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Author Topic: Colleges and Government Schools In Trinidad  (Read 657 times)

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Offline trinidad badboy

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Colleges and Government Schools In Trinidad
« on: January 23, 2006, 10:33:51 PM »
For the unaware, there is a slight difference between colleges and Government schools in Trinidad. The Ministry of Education has realised this and has revised the secondary Math Exam papers accordingly.

Attached are the most recent math exam papers for your reference.

MATH TEST FOR COMPREHENSIVES

Name _____________________________

Nickname__________________________

Gang Name________________________

1. Simon has 0.5 kilos of cocaine. If he sells an 8 ball to Matt for $2500 and 90 grams to John for $5000, what is the street value of the rest of his hold?

2. Damon pimps 3 bitches. If the price is $50 a ride, how many jobs per day must each bitch perform to support Damon's $500 a day coke habit?

3. Crackster wants to cut the kilo of cocaine he bought for $10,000 to make a 20% profit. How many ounces of baking soda will he need?

4. Kerwyn got 6 years for murder. He also got $350,000 for the hit. If his common law wife spends $15,000 per month, how much money will be left when he gets out? Extra Credit Bonus: How much more time will Kerwyn get for killing the ho that spent his money?

5. If an average can of spray paint covers 22 square metres and the average letter is 1 square metre, how many letters can be sprayed with eight fluid ounce cans of spray paint with 20% extra paint free?

6. Liam steals Jordan's skateboard. As Liam skates away at a speed of 35mph, Jordan loads his brother's Uzi 9mm. If it takes Jordan 20 seconds to load the gun, how far will Liam have traveled when he gets riddled?

MATH TEST FOR COLLEGES

Name
__________________________________________

School __________________________________________

Daddy's/Mummy's business __________________________________________

1. Harry smashes up the old man's car, causing 'x' amount of damage and killing 3 people. The old man asks the police commissioner to intervene in the court system, then forges his insurance claim and receives a payment of 'y'. The difference between 'x' and 'y' is three times the life insurance settlement for the three dead people. What kind of car is Harry driving now?

2. Fiona's maid decides to substitute generic and local products for the designer goods favoured by her employer. In the course of a month she saves the price of a return ticket to Miami and Fiona doesn't even notice the difference. Is she dumb or what?

3. Anthony fancies the arse off a certain number of convent girls, but he only has enough Rohypnol left to render 33.3% unconscious. If he has 14 vials of Rohypnol, how is he ever going to dig the other two thirds?

4. If Verity throws up 4 times a day for a week she can fit into a size 8 Versace. If she only throws up 3 times a day for two weeks, she has to make do with a size 10 Dolce & Gabbana. How much does liposuction in Miami cost?

5. Jude is unsure about his sexuality. Three days a week he fancies women. On the other days he fancies men, ducks and vacuum cleaners. However, he only has access to the Hoover every third week. When will he become a interior designer?



Offline real madness

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Re: Colleges and Government Schools In Trinidad
« Reply #1 on: February 05, 2006, 12:39:13 PM »
Very funny.