Author Topic: WORLD CUP FOOTBALL - LIST OF TV RULES (Read 8560 times)

Reaper2004 · « **on:** April 25, 2006, 11:01:29 AM »

Rules for Wives and Girlfriends:

1. From 9 June to 9 July 2006, you should read the sports section of the newspaper so that you are aware of what is going on regarding the World Cup, and that way you will be able to join in the conversations. If you fail to do this, then you will be looked at in a bad way, or you will be totally ignored. DO NOT complain about not receiving any attention.

2. During the World Cup the television is mine, at all times, without any exceptions. If you even take a glimpse of the remote control, you will lose it (your eye).

3. If you have to pass by in front of the TV during a game, I don't mind, as long as you do it crawling on the floor and without distracting me. If you decide to stand nude in front of the TV, make sure you put clothes on right after because if you catch a cold I won't have time to take you to the doctor or look after you during the World Cup month.

4. During the games, I will be blind, deaf and mute, unless I require a refill of my drink or something to eat. You are out of your mind if you expect me to listen to you, open the door, answer the telephone, or pick up the baby that just fell from the second floor....it won't happen.

5. It would be a good idea for you to keep at least 2 six packs in the fridge at all times, as well as plenty of things to nibble on, and please do not make any funny faces to my friends when they come over to watch the games. In return, you will be allowed to use the TV between 12am and 6am, unless they replay a good game that I missed during the day.

6. Please, please, please (!!) if you see me upset because one of my teams is losing, DO NOT say "get over it, it’s only a game", or "don't worry, they'll win next time". If you say these things, you will only make me angrier and I will love you less. Remember, you will never ever know more about football than me and your so called "words of encouragement" will only lead to a break up or divorce.

7. You are welcome to sit with me to watch one game and you can talk to me during halftime but only when the commercials are on, and only if the halftime score is pleasing me. In addition, please note I am saying "one" game, hence do not use the World Cup as a nice cheesy excuse to "spend time together".

8. The replays of the goals are very important. I don't care if I have seen them or I haven't seen them, I want to see them again. Many times.

9. Tell your friends NOT to have any babies, or any other child related parties or gatherings that requires my attendance because:

a) I will not go,

b) I will not go, and

c) I will not go.

10. But, if a friend of mine invites us to his house on a Sunday to watch a game, we will be there in a flash.

11. The daily World Cup highlights show on TV every night is just as important as the games themselves. Do not even think about saying "but you have already seen this...why don't you change the channel to something we can all watch??" the reply will be: "Refer to Rule #2 of this list".

sin · « **Reply #1 on:** April 25, 2006, 11:24:24 AM »

Rules for Husbands/Boyfriends/Objects of Gape:

1) Don't be patronising. If you question my ability to argue with you over who the T&T starting keeper will be, I will be forced to go left-footed on your ass.

2) Don't make the mistake of uttering the words, "you're just watching football to check out fellahs." I watch football for the fancy footwork. The sexy legs are just an added bonus. Besides, if you annoy me next thing you know I will leave you for Carlos and you could salt at home with your remote control

3) If you even think about changing the channel - "just in case SkySports/BBC/ITV have a better angle" - I will throw all of your clothes out the window. Lack of suitable attire will not be an excuse for you not to run outside and fix the cable if it breaks down.

4) During the games, I will tolerate your outbursts/crying like a girl if you agree not to expect me to cook/clean/wash clothes/acknowledge your existence for the duration of the Cup

5) You will not touch my carefully prepared stash of food and incohol. Especially not my Appleton. You will treat my female friends with the same respect that you will accord me as per these regulations. Especially since most of them could kick ball better than you, anyway

6) When you recover from your weeping over Sealy's missed penalty/Jack's fumbled corner and realise that I have left to go cheer myself up elsewhere, do not attempt to to ring me on either my Bmobile or my digicel because I will just hangup.

7) Do not assume that I will have time to talk to you during halftime or commericals. I will be too busy blogging or posting to this forum.

8. Do not expect me to share my carefully downloaded YouTube replays. Wait for skins to organise you with your own compilation.

9) Tell your boys to stop hitting on my friends

10) If one of my pardners organises me with a World Cup ticket, I - and not you - will be there in a flash.

11) Talk done.

trinbago · « **Reply #2 on:** April 25, 2006, 11:25:46 AM »

Ah love it !!

Here is what fellaz.....I goin and do this and ah tink everyone else on here should do the same.....

Print out a copy of this: Rules for Wives and Girlfriends

And

1. Give one personally to the wife/girlfriend
2. Stick one up on the fridge
3. Stick one below the tv screen in case you need to point to it to remind that special someone of the rules

SHOTTA · « **Reply #3 on:** April 25, 2006, 11:40:42 AM »

for the wives and girlfrens 2 5 6 and 8 very important

and as for stacy marie u marrid cuz i lookin fo a woman like u longgggg time

Grande · « **Reply #4 on:** April 25, 2006, 12:10:17 PM »

BOTH posts take win

stacy that was an excellent reubuttal

i wish i knew a woman who like football so

andre samuel · « **Reply #5 on:** April 25, 2006, 12:12:56 PM »

these should be stickys!!

ah love it!! (watch it trinbago!!)

Reaper2004 · « **Reply #6 on:** April 25, 2006, 12:15:29 PM »

Quote from: stacy-marie on April 25, 2006, 11:24:24 AM

Rules for Husbands/Boyfriends/Objects of Gape:

1) Don't be patronising. If you question my ability to argue with you over who the T&T starting keeper will be, I will be forced to go left-footed on your ass.

2) Don't make the mistake of uttering the words, "you're just watching football to check out fellahs." I watch football for the fancy footwork. The sexy legs are just an added bonus. Besides, if you annoy me next thing you know I will leave you for Carlos and you could salt at home with your remote control

3) If you even think about changing the channel - "just in case SkySports/BBC/ITV have a better angle" - I will throw all of your clothes out the window. Lack of suitable attire will not be an excuse for you not to run outside and fix the cable if it breaks down.

4) During the games, I will tolerate your outbursts/crying like a girl if you agree not to expect me to cook/clean/wash clothes/acknowledge your existence for the duration of the Cup

5) You will not touch my carefully prepared stash of food and incohol. Especially not my Appleton. You will treat my female friends with the same respect that you will accord me as per these regulations. Especially since most of them could kick ball better than you, anyway

6) When you recover from your weeping over Sealy's missed penalty/Jack's fumbled corner and realise that I have left to go cheer myself up elsewhere, do not attempt to to ring me on either my Bmobile or my digicel because I will just hangup.

7) Do not assume that I will have time to talk to you during halftime or commericals. I will be too busy blogging or posting to this forum.

8. Do not expect me to share my carefully downloaded YouTube replays. Wait for skins to organise you with your own compilation.

9) Tell your boys to stop hitting on my friends

10) If one of my pardners organises me with a World Cup ticket, I - and not you - will be there in a flash.

11) Talk done.

*bows* BRILLIANT!!!! LMAO!! JUS FRAKKING BRILLIANT!!!!!!!

trinbago · « **Reply #7 on:** April 25, 2006, 12:20:09 PM »

Quote from: andre samuel on April 25, 2006, 12:12:56 PM

these should be stickys!!

ah love it!! (watch it trinbago!!)

Gosh man...ah take ah lil burrow !!

Rastaman · « **Reply #8 on:** April 25, 2006, 01:10:57 PM »

Ok I just e-mailed this to my wife so check later...If I still online is because I still ALIVE...!!

morvant · « **Reply #9 on:** April 25, 2006, 01:34:16 PM »

ok stacey how you have ah bmoblie in london???

capodetutticapi · « **Reply #10 on:** April 25, 2006, 03:32:59 PM »

it generally have some wicked wives out they yuh know and mine is leader ah de pack.once she know football on she go want to do this and do dat and want to go mall,she go want me to spend time with de chiren.shit all ah dat jun9 to jul 9 i free single and disengage.

sin · « **Reply #11 on:** April 25, 2006, 04:14:17 PM »

Had to rep for the ladies on the board nah

Grande/Reaper: thank you darlins

Morvant: no 'e' in stacy eh; and yes, I still have my tstt simcard somewhere around. Why you minding my business?

And no I not married. Don't have the time

100% Barataria · « **Reply #12 on:** April 25, 2006, 04:20:07 PM »

Dis is a boss post, boss

Rastaman · « **Reply #13 on:** April 25, 2006, 05:04:05 PM »

Quote from: Rastaman on April 25, 2006, 01:10:57 PM

Ok I just e-mailed this to my wife so check later...If I still online is because I still ALIVE...!!

Well just letting you guys know...It was a Bad idea sending that e-mail...my wife tell me I go suffer for the month...

Think it have anything to do with the fact she pregnant..

?

Hope you guys have better luck than me !!

ndookie · « **Reply #14 on:** April 25, 2006, 05:22:43 PM »

Deepest Sympathy from me , you are a brave brave man , you playing with bomb (not fire eh) , watch yuhself...

che · « **Reply #15 on:** April 25, 2006, 05:30:12 PM »

Quote from: trinbago on April 25, 2006, 11:25:46 AM

Ah love it !!

Here is what fellaz.....I goin and do this and ah tink everyone else on here should do the same.....

Print out a copy of this: Rules for Wives and Girlfriends

And

1. Give one personally to the wife/girlfriend
2. Stick one up on the fridge
3. Stick one below the tv screen in case you need to point to it to remind that special someone of the rules

Yes, I going to print one for my wife and my girlfriend.

ndookie · « **Reply #16 on:** April 25, 2006, 06:14:06 PM »

wife and girlfriend ?

che · « **Reply #17 on:** April 25, 2006, 06:16:50 PM »

Quote from: ndookie on April 25, 2006, 06:14:06 PM

wife and girlfriend ?

Yeah mean to tell me that you doh have ah wife and ah girlfriend.

Rastaman · « **Reply #18 on:** April 25, 2006, 06:19:36 PM »

Quote from: che on April 25, 2006, 06:16:50 PM

Quote from: ndookie on April 25, 2006, 06:14:06 PM

wife and girlfriend ?

Yeah mean to tell me that you doh have ah wife and ah girlfriend.

Some of us ent that lucky...or in my case going through a lean period called pregnangy.

ndookie · « **Reply #19 on:** April 25, 2006, 06:22:58 PM »

you pregnant ?
now this is a first...
lol

Rastaman · « **Reply #20 on:** April 25, 2006, 06:25:25 PM »

Quote from: ndookie on April 25, 2006, 06:22:58 PM

you pregnant ?
now this is a first...
lol

Ok Ok I look for that one !!!

che · « **Reply #21 on:** April 25, 2006, 06:29:57 PM »

Congrats Rastaman. But how you get pregnant

ndookie · « **Reply #22 on:** April 25, 2006, 06:31:28 PM »

haha , yeah , dsi , but che , man does struggle for a girlfriend , and they does regret wife , you want both..

p.s. - good question , cause i probably en hear about how he get pregnant either...

che · « **Reply #23 on:** April 25, 2006, 06:34:09 PM »

Quote from: ndookie on April 25, 2006, 06:31:28 PM

haha , yeah , dsi , but che , man does struggle for a girlfriend , and they does regret wife , you want both..

p.s. - good question , cause i probably en hear about how he get pregnant either...

If he means that his wife is pregnant, well that is why he should have a girlfriend too

ndookie · « **Reply #24 on:** April 25, 2006, 06:35:41 PM »

lemme stay out of that , that is trouble yes...
how much longer til the supposed birth date ras ?

kandi_tt · « **Reply #25 on:** April 26, 2006, 09:19:49 AM »

oh lawd o...this post real bad....hats off to allyuh....ah start to laugh like ah mad in d office...ah send fuh ah few ah meh friends an they wha know what kinda man hating i on....

sin · « **Reply #26 on:** April 26, 2006, 10:01:23 AM »

this done reach around the internet - get two emails forwarded to me already this morning.

E-man · « **Reply #27 on:** April 26, 2006, 10:23:11 AM »

Quote from: sin on April 26, 2006, 10:01:23 AM

this done reach around the internet - get two emails forwarded to me already this morning.

So "sin" is your new moniker? I guess that is much easier to ~~commit~~ spell than staycee

sin · « **Reply #28 on:** April 26, 2006, 10:44:30 AM »

new only to this board...
Of course, I'm still an angel

Rastaman · « **Reply #29 on:** April 26, 2006, 04:23:12 PM »

My lard look how mana get me look like pappy show.....

People the Rastaman belly lil big but is good food. and don't worry the belly ent stopping nothing because yes the wife pregnant....

Ah have 6 months to go before she due

An about the girlfriend......sorry but ah ent home so ah have to hold ne corner.... have nowhere to run to if she ketch me...