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Author Topic: A Leeds Utd fan, a Liverpool fan and a Man Utd fan  (Read 1204 times)

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Offline PortValeChris

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A Leeds Utd fan, a Liverpool fan and a Man Utd fan
« on: April 20, 2006, 11:42:23 AM »
A Leeds Fan, a Liverpool fan and a Man u fan were all in Saudi Arabia, sharing a smuggled crate of booze. All of a sudden the Saudi police rushed in and arrested them. The mere possession of alcohol is a severe offence in Saudi Arabia, so for the terrible crime of actually being caught consuming the booze, they were sentenced to death!

However, after many months and with the help of very good lawyers, they were able to successfully appeal their sentence down to life imprisonment. By a stroke of luck, it was a Saudi national holiday the day their trial finished, and the extremely benevolent Sheikh decided they could be released after receiving just 20 lashes each of the whip. As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheikh suddenly said: "It's my first wife's birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping."

The Leeds fan was first in line (he had drunk the least), so he thought about this for a while and then said: "Please tie a pillow to my back." This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes before the whip went through. The Leeds fan had to be carried away bleeding and crying with pain when the punishment was done. The scouser was next up and after watching the scene, said:" Please fix two pillows on my back, under my dress" But even two pillows & 1 dress could only take 15 lashes before the whip went through again.

The Manc was the last one up (he had finished off the crate), but before he could say anything, the Sheikh turned to him and said: "You are from a most beautiful part of the world, your city has some of the best bars, nightclubs and restaurants in Europe, your city and football team is known throughout the world. For this, you may have two wishes!"

"Cheers mate, your Most Royal and Merciful Highness", The manc replies. "In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20, but 100 lashes."

"Not only are you an honourable, handsome and powerful man, you are also very brave." The Sheik says with an admiring look on his face. "If 100
lashes is what you desire, then so be it. And your second wish? What is it to be?" the Sheikh asks.

"Please tie the Scouser to my back."

PortValeChris  AKA The Former TVV from onevalefan. 

Port Vale  We want ah goal!!


To market, to market, with my uncle Jim
Somebody threw a tomato at him
Now, Tomatoes don't hurt with their soft juicy skin
But this one it knackered, 'cause it come in a tin

Offline Cantona007

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Re: A Leeds Utd fan, a Liverpool fan and a Man Utd fan
« Reply #1 on: April 20, 2006, 12:41:06 PM »
Ah, Chris... finally a Manc joke from you that I can appreciate...  :beermug: :rotfl:
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Offline PortValeChris

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Re: A Leeds Utd fan, a Liverpool fan and a Man Utd fan
« Reply #2 on: April 20, 2006, 01:01:12 PM »
Tis a pleasure ooh aah cantona
PortValeChris  AKA The Former TVV from onevalefan. 

Port Vale  We want ah goal!!


To market, to market, with my uncle Jim
Somebody threw a tomato at him
Now, Tomatoes don't hurt with their soft juicy skin
But this one it knackered, 'cause it come in a tin

Offline dotless007

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Re: A Leeds Utd fan, a Liverpool fan and a Man Utd fan
« Reply #3 on: April 20, 2006, 06:11:15 PM »
glory glory man utd :rotfl:

Offline ndookie

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Re: A Leeds Utd fan, a Liverpool fan and a Man Utd fan
« Reply #4 on: April 21, 2006, 12:47:46 AM »
UNITED !!!!!! UNITED !!!!!
Glory Glory Man Utd !


Offline Pointman

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Re: A Leeds Utd fan, a Liverpool fan and a Man Utd fan
« Reply #5 on: April 22, 2006, 03:24:05 PM »
 :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: dat's de best joke ever :rotfl: :rotfl: 100 ah de very best in he ass!!!!!!!
Trini to de bone; Pointman to de bone.

 

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