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« on: August 15, 2006, 01:46:47 PM »
From my experience (ldr for 5 years) Grande's words of advice are solid. Cocoa might have a thing or two worth noting as well.
You see I was young when the relationship started, my first boyfriend and things were great. When he went away the relationship remained really strong, we spoke on the phone often, we wrote each other as much as possible and he came home every vacation and even surprised me for a birthday or two. However, as time passed and I got older I started resenting the situation (not him mind you) because I was basically watching my life pass me by or so I thought. You see, I wanted to be home in case he called but if he didn't call then it was a wasted night that I could have used to go to a party or lime or whatever. Everyone thought that we were the perfect couple and so there was no one that I could vent with as I was not taken seriously by my friends because our relationship was so good compared to the crap that they were going through with their home-based mates. So, I shut up, kept everything in and never really discussed it with him. So, as his studies were drawing to a close and I knew that he would soon propose, the pressure began to build and I started freaking out and then I ended it. Conveniently there was another fella on the scene but in hindsight that was just an excuse. I am no longer in contact with #2 who lives here but #1 and I are still best friends even though he chose to stay in the US.
It's a little late to make this long story short but my advice to you would be IF your realtionship is built on a solid foundation to go for it with these guidelines in mind.
1. Be honest and open with yourself and with him
2. Cultivate and maintain a life of your own and hopefully he will too
3. Be open to new experiences, new people, new things
4. Do all of this in the spirit of mutual trust and respect.
Nothing in life is guaranteed and as such this is no foolproof formula for having a successful long distance relationship. I wish you well in whatever you decide to do and would like to suggest that you never regret your decisions but be willing to learn from your mistakes.
God bless.