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Offline zuluwarrior

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Look before you leap
« on: July 20, 2008, 08:52:37 PM »
 

Saturday 19th July, 2008   
Look before you leap
 
     

 
BY BOBIE-LEE DIXON

First comes love then comes marriage, then carriage right? At least that’s how the old saying goes. So you find your prince charming, he whisks you off your feet, he gets down on one knee and pops the question your were so anticipating, you say yes and before you know it you’re walking down the isle dressed beautifully in tears.

The ‘I can’t believe it’s happening to me’ experience is about this time happening—love is all you see and your hope is to spend the rest of your life with this man who awaits you at the altar.

Sounds like a fairy tale huh? Well for most that’s what we women truly hope for...a fairy tale. Unfortunately this is just not the case. Marriage as we know is a covenant between two people that is supposed to be entered into with the utmost care and consideration.

For a man to ask for a woman’s hand in marriage he should have considered all things, that would include both the positive and negative, of course if proper time was taken during the courtship period to feel each other out, then both parties should have a fair idea of who they are about to wed and so would have made a conscious choice to accept their partner for who they are.

Why divorces occur

In the process of exchanging vows, the words that always seem to leave a footprint in my heart are ‘for better or worse.’ Do we really understand what that means or do we just enjoy saying them?

Dr Barbara John, founder of Family Counseling Ltd, says in her book Divorced and Coping that marriages fail for many different reasons, but most of the time when a spouse seeks a divorce from his or her partner, it is usually because of a third party.

But people also divorce for reasons other than infidelity. Couples can also get divorced because of abuse, either be psychological, verbal or physical or because of desertion.

John also feels that irreconcilable differences in a marriage in the eyes of God are not sufficient grounds for a spouse to demand a divorce from his or her partner.

She said: “I have learned that if you are in God’s will, then every experience that he takes you through is for a reason and has a divine purpose and only lasts for a season.

“Whatever God permits—and he has to permit it because the devil cannot touch us without His (God’s) approval—whatever has been taken away from us, He would most definitely replace with something better.”

Hold on

John said whenever a trial or trials step into marriages, when people know that the particular situation is not of their own making, then they should know and understand for a surety that God is simply setting them up for a blessing.

She said one could not possibly have a testimony without first going through a test.

“Marriage is a lot of work, a lot of dedication, pain, compromise and yes joy. But we should always remember our vows ‘for better or for worse’. You must know if your marriage is worth fighting for.” she said.

 
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good things happening to good people: a good thing
good things happening to bad people: a bad thing
bad things happening to good people: a bad thing
bad things happening to bad people: a good thing