31
Jokes / Re: Look what Shakira come to nah?
« on: September 18, 2006, 04:07:47 PM »
That blonde is beautiful. wow she is a babe
April 27, 2024, 07:34:36 AM
Show Posts
This section allows you to view all posts made by this member. Note that you can only see posts made in areas you currently have access to.
32
Football / Re: Racial chants leads to disciplinary committee in germany
« on: September 18, 2006, 01:51:14 PM »
Sickening. They should make them play behind closed doors for a start. That will hurt genuine fans unfortunately but something has to be done.
33
Jokes / Good dead of the day
« on: September 16, 2006, 03:13:23 PM »
This guy arrives at the Pearly Gates. He has to wait to be admitted, while St. Pete leafs through his Big Book.
He's checking to see if the guy is worthy of entry or not. Saint Peter goes through the books several times, furrows his brow, and says to the guy, "You know, I can't see that you did lots of good in your life but, you never did anything bad either.
Tell you what, if you can tell me of one REALLY good deed that you did in your life, you're in."
The guy thinks for a moment and says, "Well, there was this one time when I was drivin' down the highway and I saw a Biker Gang assaulting this poor girl. I slowed down my car to see what was going on, and sure enough, that's what they were doing. There were about 50 of 'em torturing this chick.
Infuriated, I got out my car, grabbed a tire iron from my trunk and walked straight up to the leader of the gang. He was a huge guy with a studded leather jacket and a chain running from his nose to his ear. As I walked up to the leader, the Gang formed a circle all around me.
So I ripped the leader's chain off his face and smashed him over the head with the tire iron. Then I turned around and yelled to the rest of them, 'Leave this poor, innocent girl alone, you slime! You're all a bunch of sick, deranged animals! Go home before I teach you all a lesson in pain!'"
St. Peter, extremely impressed, says, "Really? Wow, when did all this happen?"
"Er.. about two minutes ago."
He's checking to see if the guy is worthy of entry or not. Saint Peter goes through the books several times, furrows his brow, and says to the guy, "You know, I can't see that you did lots of good in your life but, you never did anything bad either.
Tell you what, if you can tell me of one REALLY good deed that you did in your life, you're in."
The guy thinks for a moment and says, "Well, there was this one time when I was drivin' down the highway and I saw a Biker Gang assaulting this poor girl. I slowed down my car to see what was going on, and sure enough, that's what they were doing. There were about 50 of 'em torturing this chick.
Infuriated, I got out my car, grabbed a tire iron from my trunk and walked straight up to the leader of the gang. He was a huge guy with a studded leather jacket and a chain running from his nose to his ear. As I walked up to the leader, the Gang formed a circle all around me.
So I ripped the leader's chain off his face and smashed him over the head with the tire iron. Then I turned around and yelled to the rest of them, 'Leave this poor, innocent girl alone, you slime! You're all a bunch of sick, deranged animals! Go home before I teach you all a lesson in pain!'"
St. Peter, extremely impressed, says, "Really? Wow, when did all this happen?"
"Er.. about two minutes ago."
34
Two zebras are talking and one asks the other, "Am I black with white
stripes or white with black stripes?" The other replies, "Well I don't
know. You should pray to God about that and ask him." So that night he did
and God replied, "You are what you are." The next day he said to the other
zebra, "I still don't understand what I am because God just said, You are
what you are." The second zebra responds, "You must be white with black
stripes or else God would have said, Yo is what yo is."
stripes or white with black stripes?" The other replies, "Well I don't
know. You should pray to God about that and ask him." So that night he did
and God replied, "You are what you are." The next day he said to the other
zebra, "I still don't understand what I am because God just said, You are
what you are." The second zebra responds, "You must be white with black
stripes or else God would have said, Yo is what yo is."
35
Jokes / Our local Rivals
« on: September 09, 2006, 12:08:22 PM »
At the other end of our City of Stoke on Trent is another football Club by the name of Stoke City. The football that they play is so diabolical that their fans normally end up doing this..... See video
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i-IPkH_tz1o
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i-IPkH_tz1o
36
chris ah feel de man in de car who stop to help was you,yuh buggerring bastard.lol
Erm, how did you find out?
37
Football / Re: Trinis in Action (September 9, 2006)
« on: September 09, 2006, 11:58:45 AM »
It's great to see Birchall score his first goal. Can't wait to see it on the Central news programme.
40
Jokes / Re: Look on the bright side?
« on: September 01, 2006, 02:45:43 PM »
Bejasus. That was luck for him
41
Jokes / Are there any farmers on here?
« on: September 01, 2006, 02:43:54 PM »
After years of milking cows with the traditional stool-and-squirt method, Farmer Giles finds he has enough money to order a high-tech milking machine. The equipment arrives a few days later and, realising his wife is out for the day, decides to test the machine on himself first.
After setting it up, he quickly eases his beef bayonet into the equipment and flicks the switch. The sucking teat pleasures him better than his wife ever could, but when it's over the machine will not release his member. In desperation, the farmer calls the Customer Service Hotline. "Hello," he winces, "I've just bought a milking machine from your company. It works fantastic, but, er, how do I remove it from the cow's udder?"
"Don't worry." Replies the rep. "The machine will release automatically once it's collected two gallons."
After setting it up, he quickly eases his beef bayonet into the equipment and flicks the switch. The sucking teat pleasures him better than his wife ever could, but when it's over the machine will not release his member. In desperation, the farmer calls the Customer Service Hotline. "Hello," he winces, "I've just bought a milking machine from your company. It works fantastic, but, er, how do I remove it from the cow's udder?"
"Don't worry." Replies the rep. "The machine will release automatically once it's collected two gallons."
42
Jokes / First one for a while. If it's been posted before I apologise.
« on: August 31, 2006, 12:03:27 PM »
Following a nasty car accident, a man's wife slips into a coma. After spending weeks at her bedside, the husband is summoned to the hospital. "It's amazing" says the Doctor, breathlessly. "While bathing your wife, one of the nurses noticed she responded to her breasts being touched."
The husband is very excited, and asks what he can do. "Well," says the doc, "if one erogenous zone provokes a response, perhaps the others will too." So the husband goes alone into the room, where he slips his hand under the covers and begins to massage her bits. Amazingly, the woman begins to move and even moan a little. The man tells the doctor, waiting outside. "Excellent!" he says. "If she responds like that to your finger, I think you should try oral sex." Nodding, the husband returns to the room - but within minutes the heart monitor alarms go off, and the medics pile into the room. "What happened?" shouts the doctor, as he checks the prone woman's pulse. "I'm not sure," replies the man, looking sheepish. "I think she choked."
The husband is very excited, and asks what he can do. "Well," says the doc, "if one erogenous zone provokes a response, perhaps the others will too." So the husband goes alone into the room, where he slips his hand under the covers and begins to massage her bits. Amazingly, the woman begins to move and even moan a little. The man tells the doctor, waiting outside. "Excellent!" he says. "If she responds like that to your finger, I think you should try oral sex." Nodding, the husband returns to the room - but within minutes the heart monitor alarms go off, and the medics pile into the room. "What happened?" shouts the doctor, as he checks the prone woman's pulse. "I'm not sure," replies the man, looking sheepish. "I think she choked."
43
Football / Re: To any Port Vale Fans on here
« on: August 25, 2006, 01:15:52 PM »
To every one on here. I don't get on the PC much due to the fact that I have two teenage daughters (twins) who spend most of their time keeping me off MY f**king computer so that they can talk to their boyfriends. TriniCana once called me an honorary Trini and that's the greatest honour I have ever received so rest assured I will be following TnT for ever and hopefully get to see them play. I would like to apologise for my jokes by the way
44
Football / To any Port Vale Fans on here
« on: August 24, 2006, 03:01:55 PM »
I know that Me Mum is now with Coventry which means that Port Vale do not now have a connection with Trinidad and Tobago which also means that there may be a few Trinis who no longer follow Vale's results but for those that are still interested I would like to inform them that Port Vale have won their first five games of the season, four in the league and one in the Mickey Mouse Cup (it used to be called the League Cup but with different sponsers over the years it has been called all kinds of names) We are all in a state of shock, well I am anyway. We are top of our league. At first I thought the league table was upside down because I couldn't believe that we were on top.
I just hope we keep up the momentum and I hope that all you good Trini people will give us a shout and visit onevalefan and give us good messages of support because we know that the Players visit the site and with messages from Trinis it will give them more confidence as they will be infected by the soca warrior spirit.
Love from PortValeChris AKA trent_vale_valiant
I just hope we keep up the momentum and I hope that all you good Trini people will give us a shout and visit onevalefan and give us good messages of support because we know that the Players visit the site and with messages from Trinis it will give them more confidence as they will be infected by the soca warrior spirit.
Love from PortValeChris AKA trent_vale_valiant
46
Jokes / A First World War joke
« on: August 21, 2006, 01:01:01 PM »
At the start of World War One, a father approaches his son to explain he has to go to fight for his country. Nodding, his son asks that on his return could he bring back a souvenir from the battlefields – perhaps a German helmet. ‘You know,’ says the boy, ‘One with a spike on top.’ And so, weeks later the man is out on the mud-soaked fields of Flanders, when he spies a German helmet lying in the mud. Bending down to pick it up, he finds it stuck fast; as he grasps the spike for a better grip, he realizes there is a German soldier still attached underneath. ‘Bitte, pull me out,’ says the soldier, through the grime. ‘If I pull you out,’ says the Brit, ‘can I have your helmet for my son?’ ‘Ja – be my guest!’ comes the German’s cheerful reply. And so, with great effort, he begins to pull the soldier from the ground. But, after half an hour, he’s still only managed to get him up to his waist. ‘I’m bloody knackered,’ he says, catching his breath. ‘Vud it help,’ replies the German soldier, ‘Iff I took my feet out of der stirrups?
47
Jokes / Re: Cocksillus
« on: August 19, 2006, 03:34:02 AM » He should have told him to drink the rum last.
49
Driving his car through the countryside, a middle-aged man spots a naked youth with his arms tied around the trunk of a tree. The driver slows and winds his window down and he hears the naked lad wailing for help. After looking around to check he's not getting into some sort of trap, he gets out of his car to investigate. ‘Oh, thank God!’ the young man cries. ‘I've had a terrible day!’ ‘I can see that,’ says the driver, noticing the bruises and whip-marks on the young man's back. ‘What on earth happened to you?’ ‘Well,’ moans the young man, ‘I was driving along when I saw this young woman in a pair of cut-offs and a bra hitch-hiking. I stopped to give her a lift, and as soon as I jumped out to put her rucksack in the boot two enormous blokes jumped out of the undergrowth, stripped me, tied me up and beat me, stole all my belongings and drove off in my car.’ ‘Oh dear, gorgeous,’ says the driver, unbuckling his belt. ‘It's just not your day, is it?’
50
Jokes / By far the greatest magician I have ever seen. Enjoy lads and lezzas.
« on: August 17, 2006, 04:42:48 PM »51
Football / Re: Coventry City Fan
« on: August 14, 2006, 03:50:27 PM »
La Diablesse. I think I maried her sister 
52
Jokes / Silence in court!!!
« on: August 14, 2006, 03:41:08 PM »
Having heard from the jury, the judge asked the accused serial killer to stand. ‘You have been found guilty of murdering your postman with a hedge strimmer,’ he said, sternly. ‘You lying bastard!’ screamed a man in the gallery, leaping to his feet. The judge stared in astonishment, before turning back to the killer to continue with his verdict: ‘You are also guilty of killing a housewife with a garden fork.’ ‘You miserable shit!’ yelled the man, again leaping to his feet. ‘Sir,’ the judge said, ‘I am seconds away from charging you with bringing the court into disrepute. Kindly explain your outrageous interruptions.’ ‘I lived next door to that bastard for 20 years,’ the man snarled, ‘and did he ever have a garden tool when I needed one?’
53
Jokes / I'll have to try this when my daughter uses a taxi cab or something
« on: August 14, 2006, 03:35:56 PM »Two young travellers are braving their way across Mexico behind the wheel of an old van, when they come across a group of bandits standing behind a roadblock. The head honcho walks around to the door, sticks a gun into their faces and says, ‘Start masturbating, gringos!’ Shocked, but fearing for their lives, the pair duly oblige – and, despite the stress, manage to perform. As soon as they finish, the bandit chief leans in and demands: ‘Again!’ They manage a repeat performance, but are then told to continue until, tired and sore, the pair are physically incapable of another erection. ‘Good work,’ smiles the toothless Mexican as a dark figure emerges from the trees. ‘Now drive my sister to the nearest town.’
54
Football / Re: Newcastle/Sheffield United wanted Birchall to quit T&T
« on: August 14, 2006, 12:38:46 PM »
Well said Birchallsgirl
55
Football / Re: Coventry City Fan
« on: August 14, 2006, 12:32:22 PM »
Great post. I hope Chris Me Mum Birchall does the business for you and I hope we don't miss him. At the moment we have won three out of three and we are top of our division but it's early days yet. Welcome to the site. I joined late last year but I only meant to stay for a short while but these trinis they won't let me go.
56
Football / Re: Trinis in Action (August 12, 2006)
« on: August 12, 2006, 11:40:49 AM »
It seems strange not seeing Port Vale in the list 
57
Jokes / Open Question
« on: August 08, 2006, 04:44:19 PM »
A couple of newlyweds are strolling along the beach one morning on honeymoon in Australia. Suddenly the husband spots a fat woman, stark naked, sitting legs akimbo, gorging herself on a fresh watermelon. Excited, he imagines his wife in the same position, and asks her if she would like to feel the sea breeze wafting between her legs? The wife looks at him in disgust. The next day, they take the same walk, and sure enough the naked woman is there again slobbering over a slice of watermelon. Unperturbed by his wife’s earlier refusal, the husband asks again if his bride would like to adopt the large woman’s stance and feel the cool air circulate against her fanny? Again, she declines. This happens everyday for two weeks, until the very last day, when yet again they spot the naked, fat woman. ‘Don’t you want to know how it feels to have your privates cooled by the salty air?’ the husband enquires. And again his missus gets the hump. ‘Well, if you’re not prepared to try it, why don’t you ask her how it feels and see if she can persuade you?’ Reluctantly his wife agrees and walks over to the open-legged bloater. ‘Er, excuse me, but my husband and I were wondering how it must feel to have the sea breeze wafting over your vagina?’ she asked nervously. ‘Ah, strewth, I don’t know,’ says the woman. ‘But it sure keeps the flies off my watermelon.’
58
Jokes / Domestic economics
« on: August 08, 2006, 04:42:29 PM »
A newly married couple get their first taste of financial hardship when, one day, the husband comes home, and announces he's redundant. Being a proud man and believing that he should always support his wife, his pride is somewhat hurt. His wife, however, assures him that he still loves him, and that things will get better. Unfortunately they do not, and when the wife suggests that perhaps she should try to find a job, the husband humbly agrees. But things are not well in jobland, and soon the wife realizes that the only option left to her is to go on the game. She assures her husband that it is merely a job, and will not affect their relationship. Soon after placing some ads in the local phone boxes, the wife receives her first prospective client. The husband agrees to wait upstairs whilst the client comes round and conducts his business with the wife in the couple's lounge. The visitor is eager to know how much it costs for ‘the full works’, and in her nervousness the wife has completely forgotten to discuss prices with her husband. She dashes upstairs and asks him. ‘Twenty quid,’ he replies. The visitor appears disappointed at this news, claiming he has only got £7. So he asks what he could get for that. The wife dashes upstairs again. ‘He's only got £7, what should we do?’ she asks. ‘Tell him he can have a hand job for that, but no more,’ replies the desperate husband. The client seems delighted at what the wife has to tell him when she returns, and drops his pants to reveal a huge long cock that is the best-looking specimen the wife has ever seen. Instantly, she runs upstairs to her husband yet again. ‘What's the matter now?’ he asks. The wife replies, ‘Can you lend me £13?’
59
Football / Re: Sky Blues secure T&T's Chris Birchall.
« on: August 07, 2006, 11:07:32 AM »birchall played well yesterday
Us at Vale wish him all the best at Coventry and he did do a statement and he said he would come back to see us play x
I hope he does come back to Vale Park so that we can give him the standing ovation that he deserves.
60
Jokes / Well, she would ask.
« on: August 05, 2006, 01:09:39 PM »
From the day of their wedding, Sarah has been nagging her husband about his past. ‘Come on, tell me,’ she asks again, ‘how many women have you slept with?’ ‘Pet, ‘ he says, ‘if I told you, you’d just get angry.’ ‘No, I promise I won’t,’ she begs. ‘Well, If you insist. Let’s see. One … two … three … four … you … six … seven …’