Number One Idiot of 2006
I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the
poison control centre.
Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little
daughter eating ants.
I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would
be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She calmed down
and at the end of the conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants. I told her
that she better bring her daughter into the emergency room right away.
Number Two Idiot of 2006:
Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal
a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it
out of the plane and home.
Shortly after they took it for a float on the river, they noticed a
Coast Guard helicopter coming towards them. It turned out that the chopper
was homing in on the emergency locator beacon that activated when the
raft was inflated.
They are no longer employed at Boeing.
Number Three Idiot of 2006:
A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the
Branch and wrote this: "Put all your muny in this bag."
While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he
began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the
police before he reached the teller's window.
So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to the Wells
Fargo Bank. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the
Wells Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling
errors that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she
could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of
America deposit slip, and that he would either have to fill out a Wells
Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America.
Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, "OK" and left.
He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at
Bank of America.
Number Four Idiot of 2006:
A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that
measured his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later received
in the mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car.
Instead of payment, he sent the police department a photograph of $40.
Several days later, he received a letter from the police that contained
another picture, this time of handcuffs.
He immediately mailed in his $40.
Number Five Idiot of 2006:
A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all
of the cash from the cash drawer.
After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of
Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier
to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier refused and said,
"Because I don't
believe you are over 21."
The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him
because he didn't believe him.
At this point, the robber took his driver's license out of his wallet
and gave it to the clerk.
The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21
and she put the Scotch in the bag.
The robber then ran from the store with his loot.
The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of
the robber that he got off the license. They arrested the robber two
hours later. This guy definitely needs a sign.
Idiot Number Six of 2006:
A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving
revolvers.
The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his partner moved, the
startled first bandit shot him.
Idiot Number Seven of 2006:
Arkansas : Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided
that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab
some booze, and run.
So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the
window.
The cinder block bounced back knocking him unconscious.
It seems the liquor store window was made of Plexi-Glass. The whole
event was caught on videotape.
