>One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very Sexy
>nightie. "Tie me up," she purred, "and you can do anything you want." So
>he tied her up and went golfing.
>**************************************************
A woman came home, >screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into the house. She slammed
>the door and shouted at the top of her lungs, "Honey, pack your bags. I won
>the lottery!" The husband said, "Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff
>or mountain stuff?" "Doesn't matter," she said. "Just get out."
>
>
>****** ********************************************Marriage is a
>relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is a
>husband. ********************* *****************************
>
>
>A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's license. First,
>of course, he had to take an eye sight test The optician showed him a card
>with the letters
>
>
>'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.' "Can you read this?" the optician asked. "Read
>it?" the Polish guy replied, "I know the guy."
>**************************************************Mother Superior called
>all the nuns together and said to them, "I must tell you all something. We
>have a case of gonorrhea in the convent." "Thank God," said an elderly nun
>at the back. "I'm so tired of chardonay."
>
>
>
>
>**************************************************Fifty-one years ago,
>Herman James, a North Carolina mountain man, was drafted by the Army. On
>his first day in basic training, the Army issued him a comb. That afternoon
>the Army barber sheared off all his hair. On his second day, the Army
>issued Herman a toothbrush. That afternoon the Army dentist yanked seven of
>his teeth. On the third day, the Army issued him a jock strap. The Army has
>been looking for Herman for 51 years.
