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Author Topic: Big people words  (Read 680 times)

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Offline PortValeChris

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Big people words
« on: January 25, 2006, 04:07:39 PM »
A class of kindergartners were trying very hard to become accustomed to
the first grade. The biggest hurdle they faced was that the teacher insisted on NO baby talk! "You need to use 'Big People' words," she was always reminding them.
She asked Chris what he had done over the weekend? "I went to visit my Nana."
"No, you went to visit your GRANDMOTHER. Use 'Big people' words!"
She then asked Mitchell what he had done."I took a ride on a choo-choo," Mitchell says proudly.She said "No, you took a ride on a TRAIN.
You must remember to use 'Big People' words." She then asked little Johnny what he had done. "I read a book," he replied."That's wonderful, Johnny. What book did you read?"
Johnny thought real hard, then puffed out his chest with great pride and said,
"Winnie the Shit."

PortValeChris  AKA The Former TVV from onevalefan. 

Port Vale  We want ah goal!!


To market, to market, with my uncle Jim
Somebody threw a tomato at him
Now, Tomatoes don't hurt with their soft juicy skin
But this one it knackered, 'cause it come in a tin

Offline capodetutticapi

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Re: Big people words
« Reply #1 on: January 25, 2006, 05:21:29 PM »
ah love lil johnny. :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:
soon ah go b ah lean mean bulling machine.

Offline palos

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Re: Big people words
« Reply #2 on: January 25, 2006, 06:24:24 PM »
A nex Lil Johnny special....

LITTLE JOHNNY ON SEX

Little Johnny walked into his dad's bedroom one day only to catch him sitting on the side of his bed sliding a condom onto his penis in preparation for sex with his wife. 

Johnny's father in attempt to hide his full erection with a condom on it bent over as if to look under the bed. Little Johnny asked curiously,
"What  ya doin dad?"

His father quickly replied, "I thought I saw a rat go underneath the bed."

To which Little Johnny replied "What ya gonna do, f**k him?"


LITTLE JOHNNY ON WORD ASSOCIATION

Little Johnny's teacher had an exercise for the class.  Starting with the letter "A", students were to make a word with beggining with "A" and then construct a short sentence.

Teacher - "OK Class.  Who wants to start with the letter "A"

Johnny's hand was first up in the air and he was saying "Me Miss, Me!!"

Given the teacher's past experiences with Lil Johnny she figured he would use a word like ASS or something so she chose someone else.

Teacher - "OK Suzette.  Give me a word that begins with the letter "A" and then form a sentence."

Suzette - "A is for Apple.  I have an Apple for lunch today.

Teacher was beaming and asked the class to give Suzette a round of applause

Teacher - OK...Next word begins with "B" and please form a sentence afterward

Little Johnny hand again in the air but teacher thinking to herself "'no way...he go say sumting wit BITCH or sumting" so instead she choose Andre.

Andre - "B is for Ball.  I kicked the ball at football practice yesterday".

More rounds of applause.

Teacher - "Ok Class...now for "C".

Well Little Johnny like he cyah contain heself.  Johnny jumpin up and down like a madman bawlin "Me Miss, Me!!!".

De teacher tellin sheself "Hell NO! I could imagine wha "C" word Johnny go use." So she pick Sarah instead.

Sarah - "C is for Candle.  I lit a candle in my room last night"

More applause for Sarah.

So the teacher continues all the way down the alphabet and Lil Johnny keeps putting up his hand but she rejects every letter especially "F".

Finally..she gets to the letter "U" and asks for any volunteers.  This time no hands are up except for Litle Johnny own.  She thinks long and hard and figures...this is about as safe a letter as can be.  So she says "ok Johnny..please form a word beginning with the letter "U" and make a sentence."

Little Johnny - "Miss..."U" is for Unanimous!"

The teacher was very impressed.  She said "WOW Johnny.  I must say I am VERY proud of you.  Class, that was excellent!  Now Johnny, please form a sentence with the word "unanimous"

Little Johnny - "U Nanny Mus wash every day or else it go smell stink!!!"

The teacher fainted.



« Last Edit: January 25, 2006, 06:26:37 PM by palos »
Carlos "The Rolls Royce" Edwards