Scorcher wrap with Lasana.
Sir Ellis bids farewell
A 21-gun salute for a 93-year-old former President.
Sir Ellis Clarke crossed over to the great beyond in high style after passing away on December 30, 2010. Twice President of Trinidad and Tobago between 1976 and 1987, Sir Ellis—the framer of the constitution—still stuck around long enough to enjoy three issues of Scorcher. The man was truly a class act.
We did mail him those issues, right?
No matter. Well played, Sir Ellis.
Green day at Mt Hope
The nursing staff at Mt Hope said they treated British citizens, Peter and Murium Green, like royalty in August 2009 when they turned up after suffering a brutal attack in Tobago.
That would be a first. The closest those nurses get to royal stuff is Regal baking products and their default mode is to treat patients like the “spranger” you catch up your mango tree.
But that doesn’t excuse the Greens’ behavior. By their own admission, they were choosier about the ethnicity of their helpers than the old Club Coconuts on a Friday night. Hence, their case was presented by England’s Daily “Whine-about-non-whites-ruining-the-Majesty’s-Empire” Mail and not the UK Guardian or Times.
So you both waiting two years for “proper” compensation money, eh?
Get in line. There are people waiting for reparation cheques—or even an apology—since the slave trade.
Jack bus them up
Jack Warner, Minister of Works and Transport, passes five new laws a day—and that is just while he is talking in his sleep. (Spoiler alert: that may or may not be one of the deleted scenes from “Inception”.)
Warner usually reverses about four of them within a week, though, which says something about making important decisions before your Special K.
His decision to regularize PH taxi drivers bore Warner’s typical “leh we see if this work” formula that not good for the nerves. PH drivers fill a badly needed gap in our transport system, particularly at night, but they also are invariably involved in a lot of the seedier aspects of their profession.
An adult discussion between the relevant stakeholders might have accomplished much but, where Warner goes, that is like asking a two-year-old to stand still.
Strike action by maxi taxis prompted a Marie Antoinette-styled response from Warner: “Let the poor people take bus”.
Just now Tanty Kamla would have to appoint a Minister of Warner Damage Control.
Signal to Lara
It’s never as good as the first time.
Brian Lara is a big Beyonce fan—or at least he should be after he made a mint from her Port of Spain concert last year—but does he listen to Sade?
The Trinidad and Tobago batting legend announced that he would pick up the bat once more and head for the lucrative Indian Premier League 20/20 competition.
Lara is fully entitled to a “sweat” but the track record of returning stars, like Muhammad Ali, Michael Jordan and Diego Maradona, doesn’t make good reading and our most gifted sportsman must never become a gimmick or “pappyshow”.
So, the Scorcher fulfilled our civic duty by placing him under lock and key at the Port of Spain museum—with relics of his own age—until further notice.
Ria’s dark period
Thirty-two-year-old local boxer Ria Ramnarine received a nine-month ban from the Trinidad and Tobago Boxing Board of Control (TTBBC) for testing positive for norandrostenedione—a precursor of the anabolic steroid nandrolone—three days after skipping a drug test last April.
Now, let the Scorcher take you through this one.
Firstly, Dr Jacob Hadeed said he gave her “hormonal injections” to “control her menstrual cycle”. Thanks doc. Even the Mt Hope nurses rolled their eyes at that one.
Ramnarine, who made her competitive boxing debut 11 years ago, claimed to not know that when boxing officials said “mandatory drug test” after the fight, it meant she really should oblige. Her defence was that she missed the pre-fights rules meeting, which would have presumably explained the word “mandatory” to a boxer who spoke to Queen’s Royal College (QRC) students in recent times.
Secondly, Ramnarine said the “environment following the fight became very hostile” and she left quickly “for her safety”. Ramnarine fought Japanese boxer Etsuko Tada at the Jean Pierre Complex, which Scorcher readers can confirm, is in Trinidad.
Exactly how threatening can one drug tester with a plastic cup be anyway?
In fact, the tester was so scary that it took three days before Ramnarine could be coaxed into the urine sample—thus becoming the first person who was so scared that they couldn’t pee themselves.
Dr Kenneth Smith, the TTBBC chairman, matched Ramnarine by taking took eight months to give a decision before offering retroactive punishment which was essentially, “naughty, naughty, see you in three weeks”. The minimum World Anti-Doping Agency (WADA) penalty for that crime, by the way, is a two-year ban.
Who say Trinidad and Tobago not sweet?
Well, apart from the “hostile” Jean Pierre Complex, of course.
