Sorry if posted before:
Why Lawyers should never ask a witness a question if they aren't prepared for the answer:
In a trial, a Southern small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand – a grandmotherly, elderly woman.
He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?" She responded, "Why yes. Of course I know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than the two-bit lawyer you are.
The Lawyer was stunned.
Not knowing what next to do, he pointed across the room and asked: "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?” To which she promptly replied: "Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention that he cheats on his wife with three different women, one of them, Mr. Jones, is your wife. Oh Yes! I know him well."
The defense attorney almost died.
The judge, on the other hand immediately summoned both counselors to approach the bench, and in a very quiet voice, said, "If either of you bastards asks that old bitch if she knows me, I promise, I'll throw both your asses in jail for contempt."
