Blonde LOGIC Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting
on a bench talking........
and one blonde says to the other, "Which
do you think is farther
away..........Florida or the moon?"
The other blonde turns and says "Helloooooooo,
can you see
Florida...
"
CAR TROUBLE A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station.
She tells the mechanic it
died.? After he works on it for a few minutes,
it is idling
smoothly. She says, "What's
the story?"
He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor"
She asks, "How often do I have to do
that?"
SPEEDING TICKET A police officer stops a blonde for speeding
and asks her very nicely if
he could see her license.
She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys
would get your act together.
Just yesterday you take away my license and
then today you expect me to
show it to you!"
RIVER WALK There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes
to a river and sees
another blonde? on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo!"
she shouts, "How can I
get to the other side?"
The second blonde looks up the river then
down the river and shouts
back, "You ARE on the other side."
AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's
office and said that
her body hurt wherever she touched it.
"Impossible!" says the doctor.?
"Show me"
The redhead took her finger, pushed on her
left breast and screamed,
then she pushed her elbow and screamed in
even more. She pushed her knee
and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle
and screamed.
Everywhere she touched made her scream.
The doctor said, "You're not really
a redhead, are you?
"Well, no" she said, "I'm
actually a blonde."
"I thought so," the doctor said.?
"Your finger is broken."
KNITTING A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding
car on the freeway.
Glancing at the car, he was astounded to
see that the blonde behind the
wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was
oblivious to his flashing
lights and siren, the trooper cranked down
his window, turned on his
bullhorn and yelled, "PULL OVER!"
"NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S
A SCARF!"
BLONDE ON THE SUN A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were
talking one day. The Russian
said, "We were the first in space!"
The American said, "We were the first
on the moon!"
The Blonde said, "So what? We're going
to be the first on the sun!"
The Russian and the American looked at each
other and shook their heads.
"You can't land on the sun, you idiot!
You'll burn up!"? said the
Russian.
To which the Blonde replied, "We're
not stupid, you know.? We're going
at night!"
IN A VACUUM A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one
night. It was her turn.
She rolled the dice and she landed on Science
&Nature. Her question was,
"If you are in a vacuum and someone
calls your name, can you hear it?"
She thought for a time and then asked, "Is
it on or off?"