To: All Employees From: The program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (S.H.I.T.)
Date: TODAY
Re: S.H.I.T.
In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity from employees, it will be our policy to keep all employees well trained through our program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (S.H.I.T.). We are trying to give our employees more S.H.I.T. than anyone else. If you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T., please see your supervisor. You will be immediately placed at the top of the S.H.I.T. list, and our supervisors are especially skilled at seeing that you get all the S.H.I.T. you can handle. Employees who don't take their S.H.I.T. seriously will be placed in DEPARTMENTAL EMPLOYEE EVALUATION Programs (D.E.E.P.S.H.I.T.). Those who fail to take D.E.E.P.S.H.I.T. seriously will have to go to EMPLOYEE ATTITUDE TRAINING (E.A.T.S.H.I.T.). Since our supervisors took S.H.I.T. before they were promoted, they don't have to take S.H.I.T. anymore, and are all full of S.H.I.T. already. If you too are full of S.H.I.T., you may be interested in a job teaching others. We can add your name to our BASIC UNDERSTANDING LIST of LEADERS (B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T.).
Thank you, BOSS IN GENERAL, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (B.I.G.S.H.I.T.)
