Soca Warriors Online Discussion Forum
General => Jokes => Topic started by: WestCoast on October 16, 2006, 02:40:41 PM
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Actual call centre conversations !!!!!
Customer: "I've been ringing 0800 2100 for two
days and can't get through to enquiries, can you
help?".
Operator: "Where did you get that number from,
sir?"
Customer: "It was on the door to the Travel
Centre".
Operator: "Sir, they are our opening hours".
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Samsung Electronics
Caller: "Can you give me the telephone number
for Jack?"
Operator: "I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who
you are talking about".
Caller: "On page 1, section 5, of the user
guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax
machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack
before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for
Jack?"
Operator: "I think you mean the telephone point
on the wall".
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RAC Motoring Services
Caller: "Does your European Breakdown Policy
cover me when I am travelling in Australia?"
Operator: " Doesn't the product name give you a
clue?"
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Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while
travelling in France):
"If I register my car in France, do I have to change
the steering wheel to the other side of the car?"
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Directory Enquiries
Caller: "I'd like the number of the
Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff please".
Operator: "I'm sorry, there's no listing. Is
the spelling correct?"
Caller: "Well, it used to be called the
Bargoed Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off".
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Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear
company in Woven.
Operator: "Woven? Are you sure?"
Caller: "Yes. That's what it says on the
label; Woven in Scotland".
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On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing
sounds from a phone box told a worried operator:
"I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to
write the number on".
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Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the
Open Desktop".
Customer: "OK".
Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?".
Customer: "No".
Tech Support: "OK. Right-Click again. Do you see
a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No".
Tech Support: "OK, sir. Can you tell me what you
have done up until this point?".
Customer: "Sure. You told me to write
'click' and I wrote 'click'".
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Tech Support: "OK. In the bottom left hand
side of the screen, can you see the 'OK' button
displayed?"
Customer: "Wow. How can you see my
screen from there?"
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Caller: "I deleted a file from my PC last week and I
have just realised that I need it. If I turn my system
clock back two weeks will I have my file back again?".
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There's always one. This has got to be one of the
funniest things in a long time. I think this guy
should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true
story from the Word Perfect Helpline, which was
transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer
care department. Needless to say the Help Desk
employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing
the Word Perfect organization for "Termination without
Cause".
Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer
Support employee. (Now I know why they record these
conversations!):
Operator: "Ridge Hall, computer assistance;
may I help you?"
Caller: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble
with WordPerfect."
Operator: "What sort of trouble??"
Caller: "Well, I was just typing along,
and all of a sudden the words went away."
Operator: "Went away?"
Caller: "They disappeared."
Operator: "Hmm So what does your screen look
like now?"
Caller: "Nothing."
Operator: "Nothing??"
Caller: "It's blank; it won't accept
anything when I type."
Operator: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or
did you get out??"
Caller: "How do I tell?"
Operator: "Can you see the C: prompt on the
screen??"
Caller: "What's a sea-prompt?"
Operator: "Never mind, can you move your
cursor around the screen?"
Caller: "There isn't any cursor: I told
you, it won't accept anything I type."
Operator: "Does your monitor have a power
indicator??"
Caller: "What's a monitor?"
Operator: "It's the thing with the screen on
it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light
that tells you when it's on??"
Caller: "I don't know."
Operator: "Well, then look on the back of the
monitor and find where the power cord goes into it.
Can you see that??"
Caller: "Yes, I think so."
Operator: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug,
and tell me if it's plugged into the wall.
Caller: "Yes, it is."
Operator: "When you were behind the monitor,
did you notice that there were two cables plugged into
the back of it, not just one??"
Caller: "No."
Operator: "Well, there are. I need you to
look back there again and find the other cable."
Caller: "Okay, here it is."
Operator: "Follow it for me, and tell me if
it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."
Caller: "I can't reach."
Operator: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it
is??"
Caller: "No."
Operator: "Even if you maybe put your knee on
something and lean way over??"
Caller: "Oh, it's not because I don't
have the right angle - it's because it's dark."
Operator: "Dark??"
Caller: "Yes - the office light is off,
and the only light I have is coming in from the
window.
" Operator: "Well, turn on the office light then."
Caller: "I can't."
Operator: "No? Why not??"
Caller: "Because there's a power
failure."
Operator: "A power......... A power failure? Aha,
Okay, we've got it licked now.
Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing
stuff your computer came in??"
Caller: "Well, yes, I keep them in the
closet."
Operator: "Good. Go get them, and unplug
your system and pack it up just like it was when you
got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it
from."
Caller: "Really? Is it that bad?"
Operator: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."
Caller: "Well, all right then, I
suppose. What do I tell them??"
Operator: "Tell them you're too damn
stupid to own a computer.
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he had ah fukin right to tell de person that.
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i can't believe dat people r sooooo stupid... i may have done d same ting if i was dat Rep. actually ... i may have used obscene :devil: