Topics

91

Football / Stream line T&T Football

« on: November 30, 2010, 12:42:42 PM »

Is it time to stream line T&T Football.

Simply Two leagues


National Premier League
National First division

Promotion and relegation.
Both Leagues come under the scheduling direction of the National TD in consultation with the National team Head Coach.

Below that Zonal Football

92

Jokes / Ole Pirate

« on: November 21, 2010, 08:50:24 PM »

A pirate walked into a bar, and the bartender said, "Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened? You look terrible." "What do you mean?" said the pirate, "I feel fine."

"What about the wooden leg? You didn't have that before."

"Well," said the pirate, "We were in a battle, and I got hit with a cannon ball, but I'm fine now."

The bartender replied, "Well, OK, but what about that hook? What happened to your hand?"

The pirate explained, "We were in another battle. I boarded a ship and got into a sword fight. My hand was cut off. I got fitted with a hook but I'm fine, really."

"What about that eye patch?"

"Oh," said the pirate, "One day we were at sea, and a flock of birds flew over. I looked up, and one of them shit in my eye."
 
"You're kidding," said the bartender. "You couldn't lose an eye just from bird shit."

"It was my first day with the hook."

93

Football / Maicon

« on: November 03, 2010, 09:17:11 AM »

Italian press not easy nah. This morning the said its official Maicon is "washed up" after another poor performance. They also claimed Inter showed a lack of insight in not selling him to Real Madrid when they had the chance.
I wonder why they did not ask why Inter failed to have a plan to contain a player who rosted them last outing. Poor Maicon was left all alone for the entire game. No support from his right mid and no coverage from his center mid. Like it was a set up 

94

Jokes / Hurricanes

« on: October 27, 2010, 07:24:34 PM »

 WHY WERE HURRICANES NORMALLY NAMED AFTER WOMEN?
 

A: Because when they come, they're wild and wet.    But when they go, they take your house and car with them.

95

Football / Jaime Moreno

« on: October 23, 2010, 05:42:14 PM »

Class is class. MLS original General. One of my favourite players to watch in MLS, along with Valderama 

96

Football / Javier Pastore

« on: September 24, 2010, 07:36:34 AM »

Anyone following Palermo and in particular Pastore.
This youth well on his way to the big time. I remember
watching him in a few games with Huracan & he had
big players on their backside

IMHO the full package, he could dribble, has vision,
creativity and scores goals from Midfield.

Keep an eye on him yesterday Palermo & Pastore tap up
Juventus

97

Jokes / Priceless

« on: September 22, 2010, 06:26:34 AM »

 A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered her altitude  and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him,
 
  "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an  hour ago, but I don't know where I am."
 
  The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, "You're in a hot air  balloon, approximately 30 feet above ground elevation of 2,346 feet above sea  level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees,  49.09 minutes west longitude.
 
  She rolled her eyes and said, "You must be an Obama Democrat."
 
  "I am," replied the man. "How did you know?"
 
  "Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is  technically correct. But I have no idea what to do with your information, and I'm still lost. Frankly, you've  not been much help to me."
 
  The man smiled and responded, "You must be a Republican."
 
  "I am," replied the balloonist. "How did you know?"
 
  "Well," said the man, "you don't know where you are -- or  where you are going. You've risen to where you are , due to a large quantity  of hot air.
  You made a promise you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve  your problem.
 
 
  You're in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but somehow,  now it's my fault."
 
   P R I C E L E S S ! P R I C E L E SS!         
   

98

Football / Carling Cup 2010

« on: September 21, 2010, 02:46:47 PM »

Carling Cup (spoiler)

Tottenham vs Arsenal
1-2 right now in extra time
Offside goal by Keean and phantom penalty on Nasri. Officials deciding the outcome of the game. Real entertaining though.

99

Jokes / In ah bad mood

« on: September 15, 2010, 03:04:42 PM »

I got fired on my first day as a masseuse today.. Apparently the
instruction ' finish off on her face ' didn't mean ' What I thought it
did '
>
> **A fat girl served me food in McDonalds at lunch time, she said '
> sorry about the wait ' I said ' don't worry , your bound to lose it**
eventually

 As I come out MacDonalds with meh burger, large chips,
 & a jumbo Nuggets. A  homeless man sat there and said
> 'I've not eaten for two days' I told him 'I wish I had your f**king **will
> power'

> **Snow in the forcast! The TV weather gal said she was expecting 8
> inches tonight, I thought to myself "fat chance" with a face like that!'

100

Jokes / It don't pay to be a liar

« on: August 26, 2010, 11:05:33 AM »

The Ski Trip

Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob. So they loaded up Jack 's minivan and headed north.
 
After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. So they pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered the door if they could spend the night.

'I realize it's terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself, but I'm recently widowed,' she explained. 'I'm afraid the neighbors will talk if I let you stay in my house.'

'Don't worry,' Jack said. 'We'll be happy to sleep in the barn. And if the weather breaks, we'll be gone at first light.' The lady agreed, and the two men found their way to the barn and settled in for the night.
 
Come morning, the weather had cleared, and they got on their way. They enjoyed a great weekend of skiing.

But about nine months later, Jack got an unexpected letter from an attorney. It took him a few minutes to figure it out, but he finally determined that it was from the attorney of that attractive widow he had met on the ski weekend.

He dropped in on his friend Bob and asked, 'Bob , do you remember that good-looking widow from the farm we stayed at on our ski holiday up north about 9 months ago?'

'Yes, I do.' Said Bob.

'Did you, er, happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house and pay her a visit?'

'Well, um, yes!,' Bob said, a little embarrassed about being found out, 'I have to admit that I did.'
 
'And did you happen to give her my name instead of telling her your name?'

Bob 's face turned beet red and he said,'Yeah, look, I'm sorry, buddy. I'm afraid I did.' 'Why do you ask?'

'She just died and left me everything.'

101

Football / The sweetness of a rollie pollie

« on: August 19, 2010, 06:40:40 PM »

Is this still the sweetest rollie pollie ever.

Lard!   

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xU4K12SpDzo

102

Football / Interesting View

« on: August 18, 2010, 09:01:54 AM »

Manchester United Veterans Paul Scholes And Ryan Giggs Are Just The Latest Beneficiaries Of Sir Alex Ferguson's 'International Indifference'

The Red Devils' boss has never cared too much for the international game..
.
By Peter Staunton
Aug 17, 2010 4:00:00 PM
17 Share
Related Links
Teams

    * Man Utd.

Players

    * Paul Scholes
    * Nani
    * Ji-Sung Park
    * Dimitar Berbatov
    * Ryan Giggs
    * Rio Ferdinand
    * Sir Alex Ferguson
    * John O'Shea
    * Wayne Rooney

The evergreen Paul Scholes has drawn the plaudits so far this term in much the same way that his Manchester United colleague Ryan Giggs did two seasons ago. He has been praised and admired for his sprightliness, energy and longevity and maintaining an impressive level of fitness and ability, remaining an integral part of the United set-up at 35.

The midfielder's last two outings, in the Community Shield and the Premier League, have yielded two man of the match awards and fresh regret that he was not willing to play for England in the World Cup.


Scholes and Giggs | Reaping the benefit of international retirement

But his decision to shun the national team conforms perfectly to the structure set down at Old Trafford by Sir Alex Ferguson. Despite his assertions to the contrary, Ferguson outwardly displays little regard for the international game; with the likes of Rio Ferdinand, John O'Shea and Nani, to name only three, suffering serious recent injuries whilst on international duty, why would he?

He seems to prefer his players to stay away from friendlies and low stakes qualifiers and the presence of internationally retired players, and the merely internationally indifferent, in his ranks pays testament to this.

Scholes, Ryan Giggs and the former Manchester United captain Roy Keane all curtailed their international careers with their caps totals only in the mid sixties. Their contemporary, David Beckham, had differing views to Ferguson regarding a number of issues, perhaps his desire to kick every ball for England among them.

Scholes, Giggs and Edwin van der Sar are reaping the benefits of their decisions to walk away from the international scene as they continue to defy Father Time with commanding displays at the top level and not at LA Galaxy. Now a younger generation is now falling into line. Wes Brown and Dimitar Berbatov have recently quit their respective national camps, presumably to prolong their careers with Manchester United.


Internationally indifferent | Dimitar Berbatov has called a halt

And looking around the current squad it is difficult to ascertain the genuine 'stars' of the international scene. Wayne Rooney would seem to be the obvious candidate but has suffered an alarming drop in form and fitness; he is without a goal since March for club or country and punched in a poor World Cup campaign. Despite the season being only a match old the 24-year-old striker looks like a man in need of a rest.


Burn-out | Is Rooney suffering from playing too many matches?

Ferdinand is serially injured and was the focus of Ferguson's demand in February that he cease to put country before club.

Bonafide international 'stars' are, and have been, a rarity at Manchester United under Ferguson. Park Ji Sung, the South Korea captain, is arguably the biggest in the current ranks.

In contrast to Bayern Munich and Inter, who have sent representatives to each of the last eight World Cup finals, Ferguson has yet to send one during his tenure. In European Championships only Peter Schmeichel in 1992 and Cristiano Ronaldo in 2004 played in the final match while being paid by United. For a club decorated with no fewer than 26 major honours under his stewardship, that is a curiosity.

Scholes and Giggs have regularly cited their decision to quit international football as a major factor in their extended club careers; a two-week break every second month or so contributes in helping to preserve their staying power.

Certain players are often criticised for putting country before club, like Miroslav Klose at Bayern Munich, but that template would never be tolerated at Old Trafford. Moreover there is never any question which takes precedence while on Manchester United's books. Club or country? It's more a case of United or the road

103

Jokes / Mothers logic (warning)

« on: August 06, 2010, 12:22:31 PM »

Punjabi woman says to her mother:
 'I'm  divorcing Kuldip... all he wants is anal sex and my asshole is now the size of a 50 cent coin when it used to be the size of a 10 cent coin.'

Mother  responds: 'You're  married to a millionaire lawyer ... you live in  an 8 bedroom mansion in Canada, you drive a  Mercedes 300SEL ... you get  $10,000 a week allowance ...   you take 6  vacations a year .....   ..........and  you want to throw all that away for 40 cents?

104

Jokes / horner man

« on: August 03, 2010, 01:44:41 PM »

One day Old Road in Antigua was flooded out due to heavy rainfall.  People from there had to leave work early to go home. A young man eagerly rushed home to be with his  beautiful wife. As he pulled up on his driveway, he braved the thunderous rain and darted into his house.

To his dismay, his wife's 'horner-man' ran outside to get away. The husband walked up to his wife and 'buss two slap in she ass .'

Crying enough to fill a bucket she said, 'What yah slap meh for?'

She continued...
'Dat is de man who buy dem shoes on yah foot.'
'Dat is de man who doz help me pay de bills.'
'Dat is de man who pay down on de car you drivin.'

Totally enraged the husband replied,
'Dat is exactly why ah frigging slap you... you have de man running out in de rain?'

'Suppose he catch cold an dead, a wha ar we go do den?'  'You stupid or what?'


'Call him back!!!'

105

Football / MLS Team

« on: July 25, 2010, 06:10:29 PM »

MLS Teams doing very well against Premier league teams this rounds. I know its friendlies, pre season and all that. Regardless the quality of football has been good. Today Kansas City with ten men from first half beat ManU 2-1. again displaying some good football. While NY deal with Man City

Well done

106

Football / Ajax vs Chelsea

« on: July 23, 2010, 10:53:21 AM »

Ajax playing Chelsea now and Ajax real knocking some ball. They have a youth  Christian Erikson he have some sweet touches. then again all them Ajax players look comfortable. 2-1 for Ajax at half

107

Football / Nice touch by Brazilian players

« on: July 14, 2010, 06:30:02 PM »

Returning home to play in the league. Belletti, Silvinho, Roberto Carlos, Robinho, Adriano, Ronaldinho. Its great for young players and the profile of the league

108

Jokes / Parrot fuh sale

« on: July 14, 2010, 08:54:06 AM »

A woman went to a pet shop & immediately
spotted a large, beautiful parrot.
There was a sign on the cage that said $50.00.

"Why so little?" she asked the pet store owner.

The owner looked at her and said,
"Look, I should tell you first that this bird

used to live in a house of Prostitution
and sometimes it says some pretty vulgar stuff."
The woman thought about this, but decided
she had to have the bird anyway.

She took it home and hung the bird's cage up
in her living room and waited for it to say

something.

The bird looked around the room, then at her,

and said, "New house, new madam."

The woman was a bit shocked at the

implication,  but then thought "that's really

not so bad."

When her 2 teenage daughters returned from

school the bird saw and said, "New house, new madam, new girls."

Everybody laugh, Its not that bad they thought

The woman Husband walks in The Parrot says
"Hi Keith"

109

2010 World Cup - South Africa / prize money

« on: July 13, 2010, 11:56:03 AM »

Look at the break down of Prize money. 

I undrestand that through Qualification every country receives 8 million. Now the countries that don't make round of 16, also showing to receive 8 mil.

My question is "Is this an additional 8 mil to the qualification money."

If so T&T received real dollars in 2006   


World Cup prize money breakdown

July 12 2010

Spain collected a record 30 million dollars for winning the 2010 World Cup in South Africa:

Winners (30 million dollars) - Spain

Runners-up (24 million) - Holland

Semi-finalists (20 million each) - Germany, Uruguay

Quarterfinalists (18 million each) - Argentina, Brazil, Ghana, Paraguay

Second round losers (nine million each) - Chile, England, Japan, Mexico, Portugal, Slovakia, South Korea, United States

First round losers (eight million each) - Algeria, Australia, Cameroon, Denmark, France, Greece, Honduras, Italy, Ivory Coast, New Zealand, Nigeria, North Korea, Serbia, Slovenia, South Africa, Switzerland

110

2010 World Cup - South Africa / Trini is the biggest banwaggonist on the planet

« on: July 08, 2010, 12:15:43 PM »

I use to heckle meh Portugese friends that they had two stitching on they Jersey, Portugal and when Portugal loss, they flip it inside out and is Brazil. 

But Trini take win! About three man I see doing this. In the earlies, he show up wid a France shirt, once France out, is Brazil shirt, Then yesterday he was sporting a Germany (1990 he dig out we), eh eh today the man come out wid ah Holland we 

111

Jokes / Bin Laden

« on: July 07, 2010, 07:00:45 PM »

The latest video to prove Bin Laden is still alive
was shown by Al Jazeera recently.
Bin Laden addressed everyone saying "that this England
was the worst team he has ever seen."
Scotland Yard and MI 6 were quick to discredit the video
stating that the video could have been produced anytime
over the last 44 years 

112

2010 World Cup - South Africa / France Gov't moves ahead

« on: June 30, 2010, 07:31:00 PM »

Looks like French Gov't moving forward and eh studying Blatter and FIFA's threats

http://soccernet.espn.go.com/world-cup/story/_/id/5342246/ce/us/world-cup-lawmakers-french-coach-raymond-domenech-deflecting-blame?cc=5901&ver=us

113

Jokes / 5 year old enters job market

« on: June 20, 2010, 12:20:16 PM »

A FIVE YEAR OLD'S FIRST JOB...

Here's a truly heartwarming story about the bond formed between a  little 5-year-old girl and some construction workers that will make  you believe
that we all can make a difference when we give a child the gift of our time.

A young family moved into a house, next to a vacant lot. One day, a Construction crew turned up to start building a house on the empty  lot.

The young family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in  all the activity going on next door and spent much of each day  observing the
workers.

Eventually the construction crew, all of them "gems-in-the-rough,"  more or less, adopted her as a kind of project mascot. They chatted  with her,
let her sit with them while they had coffee and lunch breaks, and  gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important.

At the end of the first week, they even presented her with a pay envelope containing ten dollars. The little girl took this home to  her mother who
suggested that she take her ten dollars "pay" she'd received to the  bank the next day to start a savings account.

When the girl and her mom got to the bank, the teller was equally impressed and asked the little girl how she had come by her very own  pay check at
such a young age. The little girl proudly replied, "I worked last  week with a real construction crew building the new house next door  to us."

"Oh my goodness gracious," said the teller, "and will you be working  on the house again this week, too?"

The little girl replied, "I will, if those assholes at Home Depot  ever deliver the f**kin' drywall..."

114

2010 World Cup - South Africa / Commentators

« on: June 14, 2010, 07:06:35 AM »

John Helm who is the commentator for the Holland game, has to be one of the worst,
Most people mistake him for Martin Tuler (which is an insult to Tyler). He was the one who did not
know the offside rule on the opening game. He makes so many errors, talks lots of fluff (like US commentators), little insight into tactics and adjustments and sometimes makes one wonder what game
he watching. For example his comment on the own goal.

115

2010 World Cup - South Africa / Journalist Robbed

« on: June 09, 2010, 04:45:26 PM »

World Cup 2010: Three Foreign Journalists Robbed At Gunpoint In South Africa, Korean Man Strangled
Luckily no one got hurt.
By Luis Mira
Jun 9, 2010 6:00:00 AM

Two journalists from Portugal and one from Spain were last night victims to armed robbery in South Africa.

The three reporters, from Expresso, Global Noticias and Marca, were sleeping in their hotel located 15 km away from Magaliesburg when the robbers broke into their rooms at around 0400 BST.

They were robbed of laptops, passports, cameras, World Cup credentials and cellphones, but none of them were assaulted.

The trio are part of a group of 20 reporters staying at hotel complex Nutbush following the every move of the Portuguese national squad.

The fact that the hotel complex is isolated helped the gang, who jumped a fence to get inside, fleeing the scene after the robbery.

Antonio Simoes, one of the three reporters, told Lusa: "It was scary, it was two or three minutes tops, but it looked like hours. In the end, when they covered me and put a gun to my chest a second time, I thought: 'I'm dead'"

"When they left, they told me to remain silent and keep sleeping with the gun still pointed at me. I stayed a hour and a half inside the room waiting for daylight to get out.

"It is surreal putting us here, in a farm with no room phones or security. Where we have passed, we see high, electrified walls and security. It is unthinkable that they put us here."

Meanwhile, it is reported that South African police have arrested one of the suspects of the crime, after he was found through the signal of one of the stolen cellphones.

The incident will certainly increase security fears in South Africa just two days prior to the World Cup's big kick-off.

On June 2, a member of the SBS broadcasting crew was robbed at the restroom of a grocery store in Johanesburg, when three robbers broke in and strangled the man to steal his belongings while he was passed out.

Last Sunday, a reporter from a South Korean daily newspaper was reportedly robbed in the streets of Durban

116

Jokes / Poetry

« on: June 07, 2010, 12:47:24 PM »

The National Poetry Contest had come down to two semi-finalists: A
Yale graduate, and A Trini
>
>
> They were given a single word, then allowed two minutes to come up
> with a poem that contained the word.
>
> The word they were given was ' TIMBUKTU '.
>
> The Yale graduate steps to the microphone and said:
>
> 'SLOWLY ACROSS THE DESERT SAND
> TREKKED A LONELY CARAVAN.
> MEN ON CAMELS, TWO BY TWO
> DESTINATION - TIMBUKTU '.
>
> The crowd went crazy! No way could the Trini top that, they
> thought.
>
> The Trinbagonian calmly made his way to the microphone and
> recited:
>
>
> 'ME AND TIM AH HUNTIN' WENT,
> MET T'REE WHORES IN A POP-UP TENT.
> DEY WAS T'REE, AND WE WAS TWO,
> SO I BUCKED ONE, AND TIMBUKTU '!
>
> TheTrini won hands down.

117

2010 World Cup - South Africa / FIFA WC U17 in T&T and WC 2010

« on: June 06, 2010, 11:22:51 AM »

for those who rember France had a smooth playmaker number 10 Mourad Meghini. He decided to play for Algeria (land of his dad). He played a major role in the qualification, looking forward to seeing him in action again.

118

Football / Serie A

« on: May 09, 2010, 07:46:09 AM »

Inter running absolute riot and look in very convincing form. Milito just added a spice
of a chip to the tally! Title to Inter, 2 trophies for Inter and Mourinho 
Love him or hate him one of the best coaches in football, hands down 

119

Football / Lyon vs Bayern Semi

« on: April 27, 2010, 01:31:04 PM »

The pace this game is being played at is unbelievable. Talk about end to end.
Not only that but the speed of technique and receiving under tight pressure should be applauded
Nice game

120

Jokes / Who say so!

« on: April 23, 2010, 10:09:34 AM »

The Jamaican Maid

The Jamaican maid asked for a pay increase.
The wife was upset about this and decided to t al k to her about the raise.
She asked: 'Now Marie, why you feel you deserved a pay increase?'
Marie: 'Well, ma'am, three reasons why I want de increase.'
The first one, mi iron better than you'!
Wife: 'Who said you iron better than me?'
Marie: 'Your husband says so.'
Wife:  'Oh.'
Marie: 'The second reason........ah cooks better than you.'
Wife: 'Nonsense, who said you were a better cook than me?'
Marie: 'Your husband again'
Wife:    'Oh.'
Marie: 'My last reason is that I am a better lover than you..'
Wife: (really furious now): 'My husband says that as well??'
Marie: 'No ma'am, the Gardener.

Wife: 'How much yuh seh you want again?