Muddas in law - by daughter

[TriniCana]

Question:

How many of you have a good relationship with allyuh mudda in law ?
and how many don't. Ah don't need to know why, ah just asking.

Ah want to know why muddas in law have such a bad reputation - reason why ah asking:

ah was talking to one ah meh boy friend dis morning and he telling meh how his mudda only interferring with this 'new' life with his 'new' wife. Now, i know his mother and I know his wife - infact if I was his mother, I and all woulda interfer cause his wife is ah money satan and ah ass (my opinion). His father and one of his brothers didn't attend the wedding because dey didn't approve. His mother, other brother, sisters and myself attended on behalf of the family - mind you the sisters was no part of the bridal party. It only take bout 6 months after the wedding that new wife and sisters in law break away (he took dey wife side). Once dat happen other brother break off too. So that left mudda still holding strong for she son.

whatever it is happen (i ain't get dey full story) dat wife tell husband she find dey mother calling too often and she want that stop. son went to talk to mudda bout it, mudda warn him bout wife, son tell he mudda in no uncertain terms to leave him alone, one ah dey brothers didn't like how he talking to mudda, buss he face with ah cuff, fight break out dat dey whole family had to part dem...he get ban from dey family, he tell dem to fluck off and datz dat.

now he on dey phone complaining to me why family (muddas in law) always interferring and why dey doh leave people to live dey life.  Allyuh ah jus listen and me ain't say ah word....

My opinion is, one family member "might" be wrong bout tings...NOT 5 or 10 ah dem wid the same opinion/issue. Granted it have some muddas who ain't letting go ah she boy child for no other woman to mind. Yet, when dem sense something wrong, ya hadda stiop and take note.  ah wrong

Muddas interfer with reason right

Gimme allyuh reasoning...ah listening

Now RedHowlie doh gimme no link eh - ah want to hear from you personally...and Hoe doh gimme nothing from no book eider. chit man

ah quote pop in meh head while ah was typing dis "wife/husband does come and go, but family remain" or something so it goes

[Organic]

EXCELLENT RELATIONSHIP WITH MINE
we real real cool

[truetrini]

in laws need to back tuh f**k up.

He get warned, so why hustle de man over he wife?

f tings doh work out he go learn and he go understand, but too many tims sisters and mothers eespecially like tuh get involved in married people business!

The manmother  sound like she eh want tuh let go...is not ah child. is BIG man and he wife!

steups.

If he get ah horn den dat is ah lesson.  But she remians HIS choice so leave dem be...love dem and hope fh de best...doh medle.

[cocoapanyol]

My mudder always used tuh say  "Doh interfere in husband and wife business" and "yuh doh know what does happen when four eye meet"

She never interefere wid mine and she never interefere wid none ah meh siblings and I doh interfere wid mine.

Whatever kinda person yuh children marry is fuh dem tuh live wid not de parents.

[TriniCana]

okay ah hearing allyuh

but as ah mudda or fadda - allyuh ain't go speak to allyuh children if allyuh see something happening dat ain't right

TT you say in oder words 'burn to learn' but obviously you ain't want to see nothing bad happen to your child right - so when is it dat ah parent should turn ah blind eye on ah situation

or
is it after ya say I DO...all strings tur mudda and fadda cut !

[WestCoast]

My mudder always used tuh say  "Doh interfere in husband and wife business" and "yuh doh know what does happen when four eye meet"
She never interefere wid mine and she never interefere wid none ah meh siblings and I doh interfere wid mine.
Whatever kinda person yuh children marry is fuh dem tuh live wid not de parents.

unless is a dangerous situation.

[truetrini]

sisters and brothers takib sides, eh go de man weding...i done see who destroying de man love life already.

if no abuse, no horning...leave dem.

like de modder want he to be ah mama man or wha

[morvant]

me and mines cool

she could rell cook

[fishs]

 
  Which one 

[dyansie]

My mother in law is the best, she and i have a great relationship, she just do not interfere and that is what  is the best. Unless is life and death, she would, but otherwise, she allows her son and i to live our life.

[cocoapanyol]

okay ah hearing allyuh

but as ah mudda or fadda - allyuh ain't go speak to allyuh children if allyuh see something happening dat ain't right

TT you say in oder words 'burn to learn' but obviously you ain't want to see nothing bad happen to your child right - so when is it dat ah parent should turn ah blind eye on ah situation

or
is it after ya say I DO...all strings tur mudda and fadda cut !

Based on de scenario you first post, de mudder in law outta place.  It have too many muddas out dere who want tuh be dey son woman.  Dey cyar handle when dey grown ass sons have a woman.  I eh say yuh have tuh LIKE de woman yuh son choose but yuh have tuh RESPECT de choice and hope dat yuh raise him right enough tuh make a good choice.  Even if he eh make de right choice, is he who have tuh live wid it.  Stay out yuh adult children lives.  Unless ah issue of violence/drugs involved, is not anybody business if yuh son wife spending all HE money as may be claimed.  Once yuh married, it eh have not HE money and SHE money.  Is DEY money and dem who have to figure out tings.

[Dutty]

Dat poor fellah walkin ah serious tightrope in beetween two walls of fire

ah feelin fuh de man

Either way,,the fact that he brother hit him ah lash in he ass...indicate to me that he was talkin lil rough to his mother
Even if yuh take yuh wife side,,,yuh cyah buse yuh blood family.......unless dey really do yuh someting

[capodetutticapi]

meh fadda always use to say...doh get involved in husband and wife business...god rest his soul.

[Johpants]

The man has made his choice and they should all respect that. It is unfortunate that he obviously didn't respect his family members hence the beat down.

But as to your original question, in my experience  you will find all kinds of relationships with in-laws in one memorable instance of a mother-in-law complaining to one daughter that she was fed-up with another daughter who lived with her (husband and four children included). She said, "I ready to put Rosie out you know but I love Mark".

In any case I think that some restraint is called for on all sides; parents need to remember that they make the children not their minds; children - that parents want the best for them yes but that it is their life to live however they should work to get their parents to respect their decisions; and daughters/sons-in-law - this is your loved one's mother/father/sister/brother treat them and encourage the spouse to treat them as he/she would want their mother/father/sister/brother to treated. Then they should all be able to get along.

[TriniCana]

Dat poor fellah walkin ah serious tightrope in beetween two walls of fire

ah feelin fuh de man

Either way,,the fact that he brother hit him ah lash in he ass...indicate to me that he was talkin lil rough to his mother
Even if yuh take yuh wife side,,,yuh cyah buse yuh blood family.......unless dey really do yuh someting

see dis is wha ah was saying in meh first post.

ah sure some ah allyuh saying dese things cause is dey right ting to do, but honestly how many ah allyuh won't pull allyuh child in ah corner and leggo 2 tap eh ?

generally speaking ah would understand if is ONE member ah dey family dat have ah issue wid dey wife/husband right, but when is 5 and 6 people telling ya bout dis new breed in ya life, you ain't go take note

okay back tur meh friend, just to add kerosene tur dey fire, meh frien is dey last one tur get married in dat family....last chile, so allyuh hadda understand why mudda behavin so. ah doh think she meddle in dey other children business, but all she diong is taklin to him bout 'tings' allyuh call it meddling, i go call it concerned.

okay me ain't married and no children tur call meh own, but as ah mudda dat had ya ass in meh fur 9 months, wipe ya stink ass and protect ya from every possible harm, ah sorry allyuh but ah cyah say i could turn ah blind eye if ah see meh child heading fur dooms day - whether is drugs or dey new breed have too much man friend hangin around when meh son at wuk....i go have a talk.

who knows, is so much love in he eyes he ain't seeing dey shit dat happening in he life, maybe he need somebody to tap and throw back some common sense in he system....ah jus saying, me ain't know.

turn dey table around now....all dem faddas in here, if allyuh see allyuh girl chile, dey apple ah allyuh eye in dis situation does dis same decision apply

meh frien flying in to TO friday coming, so is me and he dis weekend...i honestly ain't lookin forward tur dat stups.

[Dutty]

meh frien flying in to TO friday coming, so is me and he dis weekend...i honestly ain't lookin forward tur dat stups.

He stayin by you??

Yuh eh fraid de wife stalk yuh,, and pelt two bottle in yuh backside

[cocoapanyol]

[quote
generally speaking ah would understand if is ONE member ah dey family dat have ah issue wid dey wife/husband right, but when is 5 and 6 people telling ya bout dis new breed in ya life, you ain't go take note

But in all seriourness, why is dat anybody business?  If de man reach de point ah getting married, stay out he business nah?  He mus leave he wife because 5 or 6 people in de family doh like she?  All dat going tuh do is make he want tuh stay wid de woman even more.

I sticking tuh meh opinion dat if it eh have abuse in de marriage, den leave de people alone.

[d1onlysexysugar]

hummm well i young i ent know bout d married life ting .... buh ah could tell yuh ... , man foreign n my best friend's mom treats me like ah daughter in law ah done tell she dat we r friends buh every time den having ah Family lime  she specially inviting me ... my mom n all in dat sh*t ..... tring 2 say dat ah usin my frien cuz ah could get d world if ah want from him n i ent even like him like dat ... ah sorry 4 when d Mr. comes home 

[Dutty]

hummm well i young i ent know bout d married life ting .... buh ah could tell yuh ... , man foreign n my best friend's mom treats me like ah daughter in law ah done tell she dat we r friends buh every time den having ah Family lime  she specially inviting me ... my mom n all in dat sh*t ..... tring 2 say dat ah usin my frien cuz ah could get d world if ah want from him n i ent even like him like dat ... ah sorry 4 when d Mr. comes home 

You is organic sister ent?

[Mr Fix-it]

hummm well i young i ent know bout d married life ting .... buh ah could tell yuh ... , man foreign n my best friend's mom treats me like ah daughter in law ah done tell she dat we r friends buh every time den having ah Family lime  she specially inviting me ... my mom n all in dat sh*t ..... tring 2 say dat ah usin my frien cuz ah could get d world if ah want from him n i ent even like him like dat ... ah sorry 4 when d Mr. comes home 

You is organic sister ent?

 

[d1onlysexysugar]

hummm well i young i ent know bout d married life ting .... buh ah could tell yuh ... , man foreign n my best friend's mom treats me like ah daughter in law ah done tell she dat we r friends buh every time den having ah Family lime  she specially inviting me ... my mom n all in dat sh*t ..... tring 2 say dat ah usin my frien cuz ah could get d world if ah want from him n i ent even like him like dat ... ah sorry 4 when d Mr. comes home 

You is organic sister ent?

no babe! 

[Bourbon]

I see madness like that happen real plenty. Sometimes you have to wonder if is just a kinda female jealously between the mother and daughter or something. With respect to 5 or 6 people not liking the girl...you hadda wonder though if the dislike was developed as a result of what one person told them...like...the sister might not like the girl.....she go tell she mother bout it....and the mother develop the dislike for de girl based on wha the sister say.....or percieve totally innocent actions by the girlfriend as proof of what the sister said when it may not be so. In my case i try to keep my mind open and think for myself. It still hard to do though....cuz is sometimes damned if you do and damned if you dont.

[WestCoast]

Yuh eh fraid de wife stalk yuh,, and pelt two bottle in yuh backside

man, she go spit out crushed glass 
bad bad bad

[pecan]

Cana .. no time to read every ting ..

My mother-in-law treats me like a son and we have an excellent relationship
Likewise Mrs. Pecan has an excellent relationship with my mother.

I thnik mother-in-laws get a bad rap nad is a sterotype that some ppl feel that have to propogate.

[TriniCana]

[quote
generally speaking ah would understand if is ONE member ah dey family dat have ah issue wid dey wife/husband right, but when is 5 and 6 people telling ya bout dis new breed in ya life, you ain't go take note

But in all seriourness, why is dat anybody business?  If de man reach de point ah getting married, stay out he business nah?  He mus leave he wife because 5 or 6 people in de family doh like she?  All dat going tuh do is make he want tuh stay wid de woman even more.

I sticking tuh meh opinion dat if it eh have abuse in de marriage, den leave de people alone.

Coco me ain't disagreeing wid nobody, infact everybody has ah valued interpretion/point on dis ting.

so lemme get is straight....parents and siblings should stay out ah marry people business, EXCEPT when it involves abuse and drugs ....got it.

allyuh have backbone...although it ain't happen to me yet, but as ah mudda knowing she child heading fur dooms day, ah doh tink ah could have ah proper night's sleep nah. Especially when ah know dey day go come when he/she bawlin in meh ears "mammy why me"

allyuh have backbone and thanks fur dey comments.

ah leavin dis thread up for him to come and take in ah read or just take parts of it out (wid allyuh permission of course), dis go help me NOT tell him nuttin so he cyah go back and say Cana say....

and tur answer Dutty, yes he stayin with me fur dey weekend. He coming in for some business meeting in london for dey monday after - so he killin 2 bird wid one stone. In any case whether he tell dey wife where he staying or not, if she know what good fur she, she better doh be callin meh blasted house no hour ah dey day or night - he better put he cell phone on roaming. Sorry allyuh buh ah really doh have dey patience for dotish people - seriously.

furthermore she meet up wid me already and hopefully something go trigger in she dotish head dat go tell she tur LEAVE dat redness in Canada alone 

[Jefferz]

if not for her daughter im sure she'd ask me to marry her.

[WestCoast]

but........oh gaum .......look at it from her point of view.........
not everyone is as selfassured as some of us on dis Forum
  not calling any red names eh

[TriniCana]

but........oh gaum .......look at it from her point of view.........
not everyone is as selfassured as some of us on dis Forum
  not calling any red names eh

calling me self assured...hmm plums growin into oranges eh

fact is...i ain't want no woman (oder dan meh mudda, sister, best frien and indra) calling meh house....datz all
ya think my brother girl, could call here when he here wha it have cell phone for ?

[pecan]

life too short for all a dis ...

[ann3boys]

wow, what a topic...let me see, where to start...
right when I was married to a jack### horning mudderF###$%^ his mother wouldn't believe that he could be such a hound dog...
after I leave his a$$  and she realised he was with that other thing...then she came to talk to me and say ..Yeah, girl, I sorry, I didn't know.
anyway, good thing I didn't have any more use for him, so I was able to then have a good relationship with his mother. now we are best friends. Imagine that!!

poor thing, actually mothers will always want the best for their children, male or female, so being a mother in law is tough. I know, cos now I am one,,,