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General Discussion / world's strictest parents
« on: October 30, 2011, 02:31:02 PM »
anyone have a link for the trinidad episode?
3
General Discussion / Trinidad embassy- really make yu feel like yu home
« on: January 28, 2011, 02:46:18 PM »
I try callin de friggin embassy today and after listening to de machine go on and on about de options only to find they eh have an option for what i what they decide to transfer me to 'someone who can help'
afta de blasted phone ring 2 times, a recording come up 'this mission is very busy at the moment, please leave yu name and number and we will get back to you asap' and then cut meh call.... wtf
de hard part was i call 2 days befor and leave all de info and still no call, was de ass goin on, i know is de trini embassy but yu eh have to treat me like i trying to call a f%^king government office back home.
i so vex i forget is de embassy in london
afta de blasted phone ring 2 times, a recording come up 'this mission is very busy at the moment, please leave yu name and number and we will get back to you asap' and then cut meh call.... wtf
de hard part was i call 2 days befor and leave all de info and still no call, was de ass goin on, i know is de trini embassy but yu eh have to treat me like i trying to call a f%^king government office back home.
i so vex i forget is de embassy in london
4
Hi there my friends hope you are having a wonderful day. Here is the new tax code in Trinidad
2009 Tax Code
The only thing that the Inland Revenue has not taxed yet is the male penis.
This is due to the fact that 69% of the time it is hanging around unemployed, 10% of the time it is hard up, 20% of the time it is pissed off,1% of the time it is in a hole. On top of that, it has two dependents and they are both nuts!
HOWEVER, effective January 1st, 2009, the penis will now be taxed according to size:
The brackets are as follows:
10" - 12"
Luxury Tax
£ 300.00
8" - 10"
Pole Tax
£ 250.00
5" - 8"
Privilege Tax
£ 150.00
3" - 5"
Nuisance Tax
£ 30.00
Males exceeding 12" must file capital gains.
Anyone under 3" is eligible for a tax refund.
2009 Tax Code
The only thing that the Inland Revenue has not taxed yet is the male penis.
This is due to the fact that 69% of the time it is hanging around unemployed, 10% of the time it is hard up, 20% of the time it is pissed off,1% of the time it is in a hole. On top of that, it has two dependents and they are both nuts!
HOWEVER, effective January 1st, 2009, the penis will now be taxed according to size:
The brackets are as follows:
10" - 12"
Luxury Tax
£ 300.00
8" - 10"
Pole Tax
£ 250.00
5" - 8"
Privilege Tax
£ 150.00
3" - 5"
Nuisance Tax
£ 30.00
Males exceeding 12" must file capital gains.
Anyone under 3" is eligible for a tax refund.
5
General Discussion / trini movie
« on: August 29, 2008, 02:01:19 PM »
anyone have a link for the movie men in gray? i think thats the name, it was supposed to be in 90.
dats de one where de lotto man jordon i think acted as a police
thanks
dats de one where de lotto man jordon i think acted as a police
thanks
6
General Discussion / UK based
« on: February 26, 2008, 09:07:41 AM »
what are some nice spots in west and east london to chill with trinis? what the temp right now
7
Football / FA cup on C right now
« on: December 15, 2007, 03:23:34 PM »
still in the first 1/2 for anyone that wanna see how it went
8
Jokes / late election joke
« on: December 08, 2007, 05:18:42 PM »whats the difference between a bike and COP
a bike has a seat
sorry if it was posted befor
9
Football / san juan news
« on: November 03, 2007, 08:11:17 AM »
they are supposed to be playin a brazil school team on the 14th nov at mocoya,
and mid next yr they ar supposed to be in FL, playin a school football comp. i think it was from schools from all over commin for it there.
manners supposed to be goin back with jah at the end of the season.
all this info was goven by players on the team and they siad it was all set
we doin big things for we players
and mid next yr they ar supposed to be in FL, playin a school football comp. i think it was from schools from all over commin for it there.
manners supposed to be goin back with jah at the end of the season.
all this info was goven by players on the team and they siad it was all set
we doin big things for we players
11
Football / manners back in ssfl
« on: October 03, 2007, 06:56:52 PM »
manners 'lala' played for san juan today and he scored on his return, he decided to do into lower 6 instead of playin reserve for jab, haven`t spoken to m as yet but was told that one he does a`s he`ll go on a schol, so happy for him,
oh san juan won today 3-0 at eldo, lala, zulu and selbie
oh san juan won today 3-0 at eldo, lala, zulu and selbie
12
Jokes / True tings brit
« on: September 28, 2007, 08:49:43 PM »
A Somali arrives in London as a new immigrant to England.
He stops the first person he sees walking down the street and says, 'Thank
you Mr. Englishman for letting me in this country, giving me free housing,
free food stamps,
free medical care,free education and all wonderful social monetary
benefits!'
The passerby says, 'You are mistaken, I am polish.'
The man goes on and encounters another passerby. 'Thank you for having such
a beautiful country here in England!'
The person says, 'I not English, I am from Croatia.
The new arrival walks further, and the next person he sees he stops, shakes
his hand and says, 'Thank you for the wonderful England!'
That person puts up his hand and says, 'I am from Iran, I am not English!'
He finally sees a nice lady and asks, 'Are you an English?'
She says, 'No, I am from Iraq!'
Puzzled, he asks her, 'Where are all the English people?'
The Iraq lady checks her watch and says.... 'Probably at work.'
He stops the first person he sees walking down the street and says, 'Thank
you Mr. Englishman for letting me in this country, giving me free housing,
free food stamps,
free medical care,free education and all wonderful social monetary
benefits!'
The passerby says, 'You are mistaken, I am polish.'
The man goes on and encounters another passerby. 'Thank you for having such
a beautiful country here in England!'
The person says, 'I not English, I am from Croatia.
The new arrival walks further, and the next person he sees he stops, shakes
his hand and says, 'Thank you for the wonderful England!'
That person puts up his hand and says, 'I am from Iran, I am not English!'
He finally sees a nice lady and asks, 'Are you an English?'
She says, 'No, I am from Iraq!'
Puzzled, he asks her, 'Where are all the English people?'
The Iraq lady checks her watch and says.... 'Probably at work.'
13
Jokes / Kingston Lawyer and Country policeman
« on: September 28, 2007, 08:47:37 PM »
The Kingston Lawyer and The country Policeman
A lawyer runs a stop sign in Portland and gets pulled over
by the Police. He thinks that he is smarter than the police
because he is a lawyer from Kingston and is certain that he
has a better education than any Jamaican Police. He decides
to prove this to himself and have some fun at the Police
expense.
The Police says,' Yuh License an yuh registration, please.'
'What for?' says the lawyer.
The Police says, 'Yuh didn't come to a complete stop at
de stop sign.'
Then the lawyer says, 'I slowed down, and no one was
coming.'
'Yuh neva did come to a complete stop, Says the Police.
License an registration, please.'
The lawyer says, 'What's the difference?'
'De difference is dat yuh hav fe come to ah complete stop
- dat's de law. License an registration, please!' the
Police says.
The Lawyer says, 'If you can show me the legal difference
between slow down and stop, I'll give you my license and
registration and you give me the ticket. If not, you let me
go and don't give me ah ticket.' That sounds fair.
Get yuh rass outa de vehicle, sar, the Police says.
At this point, the Police drape up de man, pull out his
batton and starts beating the ever-loving hell out of the
lawyer and says, 'Yuh waan me fe stop, ar just slow down?'
A lawyer runs a stop sign in Portland and gets pulled over
by the Police. He thinks that he is smarter than the police
because he is a lawyer from Kingston and is certain that he
has a better education than any Jamaican Police. He decides
to prove this to himself and have some fun at the Police
expense.
The Police says,' Yuh License an yuh registration, please.'
'What for?' says the lawyer.
The Police says, 'Yuh didn't come to a complete stop at
de stop sign.'
Then the lawyer says, 'I slowed down, and no one was
coming.'
'Yuh neva did come to a complete stop, Says the Police.
License an registration, please.'
The lawyer says, 'What's the difference?'
'De difference is dat yuh hav fe come to ah complete stop
- dat's de law. License an registration, please!' the
Police says.
The Lawyer says, 'If you can show me the legal difference
between slow down and stop, I'll give you my license and
registration and you give me the ticket. If not, you let me
go and don't give me ah ticket.' That sounds fair.
Get yuh rass outa de vehicle, sar, the Police says.
At this point, the Police drape up de man, pull out his
batton and starts beating the ever-loving hell out of the
lawyer and says, 'Yuh waan me fe stop, ar just slow down?'
14
Jokes / Stuff you probably didn't know and probably don't want to!
« on: September 21, 2007, 08:17:31 PM »
1. A rat can last longer without water than a camel.
2. Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every two weeks or it will digest itself.
3. The dot over the letter "i" is called a tittle.
4. A raisin dropped in a glass of fresh champagne will bounce up and down continuously from the bottom of the glass to the top.
5. A female ferret will die if it goes into heat and cannot find a mate.
6. Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying.
7. A 2 X 4 is really 1-1/2" by 3-1/2".
8. During the chariot scene in "Ben Hur," a small red car can be seen in the distance (and Heston's wearing a watch).
9. On average, 12 newborns will be given to the wrong parents daily! (That explains a few mysteries....)
10. Sherlock Holmes NEVER said, "Elementary, my dear Watson."
11. Because metal was scarce, the Oscars given out during World War II were made of wood.
12. The number of possible ways of playing the first four moves per side in a game of chess is 318,979,564,000.
13. There are no words in the dictionary that rhyme with orange, purple and silver.
14. Astronauts are not allowed to eat beans before they go into space because passing wind in a spacesuit damages them.
15. The very first bomb dropped by the Allies on Berlin in World War II killed the only elephant in the Berlin Zoo.
16. Weatherman Willard Scott was the first Ronald McDonald.
17. If one places a tiny amount of liquor on a scorpion, it will instantly go mad and sting itself to death. (Who was the sadist who discovered this??)
18. Bruce Lee was so fast that they actually had to s-l-o-w film down so you could see his moves.
19. The first CD pressed in the US was Bruce Springsteen's "Born in the USA."
20. The original name for butterfly was flutterby.
21. The phrase "rule of thumb" is derived from an old English law which stated that you couldn't beat your wife with anything wider than your thumb.
22. The first product Motorola started to develop was a record player for automobiles. At that time, the most known player on the market was Victrola, so they called themselves Motorola.
23. Roses may be red, but violets are indeed violet.
24. By raising your legs slowly and lying on your back, you cannot sink into quicksand.
25. Celery has negative calories. It takes more calories to eat a piece of celery than the celery has in it to begin with.
26. Charlie Chaplin once won third prize in a Charlie Chaplin look-alike contest.
27. An old law in Bellingham, Washington, made it illegal for a woman to take more than three steps backwards while dancing!
28. The Guinness Book of Records holds the record for being the book most often stolen from public libraries.
29. The glue on Israeli postage is certified kosher.
30. Bats always turn left when exiting a cave!
31. The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV were Fred and Wilma Flintstone.
32. Men can read smaller print then women can; women can hear better.
33. It is impossible to lick your elbow.
34. The State with the highest percentage of people who walk to work: Alaska
35. The average number of people airborne over the US any given hour: 61,000
36. Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.
37. The first novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom Sawyer.
38. The San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile National Monuments.
39. 111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321
40. Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history:
Spades - King David
Hearts - Charlemagne
Clubs -Alexander, the Great
Diamonds - Julius Caesar
41. If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front leg in the air the person died as a result of wounds received in battle. If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.
42. Q. Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of what?
A. Their birthplace.
43. Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until you would find the letter "A"?
A. One thousand
44. Q. What do bullet-proof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers, and laser printers all have in common?
A. All invented by women.
45. Q. What is the only food that doesn't spoil?
A. Honey
46. In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes. When you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on. Hence the phrase......... "goodnight, sleep tight."
47. It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the honey month, which we know today as the "honeymoon".
48. In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts... So in old England, when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them, "Mind your pints and quarts, and settle down. It's where we get the phrase "mind your P's and Q's"
49. Many years ago in England, pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the rim, or handle, of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill, they used the whistle to get some service. "Wet your whistle" is the phrase inspired by this practice.
~~~~AND FINALLY~~~~~~~~~~~~
50. At least 75% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow.
------------------------------------------------------------
2. Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every two weeks or it will digest itself.
3. The dot over the letter "i" is called a tittle.
4. A raisin dropped in a glass of fresh champagne will bounce up and down continuously from the bottom of the glass to the top.
5. A female ferret will die if it goes into heat and cannot find a mate.
6. Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying.
7. A 2 X 4 is really 1-1/2" by 3-1/2".
8. During the chariot scene in "Ben Hur," a small red car can be seen in the distance (and Heston's wearing a watch).
9. On average, 12 newborns will be given to the wrong parents daily! (That explains a few mysteries....)
10. Sherlock Holmes NEVER said, "Elementary, my dear Watson."
11. Because metal was scarce, the Oscars given out during World War II were made of wood.
12. The number of possible ways of playing the first four moves per side in a game of chess is 318,979,564,000.
13. There are no words in the dictionary that rhyme with orange, purple and silver.
14. Astronauts are not allowed to eat beans before they go into space because passing wind in a spacesuit damages them.
15. The very first bomb dropped by the Allies on Berlin in World War II killed the only elephant in the Berlin Zoo.
16. Weatherman Willard Scott was the first Ronald McDonald.
17. If one places a tiny amount of liquor on a scorpion, it will instantly go mad and sting itself to death. (Who was the sadist who discovered this??)
18. Bruce Lee was so fast that they actually had to s-l-o-w film down so you could see his moves.
19. The first CD pressed in the US was Bruce Springsteen's "Born in the USA."
20. The original name for butterfly was flutterby.
21. The phrase "rule of thumb" is derived from an old English law which stated that you couldn't beat your wife with anything wider than your thumb.
22. The first product Motorola started to develop was a record player for automobiles. At that time, the most known player on the market was Victrola, so they called themselves Motorola.
23. Roses may be red, but violets are indeed violet.
24. By raising your legs slowly and lying on your back, you cannot sink into quicksand.
25. Celery has negative calories. It takes more calories to eat a piece of celery than the celery has in it to begin with.
26. Charlie Chaplin once won third prize in a Charlie Chaplin look-alike contest.
27. An old law in Bellingham, Washington, made it illegal for a woman to take more than three steps backwards while dancing!
28. The Guinness Book of Records holds the record for being the book most often stolen from public libraries.
29. The glue on Israeli postage is certified kosher.
30. Bats always turn left when exiting a cave!
31. The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV were Fred and Wilma Flintstone.
32. Men can read smaller print then women can; women can hear better.
33. It is impossible to lick your elbow.
34. The State with the highest percentage of people who walk to work: Alaska
35. The average number of people airborne over the US any given hour: 61,000
36. Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.
37. The first novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom Sawyer.
38. The San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile National Monuments.
39. 111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321
40. Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history:
Spades - King David
Hearts - Charlemagne
Clubs -Alexander, the Great
Diamonds - Julius Caesar
41. If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front leg in the air the person died as a result of wounds received in battle. If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.
42. Q. Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of what?
A. Their birthplace.
43. Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until you would find the letter "A"?
A. One thousand
44. Q. What do bullet-proof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers, and laser printers all have in common?
A. All invented by women.
45. Q. What is the only food that doesn't spoil?
A. Honey
46. In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes. When you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on. Hence the phrase......... "goodnight, sleep tight."
47. It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the honey month, which we know today as the "honeymoon".
48. In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts... So in old England, when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them, "Mind your pints and quarts, and settle down. It's where we get the phrase "mind your P's and Q's"
49. Many years ago in England, pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the rim, or handle, of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill, they used the whistle to get some service. "Wet your whistle" is the phrase inspired by this practice.
~~~~AND FINALLY~~~~~~~~~~~~
50. At least 75% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow.
------------------------------------------------------------
15
Football / malabar out intercol?
« on: September 20, 2007, 08:02:55 PM »
anyone heard anything about it, was told they were playin guys that don`t attend the school, so i think all teams that have to play em for the rest of the season gets +3 goals
oh i was lookin for the tigers thread btu didn`t find it, but i take in degame at moka yest. honestly not realy impressed de #7 look ok, and he scored a bueaty mins after missin a sitter. #17 de national guy ( don`t know his name) he have skill but for me the guy lazy not gettin back to help his right back, and the #10 for de moka boys look good, but a lil to small,
i think touches said that is he ole school, boy teach them fellars how to beat drums na, imagne dem on top and ain`t even makin a lil mass
oh i was lookin for the tigers thread btu didn`t find it, but i take in degame at moka yest. honestly not realy impressed de #7 look ok, and he scored a bueaty mins after missin a sitter. #17 de national guy ( don`t know his name) he have skill but for me the guy lazy not gettin back to help his right back, and the #10 for de moka boys look good, but a lil to small,
i think touches said that is he ole school, boy teach them fellars how to beat drums na, imagne dem on top and ain`t even makin a lil mass
17
Football / info on the under 17?
« on: June 12, 2007, 06:01:15 PM »
not sure if theres a thread for this already or even if theres are games on. been kinda busy so not undated
are there games onthis thurs and sat? heard about it but not certain, if so where and what time.
thanks
are there games onthis thurs and sat? heard about it but not certain, if so where and what time.
thanks
18
Jokes / Haven't we all been there?!!
« on: May 18, 2007, 04:52:04 PM »
I was having trouble with my computer so I called Harold, the computer guy, to come over. Harold clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem. He gave me a bill for a minimum service call.
As he was walking away, I called after him, "So, what was wrong?"
He replied, "It was an ID ten T error."
I didn't want to appear stupid, but I nonetheless inquired, "An, ID ten T error? What's that .. in case I need to fix it again?"
Harold grinned.... "Haven't you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?"
"No," I replied.
"Write it down," he said, "and I think you'll figure it out."
So I wrote it down…
I D 1 0 T
I used to like Harold
As he was walking away, I called after him, "So, what was wrong?"
He replied, "It was an ID ten T error."
I didn't want to appear stupid, but I nonetheless inquired, "An, ID ten T error? What's that .. in case I need to fix it again?"
Harold grinned.... "Haven't you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?"
"No," I replied.
"Write it down," he said, "and I think you'll figure it out."
So I wrote it down…
I D 1 0 T
I used to like Harold
19
Jokes / test your brains
« on: May 18, 2007, 04:49:41 PM »New test for Dementia
Below are four (4) questions and a bonus question. You have to answer them instantly. You can't take your time, answer all of them immediately. OK?
Let's find out just how clever you really are....
Ready? GO!!! (scroll down)
First Question:
You are participating in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<
Answer: If you answered that you are first, then you are absolutely wrong! If you overtake the second person and you take his place, you are second!
Try not to screw up next time. Now answer the second question, but don't take as much time as you took for the first question, OK?
Second Question:
If you overtake the last person, then you are...? (scroll down)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Answer: If you answered that you are second to last, then you are wrong again. Tell me, how can you overtake the LAST person?
You're not very good at this, are you?
Third Question:
Very tricky arithmetic! Note: This must be done in your head only. Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator. Try it.
Ta ke 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000 . Now add 30. Add another 1000. Now add 20. Now add another 1000. Now add 10. What is the total?
Scroll down for answer.....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~
Did you get 5000?
The correct answer is actually 4100.
If you don't believe it, check it with a calculator! Today is definitely not your day, is it? Maybe you'll get the last question right... Maybe.
Fourth Question:
Mary's father has five daughters: 1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3. Nini, 4. Nono. What is the name of the fifth daughter?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Did you Answer Nunu? NO! Of course it isn't.
Her name is Mary. Read the question again!
Okay, now the bonus round:
A mute person goes into a shop and wants to buy a toothbrush... By imitating the action of brushing his teeth he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is done.
Next, a blind man comes into the shop who wants to buy a pair of sunglasses; how does HE indicate what he wants?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
He just has to open his mouth and ask...
It's really very simple.
20
Jokes / who is the dumb one now ?
« on: May 18, 2007, 04:41:45 PM »A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer,
"This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you."
The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other,
then calls the boy over and asks, "Which do you want, son?"
The boy takes the quarters and leaves.
"What did I tell you?" said the barber. "That kid never learns!"
Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store.
"Hey, son! May I ask you a question?
Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?"
The boy licked his cone and replied,
"Because the day I take the dollar, the game's over!"
21
Jokes / Management course - Hope u learn from it
« on: May 18, 2007, 04:37:57 PM »
LESSON #1:
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her
shower when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a
towel and runs downstairs.
When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor.
Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800.00 to drop that
towel."
After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked
in front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800.00 and leaves.
The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she
gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?"
"It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies.
"Great!" the husband says, "did he say anything about the $800.00 he
owes me?"
Moral of the story : If you share critical information pertaining to
credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position
to prevent avoidable exposure
LESSON #2:
A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing
her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After
controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.
The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest removed his hand.
But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun
once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"
The priest apologized "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak." Arriving at
the convent, the nun went on her way.
On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It
said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory."
Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, you might
miss a great opportunity
LESSON #3:
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to
lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes
out. The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish."
"Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to be in the
Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world."
Puff! She's gone.
"Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii,
relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of
Pina Coladas and the love of my life."
Puff! He's gone.
"OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, "I
want those two back in the office after lunch."
Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say.
LESSON #4:
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit
saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing?"
The eagle answered: "Sure, why not."
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a
sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting
very, very high up
LESSON #5:
A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to
the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the
energy."
"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull.
They're packed with nutrients."
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him
enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day,
after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after
a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.
He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.
Moral of the story: Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep
you there.
LESSON #6:
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird
froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying
there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to
realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay
there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following
the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and
promptly dug him out and ate him.
Moral of the story:
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend
(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!
This ends the 3-minute management course.
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her
shower when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a
towel and runs downstairs.
When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor.
Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800.00 to drop that
towel."
After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked
in front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800.00 and leaves.
The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she
gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?"
"It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies.
"Great!" the husband says, "did he say anything about the $800.00 he
owes me?"
Moral of the story : If you share critical information pertaining to
credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position
to prevent avoidable exposure
LESSON #2:
A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing
her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After
controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.
The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest removed his hand.
But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun
once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"
The priest apologized "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak." Arriving at
the convent, the nun went on her way.
On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It
said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory."
Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, you might
miss a great opportunity
LESSON #3:
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to
lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes
out. The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish."
"Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to be in the
Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world."
Puff! She's gone.
"Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii,
relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of
Pina Coladas and the love of my life."
Puff! He's gone.
"OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, "I
want those two back in the office after lunch."
Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say.
LESSON #4:
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit
saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing?"
The eagle answered: "Sure, why not."
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a
sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting
very, very high up
LESSON #5:
A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to
the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the
energy."
"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull.
They're packed with nutrients."
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him
enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day,
after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after
a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.
He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.
Moral of the story: Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep
you there.
LESSON #6:
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird
froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying
there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to
realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay
there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following
the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and
promptly dug him out and ate him.
Moral of the story:
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend
(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!
This ends the 3-minute management course.
22
i wonder how many ppl enev know that our under 17 boys r on the brink of WC. wonder if there will be a hero and allow us so see it on tv or even listen to it. wonder if there is gonna be a charter plane seein it`s just in our yard wonder if any ppl other that parents will be there makin mass when ja have the entire nation, somebody try and help we out na don`t let it be like fri ngiht when we can`t even get a score durin the game
show de yardies who is king ah de caribbean
show de yardies who is king ah de caribbean
23
General Discussion / Interesting things about Iraq....
« on: February 14, 2007, 03:10:16 PM »
VERY INTERESTING-
1. The Garden of Eden was in Iraq .
2. Mesopotamia, which is now Iraq, was the cradle of civilization!
3. Noah built the ark in Iraq .
4. The Tower of Babel was in Iraq
5. Abraham was from Ur, which is in Southern Iraq!
6. Isaac's wife Rebekah is from Nahor, which is in Iraq !
7. Jacob met Rachel in Iraq .
8. Jonah preached in Nineveh - which is in Iraq .
9. Assyria, which is in Iraq, conquered the ten tribes of Israel .
10. Amos cried out in Iraq !
11. Babylon, which is in Iraq, destroyed Jerusalem.
12. Daniel was! in the lion's den in Iraq !
13. The three Hebrew children were in the fire in Iraq (Jesus had been in Iraq also as the fourth person in the
Fiery furnace!)
14. Belshazzar, the King of Babylon saw the "writing on the wall" in Iraq .
15. Nebuchadnezzar, King of Babylon, carried the Jews captive into Iraq .
16. Ezekiel preached in I raq.
17. The wise men were from Iraq
18. Peter preached in Iraq .
19. The "Empire of Man" described in Revelation is called Babylon, which was a city in Iraq !
And you have probably seen this one. Israel is the nation most often mentioned in the Bible. But do you know which nation is second? It is Iraq ! However, that is not the name that is used in the Bible The names used in the Bible are Babylon, Land of Shinar , and Mesopotamia . The word Mesopotamia means between the two rivers, more exactly between the Tigris and Euphrates Rivers The name Iraq , means country with deep roots.
Indeed Iraq is a country with deep roots and is a very significant country in the Bible.
No other nation, except Israel , has more history and prophecy associated it than Iraq .
And also, This is something to think about! Since America is typically represented by an eagle. Saddam should have read up on his Muslim passages...
The following verse is from the Koran, (the Islamic Bible)
Koran (9:11 ) - For it is written that a son of Arabia would awaken a fearsome Eagle. The wrath of the Eagle would be felt throughout the lands of Allah and lo, while some of the people trembled in despair still more rejoiced; for the wrath of the Eagle cleansed the lands of Allah; and there was peace.
(Note the verse number!) Hmmmmmmm?!
1. The Garden of Eden was in Iraq .
2. Mesopotamia, which is now Iraq, was the cradle of civilization!
3. Noah built the ark in Iraq .
4. The Tower of Babel was in Iraq
5. Abraham was from Ur, which is in Southern Iraq!
6. Isaac's wife Rebekah is from Nahor, which is in Iraq !
7. Jacob met Rachel in Iraq .
8. Jonah preached in Nineveh - which is in Iraq .
9. Assyria, which is in Iraq, conquered the ten tribes of Israel .
10. Amos cried out in Iraq !
11. Babylon, which is in Iraq, destroyed Jerusalem.
12. Daniel was! in the lion's den in Iraq !
13. The three Hebrew children were in the fire in Iraq (Jesus had been in Iraq also as the fourth person in the
Fiery furnace!)
14. Belshazzar, the King of Babylon saw the "writing on the wall" in Iraq .
15. Nebuchadnezzar, King of Babylon, carried the Jews captive into Iraq .
16. Ezekiel preached in I raq.
17. The wise men were from Iraq
18. Peter preached in Iraq .
19. The "Empire of Man" described in Revelation is called Babylon, which was a city in Iraq !
And you have probably seen this one. Israel is the nation most often mentioned in the Bible. But do you know which nation is second? It is Iraq ! However, that is not the name that is used in the Bible The names used in the Bible are Babylon, Land of Shinar , and Mesopotamia . The word Mesopotamia means between the two rivers, more exactly between the Tigris and Euphrates Rivers The name Iraq , means country with deep roots.
Indeed Iraq is a country with deep roots and is a very significant country in the Bible.
No other nation, except Israel , has more history and prophecy associated it than Iraq .
And also, This is something to think about! Since America is typically represented by an eagle. Saddam should have read up on his Muslim passages...
The following verse is from the Koran, (the Islamic Bible)
Koran (9:11 ) - For it is written that a son of Arabia would awaken a fearsome Eagle. The wrath of the Eagle would be felt throughout the lands of Allah and lo, while some of the people trembled in despair still more rejoiced; for the wrath of the Eagle cleansed the lands of Allah; and there was peace.
(Note the verse number!) Hmmmmmmm?!
24
Entertainment & Culture Discussion / a lil help
« on: January 21, 2007, 11:29:35 AM »
anybody have a link for tube bicycle wine, i have a friend commin from england and she wanna see it befor she gets here
also where can i get a local Recipe book
also where can i get a local Recipe book
25
Football / game at uwi today
« on: December 23, 2006, 07:44:02 PM »
not sure if there is already one about this if so hard luck
anyone was at the game at uwi where sanjuan (along with a few other ssfl players) played a team, not sure if it was the team thats trainin right now, but i know for sure tiger played
the game ended 4-4, but not sure about the report so if anyone was there. lets hear it na
anyone was at the game at uwi where sanjuan (along with a few other ssfl players) played a team, not sure if it was the team thats trainin right now, but i know for sure tiger played
the game ended 4-4, but not sure about the report so if anyone was there. lets hear it na
27
Football / Masters tournament involving the Strike Squad
« on: November 13, 2006, 03:28:35 PM »
anyone heard about the comp involving the strike squad, it was supposed to be some masters thing, i think the finals was supposed to be last weekend, and the SS was supposed to play in it?
anyone know how it went?
anyone know how it went?
28
Football / where de east men
« on: November 05, 2006, 12:05:44 PM » it seems dat only men from south and north does be lettin ppl know where de from, so east men let yuhself be heard, gustine win and it hardly have men enjoyin itso lemme hear u
eldo man here, but i does back san juan ( dat meh home)
afta that is any team from east
next
29
Jokes / now finally i have an excuse
« on: June 17, 2006, 09:25:06 PM »
To those of us who have children in our lives,
whether they are our own,
grandchildren,
nieces,
nephews,
or students...
here is something to make you chuckle.
Whenever your children are out of control,
you can take comfort from the thought that
even God's omnipotence did not extend
to His own children.
After creating heaven and earth,
God created Adam and Eve.
And the first thing he said was
"DON'T ! "
"Don't what? "
Adam replied.
"Don't eat the forbidden fruit."
God said.
"Forbidden fruit?
We have forbidden fruit?
Hey Eve..we have forbidden fruit! "
"No Way! "
"Yes way! "
"Do NOT eat the fruit! "
said God.
"Why ? "
"Because I am your Father and I said so! "
God replied,
wondering why He hadn't stopped
creation after making the elephants.
A few minutes later,
God saw His children having an apple break
and He was ticked!
"Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit? "
God asked.
"Uh huh,"
Adam replied.
"Then why did you? "
said the Father.
"I don't know,"
said Eve.
"She started it! "
Adam said.
"Did not! "
"Did too! "
"DID NOT! "
Having had it with the two of them,
God's punishment was that Adam and Eve
should have children of their own.
Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed..
BUT THERE IS REASSURANCE IN THE STORY!
If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and they haven't taken it,
don't be hard on yourself.
If God had trouble raising children,
what makes you think it would be
a piece of cake for you?
THINGS TO THINK ABOUT!
1. You spend the first two years of their life
teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend
the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up.
2. Grandchildren are God's reward
for not killing your own children.
3. Mothers of teens now know why
some animals eat their young.
4. Children seldom misquote you.
In fact,
they usually repeat word for word
what you shouldn't have said.
5. The main purpose of holding children's parties
is to remind yourself that there are children
more awful than your own.
6. We childproofed our homes,
but they are still getting in.
whether they are our own,
grandchildren,
nieces,
nephews,
or students...
here is something to make you chuckle.
Whenever your children are out of control,
you can take comfort from the thought that
even God's omnipotence did not extend
to His own children.
After creating heaven and earth,
God created Adam and Eve.
And the first thing he said was
"DON'T ! "
"Don't what? "
Adam replied.
"Don't eat the forbidden fruit."
God said.
"Forbidden fruit?
We have forbidden fruit?
Hey Eve..we have forbidden fruit! "
"No Way! "
"Yes way! "
"Do NOT eat the fruit! "
said God.
"Why ? "
"Because I am your Father and I said so! "
God replied,
wondering why He hadn't stopped
creation after making the elephants.
A few minutes later,
God saw His children having an apple break
and He was ticked!
"Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit? "
God asked.
"Uh huh,"
Adam replied.
"Then why did you? "
said the Father.
"I don't know,"
said Eve.
"She started it! "
Adam said.
"Did not! "
"Did too! "
"DID NOT! "
Having had it with the two of them,
God's punishment was that Adam and Eve
should have children of their own.
Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed..
BUT THERE IS REASSURANCE IN THE STORY!
If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and they haven't taken it,
don't be hard on yourself.
If God had trouble raising children,
what makes you think it would be
a piece of cake for you?
THINGS TO THINK ABOUT!
1. You spend the first two years of their life
teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend
the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up.
2. Grandchildren are God's reward
for not killing your own children.
3. Mothers of teens now know why
some animals eat their young.
4. Children seldom misquote you.
In fact,
they usually repeat word for word
what you shouldn't have said.
5. The main purpose of holding children's parties
is to remind yourself that there are children
more awful than your own.
6. We childproofed our homes,
but they are still getting in.
30
Football / a lil help needed
« on: June 17, 2006, 09:14:21 PM »
anybody know what the times for the games on tv 6 gonna be on tuesday? since there`s gonna be for games, and just heard on fox, that the england game is 5 hrs after the germany game (9am), so is it that we r both playin at the same time ( the teams in group b)
thanks for any kinda help
thanks for any kinda help
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