Soca Warriors Online Discussion Forum
Sports => Football => Topic started by: dwn on May 22, 2009, 06:50:07 AM
-
From FourFourTwo Magazine:
Goalkeeper
RENE HIGUITA
The poodle-permed plastic surgery advocate first came to the world’s attention at Italia 90 after a bungled attempt to dribble past 86-year-old Roger Milla. In 1995, he reaffirmed his status as the world’s most maverick keeper with his ‘scorpion kick’ at Wembley. Having missed USA 1994 while doing porridge for his part in a drug-cartel kidnapping, Higuita tested positive for cocaine in 2003, but at 42, he’s still playing in Colombia’s second division.
-----
Centre-back
DARIO DUBOIS
This one-time Argentinian third division clogger played with his face made up to look like long-tongued rockers Kiss. When asked to explain his matchday get-up by bemused officials, he cited his love for heavy metal and Satan.
-----
Centre-back
OSCAR MALBERNAT
The uncompromising captain of Estudiantes’ greatest ever team, Malbernat’s crowning moment of mentalism came in the Intercontinental Cup against Feyenoord in 1970. Irked by impending defeat, the Argentina defender grabbed bespectacled opponent Joop Van Daele, ripped his specs from his face and trampled on them, shouting; “You’re not allowed to play football in glasses in South America.” Quite right.
-----
Centre-back
PAOLO MONTERO
The Uruguayan hardman had a simple motto: ‘Cunning is part of the modern game’. This philosophy earned Montero a Serie A record 13 red cards, which proved it was about as cunning as Baldrick. Montero, whose dad was also a nutbar in the ‘70s, was immortalised in an Italian sketch show, in which the character based on the then Juve man went around clobbering everyone he met.
-----
Midfielder
ARIEL ORTEGA
The first ‘new Maradona’ was also the barmiest, which he proved in 1998 by headbutting Edwin van der Sar before almost doing the same to his wife in 2008. A local judge ordered him to stay away from his family for a month, during which time the ‘Little Donkey’ – a recovering alcoholic – slept at River Plate’s stadium.
-----
Midfielder
GARRINCHA
Having lost his virginity to a goat, Garrincha was always going to be a bit different. To confirm this, he fathered 14 illegitimate children, killed his mother-in-law in a car crash, punched his wife in a drunken rage, and drank himself into an early grave. But not before having it away with a number of nurses who were tending to him on his deathbed.
-----
Midfielder
DJALMINHA
The mercurial Brazilian wasn’t one to use his noggin, except on other people. While playing in Spain, he stuck the nut on his manager, Javier Irureta, square in the chops after a training ground bust up. He repeated the trick two years later, giving an air steward – who had the temerity to ask to see his plane ticket – a Glasgow kiss.
-----
Midfielder
ARMANDO PAREDES
Of his record 20 fines, his most recent was the most serious, the Ecuadorian playmaker threatening to kill his former manager, Gabriel Parrone, in front of the press for substituting him during a game.
-----
Striker
FAUSTINO ASPRILLA
Forget scrapping Jose Luis Chilavert, scheming with George Reynolds or staring out his own horse for a FourFourTwo photoshoot, Tino’s at his bonkers best with a gun in his hand. When playing in Chile, he turned up to training branding a piece and demanded that, unless the players start running, he’ll shoot. Similarly, in 2008, the rubber-limbed forward was placed under house arrest for firing 31 shotgun rounds into a wall at the end of his road.
-----
Striker
DARIO (DADA MARAVILHA)
Brazil’s ‘70s centre-forward used a unique performance enhancer; a hand-shandy, before each game, which left him feeling, “light as the wind”. Famed for his self-aggrandising quotes – “Only three things stop in the air: hummingbirds, helicopters and Dada” – he blamed the failure of his marriage on the sighting of a UFO.
-----
Striker
ROMARIO
Dropped by Brazil’s youth team in 1985 after peeing on passers-by from his balcony. Having branded Pele a “museum piece” and Zico a “loser”, in 2003 he clobbered a Fluminese fan for throwing a chicken on to the training pitch. Says “the night” is his friend. Christ.
-----
Manager
CARLOS BILARDO
The self-proclaimed “craziest man in the world” once spent a game demanding his Boca team mark a player who wasn’t on the pitch. Another time, when one of his players swapped shirts with an opponent after being thumped 6-0, Bilardo set the shirt on fire.
-----
Substitutes
CARLOS ROA
‘The lettuce’ retired in 1999 because he believed the world was coming to an end.
-----
VIOLA
Brazil nut once banned for attacking a radio journalist. During a match.
-----
HECTOR VEIRA
The playboy once tied a one-armed teammate to a toilet for not passing to him.
-
Yuh should not :rotfl: but some ah dem fellas crazyyyyyyyyyyyyy
-
:rotfl: :rotfl:
I don't know how true these stories are but funny as hell dread :rotfl: :rotfl:
VB
-
No Edmundo?
-
No Edmundo?
i was thinking the same thing
a next one who mad like hell
-
lmao dis had me rolling nah :rotfl:
-
lol.. good post..
but Maradona hadda be on that squad.
-
I feel they didn't want Brazilians and Argentines to monopolize the list, but it have nutten crazier dan a man called Renato Portaluppi (Renato Gaucho or just Renato) who was on Brazil 86 and 90 squads. Dat is Edmundo fadda when it come to inexplicable behavior on and off de field and Edmundo shoulda be on de list self. Next man from Brazil who was a lil nuts was Josimar.
Of the Argies, Maradona should be on dat list. But I think Cannigia was even crazier.
Seba Abreu from Uruguay should be on dat list too
I man was right when he say it eh right to laugh, but dat is some funny stuff
-
Wow. Certainly not a flattering portrait of Garrincha, is it?
-
Wow. Certainly not a flattering portrait of Garrincha, is it?
yeah but i still not sure if he "get away", as in fight, with the nurses at his bedside or if he "had his way", with them.
-
We can match dem defenders wid Cyd Gray,Avery John and Ancil Elcock. ;D ;D ;D
-
Whey Chilavert? He was mad no ass.
-
ah sure it have men on dis site who could add some ah we players to dis list .making it ah ..latin america and the caribbean .list ....Like charlie spooner for example ! Man eh missing dat match up between Spooner and baby thomasos . Dem fellas used to sharpen dey pegs before a game .
Spooner once lick down an african student playing for Howard bisons ...ball cudda pass , man cudda pass , but ball and man couldn't pass .
The african did put down ah dribble on the "Spoon " ..well next journey down , The Spoon just rest a right flush on de man jaw " want to embarass me in front all dese people " and walk straight off de pitch. Ah doh think de african was able continue !
-
De whole Reggae Britz side
-
This funny to bad.
-
Garrincha and a goat yes....w t f