Soca Warriors Online Discussion Forum

General => Jokes => Topic started by: lickslikefire on April 14, 2006, 09:14:20 AM

Title: Men vs Women.....
Post by: lickslikefire on April 14, 2006, 09:14:20 AM

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.
 
FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting  into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."
 
I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"
 
So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"
 
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep. The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."
 
She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."
 
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."
 
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled "WHAT?"
 
I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."
 
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"
 
Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her.

Title: Re: Men vs Women.....
Post by: NYtriniwhiteboy.. on April 14, 2006, 10:50:17 AM

 :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:
looooorse

Title: Re: Men vs Women.....
Post by: trinindian on April 16, 2006, 10:48:13 AM

 :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

classic never get old eachtime i hear it

Title: Re: Men vs Women.....
Post by: Pointman on April 18, 2006, 09:36:37 AM

 :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :applause:

Title: Re: Men vs Women.....
Post by: Pasdah Beatz on April 20, 2006, 10:07:27 AM

I have to keep this one in mind i might have to use it one day!!!