Family fussin' and feudin'

[fari]

 I had this on my mind for a long time. Mods, if this is an old topic please feel free to delete.   I just want to get some feedback from board members on their siblings, particularly the relationship they have with them. Has it changed over the years?  Are there any old wounds still open?  Does time heal all wounds?   I think this is a relevant topic what the holidays coming up and all.   Let me hear alyuh thoughts, who knows, this might be a good catharsis for some of us...

[Cantona007]

weyyy.. Fari. Boss Post. I will ruminate before I jump in, but GREAT topic 

[TriniCana]

I have one of each...i'm the last

my sister and i have a good relationship
my brother and i didn't speak for almost 1 year straight back in 2002

nobody in the family got involved - everyone told me i only have 1 brother and forgive.
took a while but realized what a horrible feelin to lose a sibling when one of my friends lost her sister in an accident after months of not speaking to her.

i didn't want to experience that feeling so i came over to his place, talk, cuss, talk and it was time for healing....things still moving upsteam between us...which i thank god for.

funny you bring this topic up because normally this time coming down to the end of the year i always have thoughts bout how much more time i have with my siblings and my parents.  sometimes i wish i had a bigger family so when that time comes to lose one sibling, i still have others to fall back on.

[Queen Macoomeh]

Life isn't neat. Sometimes there are more loose ends and messes than neatly arranged apologies and acceptances. Sometimes the wound can be so deep, so old, so painful that an apology, a visit, a word cannot heal it. And time simply cements the rift not heal it.

Sometimes you might just have to walk away and leave it unfinished or unexplained not from any sense of vengeance or retribution but because there ARE no words. So silence is all that is left. Some things just cannot be explained and got past.

It's good to try but that kind of healing is one of those things that require traffic on both sides of the road. Forgiveness isn't all it's cracked up to be if the person doesn't even know they are wrong.

*climbs off the soapbox, trips and falls into the orchestra pit*
OW!!

[NYtriniwhiteboy..]

well i know i still young but me and my sister wen we was younger hated each other too bad. Then family moved to Barbados and well not knowing anyone else yuh end up talking a lil more to whoever yuh already know...So me and the sister started talking with each other a lot better and de bickering between us stopped.
Since then we moved back to Trinidad and both of us actually attending same university. Never in a million years thought i would like to be in de same school as she is but it works out nice. Always there for each other when the other person in a bad situation.
She only sibling i have so daz all i cud comment on..Yeah we still have we lil fights and ting but it nothing liek the years before wen we cud have barely been in de same room

[d1onlysexysugar]

nice 2 c u back out fari ... missed u 4 ah lil while .......... n e way ... i have a fairly good relationship with my siblings ... never any  large fallouts ... they jus last a day or 2 especially wit my big sis .
i am d eldest @ home not often @ home though  so whenever d younger ones want 2 give trouble i blackmail or punish them i n joy dat n if i want someting done i bribe or bargain ... it may not b d bess relationship in d world but it works 4 me dey hardly c me anyway so whenever i get time i try 2 spend it wit dem but i don't stay long    i am angered 2 easily .... i guess dats cuzed by lack of s*x ...  i ent know    ....   

[capodetutticapi]

nice 2 c u back out fari ... missed u 4 ah lil while .......... n e way ... i have a fairly good relationship with my siblings ... never any  large fallouts ... they jus last a day or 2 especially wit my big sis .
i am d eldest @ home not often @ home though  so whenever d younger ones want 2 give trouble i blackmail or punish them i n joy dat n if i want someting done i bribe or bargain ... it may not b d bess relationship in d world but it works 4 me dey hardly c me anyway so whenever i get time i try 2 spend it wit dem but i don't stay long    i am angered 2 easily .... i guess dats cuzed by lack of s*x ...  i ent know    ....   

yuh eh need to be lackin yuh know,just send meh ah pm way to meet yuh.lol. ;)your place or mine

[DeSoWa]

Good topic..well for me it kinda strange...I have 2 bros...both younger, but it so happen that I am the only chile between my Mom and Dad..they each had one other after me, with they new hubbies..it end up that both ah them born 2 weeks apart  so they same. Anyways to make a long story short..the one on my daddy side, I have not seen him since he was 4..he is in his 20's now..the last I heard he was in Connecticut (sp). The other one on my mom side well we god now, but when we lived together it was real fighting..I mean REAL fighting..I never liked him (cause I thought he was all up in my space) and we did not grow up together from small, so we never really got to know each other. But now he calls me almost everyday just to keep in touch..but we don't confide in each other or share close ties..we just cool, and help out each other when needed (me more than him though  ) anyways I could write ah book bout me family but would not go there..

Big Up!

[pecan]

No Regrets

I have posted a similar topic ..

If yuh know yuh only have one day to live, is there anybody yuh go wnat to make up with before yuh dead?

Well wat yuh wating for ??.. go make nice and forget all dey haeartache dat came in between you two ..

[trinindian]

Well boy fari you know me and and meh sis and you know first hand that we was never close. And you would ah never know dat we was related how we moved, But time has changes since we las lime me and the old sis does get along quite well now. When i did not have place to live this was the same sis who let me stay at her place. I always remember the time my sis tell me how dis girl from the old alma mater wannted to bad talk me with her, think how it was cool since we do really pull and my sis had to put she in her place.

Up to this date we still doh really see eye to eye but i know when it comes down to it I know she will look out for me i her own way.

It is not so much about healing wounds more about learning to appreciate the person for who they are

[Dutty]

Me and my brother dont speak at all.  It is very difficult,, especailly around the holidays and puts a tremendous strain on the family
At family gatherings the tension is thick, is like he extra vex and holdin grudges an ting







Ok,, so what,, if I sleep with he third wife....he didnt get on so, when ah was wit the first two
Wah is he problem in trute?

[capodetutticapi]

Me and my brother dont speak at all.  It is very difficult,, especailly around the holidays and puts a tremendous strain on the family
At family gatherings the tension is thick, is like he extra vex and holdin grudges an ting







Ok,, so what,, if I sleep with he third wife....he didnt get on so, when ah was wit the first two
Wah is he problem in trute?

yuh really livin up to yuh name sah.they look good?

[cocoapanyol]

Me and my brother dont speak at all.  It is very difficult,, especailly around the holidays and puts a tremendous strain on the family
At family gatherings the tension is thick, is like he extra vex and holdin grudges an ting







Ok,, so what,, if I sleep with he third wife....he didnt get on so, when ah was wit the first two
Wah is he problem in trute?

Dutty..why yuh so man. You is something else oui!!

[Organic]

Me and my brother dont speak at all.  It is very difficult,, especailly around the holidays and puts a tremendous strain on the family
At family gatherings the tension is thick, is like he extra vex and holdin grudges an ting







Ok,, so what,, if I sleep with he third wife....he didnt get on so, when ah was wit the first two
Wah is he problem in trute?

yuh really livin up to yuh name sah.they look good?

DUTTY EH CARE...gone by each ah dem sinigng...."all ah we is one fmailyyyyyyyyyyyy"

[ribbit]

nice thread fari.

i have a twin sister. we were on good terms growing up. the two factors that have changed the relationship the most are circumstance and distance.

by circumstance, i mean those opportunities or challenges that life presents people. i took a chance and moved out to the west coast for a few years - that changed our expectations that the other would be close by. then she got a job and moved to the states and has been there for a while now. the decisions that she made (and that i made) changed our perceptions of each other. not like when one is young and have no real life decisions to make.

distance has changed the relationship mostly for the better. when you don't see your sibling frequently, you value the time you see them. and it makes it more important to tell them what you really think instead of hiding behind propriety (could call this the "propriety of proximity" - staying on good terms with those nearby to avoid stress). i think i only really started understanding her (and she me) when she moved away.

[TriniCana]

lemme ask allyuh...especially those who left home and family behind

whether it was last month or 10 years ago you left 'home' does anyone feel MUCH closer to your families ? I'm not saying missing your family, i'm saying learnt to appreciate them more -and not take for granted that they will always be there.

Ah telling ya...me and meh mudda usta fight like 2 man rat in ah hole when at was home - as meh grandmudda said 'i am my mudda when she was ah teenager- every blasted ting'. The first month away from home was freedom, now after 2 -3 years, if meh mudda doh call meh 3 times per week, ah does want to dead - doh frighten ah does call she 4 times per week - until now she does hang up on meh saying ah distrubin she peace 

one thing ah learn from this experience, is doh take nobody or nothing for granted...especially family

[DeSoWa]

lemme ask allyuh...especially those who left home and family behind

whether it was last month or 10 years ago you left 'home' does anyone feel MUCH closer to your families ? I'm not saying missing your family, i'm saying learnt to appreciate them more -and not take for granted that they will always be there.

Ah telling ya...me and meh mudda usta fight like 2 man rat in ah hole when at was home - as meh grandmudda said 'i am my mudda when she was ah teenager- every blasted ting'. The first month away from home was freedom, now after 2 -3 years, if meh mudda doh call meh 3 times per week, ah does want to dead - doh frighten ah does call she 4 times per week - until now she does hang up on meh saying ah distrubin she peace 

one thing ah learn from this experience, is doh take nobody or nothing for granted...especially family

Yeah sweet Cana, I concur...I grew up for the most part wid me Grandmom, and we use to get into alotta talks, sometimes we vex wid each other for days and not really talking, even though we in the same house...well since I move up here, we closer than ever, she calls me when she can, update me on what happening wid she and ah help she as much as I could. Wid me mother same thing..when I move uphere is by she ah stay for a little over a year..and we quarrel all the time..we too much alike...now ah move out..we talk like best friends..me and me bro same thing..ah doh what it is but distance brings the family closer 

Big Up!

[WestCoast]

..ah doh what it is but distance brings the family closer 
Big Up!

yeah!!!
 my Brudda movin back here after being away for 7 yrs in Korea.
I have a bro-out-law who does only insult whenever we chattin on MSN..........he does get regular blank oui
buh he want to move here from de USA for health costs reasons

[d1onlysexysugar]

Ok,, so what,, if I sleep with he third wife....he didnt get on so, when ah was wit the first two
Wah is he problem in trute?

u kiddin ... right

[Dutty]

Ok,, so what,, if I sleep with he third wife....he didnt get on so, when ah was wit the first two
Wah is he problem in trute?

u kiddin ... right

no!!...wuh is he story??

he wasnt vex before..why he vex now?

[d1onlysexysugar]

Ok,, so what,, if I sleep with he third wife....he didnt get on so, when ah was wit the first two
Wah is he problem in trute?

u kiddin ... right

no!!...wuh is he story??

he wasnt vex before..why he vex now?

when is ur birthday man ... wat month

[Dutty]

Ok,, so what,, if I sleep with he third wife....he didnt get on so, when ah was wit the first two
Wah is he problem in trute?

u kiddin ... right

no!!...wuh is he story??

he wasnt vex before..why he vex now?

when is ur birthday man ... wat month

January...why?...yuh does do obeah part time?

put ah zeppy on him fuh mih nah


he checkin ah young ting dese days.....but she does be watchin mih..................

[TriniCana]

Ok,, so what,, if I sleep with he third wife....he didnt get on so, when ah was wit the first two
Wah is he problem in trute?

u kiddin ... right

no!!...wuh is he story??

he wasnt vex before..why he vex now?

when is ur birthday man ... wat month

January...why?...yuh does do obeah part time?

put ah zeppy on him fuh mih nah


he checkin ah young ting dese days.....but she does be watchin mih..................

nah nah nmaaaaaaaaaaaaah Duttiness ya cyah be ah January man
wha day

[Dutty]

Jan 1 1971....ah start to lime fuh de fuss time

[TriniCana]

Jan 1 1971....ah start to lime fuh de fuss time

look ting
Jan 3rd 1808

is only cause me ain't go be in Canada roun dat time, ah woulda actually find ya where ya living tur take ya fur ah little drink....
ah coming back on dey 9th

[d1onlysexysugar]

Jan 1 1971....ah start to lime fuh de fuss time

look ting
Jan 3rd 1901

is only cause me ain't go be in Canada roun dat time, ah woulda actually find ya where ya living tur take ya fur ah little drink....
ah coming back on dey 9th

u sure ur dat right girl n e way ... dutty buh ah ent hear u say nuttin bout my pic ... u c it yet

[Dutty]

Jan 1 1971....ah start to lime fuh de fuss time

look ting
Jan 3rd 1901

is only cause me ain't go be in Canada roun dat time, ah woulda actually find ya where ya living tur take ya fur ah little drink....
ah coming back on dey 9th

Ok..well ah expeckin mih beverage on de 10th

Me eh care if yuh bring back ah sugar daddy from de caymans.....he could come too..if he buyin

The 3rd eh...well lookat dat  

[Dutty]

Jan 1 1971....ah start to lime fuh de fuss time

look ting
Jan 3rd 1901

is only cause me ain't go be in Canada roun dat time, ah woulda actually find ya where ya living tur take ya fur ah little drink....
ah coming back on dey 9th

u sure ur dat right girl n e way ... dutty buh ah ent hear u say nuttin bout my pic ... u c it yet

wha pic??...yuh post it

[TriniCana]

Jan 1 1971....ah start to lime fuh de fuss time

look ting
Jan 3rd 1901

is only cause me ain't go be in Canada roun dat time, ah woulda actually find ya where ya living tur take ya fur ah little drink....
ah coming back on dey 9th

u sure ur dat right girl n e way ... dutty buh ah ent hear u say nuttin bout my pic ... u c it yet

watch meh nah...ah older dan dirt ya know...
me and noah pitch marble and i is dey one dat tell peter bout pirogue and forget raft

[d1onlysexysugar]

Jan 1 1971....ah start to lime fuh de fuss time

look ting
Jan 3rd 1901

is only cause me ain't go be in Canada roun dat time, ah woulda actually find ya where ya living tur take ya fur ah little drink....
ah coming back on dey 9th

u sure ur dat right girl n e way ... dutty buh ah ent hear u say nuttin bout my pic ... u c it yet

wha pic??...yuh post it

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