For those of you who have already raised your
boys, those of you who are in the process, those of
you thinking you may have boys and those of you who
did not have boys nor will you ever, those of you
who had brothers, nephews godchildren etc.....read
it and weep with laughter
Raising Boys - 24 key points to ponder
The following came from an anonymous Mother in
Austin,Texas.
Things I've learned from my boys (honest and not
kidding):
1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a
2,000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.
2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run
over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
3. A 3-year old boy's voice is louder than 200
adults in a crowded restaurant.
4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the
motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman
underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a
paint-can to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.
5. You should not throw baseballs up when the
ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball
up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't
stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh
oh," its already too late.
8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and
lots of it.
9. A six-year old boy can start a fire with a flint
rock even though a 36-year old man says they can only do it in the
movies.
10. Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive
tract of a 4-year old boy.
11. Play dough and microwave should not be used in
the same sentence.
12. Super glue IS forever.
13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming
pool you still can't walk on water.
14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
15. VCR's do not eject "PB & J" sandwiches even
though TV Commercials show they do.
16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when
driving.
18. You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on;
plastic toys do not like ovens.
20. The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute
response time.
21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not
make earthworms dizzy.
22. It will, however, make cats dizzy.
23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when
dizzy.
24. 80% of men who read this will try mixing the
Clorox and brake fluid.
Women will pass this on to almost all of their
friends, with or without kids. For those with no
children - this is totally hysterical! For those who
already have children past this age, this is
hilarious! For those who have children this age,
this is not funny. For those who have children
nearing this age, this is a warning. For those who
have not yet had children, this is birth control!
