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Author Topic: NEED A CHUCKLE?  (Read 424 times)

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Offline dtool

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NEED A CHUCKLE?
« on: August 10, 2016, 04:14:45 PM »
        NEED A CHUCKLE?
         
        It was getting a little crowded in Heaven, so God decided to change
        the admittance policy. The new law was that in order to get into
        Heaven, you had to have a really bad day on the day that you died. The policy
        would go into effect at noon the next day.
         
        So, the next day at 12:01 the first person came to the gates of
        Heaven. The Angel at the gate, remembering the new policy, promptly
        asked the man, "Before I let you in, I need you to tell me how your day was
        going when you died."
         
        "No problem," the man said. "I came home to my 25th-floor apartment on
        my lunch hour and caught my wife having an affair. But her lover
        was nowhere in sight. I immediately began searching for him. My wife
        was half naked and yelling at me as I searched the entire apartment.
        Just as I was about to give up, I happened to glance out onto the
        balcony and noticed that there was a man hanging off the edge by his
        fingertips!
         
        The nerve of that guy! Well, I ran out onto the balcony and stomped on
        his fingers until he fell to the ground. But wouldn't you know it, he
        landed in some trees and bushes that broke his fall and he didn't die.
        This ticked me off even more. In a rage, I went back inside to get the
        first heavy thing I could get my hands on to throw at him. Oddly
        enough, the first thing I thought of was the refrigerator.
        I unplugged it, pushed it out onto the balcony, and tipped it over the
        side. It plummeted 25 stories and crushed him! The excitement of the
        moment was so great that I had a heart attack and died almost
        instantly
."
         
        The Angel sat back and thought a moment. Technically, the guy did have
        a bad day. It was a crime of passion. So, the Angel announced, "OK,
        sir.. Welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven," and let him in.
         
        A few seconds later the next guy came up. To the Angel's surprise, it
        was Donald Trump. "Mr. Trump, before I can let you in, I need to hear
        about what your day was like when you died."
         
        Trump said, "No problem. But you're not going to believe this. I was
        on the balcony of my 26th floor apartment doing my daily exercises. I
        had been under a lot of pressure so I was really pushing hard to
        relieve my stress. I guess I got a little carried away, slipped, and
        accidentally fell over the side! Luckily, I was able to catch myself by the fingertips
        on the balcony below mine. But all of a sudden this crazy man comes
        running out of his apartment, starts cussing, and stomps on my
        fingers. Well, of course I fell. I hit some trees and bushes at the
        bottom, which broke my fall, so I didn't die right away. As I'm laying there face up on
        the ground, unable to move and in excruciating pain,
        I see this guy push his refrigerator of all things off the balcony. It
        falls the 25 floors and lands on top of me, killing me.

         
        The Angel is quietly laughing to himself as Trump finishes his story.
        "I could get used to this new policy," he thinks to himself. "Very
        well," the Angel announces. "Welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven," and he
        lets Trump enter.
         
        A few seconds later, Bill Clinton comes up to the gate. The Angel is
        almost too shocked to speak. Thoughts of assassination and war pour
        through the Angel's head. Finally he says, "Mr. President, please tell
        me what it was like the day you died."
         
        Clinton says, "OK, picture this.  I'm naked, inside a refrigerator......"


Offline Sando prince

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Re: NEED A CHUCKLE?
« Reply #1 on: August 12, 2016, 11:42:39 AM »

 :D

Offline boss

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Re: NEED A CHUCKLE?
« Reply #2 on: August 15, 2016, 11:34:30 AM »
 :rotfl:

Offline lefty

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Re: NEED A CHUCKLE?
« Reply #3 on: August 24, 2016, 05:49:08 PM »
 :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:
heeeerrree's johnny!

Offline weary1969

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Re: NEED A CHUCKLE?
« Reply #4 on: September 14, 2016, 08:29:02 AM »
GOOD ONE
Today you're the dog, tomorrow you're the hydrant - so be good to others - it comes back!"

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Re: NEED A CHUCKLE?
« Reply #5 on: March 16, 2017, 10:48:37 PM »
VITAMIN V...KEEPS THE LADIES HEALTHY...:-)