Some puns to start your day
1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The
ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve
you, but don't start anything."
3. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.
4. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and
says: "A beer please, and one for the road."
6. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does
this taste funny to you?"
7. "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'"
"That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." "Is it common?" Well, "It's Not
Unusual."
8. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to
Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't
believe you," says Dolly. "It's true, no bull!" exclaims Daisy.
9. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were
nothing to look at either.
10 I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I
couldn't find any.
11. A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He
shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied,
"I know you can't - I've cut off your arms!"
12. I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a mussel.
13. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other
and says "Dam!"
14. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time,
which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate
very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered
from bad breath. This made him ..(Oh! , man, this is so bad, it's
good)..... A super calloused fragile my stic hexed by halitosis. One
of my all-time favorites!
15 And finally, there was the person who sent fifteen different puns
to his friends, with the hope that at least ten of the puns would make
them laugh. No pun in ten did.
