Your honour, I am 75 years old.
So here I am, sitting there on my porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sits beside me.
He starts to rub my thigh, and it feels good, Your Honour.
So I don't stop him, and he begins to rub my old breasts, Your Honour. Why, Your Honour, I haven't felt that good in years!
So I just spread my old legs and say to him, "Take me, young man, Take me!"
That's when he yelled, "April Fool" and that's when I shot the Fu.cking Son of a Bitch!!
