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Topics - Socafan

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1
Hope someone can answer here...

I just got the new Birth Certificate, but nowhere on it does it say my full name. It has my first and middle name at the spot for "Given Name(s)". Right below that at the spot for "Other name(s)" there is just a bunch of stars.

Both my parents names are listed on it with my last name. Is this how it is supposed to be?


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Entertainment & Culture Discussion / Petition for Pan
« on: February 07, 2011, 08:38:42 AM »
FROM "WHEN STEEL TALKS" WEBSITE

The Petition
To the Prime Minister & Government of Trinidad & Tobago. -

without prejudice -




We, the Steelpan Community of the world are calling on you to reverse your position taken against Pan
Trinbago, and the Pan Community of Trinidad & Tobago, for the 2011 Panorama competition.

Your election promises included an offer of $2 million TT to the winning band, however most recently your cabinet then voted to remove $200. TT from the $1000.TT performance fee currently paid to all Pan players for the preliminary round of Panorama.

The math is very simple for the world Pan Community to see:
You offered $2 million, but then took away $200 from 10,000 pan players - which is equivalent to ( $ 200 X 10,000 ) = $2 million.

The Pan was already getting $1million...so you really offered$1million.
You are offering $1million with one hand, and taking away $2 million with the other hand; therefore the math shows that in reality, you are taking away $1 million from the Pan Community in 2011
.

We are simply calling on your government to reverse this policy of taking away the $200 from the
people who need it the most; and restore the full $1000 TT to the people who play in the Preliminary
round of Panorama -- the hard working, mostly youths and mostly female, pan players of Trinidad & Tobago.

Remember the Government in the 60's diverted our young men from violence into music by putting more into the Steelband and arts, creating all that is now paying dividends for T&T.  We find it strange that now as our youth and country is devolving into another round of violence, this Government responds by adding to the distress of youth who areremaining on the positive. Instead, we should be expanding the potential of Steelband and the creative arts, and supporting youth to innovate and expand into new ideas for Steelband to offer to the world.

The following signatures are from nationals in the diaspora, along with the rest of the world who have adopted
the Steelpan, and also the local Pan Community of Trinidad & Tobago.

We thank you for your attention and time, and we request and trust you will do the right thing and correct this situation.

Link to the petition is below.

http://www.ipetitions.com/petition/nationals-and-steelpanlovers
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This particular issue has made me lose perspective with the current government, and I eh think ah getting it back. Regardless of how you feel about Pantrinbago this is nonsense. They are taking people for fools all around.

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And did your primary school have a team? Does any Primary school in TNT play football? Is there a league like SSFL?

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Jokes / It's the World Cup
« on: June 12, 2010, 10:02:38 PM »
A man had great tickets for the World Cup Final.
As he sits down,another man comes down and asks if anyone is sitting in the empty seat next to him.
"No," he says. "The seat is empty."
"This is incredible!" says the other man. "Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the World Cup Final, the biggest sporting event, and not use it?"
"Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. My wife was supposed to come with me, but she passed away. This is the first World Cup Final we haven't been to together since we got married."
"Oh ... I'm sorry to hear that. That's terrible. But couldn't you find someone else, a friend or relative, or even a neighbour to take the seat?"
The man shakes his head. "No. They're all at the funeral."

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 :devil:

So I home bored friday night, flicking through the channels, bounce up what look like some bess ting in panty and bra playing football (american football :devil:), in front ah crowded arena, with professional NFL sounding commentators and ah NFL like presentation. I was  transfixed, for some reason :devil:. Never knew such a sport existed. After every play, these ladies were aarrmm...putting dey body parts back inside dey clothes. WTF!!? No joke. During one timeout one of them was changing on the sidelines and dey had to hold up ah towel to block the view!!!!!!!Perfect forms were on exibition. I eh go lie, I cyar watch women's football...just can't, but this sport..........

I will support to the max!!!!! :P :P :wavetowel: :wavetowel:

Just had to post this here...mods allyuh could move it now.

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Jokes / Unisex Joke
« on: March 19, 2009, 08:42:03 PM »
A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods.
She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.
The frog said to her, 'If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes....ʼ
The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, 'Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes.

Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!'

The woman said, 'That's okay.'

For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world.

The frog warned her, 'You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will flock to'.

The woman replied, 'That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful Woman and he will have eyes only for me.'

So, KAZAM-she's the most beautiful Woman in the world!

For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.

The frog said, 'That will make your husband the richest man in the world .And he will be ten times richer than you..'

The woman said, 'That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's his is mine.'

So, KAZAM-she's the richest woman in the world!

The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, 'I'd like a mild heart attack.'

Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them.

Attention female readers: This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here and continue feeling good.

Male readers: Please scroll down.

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The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife

Moral of the story: Women think they're smart.


Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show

PS: If you are a woman and you are still reading this; it only goes to show that women just doh listen!!!

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Jokes / Parrot goes to church
« on: March 19, 2009, 08:33:17 PM »
A woman had a parrot that was real quiet so she took it with her everywhere she went. Except when she took the parrot to the club with her when she went partying on Saturday nights, whenever she went on the dance floor, the parrot would yell,

'The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire, we don't need no water-let the muthafukkah burn! Burn, muthafukkah, burn!'

The crowd on the dance floor would always cheer and holler in appreciation when the parrot would yell. This would make the parrot yell even more and of course make the crowd go wild.This would go on all night long, everytime the parrot went out.

One Sunday morning the woman took the parrot to church. When the choir started to sing, the parrot yelled, 'The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire, we don't need no water-let the muthafukkah Burn! Burn, muthafukkah, burn!

She embarrassingly corrected the Parrot, 'No, no, no, you do not say that when we're here!! 'The parrot looked around and asked,

'Why not? These are the same muthafukkahs from the club last night!!!

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Jokes / Catholic Parrots
« on: March 16, 2009, 07:43:12 AM »
A lady goes to her priest one day and tells him, 'Father, I have a problem.I have two female parrots, But they only know how to say one thing.'
     
'What do they say?' the priest inquired.
     
They say, 'Hi, we're hookers! Do you want to have some fun?'
   
That's obscene!' the priest exclaimed, Then he thought for a moment. 'You know,' he said,  'I may have a solution to your problem. I have two male talking parrots,   Which I have taught to pray and read the Bible.
Bring your two parrots over to my house,   And we'll put them in the cage with Francis and Peter.   

My parrots can teach your parrots to praise and worship,  And your parrots are sure to stop saying . . That phrase . . In no time.'
 
Thank you,' the woman responded,  'this may very well be the solution.'
 
The next day, She brought her female parrots to the priest's house. As he ushered her in, She saw that his two male parrots were inside their cage holding rosary beads and praying. 

Impressed, She walked over and placed her parrots in with them.

After a few minutes, The female parrots cried out in unison:  Hi, we're hookers! Do you want to have some fun?'
 
There was stunned silence.
   
Shocked, One male parrot looked over at the other male parrot and exclaimed,

'Put thebeads away, Frank.  Our prayers have been answered!
 

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Jokes / Not all progress is good
« on: May 07, 2008, 03:01:40 PM »
The husband leans over and asks his wife, 'Do you remember the first time we had sex together over - fifty years ago?'

'We went behind this very tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you.'

'Yes,' she says, 'I remember it well.'

'OK,' he says, 'How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?'

'Oh Jim, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy but good idea!'

A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and, having a chuckle to himself, he thinks to himself,
'I've got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence.'

I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble. So he follows them.

The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each other for support aided by walking sticks.

Finally, they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence.

The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers.

As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in.

Then suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the policeman has ever seen.

This goes on for about ten minutes while both are making loud noises and moaning and screaming. Finally, they both collapse, panting, on the ground.

The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life and old age that he didn't know.

After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on.

The Policeman, is still watching and thinks to himself, this is truly amazing, I've got to ask them what their secret is.

So, as the couple passes, he says to them, 'Excuse me, but that was something else. You must've had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to this?

Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply. 'Fifty years ago that wasn't an electric fence...

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Jokes / On affairs
« on: September 26, 2007, 09:05:04 PM »
A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day they went to her place and made love all
afternoon. Exhausted, they fell asleep and woke up at 8 PM.
The man hurriedly dressed and told his lover to take his shoes outside and rub them in the grass and dirt.
He put on his shoes and drove home.
Where have you been?" his wife demanded.
"I can't lie to you," he replied, 'I'm having an affair with my secretary. We had sex all afternoon."
She looked down at his shoes and said:
"You lying bastard! You've been playing golf!"

The 2nd Affair

A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters but always talked about having a son.
They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted.
The wife got pregnant and delivered a healthy baby boy.
The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son. He was horrified at the ugliest
child he had ever seen.
He told his wife: "There's no way I can be the father of this baby. Look at the two beautiful daughters I
fathered! Have you been fooling around behind my back?"
The wife smiled sweetly and replied: "Not this time!"

The 3rd Affair

A mortician was working late one night. He examined the body of Mr. Schwartz, about to be cremated,and made a startling discovery.
Schwartz had the largest private part he had ever seen! "I'm sorry Mr. Schwartz," the mortician commented, "I can't allow you to be cremated with such an impressive private part. It must be saved for posterity."
So, he removed it, stuffed it into his briefcase, and took it home.
"I have something to show that you won't believe," he said to his wife, opening his briefcase.
"My God!" the wife exclaimed, "Schwartz is dead!"

The 4th Affair

A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door.
"Hurry," she said, "stand in the corner."
She rubbed baby oil all over him, then dusted him with talcum powder.
"Don't move until I tell you," she said, "Pretend you're a statue."
"What's this?" the husband inquired as he entered the room.
"Oh it's a statue," she replied, "the Smiths bought one and I liked it so I got one for us, too."
No more was said, not even when they went to bed.
Around 2 AM the husband got up, went to the kitchen and returned with a sandwich and a beer.
"Here," he said to the statue, have this.
I stood like that for two days at the Smiths and nobody offered me a damned thing."

The 5th Affair

A man walked into a cafe, went to the bar and ordered a beer.
"Certainly, Sir, that'll be one cent."
 "One Cent?" the man exclaimed.
He glanced at the menu and asked: "How much for a nice juicy steak and a bottle of wine?"
"A nickel," the barman replied.
 "A nickel?" exclaimed the man. "Where's the guy who owns this place?"
 The bartender replied: "Upstairs, with my wife."
The man asked: "What's he doing upstairs with your wife?"
The bartender replied: "The same thing I'm doing to his business down here."

The 6th Affair

Jake was dying.
His wife sat at the bedside. He looked up and said weakly: "I have something I must confess."
 "There's no need to, "his wife replied.
 "No," he insisted, "I want to die in peace.
I slept with your sister,
your best friend,
her best friend,
and your mother!"
"I know," she replied,
"now just rest and let the poison work."


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Football / FUNDAMENTALS!!!!!!!!!
« on: June 09, 2007, 06:12:01 PM »
We seem to have a MAJOR problem with fundamentals...STILL!! We cannot trap as well as other teams and we definitely cannot pass. In fact our ability to make accurate passes is horrible. WHY IS THIS!!!?? And only Spann looks like an obvious professional kicker of the ball.

While I like the U-17 team, the bad passing is a major fault with them too. Why is this? Anybody know?

We will not progress in football until our players improve technically, no matter which big name coach we have. This Gold Cup side I see trying to play possession in offence, which was non-existant in the WC side, but bad passing and trapping constantly breaking down the plays.

I notice too a troubling lack of confidence when men have the ball at their feet. This from TNT!!! A team with a history of strictly individuals. Men refuse to go forward with the ball and go past a few men, and to tell you you the truth, it looks dangerous for them when they do. No nice one two's either. This I suspect is coming from the coach's methods, stifling individuality too much. He should work on that, or else he will never get the possession in attack he is looking for.

Anyway we have a problem with fundamentals. Something needs to be done. We waay behind other teams, even in the CFU.

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Jokes / Big shot Trini
« on: May 29, 2007, 01:04:21 PM »
Big shot Trini, Joe grow up in Barataria by Jumbee bridge, then went away to attend University and law school. Joe decide to come back to T&T because he feel he could be a BigShot home.
He really wanted to impress everyone.

So he come back and open he new law office on St Vincent Street by de big sawatees an dem.

The first day, he see a man coming up the passageway.Joe decide to play heself. He wanted to
create a big impression for this new prospective client when he arrived.
As the man came to the door Joe grab up the phone. He motioned the man in, all the while talking...

"No. Absolutely not!You tell those clowns in New York that I won't settle this case for less than one million!!Yes, the Supreme Court has agreed to hear that case next week.I'll be making the primary argument and the other members of my team will provide the necessary support."

He went on playing himself, "Okay, tell the DA that I'll meet with him next week to discuss the details."

This, "conversation" went on for almost five minutes. All this time the man sat patiently and quite unperturbed as Joe rattled off instructions filled with endless legal jargon.Finally, Joe put down de phone and turn to de man, "I'm sorry for the delay but as you can see, I'm very busy. What can I do for you?"

The man replied, "I'm from TSTT, the telephone company, I came to hookup your phone."

Lesson number 1... In trini, dey does hook up yuh phone AFTER yuh move, not BEFORE.

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Jokes / Emotional needs of a woman
« on: April 04, 2007, 05:51:19 AM »
One evening last week, my wife & I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."
 
I said "WHAT????!!! What was that?!" So she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads to hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."
She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep. The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed dept. store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'll just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went on to the jewelry dept. where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier".

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it." Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled WHAT???!!!"

I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for awhile.. You're just not enough in touch with my financial needs as a man for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either...

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Football / PRETTY FOOTBALL DOES NOT WIN GAMES!!!!!!!
« on: February 14, 2007, 09:24:15 AM »
For all those that sayin' Chivas have 20-30 passes!!!!? and one setah pretty flick and all ah dat and find that Chivas play oh so good, PRETTY BALL DOES NOT WIN GAMES!!! TOURNAMENTS NEITHER!!!

Ent TNT USED  to play one seta pretty ball? Ent we used to get wash regular by foreign teams? Ent we stop doing dat. We eh have no setta pretty ball now but suddenly we have a penchant fuh scoring goals. Ent!? Tell mi ah lie.

Man say last night Chivas underestimate we. Hell no. Dem Mexicans know all about TNT cause we tired buss dey ass "surprisingly". And always them wit dey "pretty ball".

What dem who talking about "pretty ball" doh know is that dey eh just playin' "pretty ball", dey playing "inefficient football". Brazil used to play like that too....ah loooong time ago. Dey doh play so anymore. We learn de hard way too.

The reason it does not work is because by the time pretty ball make 20-30 passes to reach goal THE WHOLE OF THE OPPOSITE TEAM HAVE TIME TO GET BACK AND DEFEND, so nothing has been accomplished. It will take another 20-30 passes to pass again the whole team, and STILL, no clear shot on goal. Pretty ball is small goal ting. Dem Mexicans perfect it, and is only dem does insist on it on ah big field nowadays.

Little old we with we players who "cyar string 3 passes together" could beat a pretty ball side ah  Mexicans, and it becoming regular now, with we 3 passes. Defender to midfielder, midfielder cross to forward, all dem Mexican Midfield and forward still up front, big open lanes to goal. SHOT...GOAL. Dais 2 passes.

Allyuh understand?

BIG UP W CONNECTION!!!

It might not be pretty but it speedy and effective

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Welcome to the HEX tenderfoot.

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Ah still feel it was premature, ah eh care wha so much ah allyuh say......we will see.

Ah hope this Beekhakker or whatever he name is could do with the team in 1 month what Bertille could not do in 1 year, and what de the rest of the HEX teams have spent the last 2 years doing.

Like I said before, PANAMA IS NOT A PUSHOVER SIDE! They have some skillful (what we call skillful) forwards that could tun Lawrence into ah idiot back dey. Dey does play with guts and determination. Just ask Mexico.

Ah hope Beenpakker make de team play TEAM ball. Thats all I want. I still believe this is the best team we have ever fielded despite the licks. Is jes to get dem clicking.

On to Panama!!!

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prior to the game on the radio, meantime St.Clair is giving press interviews that his job is not in jeopardy!!? ??? So St.Clair found out ......from people in the stands during the game possibly?

And the announcement was that St.Clair is to be replaced by "some English coach"? You mean its not finalized yet but current coach fired and we in the middle of WCQ?

Buh wha de ass is dis?

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 so allyuh say. This coaching change confirmed as yet?
Naturally some guy will come in and benefit from all ah Bertille hard work. You people realize that this is happening just when the team is starting to run ball?  Crazy Trinis. Going on two world cup campaigns now that we have changed coaches in the final round, midcampaign. Allyuh realize that too? Any other country in the world have that distinction?

At least if we eh reach world cup at least we have the World record in coach change.

So we expect some new person to come in and take us to the world cup in months. Thats better than St.Clair. Vieky vike, and Tinpot comes to mind.

And then this new fancy person comes in, we doh go world cup and $500,00.US later, people go say, well there wasn't enough time anyway.

jeez an ages man.

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against Costa Rica, THE CURRENT COACH MUST STAY. And probably will for the duration of the campaign. Thats probably in his contract anyway if he was smart.

 The TTFF bite de bullet and bring back Bertille after de last firing. If they fire him again now in the middle of this campaign, then I would believe that whole organization completely crazy. Doomed to repeat mistakes.You see the TTFF dug themselves a hole when he was fired last time seemingly without just cause. Now they can't fire him even if they wanted to. How it go look.... again!!!!!? Thats a jokey organization.

Bertille have to stay, not just to make TTFF look good, (well look not even worse), but his program has to be given its chance. Then if we don't make it, and we real close to that, we can close that book and say a final goodbye.

We have to see this program to the end. Then we must learn from it. That will be the true test.

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