Topics

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Jokes / 1 Wish, 1 Wish, 1 Wish

« on: December 01, 2006, 12:48:30 PM »

A woman was walking along the beach when she stumbled upon a Genie's lamp. She picked it up and rubbed it, and lo-and-behold a Genie appeared. The amazed woman asked if she was going to receive the usual three wishes.

The Genie said, "Nope... due to inflation, constant downsizing, low wages in third-world countries, and fierce global competition, I can only grant you one wish. So...what'll it be?"

The woman didn't hesitate. She said, "I want peace in the Middle East. See this map? I want these countries to stop fighting with each other."

The Genie looked at the map and exclaimed, "Gadzooks, lady! These countries have been at war for thousands of years. I'm good, but not THAT good! I don't think it can be done. Make another wish."

The woman thought for a minute and said, "Well, I've never been able to find the right man. You know, one that's considerate and fun, likes to cook and helps with the housecleaning, is good in bed and gets along with my family, doesn't watch sports all the time, and is faithful. That's what I wish for ... a good mate."

The Genie let out a long sigh and said, "Let me see that damn map!"

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General Discussion / 4 Guys Only

« on: November 29, 2006, 09:17:38 AM »

I'm just doing a little servey to prove my friends wrong about what fellas really prefer in T&T and the Caribbean. GAME ON !

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General Discussion / How yuh feel about d X?

« on: November 29, 2006, 09:04:25 AM »

Short and to the Point.... How would you feel and/or react to your woman/man still contacting their ex, (whom you have never met nor seen) and they didn't tell you about it? Be honest.

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General Discussion / Everybody......yuh have tuh check dis!

« on: September 05, 2006, 09:25:35 AM »

I WOULD JUST LIKE TO GET YOUR HONEST OPINION IN EACH SITUATION , KEEPING IN MIND, THAT WHAT GOES AROUND.......... WELL YOU KNOW THE REST!

No. 1   

This one is about cell phones..........
Sopposin yuh buy ah real sweet, blingin cell phone , rite? and is long time  yuh eyein it......
But one day yuh happen to loose it an it hottin yuh, cuz yuh kno how long yuh take tuh buy it and yuh tryin all kinda ting to get it back, yuh retrace yuh steps, yuh callin, but the person who find it not answering, cuz dem want it more dan you !!!
TELL MEH.....How yuh feel about dat ?

No. 2

Yuh find ah cell fone boy...........it re-he -hell sweet....!
Is long time yuh eyein it, but yuh could'nt afford it .
And fuh some reason, it land in the palm ah yuh hand and yuh thinkin the GOOD LORD ansa yuh prayers........ BUT DOH FORGET........
IS NOT YOURS......

Honestly, wha yuh go do?

AND FINALLY

No. 3
 
Ah friend of yours find ah celly he real like , ah expensive one
He decide to keep it..........
He call yuh wen he find it cuz the fone have real $ on it.....
BUT CHECK DIS
The owner of the fone , call your ass about a month later
Sayin dat the person who stole his fone call your number wit it!
The owner is a member of the police force, ah CORP.
He want his cell back
With respect to your opinions of the 2 prior situations.......
What will you do?
Leave it alone? Snitch? or advise your friend to give it up?


AND TELL ME WHICH 1 YOU'VE EXPERIENCED

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Jokes / 2 minute management course.......FUNNY BUT VERY TRUE

« on: July 21, 2006, 09:05:10 AM »

2 minute management course


Lesson One
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.
A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you
and do nothing?"

The eagle answered: "Sure, why not."
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested.
All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Management Lesson: To be sitting and doing nothing, you
                                        must be sitting very, very high up.

Lesson two
A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy."

"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?"
replied the bull.
"They're packed with nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.
       
 The next day after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
 Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.
 He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.

Management Lesson: Bull shit might get you to the top, but
                              it won't keep you there.
Lesson Three
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold, the
bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.

While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize
how warm he was.

The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.

Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.


Management Lesson:
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your
     mouth shut!

This ends your 2 minute management course

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Jokes / How True Is This?

« on: July 17, 2006, 12:38:16 PM »

A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost. He reduced altitude and   spotted a woman below.

He descended a bit more and shouted, "Excuse me, can you help me?

I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where   I am."

The woman below replied, "You're in a hot air balloon hovering   approximately 30 feet above the ground. You're between 40 and 41 degrees
north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude."

"You must be in Information Technology," said the balloonist.

"I am," replied the woman, "How did you know?"

"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically   correct, but I've no idea what to make of your information and the fact
is I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help at all. If anything, you've delayed my trip."

The woman below responded, "You must be in Management."

"I am," replied the balloonist, "but how did you know?"

"Well," said the woman, "you don't know where you are or where you're   going.

You have risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You   made a promise, which you've no idea how to keep, and you expect people
beneath you to solve your problems. The fact is you are in exactly the   same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it's my   fault."

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Jokes / 4 U 2 Smile

« on: July 10, 2006, 12:12:08 PM »

A woman pregnant with triplets was walking down the street, and being in the wrong place at the wrong time, a masked bandit ran out from a bank and shot her 3 times in the stomach.....

Luckily the babies were OK, but the doctor decided to leave the bullets in since it would be to risky to operate. She eventually gave birth to two bouncing baby girls and and one bouncing baby boy........

All was normal for 16 years until one of he two daughters went to her mother in tears. "What's wrong ?" the mother asked
"I was taking a tinkle and this bullet came out" replied the daughter"
Don't worry the mother told her and explained what had happened 16 years ago........

Two weeks later her 2nd daughter came to her crying for the same reason and so she explined to her what had happened 16 years ago......


A week later the son came to her in tears..........
"okay" the mother said " I know what happened, you were taking a tinkle and a bullet came out."
" No" said the boy "I playing with myself and I shot the dog "


I KNOW YOU SMILED!!!

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General Discussion / Somebody............. ansa dis question fuh meh nah!

« on: July 05, 2006, 10:50:23 AM »

WHY SOME PEOPLE DOES DRIVE TAXI AND DEY STCHUPID SOOOOO?

Dis morning I sit dong in ah taxi, and wen I almost reach my destination, he tellin me where I have to take it, because he turining off someplace else....... So politely I said " No ah droppin by the Library in Sando"
STHUPIDIE: " So rite day yuh cyah walk?" well by dat time meh teeth fightin tuh hold back meh tongue!
CRISSY:" Who d ass yuh feel yuh talkin too, I payin my money to drop weh ah goin.... I neva flag you dong fuh no drop...... SHIT"
Yeh man, ah say to ass was wit dat, too much taxi drivers now a days gettin besides deyself.
So STHUPIDIE start to drive like ah crud because I put him in he place.. He cud ah hit somebody innocently over he dotish behavior, so people, be careful ot there, because yuh cyah stand up for what's right or speak yuh mind. If he had ah gun he mighta shoot meh in meh head!

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Football / Everything Happens 4 a Reason, even in Football...

« on: June 12, 2006, 01:41:15 PM »

To my beautiful people out there, I hope that all is well and that your support for the SOCA WARRIORS is unconditional. When I looked at the match on SATURDAY against Sweeden, I told myself that Shacka Hislop was put there by the grace of God and what a game he played, when one of our players were put off the field and we were down to Ten Men, it hurt, but in the end it showed up as Immence Passion, Detrmination and Teamwork.... In the beginning thse situations seemed like great disadvantages, but in the end it proves that Everything Happens 4 a Reason, even in football folks!And just for the record it aint no VOODOO, just a little prayer, love and support.