After graduating from the University of Arkansas, a young journalist gets a job at a tiny provincial newspaper in the middle of the prairies. His first assignment is to write a human-interest story, so he goes out to the country to do his research. Driving through the cornfields, he spies an old farmhand and introduces himself. ‘I was just wondering, sir’ the young hack asked. ‘Out here in the middle of nowhere – has anything ever happened that made you happy?’ The old-timer furrowed his weathered brow for a moment. ‘Yep!’ he exclaimed, suddenly. ‘One time my neighbour's daughter, a good-looking girl, got lost. So we formed a posse, and went out and found her. After we all screwed her, we took her back home.’ The young journo blanched. ‘I can't print that!’ he cried. ‘Can't you think of anything else that happened that made you happy?’ The farmer thought again. ‘Yeah!’ he said, finally. ‘One time one of my neighbour's sheep got lost. After forming a posse, we found it and all screwed it before we took it back home.’ ‘Christ!’ says the young man. ‘I can't print that either!’ He thinks for a while. ‘Okay – has anything ever happened around here that made you sad?’ The old man looked at the ground. ‘Well,’ he said sheepishly. ‘I got lost once.’