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What about Track & Field / CONGRATS TO THE T&T 4 x 100 MEN'S RELAY TEAM
« on: August 22, 2008, 08:20:14 AM »
I felt they deserved their own thread
Great job!! Proud of ALL of you!!
Great job!! Proud of ALL of you!!
3
General Discussion / Trinidadian peace keeper killed in Afghanistan
« on: August 13, 2008, 06:56:35 AM »5
General Discussion / Tragic murder in Antigua
« on: July 29, 2008, 07:06:53 AM »
I didn't know little Antigua was so bad too. 
http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article1483185.ece
http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article1483185.ece
6
Jokes / Good Catholic
« on: July 28, 2008, 12:37:02 PM »
A taxi picks up a Nun.
She gets in and notices that the very handsome cab driver won't stop staring at her.
She asks him why he is staring.
He replies: 'I have a question to ask you but I don't want to offend you.'
She answers, 'My son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive.'
'Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me.'
She responds, 'Well, let's see what we can do about that:
#1, you have to be single and
#2, you must be Catholic.'
The cab driver is very excited and says, 'Yes, I'm single and Catholic!'
'OK' the nun says. 'Pull into the next alley.'
The nun fulfills his fantasy, with a kiss that would make a hooker blush but when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.
'My dear child,' says the nun, 'why are you crying?'
'Forgive me but I've sinned. I lied and I must confess, I'm married and I'm Jewish.'
The nun says, 'That's OK. My name is Kevin and I'm going to a gay disguise party.'
She gets in and notices that the very handsome cab driver won't stop staring at her.
She asks him why he is staring.
He replies: 'I have a question to ask you but I don't want to offend you.'
She answers, 'My son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive.'
'Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me.'
She responds, 'Well, let's see what we can do about that:
#1, you have to be single and
#2, you must be Catholic.'
The cab driver is very excited and says, 'Yes, I'm single and Catholic!'
'OK' the nun says. 'Pull into the next alley.'
The nun fulfills his fantasy, with a kiss that would make a hooker blush but when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.
'My dear child,' says the nun, 'why are you crying?'
'Forgive me but I've sinned. I lied and I must confess, I'm married and I'm Jewish.'
The nun says, 'That's OK. My name is Kevin and I'm going to a gay disguise party.'
7
Entertainment & Culture Discussion / Good Parenting - Trini Style
« on: July 27, 2008, 09:28:16 AM »8
Entertainment & Culture Discussion / DAVID RUDDER - BELMONT
« on: January 14, 2008, 02:38:31 PM »
Anyone heard David Rudder's tune, BELMONT? I assume that's what it's called. Heard it on the radio yesterday (Sunday) for the first time. At first, I thought it was a commercial but then it went on and I realised it was a full tune. I have to say I use the word TUNE loosely. The lyrics, in true Rudder style were great and conjures up all the imagery of Belmont, his hometown but what in the world was going on with his voice when he recorded that tune. The WHOLE thing is offkey from beginning to end. I don't know if it's off an album or not and I pray that if it's from an album that the rest is not like BELMONT. It was very dissapointing coming from him.
9
Jokes / Trini wedding
« on: September 26, 2007, 07:26:40 AM »
An Indian man from Barataria was getting so fed-up with his son who insisted on only dating big, strong, tall & dark creole women.
Frustrated, he told his son to either marry an Indian girl that he had chosen from in the heart of Debe-Penal, or lose his inheritance and the pimped out Nissan Maxima with 20" mag rims & $35,000.00 music system.
Reluctantly the boy agreed. So he and the Penal girl got married. On the wedding night they lay butt naked on the bed indulging in heavy foreplay when suddenly the boy stopped,
shook his head in disgust and left the bedroom.
A few minutes later he returned with a yellow object and began to rub it all over the girl's body and private parts.Shocked she cried out.
"What the hell you think you doing Ravi?!? "
"He replied "It's Golden Ray...for that rich Creole flavor!!!"
Frustrated, he told his son to either marry an Indian girl that he had chosen from in the heart of Debe-Penal, or lose his inheritance and the pimped out Nissan Maxima with 20" mag rims & $35,000.00 music system.
Reluctantly the boy agreed. So he and the Penal girl got married. On the wedding night they lay butt naked on the bed indulging in heavy foreplay when suddenly the boy stopped,
shook his head in disgust and left the bedroom.
A few minutes later he returned with a yellow object and began to rub it all over the girl's body and private parts.Shocked she cried out.
"What the hell you think you doing Ravi?!? "
"He replied "It's Golden Ray...for that rich Creole flavor!!!"
11
Jokes / Rent for Apartment
« on: September 14, 2007, 09:27:26 AM »
A businessman met a beautiful girl and agreed to spend the afternoon with
her for $500. They did their thing, and, before he left, he told her that
he did not have any cash with him, but he would have his secretary write a
check and mail it to her, calling the payment "RENT FOR APARTMENT."
On the way to the office, he regretted what he had done, realizing that the
whole event had not been worth the price. So he had his secretary send a
check for $250 and enclose the following typed note:
"Dear Madam:
Enclosed find check in the amount of $250 for rent of your apartment. I am
not sending the amount agreed upon, because when I rented the place, I was
under the
impression that:
#1 - it had never been occupied;
#2 - there was plenty of heat; and
#3 - it was small enough to make me feel cozy and at home.
However, I found out that it had been previously occupied, that there
wasn't any heat, and that it was entirely too large."
Upon receipt of the note, the girl immediately returned the check for $250
with the following note:
Dear Sir:
First, I cannot understand how you could expect a beautiful apartment to
remain unoccupied indefinitely. As for the heat, there is plenty of it, if
you know
how to turn it on. Regarding the space, the apartment is indeed of regular
size, but if you don't have enough furniture to fill it, please do not
blame the
management.
Please send the rent in full or we will be forced to contact your present
landlady.
her for $500. They did their thing, and, before he left, he told her that
he did not have any cash with him, but he would have his secretary write a
check and mail it to her, calling the payment "RENT FOR APARTMENT."
On the way to the office, he regretted what he had done, realizing that the
whole event had not been worth the price. So he had his secretary send a
check for $250 and enclose the following typed note:
"Dear Madam:
Enclosed find check in the amount of $250 for rent of your apartment. I am
not sending the amount agreed upon, because when I rented the place, I was
under the
impression that:
#1 - it had never been occupied;
#2 - there was plenty of heat; and
#3 - it was small enough to make me feel cozy and at home.
However, I found out that it had been previously occupied, that there
wasn't any heat, and that it was entirely too large."
Upon receipt of the note, the girl immediately returned the check for $250
with the following note:
Dear Sir:
First, I cannot understand how you could expect a beautiful apartment to
remain unoccupied indefinitely. As for the heat, there is plenty of it, if
you know
how to turn it on. Regarding the space, the apartment is indeed of regular
size, but if you don't have enough furniture to fill it, please do not
blame the
management.
Please send the rent in full or we will be forced to contact your present
landlady.
12
Jokes / The Rasta Poet
« on: September 14, 2007, 08:37:44 AM »The National Poetry Contest had come down to two, a Yale graduate and a Jamaican Rastaman.
They were given a word, and then allowed two minutes to study the word and come up with a poem that contained the word.
The word they were given was " Timbuktu ".
First to recite his poem was the Yale graduate.
He stepped to the microphone and said:
Slowly across the desert sand,
trekked a lonely caravan;
Men on camels two by two,
Destination - Timbuktu
The crowd went crazy! No way could the Rastaman top that, they thought.
The Rastaman calmly made his way to the microphone and recited:
Me and Tim a huntin' went.
Met three whores in a pop up tent.
They was three, and we was two,
so I buck one, and Timbuktu.
The Rastaman win!!
13
Jokes / How yuh born
« on: September 07, 2007, 09:53:11 AM »
Each Friday night after work, Charlo wud fire up his outdoor
> grill and cook wild meat. But, all of Charlo's neighbors was Catholic....And
> since it was Lent, dey was forbidden from eating meat on Good Friday.
>
> De delicious aroma from de wild meat was causing such a problem for de
> Catholic faithful that dey finally talked to their priest.
>
> De Priest came to visit Charlo, and suggested that he become a Catholic.
> After several classes and much study, Charlo attended Mass.....and as de
> priest sprinkled holy water over him, he said, "You was born a Baptist, and
> raised a Baptist, but now you are a Catholic."
>
> Charlo's neighbors was greatly relieved, until next Good Friday night
> arrived, and de wonderful aroma of Tatoo filled de neighborhood. De Priest
> was called immediately by de neighbors, and, as he rushed
> into Charlo's yard, clutching a rosary and prepared to buf him, he stopped
> and watched in amazement.
>
> There stood Charlo, clutching a small bottle of holy water which he
> carefully sprinkled over de grilling meat and chanted: "You wuz born a
> Tatoo, you wuz raised a Tatoo, but now you is a saltfish."
>
> grill and cook wild meat. But, all of Charlo's neighbors was Catholic....And
> since it was Lent, dey was forbidden from eating meat on Good Friday.
>
> De delicious aroma from de wild meat was causing such a problem for de
> Catholic faithful that dey finally talked to their priest.
>
> De Priest came to visit Charlo, and suggested that he become a Catholic.
> After several classes and much study, Charlo attended Mass.....and as de
> priest sprinkled holy water over him, he said, "You was born a Baptist, and
> raised a Baptist, but now you are a Catholic."
>
> Charlo's neighbors was greatly relieved, until next Good Friday night
> arrived, and de wonderful aroma of Tatoo filled de neighborhood. De Priest
> was called immediately by de neighbors, and, as he rushed
> into Charlo's yard, clutching a rosary and prepared to buf him, he stopped
> and watched in amazement.
>
> There stood Charlo, clutching a small bottle of holy water which he
> carefully sprinkled over de grilling meat and chanted: "You wuz born a
> Tatoo, you wuz raised a Tatoo, but now you is a saltfish."
>
14
Entertainment & Culture Discussion / Paul Potts - Britain's Got Talent winner
« on: September 05, 2007, 04:47:40 PM »15
General Discussion / Building in Barbados collapses into cave with family of 5
« on: August 29, 2007, 07:50:37 AM »16
Jokes / Union Worker
« on: August 22, 2007, 08:58:19 AM »
Two guys and a union worker were fishing on a lake one day, when Jesus walked across the water and joined them in the boat. When the three astonished men had settled down enough to speak, the first guy asked humbly, "Jesus, I've suffered from back pain ever since I took shrapnel in the Vietnam war...could you help me?"
"Of course, my son", Jesus said, and when he touched the man's back, he felt relief for the first time in years. The second man, who wore very thick glasses and had a hard time reading and driving, asked if Jesus could do anything about his eyesight. Jesus smiled, removed the man's glasses and tossed them in the lake. When they hit the water, the man's eyes cleared and he could see everything distinctly.
When Jesus turned to heal the union worker, the guy put his hands up and cried defensively, "Don't touch me! I'm on long term disability."
"Of course, my son", Jesus said, and when he touched the man's back, he felt relief for the first time in years. The second man, who wore very thick glasses and had a hard time reading and driving, asked if Jesus could do anything about his eyesight. Jesus smiled, removed the man's glasses and tossed them in the lake. When they hit the water, the man's eyes cleared and he could see everything distinctly.
When Jesus turned to heal the union worker, the guy put his hands up and cried defensively, "Don't touch me! I'm on long term disability."
17
No matter what this Jewish husband did in bed, his wife never achieved an orgasm.
Since a Jewish wife is entitled to sexual pleasure, they decide to consult their Rabbi.
The Rabbi listens to their story, strokes his beard, and makes the following suggestion:
"Hire a strapping young man. While the two of you are making love, have the young man wave a towel over you. That will help your wife fantasize and should bring on an orgasm."
They go home and follow the Rabbi's advice. They hire a handsome young man and he waves a towel over them as they make love. It does not help and the wife is still unsatisfied. Perplexed, they go back to the Rabbi.
"Okay," he says to the husband, "Try it reversed. Have the young man make love to your wife and you wave the towel over them." Once again, they follow the Rabbi's advice. They go home and hire, the same strapping young man. The young man gets into bed with the wife and the husband waves the towel. The young man gets to work with great enthusiasm and soon she has an enormous, room-shaking, ear-splitting screaming orgasm.
The husband smiles, looks at the young man and says to him triumphantly,
"See that, you schmuck? THAT'S how you wave a towel!"
Since a Jewish wife is entitled to sexual pleasure, they decide to consult their Rabbi.
The Rabbi listens to their story, strokes his beard, and makes the following suggestion:
"Hire a strapping young man. While the two of you are making love, have the young man wave a towel over you. That will help your wife fantasize and should bring on an orgasm."
They go home and follow the Rabbi's advice. They hire a handsome young man and he waves a towel over them as they make love. It does not help and the wife is still unsatisfied. Perplexed, they go back to the Rabbi.
"Okay," he says to the husband, "Try it reversed. Have the young man make love to your wife and you wave the towel over them." Once again, they follow the Rabbi's advice. They go home and hire, the same strapping young man. The young man gets into bed with the wife and the husband waves the towel. The young man gets to work with great enthusiasm and soon she has an enormous, room-shaking, ear-splitting screaming orgasm.
The husband smiles, looks at the young man and says to him triumphantly,
"See that, you schmuck? THAT'S how you wave a towel!"
18
Jokes / Black Panties
« on: August 03, 2007, 12:30:00 PM »
Black Panties
Anna had lost her husband almost four years ago.
Her daughter was constantly calling her and urging her to get back into the world.
Finally, Anna said she'd go out, but didn't know anyone.
Her daughter immediately replied, "Mom I have someone for you to meet."
Well, it was an immediate hit.
They took to one another and after dating for six weeks,
he asked her to join him for a weekend in Vermont ..
Their first night there, she undressed as he did
There she stood nude, except for a pair of black lacy panties; he was in his birthday suit.
Looking her over, he asked, "Why the black panties?"
She replied: "My breasts you can fondle, my body is yours to explore, but down there I am still mourning."
He knew he was not getting lucky that night.
The following night was the same--she stood there wearing the black panties,
and he was in his birthday suit--but now he was wearing a black condom
..
She looked at him and asked: "What's with the black condom?"
He replied,
"I want to offer my deepest condolences"
Anna had lost her husband almost four years ago.
Her daughter was constantly calling her and urging her to get back into the world.
Finally, Anna said she'd go out, but didn't know anyone.
Her daughter immediately replied, "Mom I have someone for you to meet."
Well, it was an immediate hit.
They took to one another and after dating for six weeks,
he asked her to join him for a weekend in Vermont ..
Their first night there, she undressed as he did
There she stood nude, except for a pair of black lacy panties; he was in his birthday suit.
Looking her over, he asked, "Why the black panties?"
She replied: "My breasts you can fondle, my body is yours to explore, but down there I am still mourning."
He knew he was not getting lucky that night.
The following night was the same--she stood there wearing the black panties,
and he was in his birthday suit--but now he was wearing a black condom
..
She looked at him and asked: "What's with the black condom?"
He replied,
"I want to offer my deepest condolences"
19
General Discussion / What to do if you are kidnapped
« on: July 27, 2007, 12:08:39 PM »
I eh know how successful these suggestions would be in ah non-war zone but de idea came tuh me after reading dis dat Trinis living in Trinidad should be getting training on dis kinda ting. Like fire drills!! Although I eh hear bout ah kidnapping recently.
http://www.slate.com/id/2171133/?gt1=10238
http://www.slate.com/id/2171133/?gt1=10238
20
Jokes / Bunjee Jumping
« on: July 18, 2007, 07:41:18 AM »
Ole and Sven are bungee-jumping one day. Ole says to Sven, "You know,
we could make a lot of money running our own bungee-jumping service in
Mexico .
They don't have it there."
Ole thinks this is a great idea, so they pool their money and buy
everything they'll need: a tower, an elastic cord, insurance, etc.
They travel to Mexico and begin to set up on the square. As they are
constructing the tower, a crowd begins to assemble. Slowly, more and more
People gather to watch them at work.
When they had finished, there was such a crowd they thought it would be
a good idea to give a demonstration. So Ole and Sven climb the tower
together, Ole straps Sven into the harness and Sven jumps.
Sven bounces at the end of the cord, but when he comes back up Ole
notices that he has a few cuts and scratches. Unfortunately, Ole isn't able
to catch him, and he falls again, bounces and comes back up again.
This time, he is bruised and bleeding. Again Ole misses him.
Sven falls again and bounces back up. Luckily, Ole finally catches him.
Sven is pretty messed up, he's got a couple of broken bones and is
almost unconscious.
Ole asks, "What happened? Was the cord too long?"
Barely able to speak, Sven gasps, "No, the bungee cord was fine.
It was the crowd. What the hell is a piņata?"
we could make a lot of money running our own bungee-jumping service in
Mexico .
They don't have it there."
Ole thinks this is a great idea, so they pool their money and buy
everything they'll need: a tower, an elastic cord, insurance, etc.
They travel to Mexico and begin to set up on the square. As they are
constructing the tower, a crowd begins to assemble. Slowly, more and more
People gather to watch them at work.
When they had finished, there was such a crowd they thought it would be
a good idea to give a demonstration. So Ole and Sven climb the tower
together, Ole straps Sven into the harness and Sven jumps.
Sven bounces at the end of the cord, but when he comes back up Ole
notices that he has a few cuts and scratches. Unfortunately, Ole isn't able
to catch him, and he falls again, bounces and comes back up again.
This time, he is bruised and bleeding. Again Ole misses him.
Sven falls again and bounces back up. Luckily, Ole finally catches him.
Sven is pretty messed up, he's got a couple of broken bones and is
almost unconscious.
Ole asks, "What happened? Was the cord too long?"
Barely able to speak, Sven gasps, "No, the bungee cord was fine.
It was the crowd. What the hell is a piņata?"
21
Jokes / The 11th husband
« on: July 17, 2007, 02:57:22 PM »
The 11th Husband
A young man married a beautiful woman who had previously divorced 10 husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband to "Please be gentle; I'm still a virgin".
"What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married ten times?"
"Well, husband #1 was a Sales Representative ; he kept telling me how great it was going to be.
"Husband #2 was in Software Services; he was never really sure how it was supposed to function; but he said he'd look into it and get back with me.
"Husband #3 was from Field Services ; he said that everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.
"Husband # 4 was in Telemarketing ; even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.
"Husband # 5 was an Engineer , he understood the basic process but he wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state of the-art method.
"Husband #6 was from Administration ; he thought he knew how but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.
"Husband # 7 was in Marketing ; although he had a product, he was never sure how to position it.
"Husband # 8 was a Psychiatrist ; all he did was talk about it.
"Husband # 9 was a Gynecologist ; all he did was look at it.
"Husband # 10 was a Stamp Collector; all he ever did was........... God I miss him.
"But now that I've married you, I'm so excited".
"Wonderful", said the husband, "but why?
"You're with the GOVERNMENT ; "This time I KNOW I'M gonna get SCREWED."
A young man married a beautiful woman who had previously divorced 10 husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband to "Please be gentle; I'm still a virgin".
"What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married ten times?"
"Well, husband #1 was a Sales Representative ; he kept telling me how great it was going to be.
"Husband #2 was in Software Services; he was never really sure how it was supposed to function; but he said he'd look into it and get back with me.
"Husband #3 was from Field Services ; he said that everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.
"Husband # 4 was in Telemarketing ; even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.
"Husband # 5 was an Engineer , he understood the basic process but he wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state of the-art method.
"Husband #6 was from Administration ; he thought he knew how but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.
"Husband # 7 was in Marketing ; although he had a product, he was never sure how to position it.
"Husband # 8 was a Psychiatrist ; all he did was talk about it.
"Husband # 9 was a Gynecologist ; all he did was look at it.
"Husband # 10 was a Stamp Collector; all he ever did was........... God I miss him.
"But now that I've married you, I'm so excited".
"Wonderful", said the husband, "but why?
"You're with the GOVERNMENT ; "This time I KNOW I'M gonna get SCREWED."
22
Jokes / It ain't what you see but what you feel
« on: July 04, 2007, 08:09:30 AM »
A guy is walking along the strip in Las Vegas and a knockout-looking
Vegas hooker catches his eye. He strikes up a conversation and eventually
Asks the hooker, "How much do you charge?" Hooker replies, " It starts at
$500 for a hand-job." Guy says, "$500 dollars! For a hand-job! Holy crap,
No hand-job is worth that kind of money!" The hooker says, "Do you see
That Denny's on the corner?" "Yes. "Do you see the Denny's about a block
Further down?" "Yes." "And beyond that, do you see that third Denny's?"
Yes." "Well," says the hooker, smiling invitingly, "I own those. And, I
Own them because I give a hand-job that's worth $500." Guy says, "What the
Hell? You only live once. I'll give it a try." They retire to a nearby
Motel. A short time later, the guy is sitting on the bed realizing that he
Just experienced the hand-job of a lifetime, worth every bit of $500. He
Is so amazed, he says, "I suppose a blow-job is $1,000?" The hooker
Replies, "$1,500." "I wouldn't pay that for a blow-job!" The hooker
Replies, "Step over here to the window, big boy. Do you see that casino
Just across the street? I own that casino outright. I own it because I
Give a blow-job that's worth every cent of $1,500." The guy, basking in
The afterglow of that terrific hand-job, decides to put off the new car
For another year or so, and says, "Sign me up." Ten minutes later, he is
Sitting on the bed more amazed than before. He can scarcely believe it
But, he feels he truly got his money's worth. He decides to dip into the
Retirement savings for one glorious and unforgettable experience. He asks
The hooker, "How much for some pussy?" The hooker says, "Come over here to
The window, I want to show you something. Do you see how the whole city of
Las Vegas is laid out before us, all those beautiful lights, gambling
Palaces, and showplaces?" "Damn!" the guy says, in awe, "You own the whole
City?" No," the hooker replies, "but I would if I had a pussy."
Vegas hooker catches his eye. He strikes up a conversation and eventually
Asks the hooker, "How much do you charge?" Hooker replies, " It starts at
$500 for a hand-job." Guy says, "$500 dollars! For a hand-job! Holy crap,
No hand-job is worth that kind of money!" The hooker says, "Do you see
That Denny's on the corner?" "Yes. "Do you see the Denny's about a block
Further down?" "Yes." "And beyond that, do you see that third Denny's?"
Yes." "Well," says the hooker, smiling invitingly, "I own those. And, I
Own them because I give a hand-job that's worth $500." Guy says, "What the
Hell? You only live once. I'll give it a try." They retire to a nearby
Motel. A short time later, the guy is sitting on the bed realizing that he
Just experienced the hand-job of a lifetime, worth every bit of $500. He
Is so amazed, he says, "I suppose a blow-job is $1,000?" The hooker
Replies, "$1,500." "I wouldn't pay that for a blow-job!" The hooker
Replies, "Step over here to the window, big boy. Do you see that casino
Just across the street? I own that casino outright. I own it because I
Give a blow-job that's worth every cent of $1,500." The guy, basking in
The afterglow of that terrific hand-job, decides to put off the new car
For another year or so, and says, "Sign me up." Ten minutes later, he is
Sitting on the bed more amazed than before. He can scarcely believe it
But, he feels he truly got his money's worth. He decides to dip into the
Retirement savings for one glorious and unforgettable experience. He asks
The hooker, "How much for some pussy?" The hooker says, "Come over here to
The window, I want to show you something. Do you see how the whole city of
Las Vegas is laid out before us, all those beautiful lights, gambling
Palaces, and showplaces?" "Damn!" the guy says, in awe, "You own the whole
City?" No," the hooker replies, "but I would if I had a pussy."
23
A young man moved into a new apartment of his own and went to the
Lobby to put his name on his mailbox.
While there, an attractive young lady came out of the apartment
Next to the mailboxes, wearing a robe.
The boy smiled at the young woman and she started a conversation
With him.
As they talked, her robe slipped open, and it was obvious that she
Had nothing else on. The poor kid broke into a sweat trying to
Maintain eye contact.
After a few minutes, she placed her hand on his arm and said,
"Let's go to my apartment, I hear someone coming."
He followed her into her apartment; she closed the door and leaned
Against it, allowing her robe to fall off completely.
Now nude, she purred at him, "What would you say is my best
Feature?"
Flustered and embarrassed, he finally squeaked, "It's got to be
Your ears."
Astounded, and a little hurt she asked, "My ears? Look at these
Breasts; they are full and 100% natural. I work out every day and
My butt is firm and solid. Look at my skin - no blemishes anywhere.
How can you think that the best part of my body is my ears?"
Clearing his throat, he stammered.... "Outside, when you said you
Heard someone coming.... That was me."
Lobby to put his name on his mailbox.
While there, an attractive young lady came out of the apartment
Next to the mailboxes, wearing a robe.
The boy smiled at the young woman and she started a conversation
With him.
As they talked, her robe slipped open, and it was obvious that she
Had nothing else on. The poor kid broke into a sweat trying to
Maintain eye contact.
After a few minutes, she placed her hand on his arm and said,
"Let's go to my apartment, I hear someone coming."
He followed her into her apartment; she closed the door and leaned
Against it, allowing her robe to fall off completely.
Now nude, she purred at him, "What would you say is my best
Feature?"
Flustered and embarrassed, he finally squeaked, "It's got to be
Your ears."
Astounded, and a little hurt she asked, "My ears? Look at these
Breasts; they are full and 100% natural. I work out every day and
My butt is firm and solid. Look at my skin - no blemishes anywhere.
How can you think that the best part of my body is my ears?"
Clearing his throat, he stammered.... "Outside, when you said you
Heard someone coming.... That was me."
24
General Discussion / Man wakes up with a headache...after being shot by wife
« on: June 28, 2007, 02:42:13 PM »25
Jokes / Marketing is everything
« on: June 25, 2007, 01:54:29 PM »
Yussuf and Mohammed are panhandling on the Toronto subway.
Yussuf drives a Mercedes, lives in a mortgage free house and has a lot of money to spend.
Mohammed only brings in $10 to $12 a day. Mohammed asks Yussuf how he can bring home a suitcase full of $10.00 bills every day?
Yussuf says, "Look at your sign. It says: 'I have no work, a wife and 6 kids to support' ".
>Mohammed looks at Yussuf's sign. It reads: " I only need another $10.00 to move back to Pakistan."
Yussuf drives a Mercedes, lives in a mortgage free house and has a lot of money to spend.
Mohammed only brings in $10 to $12 a day. Mohammed asks Yussuf how he can bring home a suitcase full of $10.00 bills every day?
Yussuf says, "Look at your sign. It says: 'I have no work, a wife and 6 kids to support' ".
>Mohammed looks at Yussuf's sign. It reads: " I only need another $10.00 to move back to Pakistan."
26
Jokes / Be strong honey
« on: June 23, 2007, 05:46:33 PM »
A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife: "Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."
To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too
To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too
27
General Discussion / Divorced couple battle over frozen embryos!!
« on: May 31, 2007, 08:58:17 AM »
29
General Discussion / 15 year old killed in school
« on: May 24, 2007, 11:17:05 AM »
I eh see nobody talking bout dis on de forum today. I pick up meh papers in front meh door dis morning an all ah see is dis woman picture an de look of agony said it all. Meh heart break. Imagine, yuh sen yuh chile tuh school and dey shoot him dead INSIDE de school. Now whey yuh children go be safe?
http://www.thestar.com/News/article/217313
http://www.thestar.com/News/article/217313