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Topics - real madness

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31
What about Track & Field / Aaron Armstrong under financial pressure
« on: July 12, 2006, 11:43:44 PM »
'Honour your promise'

Aaron Armstrong under financial pressure, says dad

Kwame Laurence klaurence@trinidadexpress.com


Thursday, July 13th 2006

 
 
 "Aaron is down, very down. I had to encourage him to keep fighting... to attend the CAC Games in Colombia."

Ainsley Armstrong, father of national 200 metres champion Aaron Armstrong, is "calling on the authorities to honour their verbal agreement" to provide his son with financial assistance.

"Since making the national team for the 2005 World Championships in Helsinki, Finland, he was promised money from the elite athlete assistance programme. He never got a cent, and continues to get promises that 'the money is coming'.

"Aaron could have gone to Europe to run on the circuit," the elder Armstrong continued, "but his schedule is for national duty... track is his job, but he isn't making any money.

"He has given up about US$40,000 since he started running for the country. I do want to say though that he's grateful for the assistance he got from the TTOC (Trinidad and Tobago Olympic Committee) for the Commonwealth Games, and he'll get help for CAC as well."

Ainsley, a top T&T sprinter in the 1970s, told the Daily Express Aaron is having difficulty sustaining himself.

"He has coaches to pay, medical expenses. And it's the same thing with Kevon Pierre. He has also been promised assistance, but has not received any money."

Pierre ran the lead-off leg for T&T in the men's 4x100m relay at the World Championships last year. He combined with Marc Burns, Jacey Harper and Darrel Brown for silver in 38.10 seconds, a new national record.

The younger Armstrong was born in the United States, but opted to represent the land of his father's birth. Kerron Clement, on the other hand, was born in T&T but chose to compete for the US. Clement is at the top of the 2006 performance list in the men's 400m hurdles at 47.39 seconds.

"If shown some encouragement," Ainsley declared, "there are athletes out in the US who would run for T&T. There'll be another Clement coming up, another Armstrong coming up."
 

32
Jokes / Leroy at the white party
« on: July 04, 2006, 05:34:10 PM »
A rich white man threw a party and invited all of his buddies and neighbors, including Leroy, the only black guy in the neighborhood. He held the party around the pool in the backyard of his mansion. Everyone was having a good time drinking, dancing, eating BBQ and flirting with the women.

 At the height of the party, the host said, "I came home from a business trip and I found a 10 foot alligator got in my pool and I can't find anybody who will come and take him away. I'd give a million dollars to anyone who would do the job!" The words were barely out of his mouth when there was a loud splash and everyone turned around and saw Leroy in the pool!

Leroy was fighting the gator and kicking its ass! He was jabbing it in the eyes with his thumbs, throwing punches, head butts and chokeholds, biting the gator on the tail and flipping it through the air like some kind of Kung-Fu master. The water was churning and splashing in the struggle. Finally Leroy strangled the gator and let it float to the surface. He slowly climbed out of the pool.

Everybody was staring in disbelief. Finally the host says, "Leroy, I reckon I owe you a million dollars." "I don't want it," said Leroy, panting. The rich man said, "Leroy, I have to give you something! You won the bet."

 Leroy said, "I would be satisfied if you gave me the name of whichever one of these white motherf**kers it was that pushed me in the pool."

33
Football / Remember when?..My World Cup thoughts
« on: June 20, 2006, 10:36:50 PM »
Remember when we got 5 from Guatemala?
Remember when we all cried on Nov 19?
Remember when Haiti robbed us?
Remember when Jamaica made the world cup before us although we use to always win the Shell Cup?
Remember when we had to support another country because our own was not in the big dance?
Remember when this forum was cool and men (and women) use to catch kicks and have ah good time with the small talk?

This post is going to be very long so now is yuh chance to stop reading.

This summer I am working with people from several different countries and we are all big football fans and following the world cup.  These people are from countries such as Brazil, England, France, Argentina, Nigeria, Spain, Ghana, Mexico, China, Jamaica, and Peru just to name a few.  These people from the 11 countries listed above were very impressed by the Soca Warriors.  Three things impressed them
1) Pictures I showed them of our celebrations back home after we qualified and local newspaper articles
2) My excitement over the Sweden result
3) Watching our team of low division players and bench warmers play against big players like Lampard, Gerrard, Larsson, Zlatan, Ljunberg, Cuevas, Ferdinand, Rooney, etc. and hold their own.

Some players impressed more than others.  I am not going to call names and point out men for criticism or compliments.  I firmly believe you win as a team and lose as a team. My biggest and only disappointment in the WC campaign was the qualifier against the US in Connecticut.  Drove all the way to Connecticut, broke as hell, spent money I didn't have and before I could sit down in the stadium, TNT concede a goal and proceeded to play the most amount of shit I have ever seen.  There was one positive thing that...Kelvin Jack. Otherwise the scoreline would have been at least 6-0.

Positives
1) Qualified for the world cup for the first time.
2) Smallest nation to ever qualify.
3) Did not get any blowout defeats in the world cup.
4) Did not lose our first game in the world cup, USA played 9 world cup games in Europe before they finally managed to avoid a defeat.
5) Latapy and Yorke got an opportunity to play on the big stage after they experienced Nov 19.
6) Seeing people from different countries with a big football tradition supporting us and wishing us well.

Negatives
We can all come up with negatives.Brazil won the world cup in 1994 and their fans had a lot of negative comments.  So imagine how much negative stuff we trinis can come up with after 1 draw and 2 defeats.  So I will leave the negative stuff to the ungrateful ignorant people.

In my view, fans are there for 2 reasons..1) To support 2) to offer constructive criticism.  However, some people have gone overboard.  I have played sports at a competitive level, football not being one of them (i am a small goal loafer).  I know about some of you forumites who have played football at intercol level, US college level, national youth level, etc.  So you guys have an idea about playing competitive sports and the pressure it entails.  Then there are some of you couldn't play anything at all, not even chess but here on this forum criticizing players like you have any experience in playing serious sports.  I am not saying don’t offer constructive criticism but think before you post especially when you can’t even trap a ball (referring to certain men I know who surprisingly criticizes the most, the guys I know play serious football are not as critical..very interesting).

My point is none of us have played at World Cup level.  We don't know what it feels like to run out on a field in front of large crowds and play against guys who make more money in a week than you make in a year.
Some of us don't understand what is like to train everyday and play competitive sports and undergo continuous criticism from fans.

Leo Beenhakker has been demoted from genius to a sell out coach.  Personally, I did not agree with several decisions.  Decisions such as not playing Latapy, selecting Theobald, selecting Wise, and replacing Shaka today were a bit strange.  However, he did a few things that no other coach have done for us.  He qualified us for the World Cup and we held Sweden to a draw when most people expected us to get blowout.

Personally looking at that these guys play leading up to the WC, I expected 3 losses and about 9-10 goals conceded.  Not that I didn't believe in them or wasn't supporting them but it was based on what I was seeing and accustom to.  True we did not score but we only conceded 4 goals and got 1 point.  Beenhakker is human, so he must make mistakes.  I am sure he and the players as well wished they had done certain things differently.

Some of you acting like we could have won the WC or even qualify for the second round.  Qualifying for the 2nd round was possible but highly unlikely.  It was nice to play the 3rd game and still have a chance of qualifying but honestly speaking, we didn't have much of a chance before the WC started.  The good thing is these players gave their best and hopefully they will realize that they are capable of competing with the big teams. 

Now we need to build on this.  Maintain the positive stuff (strengths) and improve the negatives (weaknesses). I hope all you local people flood the airport when the team returns home and give them a warm welcome, make them feel they won the world cup.  We need to reestablish our dominance in the Caribbean and challenge Mexico, USA and Costa Rica for Concacaf supremacy.

P.S.  I am taking a hiatus from posting till the dust settles on this forum.  Too much cussing and disrespect going on.  Man talking about people mother and all kinda real madness.  I will just read and try to enjoy.

I feel I just break Alberta Trini record for longest post ever..sorry about that.

34
Football / Latas' last hurrah
« on: June 19, 2006, 10:02:09 PM »
Latas' last hurrah

Lasana Liburd


Tuesday, June 20th 2006


Rumour says Russell Latapy carries such a long face to the Trinidad and Tobago football team's training sessions these days that he is danger of kicking his own chin.

One of Trinidad and Tobago's all-time most gifted players, Latapy does not see himself as a fringe player, even at 37 years of age.

Few who followed Latapy's career from his emergence as teenage prodigy in the mid-1980s would disagree.

But then the "Soca Warriors" outfit has so captivated their own population that surely everyone with a Trinidad and Tobago passport-me included-can see himself on a field in Germany. There are several reasons for this sudden urge to lace up football boots. But the most prominent must be the distinct blue-collar qualities that coach Leo Beenhakker's boys have shown.

Who would imagine that our twin-island republic would fall in love with 11 players embodying the passion of defender Marvin Andrews rather than the mesmerizing skills of a Latapy or Evans Wise?

And why is that?

It is because Trinidad and Tobago's football public is slowly evolving from patrons to supporters; from persons seeking out entertainment to people craving success. First, Beenhakker changed the minds of his players. Now, he seems to be transforming the very psyche of the nation.

Anyone seen a letter that begged for the return of talented yet moody players like Arnold Dwarika or Kerwin Jemmott lately?

Nope. T&T are happy to grind out a goalless draw now rather than coo over a thrilling 4-2 defeat.

Perhaps we can finally understand why Italians rave about bulldog Gennaro Gattuso, England adore John Terry and the Czech Republic care more for Jan Koller than the elegant Tomas Rosicky. And why news of Cyd Gray's injury fills us with dread whereas the CL Financial San Juan Jabloteh defender was, not so long ago, considered a comic figure in his homeland.

Ah, to remember those moments against England. Bodies flung in the path of Steven Gerrard's thunderbolts, Densill Theobald sacrificing his own attacking instincts to effectively watchman David Beckham-while the England captain played at right midfield, at least-and Stern John bravely taking a physical bashing from Terry and Rio Ferdinand for his country's pride.

Deep down, we feel, if placed in that position, we would do the same. The Warriors who braved the elements in our two World Cup fixtures thus far, represented each fan for whom desire exceeds ability. Even Yorke traded stylish flicks and poses and tackled and closed down opponents more than anyone else in red, black and white strip. It was a triumph of pragmatism over panache.

Somehow, it is hard to believe that Latapy saw it the same way. He did not want to go on to the field to chase after Sweden's Freddie Ljunberg or England's Joe Cole; he wanted to pick the lock to their backdoor or to upstage their midfield general.

At present, Latapy is T&T's sole genuine "number 10" or playmaker and we cherish the fact that he is different to anyone else in the squad.

Truth be told, we would have it no other way. But using Latapy against either Sweden or England, considering the circumstances of those fixtures, would be akin to ordering champagne on a beer budget.

At Dortmund, the Warriors were a player short and Beenhakker opted for a runner-Cornell Glen-to give an outlet for long punts out of defence as well as to keep Sweden from pushing forward with abandon.

In Nuremberg, Beenhakker dared not take off either Aurtis Whitley or Chris Birchall who were keeping tabs on England's attack minded central midfield partnership of Gerrard and Frank Lampard, while Yorke was imperious in the free role. The captain does not possess Latapy's superb final pass but his more all-round qualities are a big bonus.

It is nice to have a sip of champagne whenever possible but Beenhakker is budgeting for a place in the second round.

Latapy, at 37, is at his best when T&T have a lead to protect or is able to force opponents backwards like against Bahrain or Iceland. Or perhaps against a team that does not bomb forward through the centre of the park like England.

T&T owe Latapy a high debt for nearly two decades of enchanting moments on the field. But the Falkirk player and ex-Porto star is not in Germany as a sympathetic gesture. He is there to help get his country results.

And, more likely than not, he will get his chance to do so today.

Paraguay might also be a stronger team but the onus now lies with the Warriors to dictate the terms of war. T&T must open the South American defence at least once today in Kaiserslautern.




For that reason, Beenhakker must get the most out of his diminutive number 10-albeit off the substitutes' bench to maximise his fading fitness.

We have weathered the worst of the storm. Trinidad and Tobago now needs an admiral not a labourer to navigate a path into the final 16.

A place in the knock out phase of the World Cup would be a first for any Caribbean nation. It is time for Beenhakker to bring out the champagne. The likes of Brent Sancho and Carlos Edwards have taken us this far. Only Latapy's quality can get us further.

Every performer knows that timing is crucial. It is time for our number 10 to shine.

35
Football / Hislop to start in goal again for Trinidad
« on: June 13, 2006, 12:05:39 PM »
Hislop to start in goal again for Trinidad
 
By JOSH DUBOW, AP Sports Writer
June 13, 2006



ROTENBURG, Germany (AP) -- Shaka Hislop will start in goal again for Trinidad and Tobago against England after blanking Sweden in the team's World Cup opener.

Hislop was a last-minute replacement on Saturday against Sweden, when expected starter Kelvin Jack re-injured his calf during warmups. Hislop was up to the challenge, making several key saves in the surprising 0-0 draw.

 
 
With Jack still bothered by the calf injury, coach Leo Beenhakker said Hislop would remain as the No. 1 goalkeeper for Thursday's matchup against England.

"Shaka will definitely start against England and is in great form," Beenhakker said. "He is totally fit physically and you can imagine that after his performance last time against Sweden, also in his mind he is fit."

England leads Group B with three points after beating Paraguay 1-0 in the opener. Trinidad and Sweden are tied for second with one point each.

Hislop is one of six Trinidad starters based in England but the only one who currently plays in the Premier League. The West Ham goalie was born in London but moved to Trinidad at the age of 2.

He played once for England's under-21 team but made his debut for Trinidad's national team in 1998.

Trinidad will be without two defenders Thursday. Left back Avery John will serve a one-game ban after being ejected for receiving two yellow cards against Sweden and central defender Marvin Andrews is still sidelined with an injured left knee.

Brent Sancho will likely start in Andrews' place again and Beenhakker said he was considering a few options to replace John, with Atiba Charles and Evans Wise the most likely alternates.

36
FIFAworldcup.com

Over 28 and out of the Cup


Those who believe in the power of statistics combined with the value of youth can strike from their list of potential 2006 FIFA World Cup Germany™ winners the following teams: Brazil, France, Italy, Czech Republic, Sweden, Portugal, Serbia and Montenegro, USA, Australia, Croatia, and Trinidad and Tobago.
The reason? In none of the last ten FIFA World Cup competitions have the winners possessed a squad with an average age of more than 28 – the 'weakness' of all those teams listed above.

You have to go all the way back to Brazil's champions of 44 years ago to find a winning squad with an average age of more than 28. At Chile 1962 the Seleção weighed in at an average of 30 years and one month, a staggering 17 months older on average than the next oldest squad.

Since then the average age of the winning squads has been: England (27/01); Brazil (25/02); Germany (27/03); Argentina (26/03); Italy (27/04); Argentina (26/10); Germany (27/09); Brazil (27/11); France (27/04) and Brazil (26/09).

Interestingly the average age of those ten winners comes out at 26/11 which is exactly the average of the Germany squad – and no other team - this time. It is also worth noting that the losing finalists are normally not too far away from the winners in terms of average ages. The last three defeated teams show: Germany (28/02); Brazil (27/11); Italy (28).

In this competition Ghana have the youngest squad at 25/02 while fellow newcomers Trinidad and Tobago are the 'old men' of the party. Their squad registers a creaky 29/05.


The youngest player is England rookie Theo Walcott who will be just 17 years and 85 days old when the tournament begins on 9 June. If he hits the back of the net the Arsenal striker will become the youngest-ever goalscorer at a FIFA World Cup.
The oldest participant is Tunisia goalkeeper Ali Boumnijel who was born three months before England lifted the Jules Rimet trophy in 1966 and stands fifth in the all-time list of oldest players to take part in a FIFA World Cup, following in the footsteps of such greats as Roger Milla (Cameroon), Pat Jennings (Northern Ireland), Peter Shilton (England) and Dino Zoff (Italy).

The overall average age of the players taking part in the Germany showpiece is 27/05. Remarkably that figure has scarcely changed over recent tournaments. Four years ago it was 27/06 as it was in 1998. In 1994 it was just one month less at 27/05.

The Japan squad this time feature the smallest gap between their youngest and oldest players – just eight years and two months. England have the largest age gap (18 years and seven months), perhaps no surprise given the Walcott factor and the presence of David James who turns 36 on 1 August.

37
Jokes / Be careful about what you ask for
« on: May 29, 2006, 09:25:59 AM »
A man was sick and tired of going to work every day
while his wife stayed home. He wanted her to see
what he went through so he prayed:

"Dear Lord:

I go to work every day and put in 8-hours while my
wife merely stays at home. I want her to know what I
go through, so please allow her body to switch with
mine for a day".

~Amen~

God, in his infinite wisdom, granted the man's wish.


The next morning,
sure enough, the man awoke as a
woman. He arose, cooked breakfast for his mate,
awakened the kids, set out their school clothes, fed them breakfast, packed their lunches, drove them to
school, came home and picked up the dry cleaning,
took it to the cleaners and stopped at the bank to
make a deposit, went grocery shopping, then drove
home to put away the groceries, paid the bills and
balanced the checkbook. He cleaned the cat's litter
box and bathed the dog. Then it was already 1:00 PM
and he hurried to make the beds, do the laundry,
vacuum, dust, and sweep and mop the kitchen floor.
Ran to the school to pick up the kids and got into
an argument with them on the way home. Set out milk
and cookies and got the kids
organized to do their
homework, then set up the ironing board and watched
TV while he did the ironing. At 4:30 he began
peeling potatoes and washing vegetables for salad,
breaded the pork chops and snapped fresh beans for
supper. After supper, he cleaned the kitchen, ran
the dishwasher, folded laundry, bathed the kids, and
put them to bed.

At 9:00 PM, he was exhausted and, though his daily
chores weren't finished, he went to bed where he was
expected to make love, which he managed to get
through without complaint.

The next morning, he awoke and immediately knelt
down beside the bed and said:

"Lord, I don't know what I was thinking ... I was so
wrong to envy my wife's being able to stay home all
day. Please ... Oh please, let us trade back !!!"

The Lord, in his infinite wisdom, replied:

"My son, I
feel you have learned your lesson and I
will be happy to change things back to the way they
were. You'll just have to wait nine months, though.
You got pregnant last night."

38
General Discussion / Spelling is not important
« on: May 29, 2006, 09:21:44 AM »
fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too
Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe can.

i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!

39
Jokes / The International Rules of Manhood
« on: May 12, 2006, 05:55:12 AM »
The International Rules of Manhood

1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.

2: It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances:

(a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
(b) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.
(c) After wrecking your boss's car.
(d) One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into "The Crying Game".
(e) When she is using her teeth.

3: Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed
and eaten by his buddies.

4: Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of
jail within 12 hours.

5: If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits
forever unless you actually marry her.

6: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy's fridge is forbidden.
However complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.

7: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man.
In fact, even remembering your buddy's birthday is strictly optional. At
that point, you must celebrate at a strip bar of the birthday boy's
choice.

8: On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the
weakest.

9: When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may ask the
score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.

10: You may flatulate in front of a woman only after you have brought her
to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of
flatulent entertainment, she's officially your girlfriend.

11: It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you're
sunning on a tropical beach... and it's delivered by a topless model and
only when it's free.

12: Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to
kick another guy in the nuts.

13: Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.

14: Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.

15: If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see
anything.

16: Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies
until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as
much as the other sports watchers.

17: A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain
sober enough to fight.

18: Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza,
but not both, that's just greedy.

19: If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about
his choice of beer.

20: Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of yours,
except if she's withholding sex pending your response.

21: Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while lifting
weights:

(a) Yeah, Baby, Push it!
(b) C'mon, give me one more! Harder!
(c) Another set and we can hit the showers!

22: Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing:
i.e., both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations,
an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.

23: Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than
you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone.
Hang up if necessary.

24: The morning after you and a girl who was formerly "just a friend"
have carnal, drunken monkey sex, the fact that you're feeling weird and
guilty is no reason for you not to nail each other again before the
discussion occurs about what a big mistake it was.

25: It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for her
to drive yours.

26: Thou shalt not buy a car in the colors of brown, pink, lime green,
orange or sky blue.

27: The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for Christmas?"
with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets an Xbox. End of
story.

28: There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men's Gymnastics.
Ever.

We've all heard about people having guts or balls. But do you really know
the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the
definition of each is listed below.

"GUTS" is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being
assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to say, "are you
still cleaning or are you flying somewhere?"

"BALLS" is coming home late after a night out with the guys smelling of
perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the ass and
having the balls to say, "You're next!"

We hope this clears up any confusion.

The International Council of Manhood, Ltd.


40
Jokes / Quiz
« on: April 18, 2006, 02:57:02 PM »
1. If you are over thirty and you have a washboard stomach, you are gay.
It means you haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and have spent the rest of your free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the Oprah diet.

 

   2. If you have a cat, you are a Flaaaaming homo. A cat is like a dog, but gay - it grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself,
has a delicate touch except when it uses its nails, and whines to be fed. And just think about how you call a dog... "Killer, come here! I
said get your a5s over here, Killer!" Now think about how you call a cat..."Bun-bun, come to daddy, snookums!" Jeeezus, you're fit to be
framed, you're so gay.

 

   3. If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, baby pacifiers, or any such nonsense, rest assured, you are a Gaylord. A straight man only sucks on bar-b-que ribs, crab claws, raw oysters, crawfish guts, pickled pigs feet, or t-its. Anything else and you are in training to suck El Dicko and undeniably a fag*.

 

   4. If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom or piss in a parking lot, you crave a deep homos-exual relationship. A man's world is his bathroom; he defecates and urinates where he pleases.

 

   5. If you drink decaf coffee with skim milk, you like a high hard one in the poop chute. Coffee is to be hard strong, black, and full
aroma. A straight man will never be heard ordering a "Decaf Cafe Latte with Skim "and he will never, ever know what artificial sweetener tastes like. If you've had NutraSweet in your mouth, you've had a man there, too.

 

   6. If you know more than six names of colors or four different types of dessert, you might as well be handing out free passes to your a5s. A real man doesn't have memory space in his brain to remember all of that cr*p as well as all the names of all the players in the Major league, NFL, NHL, college ball, PGA and NASCAR. If you can pick out charreuse or you know what a "fressier" is you're gay. And if you can name ANY type of textile other than denim, you are faggadocious.

 

   7. If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget it, you're dying to tune a meat whistle. A man only puts both hands on the wheel to honk at a slow-a5s driver or to cut the punk off. The rest of the time he needs that hand to change the radio station, eat a hamburger, hold his beer, or play with his honey in the passenger seat.

 

   8. If you enjoy romantic comedies or French films, mon-frere, vous le Gay, oui? The only time it is acceptable to watch one of those is with a woman who knows how to reward her man. Watching any of the above films by yourself or with another man is likely to result in SHC (spontaneous homo-sexual combustion), which is what happens to fags when they Flame out too.


41
Jokes / Catholic girls
« on: April 13, 2006, 08:13:15 AM »
A train hits a bus filled with Catholic school girls and they all perish.

They are in heaven trying to enter the pearly gates when St. Peter asks the first girl, "Tiffany, have you ever had any contact with a male organ?" She giggles and shyly replies, "Well, I once touched the head of one with the tip of my finger." St. Peter says, "Okay, dip the tip of your finger in the Holy Water and pass through the gate."

St. Peter asks the next girl the same question, "Jennifer, have you ever had any contact with a male organ?" The girl is a little reluctant but replies, "Well, once I fondled and stroked one." St. Peter says, "Okay, dip your whole hand in the Holy Water and pass through the gate." 

All of a sudden, there is a lot of commotion in the line of girls. One girl is pushing her way to the front of the line. When she reaches the front, St.Peter says, "Reva, What seems to be the rush?" The girl replies, "If I'm going to have to gargle that Holy Water, I want to do it before Jessica sticks her ass in it."

42
Jokes / Men's and Women's English
« on: February 26, 2006, 03:28:04 PM »
WOMEN'S ENGLISH

1. Yes = No

2. No = Yes

3. Maybe = No

4. We need... = I want.

5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry

6. We need to talk = I need to complain

7. Sure, go ahead = I don't want you to

8. Do what you want = You'll pay for this later

9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!

10. Are you listening to me?? = Too late, you're dead

11. You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me

12. Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs

13. You're so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot

14. Do you love me? = I am going to ask for something expensive

15. It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now

16. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?

17. I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV

18. How much do you love me? = I did something today that you're really not going to like



MEN'S ENGLISH

1. I am hungry = I am hungry

2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy

3. I am tired = I am tired

4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!

5. I love you = Let's have sex now

6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?

7. What's wrong? = I guess sex is out of the question

8. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you

9. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you

10. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you

11. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you

12. Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for other men to have sex with you

13. You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to have sex with you within the next 3 mins

14.Let's talk = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person and then I'd like to have sex with you.

43
Jokes / Jokes
« on: February 26, 2006, 03:26:47 PM »
For my people

There was a black man, a white man, a Native American man, and
> a Latino man.
>
> All four of them were on top of a cliff discussing the
>difficulties that their people had gone through.
>
>The native American said, "my people have suffered the most,
>and in honour of what they have endured, I will fling myself off this
>cliff in hopes that my blood will change things." So he yelled "THIS IS
>FOR MY PEOPLE", and jumped off the cliff.
>
>
>The Latino not wanting to be outdone, quickly looked at the
>other two and followed suit yelling "THIS IS FOR MY PEOPLE" and jumped
>off the cliff as well.
>
>
>The black man was touched by this and decided it was his turn,
>so he yelled "THIS IS FOR MY PEOPLE" and pushed the white man off the
>cliff!


Barber Shop
There is this old, good barber in a U.S city. One day a florist
goes to him for a haircut. After the cut, he goes to pay the
barber and the barber replies: "I am sorry. I cannot accept money from
you. I am doing community service." The Florist is happy and leaves the
shop.
The next morning when the barber goes to open his shop, there is a
thank you card and a dozen roses waiting at his door.

A policeman goes for a haircut and he also goes to pay the
barber after the cut. But the barber replies: "I am sorry. I cannot
accept money
from you. I am doing community service. The cop is happy and
leaves the shop.
The next morning the barber goes to open his shop, there is a thank you
card and a dozen donuts waiting at his door.
Then a trini engineer goes to get his haircut. As the guy is about to
pay him the barber says: "I am sorry. I cannot accept money from you. I
am doing community service." The Trini software engineer is happy and
leaves. The next morning when the barber goes to open his shop,
guess what he finds there...a dozen Trinis waiting for a haircut.




44
What about Track & Field / Marc Burns 3rd in Boston Indoor Games 60m
« on: January 29, 2006, 04:58:06 PM »
Trinidad Express


Trinidad and Tobago sprint star Marc Burns bagged bronze in the men's 60 metres dash, at the Reebok Boston Indoor Games, last night.

The reigning World Athletics Final 100m champion got to the line in 6.62 seconds, the same time clocked by silver medallist Jason Smoots of the United States.

Another American, Terrence Trammell, topped the field in 6.57.

Burns' 6.62 run was just one-hundredth of a second outside his two-year-old PR (personal record).

Another T&T sprinter, Aaron Armstrong, finished sixth in yesterday's race in 6.77.



World leaders, fast times at Reebok Boston Indoor Games


 
BOSTON - World-leading marks were plentiful, and two world records nearly fell as the 2006 Visa Championship Series kicked off Saturday night at the Reebok Boston Indoor Games.

Held at the Reggie Lewis Track & Athletic Center at Roxbury Community College, the Reebok Boston Indoor Games will be broadcast from 3-4:30 p.m. on Sunday, January 29 on ESPN2.

Men's world leaders in SP, 60, 1,000

Reigning World Indoor silver medalist Reese Hoffa won a typically close men's shot put competition with a best toss of 21.07m/69-1.5, the best throw in the world in 2006. World Indoor champion Christian Cantwell was second with 21.03m/69-0, and World Outdoor gold medalist Adam Nelson was third with 20.99m/68-10.5.

2002 USA indoor champion and two-time Olympic hurdles silver medalist Terrence Trammell took the MBTA men's 60 meters in a world-leading 6.57 seconds, with defending meet champion Jason Smoots second in 6.62 and Marc Burns of Trinidad third in the same time.

 

45
Cricket Anyone / West Indies coach under pressure
« on: January 23, 2006, 05:51:22 PM »
cricinfo.com

West Indies coach under pressure

WICB asked to investigate King's results

AFP

January 23, 2006


 
West Indies' results have not improved under Bennett King, despite large sums of money
 
The West Indies Cricket Board (WICB) has been asked to assess whether the performance of their Australian coach, Bennett King, and his team, is helping them bounce back from a decade-long slump, according to a senior official of the Guyana Cricket Board (GCB).

The GCB president, Chetram Singh, said his organisation had formally asked the WICB to determine whether regional cricket was being rewarded for paying King, and his four-member team, $1m annually, at a time when the WICB has a deficit of $15m.

Speaking to the state-owned TV programme One-to-One, Singh said: "The question is whether we could afford the million dollars now per annum without seeing some value for it and that's where the Guyana Board is calling for an evaluation of their performance."

Singh said an assessment should focus on the performance of the coaching team and whether its programme would reap benefits for West Indies cricket in the medium to long term. The all-Australian team includes the coach, manager, assistant manager, physiotherapist and trainer.

He confirmed that the GCB was also concerned that King was allegedly instructing West Indies captain Shivnarine Chanderpaul, but that matter was not raised in the formal request for the assessment. "The coach, Bennett King, has been given too much power in our opinion, as a coach, and so some of the decisions taken inside the pavilion, the captain is now just simply carrying out those instructions and we feel that those powers, also, are too much for the coach when the captain goes outside."

However, Singh conceded that part of the reason for that problem was Chanderpaul's willingness to "take instructions" from the coach, unlike the former West Indies captain, Brian Lara.

Chanderpaul has never officially reported his concerns to the WICB, apparently fearing that he might sour relations with the coaching team, added Singh. King was appointed as coach in October 2004 and since then West Indies has won only one game, a Test match against Pakistan in Barbados last year.

46
Football / Eriksson to vacate post after World Cup
« on: January 23, 2006, 04:40:13 PM »
soccernet.com
Eriksson to vacate post after World Cup

Sven-Goran Eriksson is to step down as England head coach after the World Cup.

The sensational announcement followed a day of intense negotiation between the Swede and Football Association chief executive Brian Barwick.


The FA confirmed that once England have competed in the World Cup finals in June and July, Eriksson will part company with the national side, two years before his contract was due to expire.

It follows successive weekends of damaging revelations in the News of the World, who duped Eriksson and his advisers into believing an undercover reporter was a rich Arab sheikh who wanted to give the Swede a new job.

A statement on the FA's official website said: 'The FA can confirm that Sven-Goran Eriksson will leave his post as England head coach after the World Cup in Germany.

'FA chief executive Brian Barwick reached agreement with Sven and his advisors after discussions today.'

Barwick said: 'The FA and Sven felt it was important to clarify his future. This is for the benefit of everyone connected with English football, especially the fans.

'There has been so much speculation surrounding this matter in recent weeks and months, it was important to resolve it now.

'This is the right outcome and I would like to thank Sven and his advisors for their tremendous co-operation.

'As I have said before, our main objective is giving Sven and the England team the best chance of achieving success at the World Cup.

'Sven is definitely the man to lead us in Germany.

'Now is the time for everyone to get behind the team as we prepare for a tournament that presents us with a genuine chance of success.'

Eriksson said: 'I am happy that we have reached this agreement and can now continue our preparations for the World Cup.

'I know that I have the full support of the players and the FA and it is important to stress to everyone just how committed I am to achieving success this summer.

'I care passionately about this job and I want everyone to know that. I have always enjoyed the incredible support of the fans and I know how important they will be to us in Germany.

'This summer is the culmination of everything we have been working towards over the last five years. Let's go and win the World Cup.' 

47
Football / World Cup trophy for T&T
« on: November 25, 2005, 09:45:28 AM »
Trinidad Guardian

Just over a week after the Soca Warriors qualified for the 2006 World Cup, Fifa has announced that football’s most coveted prize will grace these shores.
The Coca-Cola Company and Fifa announced a renewed, elite sponsorship agreement and plans for a Fifa World Cup Trophy Tour, which will reach T&T on February 17.

The 31-city tour, which serves as the first major initiative of Coca-Cola’s new “We All Speak Football” global marketing platform, was revealed in Cape Town, South Africa, where the 2010 Fifa World Cup will be hosted.

Derek Waddell, Operations Director for the Caribbean, Coca-Cola, said “The Fifa World Cup trophy is one of the most-recognisable sport icons in the world and seeing the real trophy in person is an unforgettable experience, especially in the dramatic way Fifa will present it to fans in Port-of Spain.”

48
Football / Beenhakker gave us belief, says Jack
« on: November 17, 2005, 04:49:25 PM »
Beenhakker gave us belief, says Jack
17 November 2005
by FIFAworldcup.com





As the minutes counted down on Trinidad and Tobago's quest for a place at their first-ever FIFA World Cup™, goalkeeper Kelvin Jack was the centre of attention as Bahrain made every effort to resurrect their own hopes of appearing in Germany next year.
First Bahrain striker Hussain Ali Baba dispossessed the goalkeeper while he was taking a goal-kick, slipping the ball into the net only to be penalised for the offence. Then the Dundee-based keeper flung himself high to his left to make a stunning stop in the dying seconds that preserved his team’s 2-1 aggregate lead. The final whistle blew moments later and T&T began celebrating what Jack considers "an unbelievable achievement" and one for which much of the credit must go to their coach Leo Beenhakker.

FIFAworldcup.com: That was a fantastic save right at the end.
Kevin Jack: It was just one of those things, it is the reward for all the hard work and one of those things you work on in training. It just happened to happen in this game. God was with me, to be honest, so we are going to the World Cup!

What does qualifying for the FIFA World Cup mean to Trinidad and Tobago?
It's an unbelievable achievement for a country our size. A lot of players never, ever qualify for the World Cup, that's the reality of it. To have the chance to play in the World Cup and to get the chance to experience that happiness, then sometimes you have to take it.




Enlarge Photo
Photo Gallery
How much of the credit for this achievement do you give to your coach Leo Beenhakker?
I can't give enough credit to Leo Beenhakker. He has brought a level of professionalism and a level of belief, actually. He gave us that belief that we could compete at this level, that we could compete with the likes of Mexico and the US and the rest of the group. I think Trinidad have got better as the campaign has gone by.
What exactly did Beenhakker change to get such good results?
He changed the mind-set of the players and psychologically he made us believe that we can be a better team and all of the players took that on board and were able to produce that on the pitch. Not every game we did well but he brought that fighting spirit, that tactical awareness and that self-belief that we could do this.

What do you think will be knock-on effects for the game in Trinidad now that you have qualified for the World Cup?
It's only going to be positive. There are a lot of good footballers in Trinidad and because of where in the world we are situated it's difficult sometimes for Trinidadians to get a break in Europe, so hopefully this World Cup qualification will be a showcase for us and will open the door for many more Trinidadians.


49
Football / Negative Comments
« on: November 16, 2005, 06:23:12 PM »
Anybody thinking about posting any negative comments regarding the team or a specific player....HUSH YUH ASS and STAY DE f**k OF DE WEBSITE for the REST OF DE YEAR.

50
Football / Soca Warriors achieve dream
« on: November 16, 2005, 12:21:23 PM »
soccernet.com


Soca Warriors achieve dream

MANAMA, Nov 16 (Reuters) - Trinidad & Tobago reached the World Cup finals for the first time after beating Bahrain 1-0 in Wednesday's Asian/CONCACAF playoff second leg.

A header by defender Dennis Lawrence sent the Caribbeans, coached by Dutchman Leo Beenhakker, through with a 2-1 aggregate victory after a tense contest at the National Stadium.

Lawrence, who plays for Wrexham in England, scored the decisive goal after 49 minutes from a corner taken by former Manchester United forward Dwight Yorke, 33, who inspired his team with a selfless display of industry in midfield.

Trinidad, with a population of only 1.1 million, will be the smallest nation taking part in the finals to be held in Germany next summer, but merited success for their positive approach. 

51
Football / Bahrain about to experience Nov 19 on Nov 16
« on: November 14, 2005, 12:13:45 AM »
Trinidad Express

EASY MEAT?

BAHRAINIS SCENT VICTORY OVER WARRIORS

Ian Prescott


Monday, November 14th 2005


ALMOST  as if Trinidad and Tobago no longer mattered, Bahrainis are already celebrating  reaching their first World Cup.

After holding the Caribbean team to a 1-1 draw in Port of Spain on Saturday, the Gulf nation of just over half a million inhabitants is boasting as if already assured of becoming the smallest country to qualify for a World Cup. The feeling is reminiscent one of 16 years ago, when T&T held the United States 1-1 in the US early in the qualifying campaign, only to fall 1-0 at home when needing just a point.

Yesterday, there was celebration at the Bahrain International Airport as customs officers took a siesta to discuss the implication of their side's draw with the "Warriors". And while the men from Bahrain celebrated their achievement, earlier in New York, Trini ex-patriots were also upbeat about T&T's chances of World Cup glory.

Back in the New York customs department, an  officer with T&T roots was hoping for a Warriors victory. He had been in the United States for 26 years since leaving Madras Street, Cunupia. And although he confessed that New York was now his home and he would not be returning to T&T, he nevertheless was backing the Warriors all the way.

Midday yesterday, Bahrain was a cool 24 degrees Celsius, almost temperate by T&T standards. Although the sun did peek out, there was a distinct chill in the air. However, it was a far cry from the four-degree chill in New York and similar night time temperature in London.

Bahrain's capital Manama is a modern Arabic city.  Even on Sunday, there were men clad in white Arab wear everywhere and women with hijabs clad in black. But regardless of how they dressed, yesterday belonged to the Asians. Quite hospitable, they informed all who wanted to hear of the 1-1 draw in Port of Spain.  And accustomed to stifling defence and improved home performances by their team, they seemed certain that the home team will get the required result on Wednesday at the Bahrain National Stadium. One local even volunteered to translate one Arabic conversation.

"They are saying that it is over for Trinidad and Tobago. I think we will win 3-0, some say 2-0."

The Bahrainis confessed that they were not impressed by what they saw of T&T on Saturday, stating that maybe the occasion got to the Warriors. Still they feel they are the better team. The consensus among the Bahrain customs department is that by the time T&T reached there last night. they would be both dispirited and dog tired.

Most, did not expect coach Leo Beenhakker's men to recover from either the result or their disappointment at Saturday's result. Personal experience says that Beenhakker's boys will indeed be very tired. It is a tediously hard trip to Bahrain in which one has to fly almost 16 hour straight. Doing that after a hard game could well be hard labour.

Dutchman Beenhakker probably will not be able to do anything this morning with his team and may have just a light recovery session this afternoon. Beenhakker may instead have to content himself with doing all his work tomorrow, before playing on Wednesday.  But, all is not lost for T&T, since a single goal or a high scoring draw (2-2, 3-3) will be enough to overcome the Bahrain obstacle. Despite what the locals think.

52
Football / Beenhakker sticks with tried and trusted plan
« on: November 08, 2005, 11:08:18 PM »
Beenhakker sticks with tried and trusted plan
By Ian Prescott (Trinidad Express)


TRINIDAD and Tobago head coach Leo Beenhakker is not going to change his tactics radically for Saturday's first-leg of their two-match World Cup qualifying play-off with Bahrain which comes off from 6.30 p.m. at the Hasely Crawford Stadium, Port of Spain.

Beenhakker said yesterday that instead his job was improving on the team's good showing in their last CONCACAF World Cup qualifier against Mexico.

"We're not going to change anything, of course. Why change anything? You saw what we did from the beginning of May until the last match with Mexico. The team was growing, was playing a little better and better and we had a great game against Mexico. But, of course, we start again this week where we ended up the game against Mexico."

Although crediting his Warriors with a great game in the 2-1 victory over highly-ranked Mexico, Beenhakker feels they can still play better.

"I think versus Mexico we played a very complete and good game. But this is not the end, the Mexico game, it's the beginning of something."

The coach had a light session in the afternoon which was open to the public. However, from today, the real action begins behind closed doors.

The T&T practice sessions leading up to Saturday's match will be closed to both the public and the media.

"From tomorrow we start the training session in regard with how we play Saturday," said the Dutchman.

Beenhakker had a full turnout except for West Ham goalkeeper Shaka Hislop, who was due in last night.

All the players, including previously-injured Brent Sancho and Kenwyne Jones, were declared fit. However, there was some concern when winger Carlos Edwards twisted his right ankle during the session and had a heavy ice pack placed on the leg.

T&T skipper Dwight Yorke, who flew in yesterday, also had a light stretch, but worked mainly with team trainer Wayne Lawson.

The rest of Beenhakker's bunch split into two groups under assistant coaches Whim Rijsbergen and Theo De Jonk, before coming together for an intense, but short, final session.

Througout, Beenhakker focussed on ball possession and movement. The coach credited increased ball possession and cohesion as the main things he has brought to the team during his six-month stint.

"When I arrived here, and I did my home work and I saw the three matches they played under the former coach, I saw 11 players who were doing their best, working very hard, but there wasn't no cohesion between the players. There was no team. I think we worked very hard on that and we didn't have much time."

He was also high in praise of the roles played by veterans Yorke and Russell Latapy, whom he described as "two extraordinary players who can help me throughout the game".

53
Jokes / Feeling smart
« on: October 13, 2005, 10:18:41 PM »
Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?

Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever,"

--Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.


``````````````````````````````````

"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff." --Mariah Carey


````````````

"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life," --Brooke Shields, during an interview to become Spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign.

`````````````````````````````````````````````````

"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body,"-- Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.

`````````````````````````````````````````````


"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country," --Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.

`````````````````````````````


"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president." --Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents.

````````````````````````````````````````````````````


"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it," --A congressional candidate in Texas .

````````````````````````````


"Half this game is ninety percent mental." --Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark

``````````````````````````````````


"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it." --Al Gore, Vice President (DUH !)

```````````````````

"I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix." --Dan Quayle

``````````


"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?"--Lee Iacocca

```````````

"The word 'genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein." --Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback &sports analyst.

````````````````````````````````````````````

"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people."

--Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor.

`````````````````````````````````

"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure." --Bill Clinton, President

``````````````````

"We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur."

--Al Gore, VP ````````````````

"Traditionally, most of Australia 's imports come from overseas."

--Keppel Enderbery

``````````````````````

"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances."

--Department of Social Services, Greenville , South Carolina

````````````````````````````````````````````

"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record." --Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman

54
Football / T&T ride mexican wave/Dancing in the streets/Bring on Bahrain
« on: October 13, 2005, 10:00:39 PM »
Trinidad Express


IT felt like the greatest day of our lives, Leo Beenhakker looked to be the best coach in the world and maligned striker Stern John became the fans' darling for the umpteenth time.

Trinidad and Tobago have not qualified for the 2006 World Cup, but don't tell that to those who were dancing in the streets outside the Hasely Crawford Stadium following the Warriors' 2-1 victory over Mexico on Wednesday night in their final CONCACAF World Cup qualifier.

The T&T national squad brought their A-game for the clash with the Mexicans to become the first Trinidad and Tobago senior team to actually qualify out of a CONCACAF competition.

But to get to the World Cup, the Warriors next engage Asian Zone fifth-place team Bahrain. They play the first of the two-match series in Trinidad on Saturday November 12, before meeting a second time in Bahrain on Wednesday November 16.

Wednesday October 12, though, was a big day for Trinidad and Tobago football and there were obvious signs that striker John was also returning to something like his best. Never mind the goals he scored, but John's confidence must be lifted to even try that tremendous 65th minute half-volley which brought out an acrobatic save from Jose Corona in the Mexican goal.

As a mark of respect, both men congratulated each other, John respecting the athletic stop and Corona likewise acknowledging John's effort.

The sold-out crowd of 24,000 was also treated to a typical piece of finishing from John, which gave T&T the winning goal in the 61st minute.

Picking up a rebound off Aurtis Whitley, John hardly hesitated and pounded the ball left-footed high into the Mexican net.

That is what Trinidad and Tobago fans have come to expect from the Derby County marksman, but have seen little of lately, for although he scored in earlier qualifiers against Guatemala, Panama, and now Mexico, clinical efficien-

cy is the one part of the game that had previously deserted him.

Still, he showed tremendous character to bounce back after missing a penalty in the 31st minute.

There was no hesitation on his part in taking the kick, having been pulled down in the penalty area, after bringing down a Russell Latapy corner-kick.

But the Mexican keeper made the right guess, diving to his left and stopping the shot.

To his credit, John did not fold tamely, but put in a tremendous work-rate up front. Many times the lone forward, John was the perfect point man, taking the knocks and laying off the ball for the midfielders.

He was also unlucky when flicking the ball to goal after an overlapping run from stopper Marvin Andrews, then seeing it slide off defender Hugo Huiqui and then the post, denying the T&T striker his hat-trick.

But, the Warriors' success was not about Stern John alone.

It turned out to be one of the most complete performances by a Trinidad and Tobago national football team.

The victory also broke a long winning streak by Mexico against Caribbean teams which dates back to July, 2000, when Latapy's goal gave T&T a 1-0 triumph in Port of Spain. Beenhakker also must now have finally filled the left midfield position after Aurtis Whitley's performance.

Local fans had been screaming for the San Juan Jabloteh frontman to have a more attacking role than the defensive midfield position in which he had been played by Beenhakker.

Whitley customarily drifts to the left when playing for Jabloteh before cutting in-field. And, it was his trademark play which caught the Mexicans by surprise in the 42nd minute and led to the T&T equaliser.

Earlier, striker Jaime Lozano had given the Mexicans a 38th minute lead when chipping Kelvin Jack at the far post after collecting the ball on the left flank from a quick counter-attack.

But four minutes later, Whitley drove down the left, cut in a bit and hit a hard grounder off the base of the Mexican upright and the ball rebounded straight at the feet of John, who hit the ball in as he tumbled over to level the match at a goal apiece.

Whitley also had a part in setting up Trini-dad and Tobago's winning goal.

Driving at the Mexican goal, he lost the ball after a heavy tackle, but it inadvertently fell to John, who struck the ball powerfully with his left foot.

Other Warriors had excellent performances as well.

There was the guile of Latapy, who not only terrorised the Mexican defenders, but also used all of his experience to kill off the game near the end.

Chris Birchall and captain Dwight Yorke did much of the donkey work in midfield, while Carlos Edwards showed a remarkable return to form.

Edwards was a constant threat on the flanks, where he twisted and turned around his marker at will. At one point, Edwards almost broke the back of experienced defender Joel Huiqui with a dribble.

But, the Warriors were not only about attacking.

Stoppers Marvin Andrews and Dennis Lawrence came up with very timely interceptions; Cyd Gray did a tremendous job at the right back position; and Avery John also held his corner.

The whole team really came good against powerhouse Mexico, a repeat of which next month will surely land them a place in the 2006 World Cup.

T&T ride Mexican wave

There were just 12 minutes left in Wednesday's CONCACAF World Cup qualifier between Mexico and hosts Trinidad and Tobago when the local fans began singing a sweet, familiar refrain.

"T&T, we want a goal "

The chant showed no trace of the desperation felt when chasing a result. It was closer to a taunt.

Trinidad and Tobago were as good as in the World Cup Playoff race and the fans knew it.

The final whistle, which confirmed a 2-1 win for T&T, did not spark scenes of celebration. The Hasely Crawford Stadium began celebrating from the moment Stern John rammed home their second goal in the 61st minute.

Referee Jose Fernandez's final gesture only meant that dancing, singing fans could now turn their attention from the field to each other. And, if most of the ladies present paid for their red outfits by the yard, Jimmy Aboud's fabric store did not make as much money as they may have hoped.

It was Carnival in October and the Hasely Crawford Stadium embodied the beauty, charisma and energy of Trinidad and Tobago.

Surely, it could not be prelude to a disaster. Not again.

After all, Trinidad and Tobago had only to beat the fifth-ranked team in the world-Mexico are 51 places higher than T&T in the FIFA ranking-to guarantee their place in the Playoffs.

Mexico, mind you, lost just twice in competitive meetings to T&T in a 40-year stretch. Suckeye.

Then came the game's first potential turning point.

Half-hour into the affair, John was dragged to the ground inside the Mexican penalty area and dusted himself off to take the resultant spot kick.

Mexico goalkeeper Jose Corona got both hands to John's penalty kick and held on comfortably.

The misfortune should have been anyone's on the field but John. In recent months, the Derby County striker paid for Trinidad and Tobago's blunt presence in front the opposing goal, although it is coach Leo Beenhakker, not John, who opted for a conservative 4-5-1 system.

Now would John, who scored the decisive goal in Panama last weekend, stall on the road to perdition?

Frustrated supporters looked at each other and bit their tongue. It was as good as he could hope for. And did John ever repay their faith.

But it got worse before it got better.

Eight minutes after John's gaffe, Mexico took the lead with a sublime finish that seemed to laugh in the face of Trinidad and Tobago's qualifying hopes.

It is not just the technique and audacity of Mexican flanker Jaime Lozano to chip goalkeeper Kelvin Jack from inside the T&T penalty area, the ease with which Mexico engineered the chance or the timing of the goal that creased foreheads. It was a combination of the three.

Trinidad and Tobago had been outclassed.

And, sensing the despair of his beautiful people, the Lord-who occasionally does more than re-route hurricanes from Trinidad and Tobago's path-sent a redeeming angel.

Not charming playmaker Russell Latapy or the imperious captain Dwight Yorke, but rather CL Financial San Juan Jabloteh midfielder Aurtis "Otis Seaton" Whitley.

Whitley's mazy dribble and low spanking drive from 25 yards out ricocheted off the post before being turned in by a diving John.

Perhaps it was a bit much to empower the least of Beenhakker's apostles, as well as T&T's sacrificial lamb in one blur of movement, but there were no critics in red, white and black outfits.

For another twist, popular 36-year-old goalkeeper Shaka Hislop replaced the injured Jack at the resumption for his first appearance under Beenhakker and was quickly forced into a save.

But the glory lay further upfield and, despite plenty of neat one-twos by Yorke and Latapy, it was Whitley and John who most enjoyed the script.

Thirty minutes from time, they offered a crucial encore.

This time, Seaton's charge was blocked by an opponent but the Pro League player reacted quickly to flick the loose ball to John.

He might not the fleetest of foot but John knows better than to fool around at the dinner table.

One touch to turn and the other sent the ball screaming into the top left-hand corner. Corona was lucky just to see it.

Four minutes later, John almost grabbed a hat-trick with a dipping volley on the turn that would have held its own in the most privileged company in the game but for a successful response from the furiously backpedalling Corona.

By then, Mexico had accepted their role as 'also rans' in the show and Trinidad and Tobago fans were crowing.

"T&T, we want a goal!"

"Ole, ole, ole, ole!"

On the crest of a Mexican wave, Trinidad and Tobago cruised into a two-legged Playoff for a World Cup berth.

"Keep the faith," said Yorke, in the post-match interview. "We know we are heading in the right direction."

There was much to be said for the power of belief on Wednesday.
 
Bring on Bahrain

Trinidad and Tobago national football coach Leo Beenhakker has expressed satisfaction with the "Warriors" performance in their 2-1 triumph over Mexico in their final round CONCACAF World Cup qualifier at the Hasely Crawford Stadium on Wednesday night.

The victory puts T&T in fourth spot in the CONCACAF qualifying standings and the national team now face a home and away playoff next month with the fifth-place Asian Zone country, Bahrain, for a berth at the 2006 World Cup.

And although the Dutchman remained typically composed following his team's latest win against the top CONCACAF team, Beenhakker was notably much happier with the Warriors' performance on the night.

"You also saw the game, no?" Beenhakker told the media following the match. "I think everyone can be happy with it. We played against one of the best teams of the world. And they still are. And I think it was in our possibilities. We played a great match, especially first half. First half hour we didn't give a chance to them. And we had the whole match in our hands.

"It was a difficult moment when Stern (John) missed the penalty, but after that the team again played with a lot of courage, and I think at the end we beat a great team, a great opponent, and we deserved the victory."

The T&T coach also revealed that now that this part of the journey is over, he and the rest of his staff already have their sights set on Bahrain.

"What can I say? I know we have two more games to play," Beenhakker said. "Yeah, well, first I think we have the right to be happy about this victory and we know that Bahrain is our next opponent, and from tomorrow morning we will start thinking about it.

"At least we have one of the coaches over there from Holland," the T&T coach continued, "and he saw both matches, so in that way we are very well prepared. We know who Bahrain is and we know who the players are. We will get information about all that, so from tomorrow we will start thinking about it.

"We have a few weeks and, as you know, everybody will go to his club tomorrow morning and I will see the guys again four days before the next match. So that's the situation we are in."

T&T captain Dwight Yorke was also elated with the victory, but although he felt the public should celebrate, he warned that the team still has some way to go to qualify.

"There's no question that this was a fantastic result for us," the Sydney FC striker remarked. "We set out pretty much to score an early goal, and again this is a fantastic result and everyone should be happy because we know that the job is not complete yet.

"We put ourselves in a fantastic position," Yorke added, "and by completing the job tonight, we have a couple of games ahead of us and again I keep saying let's not get ahead of our time. But we should enjoy the occasion which is a special occasion for everybody."

T&T striker Stern John, who scored both goals to lift the Warriors to victory, acknowledged he has now surpassed Steve David's World Cup qualifying goalscoring record (16 goals) for the national team with 18, but said the most important goal right now is qualifying.

"It's always good to score goals," John added. "I did not really set out to break his record, it's just good to score today and get the victory for the team. I think along the way if I break records and stuff it's an added bonus, but the main thing is to qualify for the World Cup.

"That's just a notch under my belt, but that's not really the important thing right now. That's a personal thing, but football is a team game. And I'm very happy for the victory today."

And Yorke had a message for all the fans who supported the Warriors on Wednesday.

"The message from me and the message from the players is that 'keep the faith'. We're headed in the right direction, but again let's not get ahead of ourselves. We know that there's two games remaining. Tonight is a fantastic result and quite rightly so.

"Everybody should enjoy it and enjoy the occasion, but then back to the drawing board in less than a month's time, and then see where we go from there," Yorke concluded.
 


55
Football / Soca Warriors take huge step towards Germany
« on: October 13, 2005, 06:01:08 AM »
Soca Warriors take huge step towards Germany
FIFAworldcup.com


As the final whistle sounded at the end of the most important game in Trinidad and Tobago's history, the Hasley Crawford Stadium erupted in celebration. And no wonder. The Soca Warriors had just pulled off a deserved and famous 2-1 victory over Mexico. A play-off with Bahrain is all that now stands between T&T and a first ever appearance at the FIFA World Cup™ finals.

The agony and the ecstasy
This was no formality for the Caribbean side, however, and although they dominated proceedings, Leo Beenhakker's side did things the hard way on a night of high tension in Port of Spain. After a patient, probing start, T&T launched a full-frontal assault on Jesus Corona's goal. Dwight Yorke and Stern John powered in two fizzing drives from distance to set the rhythm as the hosts pushed forward in search of a historic victory.

The pressure looked to be paying dividends when, on the half-hour mark, young Mexico defender Joel Huiqui pulled Yorke back on the six-yard line and the referee pointed to the spot. John strode up to take the kick, but his tame, telegraphed effort was easily held by Corona.

Things went from bad to worse for the home side when Mexico converted their only chance of the half seven minutes later. Francisco Fonseca and Luis Perez combined well to set up Jaime Lozano, who deftly lifted the ball over Kelvin Jack and into the corner of the net from a tight angle.

Although fortune was hardly favouring the brave, the fanatical home fans continued to urge their heroes on and were rewarded with an equaliser just before the break. Yorke struck the post and John latched onto the rebound to level the scores. It was one-way traffic after that. The occasion seemed to be too much for an inexperienced Mexico side missing many of their big names and it came as no surprise when John pounced on a mistake by Israel Lopez on the hour mark and powered home an angled drive to make it 2-1.

A hollow triumph
One man's joy is another man's pain, as they say. Guatemala produced their finest performance in the six-team final qualifying group as they defeated arch-rivals Costa Rica 3-1, but it was too little too late. The Guatemalans turned in a superb first-half performance as an early header from Elmer Ponciano (2'), a superb strike from distance by Freddy Garcia (15') and a spectacular overhead kick by Carlos Ruiz (31') sealed the points for the home side before the break.

Guatemala were content to run down the clock after the restart although Roy Myre did manage to pull one back for Costa Rica while Jafet Soto spurned the opportunity to add a fourth from the penalty spot ten minutes from time.

Confident USA claim top spot
In the section's other game, Bruce Arena decided to give a second chance to the talented youngsters brushed aside 3-0 by Costa Rica at the weekend and the gamble paid off. The second string repaid his faith with a solid 2-0 victory over bottom-placed Panama, who also rested several first-choice players. Goals early in the second half from Kyle Martino and Taylor Twellman proved enough for the Stars and Stripes to claim top spot in the qualification group for the first time in their history.

56
Football / Costa Rica to rest key players vs Guatemala
« on: October 10, 2005, 11:51:41 PM »
 Costa Rica to rest key players vs Guatemala

Tuesday, October 11th 2005

Trinidad Express

 
 
 Costa Rica will be resting a lot of their key players in their final CONCACAF World Cup Qualifying game against Guatemala tomorrow in Guatemala.

Trinidad and Tobago's 1-0 victory over Panama on Saturday gave them a two-point edge over Guatemala, but T&T must play CONCACAF group leaders Mexico tomorrow, while Costa Rican coach Alexandre Guimaraes said he would be resting key players against Guatemala.

Tomorrow's games will determine whether Guatemala or Trinidad and Tobago earn fourth place in the CONCACAF standings and the right to face Bahrain or Uzbekistan of the Asian Zone in a home-and-home playoff for a berth at the 2006 World Cup in Germany.

With their 3-0 trouncing of a second-string USA team last Saturday, the Ticos joined the United States and Mexico in the three guaranteed berths from the North and Central American and Caribbean region.

And Costa Rica coach Guimaraes said he will not be taking any risks ahead of next year's World Cup.

"I am not going to risk several players who have yellow cards because I don't want to risk losing anybody for the first game of the World Cup," Guimaraes said.
 

57
Jokes / Trini vs US language
« on: September 06, 2005, 03:31:15 PM »
USA: Such tasteful Hors d'heurves, sumptuous finger foods, wow!
TnT: Whuddy ass is dis? Whey de blasted food?

USA: Here Kitty kitty... get down from that roof munchkins.
TnT: Ey yuh ole dutty stinkin cyat, come down from de friggin gyalvanize before ah drop two stone in yuh ass!

USA: Aren't those pants a bit short?
TnT: Yuh expekin flood or wha?

USA: Sir, please don't throw my luggage like that.
TnT: Buh wha trouble is dis? Boy,...... stop flingin meh grip so.

USA: Lift the hood of the car for me John.
TnT: Yute-man, fly open de bonnet deh!

USA: I love you girl.
TnT: Ah rell check fuh yuh, yuh know.

USA: Oh the poor little boy is handicap.
TnT: Look at dat lil brooko foot boy dey...

USA: It's time for a perm.
TnT: Gyul , yuh head need straightenin bad. Yuh doh see all dem gren-gren showin.

USA: I have a stomach ache.
TnT: Oh gorm..............meh belly gripein meh.

USA: He has no manners.
TnT: He doh have no broughtupsee.

USA: WOW!...........he ! has such a bad body odor
TnT: Yuh doh bade?.......oh shit man...... yuh smellin stink! Yuh Kickin!!!

USA: Josh is suffering from Attention Deficit Disorder.
TnT: Dat chile too dam harden.

USA: He has a touch of Dyslexia.
TnT: He duncee fuh so.

USA: I need a bottle of Peptobismol...my stomach hurts.
TnT: Ah need ah purge bad...ah cork up.

USA: It's been a long time since I've seen you girl.
TnT: A..A...! You still alive gyul?

USA: Oh my goodness, we have lost electricity.
TnT: Jeezanages!!......current gorn again.

USA: This meal is not too bad.
TnT: ! Wha doh kill does fatten and wha doh fatten does purge.

USA: Oh my, your feet are so ashy.
TnT: Is how yuh foot and dem look like yuh was kickin flour so...yuh couldn't a rub lil coconut oil on yuh foot self?

58
Football / Beenhakker is ah boss
« on: September 04, 2005, 06:15:52 AM »
Leo Beenhakker has proven why he is such a big coach.  He is a shrewd tactician and I was very impressed with the changes he made.  I was a bit surprised by his subsitution of Whitley and Spann, but he knew what he was doing.  He kept faith in Stern while 75% of us were calling for Stern to be benched.  He made Kelvin Jack 0ur #1 keeper while most of us were calling for Ince, Hislop and even Tony Warner.

As of now, I can't question Leo's selections (even Cyd Gray..I am sure he had a plan there...just Cyd couldn't execute the plan).  So if Leo start Manning up front with Stern next game and have Panday and Max Richards on the bench, i will not argue....IT IS OBVIOUS LEO KNOWS WHAT HE IS DOING.

Well done Leo!

59
Jokes / Never be late
« on: August 16, 2005, 02:25:55 PM »
A priest was being honored at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish. A leading local politician and member of the congregation was chosen to make the presentation and give a little speech at the dinner. He was running late, so the priest decided to say his own few words while they waited.


"I got my first impression of the parish from the first confession I heard here. I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place. The very first person who entered my confessional told me he had stolen a television set and, when stopped by the police, had almost murdered the officer. He had stolen money from his parents, embezzelled from his place of business, had an affair with his boss's wife, taken illegal drugs, and gave VD to his sister. I was appalled. But as the days went on, I knew that my people were not all like that and I had, indeed, come to a fine parish full of good and loving people."



Just as the priest finished his talk, the politician arrived full of apologies at being late. He immediately began to make the presentation and give his talk. "I'll never forget the first day our parish priest arrived," said the politician. "In fact, I had the honor of being the first one to go to him in confession."

60
What about Track & Field / 100 m Semis-Starting List
« on: August 06, 2005, 02:19:37 PM »
Heat 1 - Sunday, August 07, 2005 - 19:20
 
Lane Bib  Athlete Country 2005 Personal
1 25  Ross Joshua AUS 10.12 10.12
2 345  Devonish Marlon GBR 10.19 10.13
3 1026  Scott Leonard USA 9.94 9.94
4 752  Obikwelu Francis POR 10.04 9.86
5 679  Fasuba Olusoji A. NGR 10.09 10.09
6 977  Crawford Shawn USA 9.99 9.88
7 495  Frater Michael JAM 10.03 10.03
8 917  Burns Marc TRI 9.96 9.96

Heat 2 - Sunday, August 07, 2005 - 19:28
 
Lane Bib  Athlete Country 2005 Personal
1 406  Zakari Aziz GHA 9.99 9.99
2 678  Emedolu Uchenna NGR 10.13 9.97
3 983  Gatlin Justin USA 9.89 9.85
4 500  Thomas Dwight JAM 10.05 10.05
5 320  Pognon Ronald FRA 9.99 9.99
6 916  Brown Darrel TRI 9.99 9.99
7 847  Collins Kim SKN 10.00 9.98
8 349  Gardener Jason GBR 10.09 9.98

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