April 20, 2024, 02:39:23 AM

Show Posts

This section allows you to view all posts made by this member. Note that you can only see posts made in areas you currently have access to.


Topics - d1onlysexysugar

Pages: [1]
1
General Discussion / Death by heatstroke - Army Training
« on: May 14, 2007, 10:36:00 AM »
Y did i have 2 pick up d papers dis morning n c dat ah young man ... 21 ... died of heat stroke durning trainin wit d Army ??? ah really feel it 4 d family  :'(

http://www.trinidadexpress.com/index.pl/article_news?id=161145671

2
General Discussion / Travel Advise
« on: May 02, 2007, 03:47:08 PM »
ah jus wanna know ... how easy / close is Phili 2 Atlanta ...........  :angel:

3
Jokes / Happy Valentines
« on: February 12, 2007, 02:48:44 PM »
OR NOT  ..........  :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

     




4
General Discussion / Wake Up Forumites
« on: January 17, 2007, 06:03:39 AM »
ah fine des days i on early n alyuh a** ent out yet .... wham like alyuh on vacation .....................................

GET UP  ;D

5
Jokes / Screwed
« on: January 08, 2007, 09:40:36 AM »
A guy is walking along the beach, when he meets a girl with no legs, crying.
"Why are you crying?" he asks.

"I've never been hugged," she says. The guy hugs her, but she continues crying.

"Why are you crying?" he asks.

"I've never been kissed," she says. The guy kisses her, but she continues crying.

"Why are you crying?" he asks.

"I've never been screwed," she says. The guy picks her up and throws her into the water.

"There," he says. "Now you're screwed."

6
Jokes / D Horner Man
« on: December 22, 2006, 03:33:25 PM »
One day Port of Spain was flooded out due to heavy rainfall.

"South people" got to leave work early.

A young man egarly rushed home to be with his equally youthful wife.

As he pulled up on his driveway, he braved the thunderous rain and darted into his house.

To his dismay, his wife's "horner-man" ran outside to get away.

The young husband walked up to his wife and "buss two slap in she a**."

Crying "bucket-ah-drop" she said,

"Why yuh slap meh for?"

She continued... "Dat is d man who buy dem shoes on yuh foot.

Dat is d man who doz help me pay d bills. Dat is d man who pay down on d car u drivin."

Totally enraged the husband replied,

"Dat is exactly why ah friggin slap yuh... yuh go hav d man runnin in d rain????:devil: :devil:

7
General Discussion / Virus run amock !
« on: December 07, 2006, 08:20:41 AM »
d virus had me ... n still have me, down 4 de week so far .....
any1 else got it?    d symtoms r similar 2 gastro ...
(mind u ah still reporting 4 duty on wk. ah sure ent gonna b here 2morrow please God!)  :angel:

8
General Discussion / Total band on cell phones in Schools
« on: November 23, 2006, 06:33:30 AM »
i was listening 2 d news in d taxi dis morning when they were sayin dat d minister wanna put a total band on all cellphones in schools because of d incident in d school where d children makin dey own porn ... what do u guys have 2 say on dis issue ???
i am very young but i had my first cellphone when i bought it ... dat was about 1 year after i had already left school!

9
Jokes / Taking advantage of the situation
« on: October 17, 2006, 12:05:56 PM »
Joe wanted to buy a motorbike. He doesn't have much luck until, one day; he comes across a Harley with a 'For Sale' sign on it.

The bike seems even better than a new one, although it is 10 years old.

It is shiny and in absolute mint condition. He immediately buys it, and asks the seller how he kept it in such great condition for 10 years.

"Well, it's quite simple, really," says the seller, "whenever the bike is
outside and it's going to rain,rub Vaseline on the chrome. It protects it from the rain." And he hands Joe a jar of Vaseline.

That night, his girlfriend, Sandra, invites him over to meet her parents.
Naturally, they take the bike there.

But just before they enter the house, Sandra stops him and says, "I have to tell you something about my family before we go in."

"When we eat dinner, we don't talk. In fact, the first person who ! says anything during dinner has to do the dishes."

"No problem," he says. And in they go.

Joe is shocked. Right smack in the middle of the living room is a huge stack of dirty dishes.

In the kitchen is another huge stack of dishes. Piled up on the stairs, in the corridor, everywhere he looks, dirty dishes.

They sit down to dinner and, sure enough, no one says a word. As dinner progresses, Joe decides to take advantage of the situation.

So he leans over and kisses Sandra. No one says a word. So he reaches over and fondles her breasts. Still, nobody says a word. So he stands up, grabs her, rips her clothes off, throws her on the table, and f**ks her right there, in front of her parents.

His girlfriend is a little flustered, her dad is obviously livid, and her mom horrified when he sits back down, but no one says a word.

He looks at her mom. "She's got a great body," he thinks. So he grabs the mom, bends her over the dinner table, and has his way with her every which way right there on the dinner table.

Now his girlfriend is furious and her dad is boiling, but still, total silence.

All of a sudden there is a loud clap of thunder, and it starts to rain. Joe
remembers his bike, so he pulls the jar of Vaseline from his pocket.

Suddenly the father backs away from the table and shouts, "All right, that's enough, I'll do the f***ing dishes!"

10
Jokes / Golfin around ...lol...
« on: October 09, 2006, 12:20:22 PM »
Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole.
The ball hit one of the men. He immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony. The woman rushed down to the man, and immediately began to apologize.
"Please allow me to help. I'm a physiotherapist and I know I could
>>relieve your pain if you'd allow me," she told him.
"Oh, no, I'll be allright. I'll be fine in a few minutes," the man replied.
He was in obvious agony, lying in the fetal position, still clasping his hands together at his groin.
At her persistence, however, he finally allowed her to help.
She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side,
loosened his pants and put her hands inside. She administered ender and artful massage for several minutes and asked, "How does that feel?"
He replied, "It feels great, but my thumb still hurts like hell."


11
Jokes / Why Do Parents Drink
« on: October 04, 2006, 04:02:30 PM »
A boss wondered why one of his most valued employees had not phoned in sick one day. Having an urgent problem with one of the main computers, he dialed the employee’s home phone number and was greeting with a child’s soft whispers.
“Hello”
“Is your daddy home?” he asked
“Yes,” whispered the small voice.
“May I talk with him?”
The child whispered “No.”
Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the boss asked, “Is anybody else there?”
“Yes,” whispered the child, “a policeman”
Wondering what a cop was doing at his employees home, the asked, “May I speak with the policeman?”
“No, he’s busy”, whispered the child.
“Busy doing what?”
“Talking to Daddy and Mummy and the Fireman,” came the whispered answer.
Growing more worried as he heard what sounded like a helicopter through the earpiece on the phone, the boss asked, “What’s that noise?”
“A helicopter” answered the whispering voice
“What’s going on there?” Demanded the boss, now truly apprehensive.
Again, whispering, the child answered, “The search team just landed the helicopter.”
Alarmed, concerned and a little frustrated the boss asked, “What are they searching for?”
Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle: “Me.”   

12
Jokes / Spare time or deadly scrabble
« on: September 29, 2006, 03:48:48 PM »
Someone out there either has too much  spare time or is deadly at Scrabble!
----------------------------------------
DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM
>----------------------------------------

PRESBYTERIAN:
When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER
>----------------------------------------

ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER
>----------------------------------------

DESPERATION:
When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT
>----------------------------------------

THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE
>----------------------------------------

GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE
>----------------------------------------

THE MORSE CODE :
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS

>----------------------------------------

SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME
>----------------------------------------

ANIMOSITY:
When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY
>----------------------------------------

ELECTION RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT
>----------------------------------------

SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LAS! NO MORE Z 'S
>----------------------------------------

A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
IM A DOT IN PLACE
>----------------------------------------

THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE
>----------------------------------------

ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE
>----------------------------------------

AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:

MOTHER-IN-LAW:
When you rearrange the letters:
WOMAN HITLER
>----------------------------------------

Yep! Someone with waaaaaaaaaaay
too much time on their hands!

13
Jokes / Something to think about
« on: September 28, 2006, 03:22:34 PM »
A middle aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital.
While on the operating table, she had a near death experience.
Seeing God, she asked, "Is my time up?"
God said, "No, you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live."
Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a
face-lift, brow lift, lip enhancement, boob job, liposuction, and a Tummy tuck.
After her last operation, she was released from the hospital.
While crossing the street on her way home, she was hit and killed by a car.
Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had another 40 years?
Why didn't you pull me out of the path of the car?"
God replied, "Girrrlllllll, I didn't even recognize you!"

14
Jokes / The Bank Robbery ...
« on: September 27, 2006, 03:23:19 PM »
Once inside the bank shortly after midnight, their efforts at disabling the security system got underway immediately. The robbers, who expected to find one or two large safes filled with cash and valuables, were surprised to see hundreds of smaller safes throughout the bank.

The robbers cracked the first safe's combination, and inside they found only a small bowl of vanilla pudding.

As recorded on the bank's audio tape system, one robber said, "At least we'll have a bit to eat."

The robbers o pened up a second safe, and it also contained nothing but vanilla pudding. The process continued until all safes were opened.

They did not find one pound sterling, a diamond, or an ounce of gold. Instead, all the safes contained covered bowls of pudding.

Disappointed, the robbers made a quiet exit, each leaving with nothing
more than a queasy, uncomfortably full stomach.

The next morning the newspaper headline read:


IRELAND'S LARGEST SPERM BANK ROBBED EARLY THIS MORNING...

15
Jokes / 2 make ah trini happy ???
« on: September 18, 2006, 01:52:59 PM »
Manning, Panday and Ramesh are flying on a Tobago Express to a
THA Meeting in Scarborough when Manning turns to Panday and, chuckling, says:

"You know, I could throw a $100 bill out the window right now and make someone very happy."

Panday shrugs and replies, "Well, I could throw ten $10 bills out the window and make ten people happy."

Not to be outdone, Ramesh says, "Well I could throw a hundred $1 bills out the window and make a hundred people happy."

The pilot rolls his eyes and says to his co-pilot,
"Such arrogant a**es back there.

Hell, I could throw all three of them out the window and make 1.2
million people happy".........

16
General Discussion / Callin out Dr. Dutty
« on: September 09, 2006, 08:05:51 PM »
i ent believe dat u r a as good as u say u r Doc. So i'll have to put u 2 d test myself..... in my case where i am havin a long distance (prayin dat he's not on dis site ...) of which i haven't seen my love goin on nine months now ...wat should i do.... how long again do u tink i will last ???
u better give me a good ans ...  ??? ???
n.b. i am a scopion :angel:

17
General Discussion / bring back d lyric 4 2day only ...
« on: August 24, 2006, 02:16:14 PM »
a good whether 4 d lyrics ...
chick line u might lucky  :angel:

18
Jokes / Death of the Husband
« on: August 21, 2006, 02:18:06 PM »
A woman was leaving a convenience store with her morning coffee when she noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery.

A long black hearse was followed by a second long black hearse about 50 feet behind the first one. Behind the second hearse was a solitary woman walking a pit bull on a leash.

Behind her, a short distance back, were about 200 women walking single file.

The woman couldn't stand her curiosity. She respectfully approached the woman walking the dog and said, "I am so sorry for your loss, and I know now is a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen a funeral like this.

Whose funeral is it?"

"My husband's."

"What happened to him?"

The woman replied, "My dog attacked and killed him."

She inquired further, "Well, who is in the second hearse?"

The woman answered, "My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my husband when the dog turned on her."

A poignant and thoughtful moment of silence passed between the two women.

"Can I borrow the dog?"

"Get in line."

19
General Discussion / give me some feed back
« on: August 15, 2006, 11:24:46 AM »
there is one thing that has been botherin me , n i want to know what u think ......

have any of u guys been in a long distance relationship or is it outdated .... what do u have 2 say to some1 in one   ??? ;)

20
Jokes / plez read dis
« on: August 04, 2006, 02:58:47 PM »
Imagine u r under Surgery...... n u can hear the doctors .....

Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy.

Someone call the janitor — we're going to need a mop.

Bo! Bo! Come back with that ! Bad Dog !

Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that ?

Hand me that.... uh.... that uh.... thingie.

Oh no ! I just lost my Rolex.

Oops ! Hey, has anyone ever survived 500ml of this stuff before ?

Darn, there goes the light again...

Ya know, there's big money in kidneys. Heck, the guy's got two of them.

Everybody stand back ! I lost my contact lens !

Could you stop that thing from beating ? It's throwing my concentration off..

What's this doing here ?

I hate it when they're missing stuff in here.

That's cool ! Now can you make his leg twitch ?

I wish I hadn't forgotten my glasses.

Well folks, this will be an experiment for us all.

Sterile, shcmerile. The floor's clean, right ?

Anyone see where I left that scalpel ?

This patient has already had some kids, am I correct ?

Nurse, did this patient sign the organ donation card ?

Don't worry. I think it is sharp enough.

FIRE ! FIRE ! Everyone get out now 

Darn ! Page 47 of the manual is missing !

21
Jokes / The Old Lady n the condom
« on: August 04, 2006, 02:43:04 PM »
Two old ladies were outside their nursing home, having a smoke, when it started to rain. One of the ladies pulled out a condom, cut off the end, put it over her cigarette, and continued smoking. Lady 1: "What's that?"
Lady 2: "A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet."
Lady 1: "Where did you get it?"
Lady 2: "You can get them at any drugstore."
The next day, Lady 1 hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms.
The guy looks at her kind of strangely (she is, after all, over 80 years of age), but politely asks what brand she prefers.
Lady 1: "It doesn't matter as long as it fits a Camel."


The pharmacist fainted. 

22
Jokes / Poor White Guy ....lol....
« on: August 04, 2006, 02:31:12 PM »
A skinny little white guy goes into an elevator, looks up and sees this BIG black guy standing next to him. The big guy sees the little guy staring at him, looks down and says: "7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch d1ck, 3 pound left testicle, 3 pound right testicle, Turner Brown." The small man faints dead away and falls to the floor. The big guy kneels down and brings him to, shaking him. The big fellow says, What's wrong with you?" In a weak voice the little guy says, "What EXACTLY did you say to me?" The big dude says, "I saw the curious look and figured I'd just give you the answers to the questions everyone always asks me. I'm 7 feet tall, I weigh 350 pounds, I have a 20 inch d1ck, my left testicle weighs 3 pounds, my right testicle weighs 3 pounds and my name is Turner Brown." The small guy says, "Turner Brown? Thank Goodness! I thought you said Turn Around."

23
Jokes / My dog SEX
« on: August 02, 2006, 09:50:34 AM »
Everybody I know who has a dog usually calls him "Rover" or "Spot". I call mine Sex.
Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me.
When I went to the City Hall to renew the dog's license, I told the clerk that I would like a license for Sex.
He said, "I would like to have one too!"
Then I said, "But she is a dog!"
He said he didn't care what she looked like.
I said, "You don't understand. ... I have had Sex since I was nine years old."
He replied, "You must have been quite a strong boy."
When I decided to get married, I told the minister that I would like to have Sex at the wedding.
He told me to wait until after the wedding was over.
I said, "But Sex has played a big part in my life and my whole world revolves around Sex."
He said he didn't want to hear about my personal life and would not marry us in his church.
I told him everyone would enjoy having Sex at the wedding.
 The next day we were married at the Justice of the Peace.
My family was barred from the church from then on.

 When my wife and I went on our honeymoon, I took the dog with me.
When we checked into the motel, I told the clerk that I wanted a room for me and my wife and a special room for Sex.
He said that every room in the motel is a place for sex.
I said, "You don't understand. ... Sex keeps me awake at night."
The clerk said, "Me too!"

 One day I entered Sex in a contest. But before the competition began, the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just looking around.
I told him that I was going to have Sex in the contest.
He said that I should have sold my own tickets. "You don't understand,"
I said, "I hoped to have Sex on TV." He called me a show off.

When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog.
 I said, "Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married but Sex left me after I was married."
The Judge said, "Same here!"

Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking all over for her.
A cop came over and asked me what I was doing in the alley at 4 o'clock in the morning.
I said, "I'm looking for Sex." -- My case comes up next Thursday.

Well now I've been thrown in jail, been divorced and had more troubles with that dog than I ever foresaw.

Why just the other day when I went for my first session with the psychiatrist, she asked
me, "What seems to be the trouble?"
I replied, "Sex has been my best friend all my life but now it has left me for ever.
I can't live any longer being so lonely." and the doctor said, "Look mister, you should understand that sex isn't a man's best friend so go get yourself a dog."


24
Jokes / Forgive u father ...
« on: August 02, 2006, 09:40:54 AM »
A woman is having an affair during the day while her husband is at work.
Her 9 year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them and hides in the bedroom closet to watch.
The woman's husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing that the little boy is in there already.
The little boy says, "Dark in here."
The man says, "Yes, it is."
Boy - "I have a baseball."
Man - "That's nice."
Boy - "Want to buy it?"
Man - "No, thanks"
Boy - "My dad's outside."
Man - "OK, how much?"
Boy - "$250"

In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the lover are in the closet together.
Boy - "Dark in here."
Man - "Yes, it is."
Boy - "I have a baseball glove."
The lover remembering the last time, asks the boy, "How much?"
Boy - "$750"
Man - "Fine."

A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your glove, let's go outside and have a game of catch."
The boy says, "I can't, I sold my baseball and my glove."
The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?"
Boy - "$1,000"

The father says, "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that.... that is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess

They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door.
The boy says, "Dark in here."
The priest says, "Don't start that shit again."

25
Jokes / difference between Man & Woman
« on: July 26, 2006, 02:23:20 PM »
Friendship Between Women:
A woman didn't come home one night. The next day she told her husband
that  she had slept over at a friend's house. The man called his wife's
10 best friends. None of them knew about it.


Friendship Between Men:
A man didn't come home one night.  The next day he told his wife that
he
had slept over at a friend's house. The woman called her husband's 10
best friends. Eight of them confirmed that he had slept over, and two
claimed that he was still there.

26
Jokes / MAN
« on: July 26, 2006, 02:19:35 PM »
HER DIARY:

Friday night, I thought he was acting weird. We had made plans to meet
at a cafe to have some coffee. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment.
>Conversation wasn't flowing so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk, he agreed but he kept quiet and absent. I asked him what was wrong he said, "Nothing." I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset.
>He said it had  nothing to do with me and not to worry. On the way
home I told him that I loved him, he simply smiled and kept driving. I don't know why he didn't say, "I  love you, too." He usually does! Why didn't he say it today?
>After a wordless drive, by the time we got home I felt as if I had
lost him, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. At home, we just sat there and watched TV; he seemed cold, distant and absent. Finally, I decided to go to bed. About 10 minutes later he came to bed. I decided that I could not take it anymore, so I decided to confront  him with the situation but he had fallen asleep.
>I started crying and cried until I too fell asleep. I don't know what
to do.
>I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a
>disaster.
>


>HIS DIARY:
>Today West Indies lorse de match and Lara out like an ASS. DAMN IT!

27
Jokes / trini chinese bajan
« on: July 25, 2006, 11:16:25 AM »
A ship sank in high seas and the following people got stranded on
a beautiful deserted island in the middle of nowhere:

A. 2 Jamaican men and 1 Jamaican woman
B. 2Trinibago men and 1 Trinbago woman
C. 2 Guyanese men and 1 Guyanese woman
D. 2 Bajan men and 1 Bajan woman
E. 2 Antiguan men and 1 Antiguan woman
F. 2 Chinese men and 1 Chinese woman
G. 2 Indian men and 1 Indian woman

One month later, on various parts of the island, the following
were observed:

* One Jamaican man killed the other Jamaican man for the Jamaican
woman.
 
* The two Trinbago men and the Trinbago woman are living happily
together.

* The two Guyanese men have a strict weekly schedule of when they
alternate with the Guyanese woman.

* The two Bajan men are sleeping together, and the Bajan woman is
cooking and cleaning for them.

* The two Antiguan men took a long look at the endless ocean and a
long look at the Antiguan woman, and they started swimming.

* The two Chinese men are talking to all the other men on the island trying to sell them the Chinese woman.

* The 2 Indian men are still waiting for someone to introduce them
to the Indian woman

28
Jokes / dirty johnny
« on: July 25, 2006, 11:04:41 AM »

Pages: [1]
1]; } ?>