I eh know how much of all yuh does read Maxim (I am a subscriber) but they had a list of the top 10 parties in the world and we made the cut.
SONGKRAN
Chiang Mai, Thailand, April 13–15, 2006
The party: Locals ring in the Thai new year by drenching anyone within throwing range with water fired from guns, poured from buckets, or pitched out of garbage cans and oil drums hoisted into truck beds. Everyone’s a potential victim, including senior citizens, babies balanced on motorcycle handlebars (ah, the simple freedoms in countries with no insurance lobby), unsuspecting tourists, and even the gorgeous finalists of festival beauty pageants. “Think of this as Mad Max with high-powered water guns,” says Bangkok-based expat Paul Ehrlich. And not quite so much murder.
Inside move: If you want to get thoroughly soaked, “Stand around the Tha Phae Gate,” says Ehrlich. If you’d rather be on the offensive, think about where to position yourself…preferably next to a reliable alcohol depot. “We stood outside a bar with a massive vat of ice water and doused people,” says Sheila Woodbridge, a veteran of the madness. “It turned into a huge water war with the lady-boys at a neighboring bar dancing on tables and squealing after every icy bucket.”
Make sure to bring: Swim trunks and a Super Soaker.
Local fuel: Though rumors that it contains amphetamines aren’t true, the cheap, rice-based Mekong Whiskey keeps the hordes flying throughout the festival.
Information: Tourism Authority of Thailand, 213-382-2353; tourismthailand.org
IBIZA CLOSING PARTIES
Ibiza, Spain, September 16–23, 2006
The party: The grand finale of the nightlife season on Europe’s most infamous party isle, where the continent’s finest talent gyrate in massive rave-style clubs. “This is your last chance to go crazy on the island, and it’s arguably the most hedonistic week of the year,” says Kirk Field, director of U.K.-based Radical Escapes, which specializes in clubbing tours to Ibiza. The major clubs—Amnesia, Space, and Privilege, to name a few—close on different nights, so the parties are staggered over a week.
Inside move: Clubbing in Ibiza means following rules. Rule one: Never, ever show up before midnight. “The best time to show up is 1 A.M. to 3 A.M.,” says Field. Rule two: Never show up at the door and try to buy a ticket on the spot. “They have you by the balls and will charge you a fortune,” says Field. And make sure to organize a ride home. It’s easy to get a taxi to a club, but good luck getting one at the end of the night, when 4,000 people are competing for a cab.
Make sure to bring: A tan and well-defined pecs, or a baggy shirt to cover it all up.
Local fuel: Whatever the sun-bronzed bombshell next to you at the bar is drinking.
Information: Buy advance tickets from ibiza-spotlight.com or sign up for an organized tour at radicalescapes.info.
MIDSUMMER NIGHT
Norway, June 23, 2006; Sweden, June 24, 2006
The party: Take a couple of nations’ worth of supermodels, keep them indoors all winter, set them loose under a sun that never really sets, and what do you get? Thousands of drunk hot bodies who can’t wait to get naked. “Norwegians just enjoy taking their clothes off at Midsummer,” Norwegian-born model Veronica Trollerud explains. That’s why most young people seek out the nearest body of water, light a bonfire, get drunk, and pretend they’re married by finding some random person to sleep with.
Inside move: Norway has its party on the shortest night of the year, while the Swedes save theirs for the weekend. Hit the southern Norway coast first, then dash to Sweden the next day. “In Norway the party is best from Larvik to Tønsberg—the island of Hvalø is crazy,” says Sindre Østgård of Norwegian Broadcasting. “The fjords look like a swarm of huge fireflies, with thousands of fires burning while people drink, skinny-dip, and have passionate sex with someone they haven’t met before.” Next day, hop the ferry at Sandefjord for a $5 trip to Strömstad in Sweden.
What to bring: A gift of beer will let you hitch a ride on someone’s boat.
Local fuel: Aass beer, which tastes better than it sounds.
Information: goscandinavia.com
HOLI
New Delhi, India, March 14, 2006
The party: This psychedelic bash heralds the arrival of springtime by attracting the type of teeming crowds only one of the most hectic, densely populated countries in the world can muster—all to get high and lob water balloons and spray colored water at each other. Glassy-eyed gangs of exuberant revelers roam the streets looking to annihilate one another with the green, pink, yellow, and red dye bombs.
Inside move: Have bad aim or just want to cop a feel? Skipping the balloons and smearing each other with gulal (dye) is perfectly acceptable, especially after getting dosed up with bhang, Holi’s most popular indulgent. As with Grandma’s meat loaf, everyone has his own recipe, but most involve mashing marijuana leaves and buds with milk and a butter called ghee. It’s easy to score on the streets. “Bhang is legal at Holi,” says Sudeep Sen, author of Postmarked India. “Residents set up roadside stalls where they serve it along with bhang-tinged sweetmeats.” Yum!
Make sure to bring: A change of clothes and echinacea, in case you need to do a drug test when you come back.
Best local fuel: Bhang can be ordered as a “bhang lassi” or “thandai,” which is just another excuse to consume everyone’s favorite narcotic.
Information: holifestival.org
OKTOBERFEST
Munich, Germany, Sept. 16–Oct. 3, 2006
The party: At the world’s largest beer festival, normally humorless Germans sink millions of pints of suds down their necks and scarf their weight in pork. During this two-week span, fully 30 percent of all the beer brewed annually in Munich’s six breweries is served inside one of 14 massive tents. “One time we got into a beer tent around noon and people were already falling off the tables drunk,” says Kevin Singer, who has been three times.
Inside move: Having fun at Oktoberfest means finding the right tent. “The Hofbräu tent is mostly for tourists,” says Eva von Schaper, a Munich local. “Bräurosl is gay, Schottenhamel is young and trendy, and Käfers Wiesn-Schänke is upscale.” Tent admission is free, but you need to show up early and plant your ass in a chair to be served. “By noon the tents are full, and they shut the doors,” says Singer. “You can sneak in through a side or back door. If you’re persistent, you’ll get lucky.”
Make sure to bring: An iron bladder.
Local fuel: Among local grogs, Spaten Oktoberfest is tapped first each year.
Information: oktoberfest.de
LAS FALLAS
Valencia, Spain, March 15–19, 2006
The party: Proving that all Spaniards are closet pyros, locals spend a year building elaborate papier-mâché sculptures (a.k.a. fallas), which are then torched while the whole city gets sloshed on sangría. “Imagine a Disneyland where you’re expected to get drunk and stoned and set the attractions on fire,” says festivalgoer and former Madrid resident Andrew Glazer.
Inside move: During the lead-up to the party, public boozing and dancing build momentum in the streets. The hottest action is in the historic district. If you’re crafty (and cheap) like Glazer, you can bum beer, paella, and sangría off welcoming locals. If you’re not a complete sponge, the better strategy is to carry around some food or drink to share—a sure way to guarantee a hearty Spanish welcome wherever you stumble. The huge sculptures usually lampoon local and international politicians or depict psychedelic cartoon figures, so pick a favorite and settle in.
Make sure to bring: A reliable wingman. “Two of my friends disappeared for a few hours and reappeared dressed as Keebler elves,” Glazer says. “Some old queen had taken them back to his apartment, gotten them high on hash, and dressed them up.”
Local fuel: Sangría, the strong-like-a-bull blend of red wine, brandy, and fruit.
Information: fallas.com
CARNAVAL
Salvador, Brazil, February 23–28, 2006
The party: Tourists may flock to Rio, but this is Brazil’s authentic pagan Carnaval. It’s also the biggest street party in the world, according to the wild-man stat trackers at the Guinness Book. During Carnaval, the city reserves 16 solid miles of streets for six days of parades and two million partyers.
Inside move: Bands of musicians and dancers lead blocos made up of thousands of people. Joining a bloco is the best way to “experience the parade,” i.e., dance hip-to-hip through the streets with barely dressed babes from all over South America. Buy an abadá (colored T-shirt) to join a bloco. Hoping to attract some exotic booty? Then act like an uninhibited local. “You need to make eye contact and be aggressive,” advises Santiago Mejia of Miami-based travel company Tours Gone Wild. And be sure to stick to the 15-minute rule. “If you’re dancing or talking to a Brazilian girl, you have to kiss her within the first 15 minutes. Kissing is like a handshake or a high five; it’s no big deal, but it’s expected.”
Make sure to bring: An appreciation for asses. In Brazil the perfect backside is a more potent sexual asset than large breasts. The Portuguese word for booty is bunda. A big one is a bundão; a small one is a bundinha.
Local fuel: Cachaça, a homegrown hooch made from sugarcane that makes tequila seem like mother’s milk.
Information: carnaval.salvador.ba.gov.br
DAYTONA 500
Daytona Beach, Florida, Feb. 19, 2006
The party: The 500-mile, 200-lap finale of Speedweeks is basically an excuse to pound beer and ogle tons of women sporting Daisy Dukes in the Florida sun. The Speedway’s 180-acre infield becomes the unofficial Daytona tailgater, a mini-city hellbent on cranking Metallica and consuming as much moonshine as possible.
Inside move: Reserve a space (386-253-7223; five-day vehicle passes start at $700), camp out in a camper, RV, or van, and haul in plenty of beer and barbecue equipment. If wading through overflowing Porta-Johns bums you out, buy a ticket for the Nextel FanZone, says Brian Wilder, president of North Carolina–based Premiere Sports Travel. “The FanZone sits right on Pit Road,” he says. Most tracks keep fans away from cars and drivers, but the catwalk here allows fans to peer down on teams prepping for the race.
Make sure to bring: Toilet paper and sunscreen.
Local fuel: NASCAR is one nation under Bud, at least until some other sponsor steps in.
Information: daytonaspeedway.com
HOGMANAY
Edinburgh, Scotland, December 31
The party: If you think slipping on vomit-covered New York streets and waiting for a sparkly crystal ball to slide down a flagpole sounds fun, give Dick Clark a call. To tear up New Year’s like a man, brave Scotland’s testicle-shrinking winter and join 100,000 scotch-swigging lunatics in the streets of one of the U.K.’s coolest cities to swap spit with strangers and have your ears blasted at concerts by superstar bands like Franz Ferdinand and Moby.
Inside move: Hogmanay’s free, but you still need a ticket to get in (call +44-131-473-2000). Order early, ’cause they get snagged up fast. You’ll need a separate ticket for the Concert in the Gardens, held under Edinburgh Castle. Too late? Philip Crombie, who grew up in Edinburgh, advises heading to Princes Street, where you can hear the music for free. To cure your certain hangover, join the Loony Dook on January 1, a dunk in the icy Firth of Forth.
Make sure to bring: Long underwear. “Don’t wear a kilt if you’re inexperienced—it’s a long, long day, and you’ll end up with a bleedin’ boaby!” says Scot Kenny Gibson, who just laughs when we ask him what the hell that means.
Local fuel: Drambuie, which contains honey to coat the throat (also good for rugby matches).
Information: edinburghshogmanay.org
CARNIVAL
Port-of-Spain, Trinidad, Feb. 27–28, 2006
The party: The debauched street party hosted by former track-and-field powerhouse Trinidad and Tobago is the same pagan ritual celebrated in Brazil. But this one features steel-drum bands and ceaseless public grinding acts of simulated copulation (a.k.a. dancing) between strangers…and that’s just in your hotel lobby.
Inside move: The quintessential party is J’Ouvert, a bizarre bash that kicks off at 2 A.M. on Carnival Monday. Flatbeds laden with nightclubs’ worth of sound systems cruise the streets followed by crowds of booze-fueled dancers who splatter paint and mud on each other. “It’s a free-for-all,” says partygoer Sabrina Parker. “Everyone comes up to you and dances, and the women are wearing what guys wish they would wear—a thong and not much else.”
Make sure to bring: Stamina.
Local fuel: Carib beer, purchased from roving child vendors.
Information: visittnt.com
