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Author Topic: A disturbing situation..sorry no Cliff notes  (Read 2922 times)

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Offline Grande

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A disturbing situation..sorry no Cliff notes
« on: June 28, 2007, 11:32:57 PM »
I have been dealing with this fuh some time - largely by ignoring it - but it has been bothering meh and I want to try to get it off meh chest.

To put a long, long story short, I discovered dat my friend is a White Nationalist/racist. I put either/or because - in dis case at least - it more or less de same.

Anyway I know dis feller since I start school here (Grade 11) until now, so dat is about over 7 years now. I eh lime with him much for de past four years or so but I saw him now and den. He was still considered part of de 'regulars' I does lime with despite that.

All the while before he would make suspect remarks about jewish ppl and non-white people...subtle and short. So I was always left with a lingering thought "what dis fella scene really is..?". Let we call him "Eric". He from Russia, immigrated to Canada as a small man.

Anyway I shame to say now I used to let these subtleties from him pass, because dey were few and far between - although it doh seem so now-  he otherwise seemed fine (b/c most of de rest of us are 'minorities') and as a meek Trini youth now coming to Canada, I grateful to make some friends.

My friendship with these other fellers have solidified but with Eric I always detached myself and he detached himself from the rest of we over de past three years especially.

Anyway about a week ago we all met up again, gorn fuh some Hakka Chinese food (W. China, usually does give yuh shittings). It was about five of we, I in de car with Eric and another Korean friend who ah thought was ah friend too. Eric and dis particular Korean feller are good friends and saw each other a lot during the times the rest of us didn't

Anyway I can't remember what inspire it but Korean feller start talking about black ppl except he wasn't referring to them as dat if yuh feel meh. Earlier in de day he was talkin about indian ppl and wasn't referring to dem as dat either (de 'p' word). In both cases it was real racist talk.

Anyway I ask him whaz he scene and he give me a setta bullshit, initially I thought he was joking but den again yuh doh make joke so and he was serious. He looking to Eric (in de front seat) fuh support but Eric wasnt' saying anything like a real coward. He jess nervously kinda laughing, he call me "PC" and upon further pressing by the korean feller, say he refuse to say anything else.

Now dem two does lime and I suspect Eric influence dis korean feller this way. I also recently discovered Eric was/is a frequent poster at Stormfront White Nationalist community, which is a message board for dem. I see some of he posts and for de sake of humanity, it hurt meh. He is an avid believer in de white supremacy and inferiority of others. It IS him posting so don't wonder otherwise. Me eh even know why I bother going to dat site, I guess I was too suspicious...

Anyway back to de scene in the car.

After all dat, I tell myself I had enough and come out from de car. They knew why. When I reach where all of we was going, I eh say 2 words to them.

I went because the other two fellers are my good bredren, and I doh want Eric and he puppet to twist de story if it arose.

So dat is de summary.

I know fuh myself I eh going to have anything to do with these fellers again.

But as a young person still with a sense of ideals these incidents (esp when de mentality does last, i.e Eric) does shake up yuh sense of stability and hope in society, and does leff yuh feeling dejected. Especially since Eric is de first or one of de first 'friend' I make in Canada...it does have meh thinking, what are de chances of dat, or exactly how many ppl does think like he?

Eric invite them fellers (my two bredren) to a bbq by he house dis weekend, he eh tell me nuttin. My dilemma is, is it my place to inform these my close friends of Eric and his puppet's mentality (because my bredren seem clueless and consider them friends), or should I let dem find out themselves and they will react however dey see fit.

A strong part of me want to do the first option and plans to do so

I like my shyt talk but I go appreciate some serious, rational insight please...like Filho/Kicker-esque ting
« Last Edit: June 28, 2007, 11:43:49 PM by Grande »

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Offline Bitter

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Re: A disturbing situation..sorry no Cliff notes
« Reply #1 on: June 29, 2007, 04:56:56 AM »
I does talk plenty shit on this forum, but I going and give it to you straight.
Every person will come to a time in thier lives when tough decisions need to be made. You real worth in this world will be determined by the choices you make in those moments.  Ask yourself if you can live with a clear conscience. If yes, then read this forum and dos study it again. If no, then you know what to do. As far as advice, that is the best I can do.

I'll give my own story.

I now come to the U.S. and me and my gyul went on a church excursion to an amusement park. On the way back the bus break down so we had to wait for a replacement. So see all of us in the parking lot waiting for the new bus 11:00 at night. Place shut down, lights turn off. All the employees gone - except one. whatever happen, she get stranded and was out in the middle of nowhere in NJ waiting for a ride. So when the bus finally reach, we work it out and give her a ride.
Now the new bus wasn't 100% either, and we had to make a detour to drop this girl.

Man start to get worried and vex. next thing you know big argument and cuss out on the bus. Man want to put the girl out on the side of the road. because "White people eh do nothing for we" and so I was like, this is B/S and say so. Man starting to get violent. I say my piece and then sit down and watch the events unfold. We leave the girl on the side of the road. in the middle of nowhere in the dark. I will regret the moment I decided to stop arguing and stay quiet for the rest of my life. That was somebody daughter we abandon.

I decide since then that not happening again.
Remember:  Evil prevails when good men fail to act.
All our actions, no matter how small contribute to the positive or negative aspects of this society we live in.

So like i say above, if you could live with that, then cool. If not, you know what to do. You don't need us to tell you.
Bitter is a supercalifragilistic tic-tac-pro

Offline Queen Macoomeh

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Re: A disturbing situation..sorry no Cliff notes
« Reply #2 on: June 29, 2007, 06:38:46 AM »
Grande, we touched on this earlier this year remember? You had asked me if there really was defined racism in Canada and Toronto specifically.
Now you know.

I'm with Bitters by and large. As you get older things become clearer, especially your mistakes. If this is bothering you enough to bring it here then like Bitters said, you know what to do.

To me, confronting Eric is a waste of time other than to let him know that you know his scene. But who knows? Maybe this is a 'style' for him to be accepted in his peer group...dunno. Just like some of us talk gangsta to fit in.

And yes, a lot of people think the way Eric does, some are brown skinned self haters, some are the same colour as you and hate whites. No one has the market on ignorance, we all share that commodity.

At the end of the day you need to do what is right for you. Some will be silent and accept, some will react violently, most will react somewhere in between those two poles.

Offline Cantona007

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Re: A disturbing situation..sorry no Cliff notes
« Reply #3 on: June 29, 2007, 08:10:10 AM »
I don't usually jump in, but... you asked a pretty direct question about whether or not you should tell your other (perhaps true) friends. Here is a direct answer. Yes. Bitter alluded to evil prevailing when good men are silent. If these other people are your friends and you care for them, then it is your duty to let them know of the poison in their midst. I am not saying that you go on a crusade against those guys (that would be pointless), but you should always have the welfare of those close to you uppermost. Of course you may encounter scepticism from your friends but that will be instructional as well. Life is too short to allow ourselves to be surrounded by poison.
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Offline dcs

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Re: A disturbing situation..sorry no Cliff notes
« Reply #4 on: June 29, 2007, 09:09:03 AM »

Eric will not let his true self be seen to those friends...u only saw it because of the other fellah.  You will know better how they will react to the info and/or if they would want to know. 

Tough situation you in but reassure yourself and when you feeling settled make a decision and think about what exactly you would say.

This part is not advice but what I might consider doing depending on how de Eric fellah is move.  I would confront him about the postings...maybe in the same sly informal way he like to drop them things...see what his reaction is (not in front of others).  Just so he knows clearly that you aware of his foolishness.  I feel people go on the internet and vent innermost conflicts without restraint.  At least this way before u talk to your friends you could say you test to see if he believe what he type.

Anyway...it have people out there like him who would influence others.  Is to make sure they don't let that shyte spread so do what you hadda do.

Offline Bakes

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Re: A disturbing situation..sorry no Cliff notes
« Reply #5 on: June 29, 2007, 10:15:18 AM »
I does talk plenty shit on this forum, but I going and give it to you straight.
Every person will come to a time in thier lives when tough decisions need to be made. You real worth in this world will be determined by the choices you make in those moments.  Ask yourself if you can live with a clear conscience. If yes, then read this forum and dos study it again. If no, then you know what to do. As far as advice, that is the best I can do.

I'll give my own story.

I now come to the U.S. and me and my gyul went on a church excursion to an amusement park. On the way back the bus break down so we had to wait for a replacement. So see all of us in the parking lot waiting for the new bus 11:00 at night. Place shut down, lights turn off. All the employees gone - except one. whatever happen, she get stranded and was out in the middle of nowhere in NJ waiting for a ride. So when the bus finally reach, we work it out and give her a ride.
Now the new bus wasn't 100% either, and we had to make a detour to drop this girl.

Man start to get worried and vex. next thing you know big argument and cuss out on the bus. Man want to put the girl out on the side of the road. because "White people eh do nothing for we" and so I was like, this is B/S and say so. Man starting to get violent. I say my piece and then sit down and watch the events unfold. We leave the girl on the side of the road. in the middle of nowhere in the dark. I will regret the moment I decided to stop arguing and stay quiet for the rest of my life. That was somebody daughter we abandon.

I decide since then that not happening again.
Remember:  Evil prevails when good men fail to act.
All our actions, no matter how small contribute to the positive or negative aspects of this society we live in.

So like i say above, if you could live with that, then cool. If not, you know what to do. You don't need us to tell you.

Great post.



...and to think this was a church outing.  I shudder to think what that girl (and the people she has told) think about black people, and 'foreigners' at that now.


Grande, you have an obligation to tell them men, if for no other reason but to tweak their conscience and/or put them on alert for Eric and his nonsense.

Offline pecan

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Re: A disturbing situation..sorry no Cliff notes
« Reply #6 on: June 29, 2007, 10:29:46 AM »
Grande, yuh in a tough situation boy.

If de other two guys are genuine friends and de group use to be tight, dey will probably wonder why you absent from the BBQ.

If I was in your place, these are the options I would consider

1) Say nothing and move on - continue to socialize with my two friends - but avoid any sensitive discussions re Eric and pretend everyting cool

2) Confide in my two friends that I no longer feel comfortable liming with Eric and Korea.  If dey ask why, I will tell dem that we seem to have fundamental philosophical and value differences regarding race.  They have made some comments and Eric seems to frequent a site that is supremest.  I will tell dem that I value their support and advice.  What should I do?

If they are really true friends and have backbone, it will manifest as continued friendship and support of me.  If not, then I have to decide how important that friendship is to me .   If, for the sake of companionship, I need them and I am willing to ignore hateful remarks, I will stay with them.  If on the other hand, I cyar take it anymore, I will walk and find new friends (easier said dan done).

This is only a decision you can make.  Because you have to live with de consequences.

Bitter made a decision one day - and like him, you have to decide if today is the day you make that decision.

It eh easy doh ....I sincerely wish de best for you.



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Offline STEUPS!!

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Re: A disturbing situation..sorry no Cliff notes
« Reply #7 on: June 29, 2007, 10:33:44 AM »
grande boy, dat never happen to me, but if i was in yuh position i would tell yuh "real" bredrens waiz Eric real scene.

jus for somebody who know d truth to have yuh back in case you an Eric geh away nah.
if dey doh have yuh back den yuh know dey wasnt genuine in d first place and yuh could jus separate yuhself from that whole crew.
 

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Offline Dutty

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Re: A disturbing situation..sorry no Cliff notes
« Reply #8 on: June 29, 2007, 12:43:54 PM »
Tough spot to be in grande......I surprised you never pick up on yuh racist pardner subtle vibes previous to this
Then again, he sound kinda mental to me...postin big on a white supremacist site and limin with non whites......de man cyah make ah commitment...real racists does commit
Like he have he still have on he racist training wheels

I think after Bitter post, I figure you done know what yuh hadda do

The only question is how yuh go cut dat cord...if was me..I not tellin the two other pardners in ah kinda undercover way

I meetin wit everybody together in a restaurant orwhatever and droppin de bomb out in the open
It doh have to be no emotional shoutin scenes...is just a very stoic, business like, stating facts as to what you find out.
Let lil hitler confirm or deny..express yuh utter dissapointment and ride..cold!  if friendship have to cut, it cut right dey
Dem two other fellahs could make up they own mind without any  clandestine information

...... & because I like to throw salt in the would I would mention to the korean fellah  that he eh exempt, that if he scan the site he will see the hateful things they have to say about koreans







Failing that, you could always invite Eric to ah lil soca party and let two baddest puddong ah wine on him..flim it and post de video on de white supremacist site

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Offline Grande

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Re: A disturbing situation..sorry no Cliff notes
« Reply #9 on: June 29, 2007, 02:05:32 PM »
Thanks Bitter and everyone else for taking de time to read this and sharing yuh thoughts and insights. It is much appreciated.

I carefully read through each response.

Some of you were saying it is a tough situation to be in and sometimes it is, but it kind of is not. Racism is a heavy scourge and dem is jes two backside who choose to ride that boat. If you are exposed to it, your responsibility is clear.

My two good friends will of course want to know why I done with Eric and Korean friend and I will be honest and give it to dem straight.

Right now I doh know what they will do with dat information. Right now dey oblivious. Like pecan say I will be grateful fuh their true support and solidarity if given. If not, say what, two friends eh worth my personal stance against racism, or its effect on ppl.

If I don't confront Eric, it go be something I will keep regretting because I will have never truly faced the source and the world go be a bit worse for it.

So as for confronting him, I going to do so. I honestly eh know how yet, but I have allyuh suggestions into consideration.

Thanks again brothers and sisters for de thoughts and insight.





« Last Edit: June 29, 2007, 02:07:43 PM by Grande »

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Offline capodetutticapi

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Re: A disturbing situation..sorry no Cliff notes
« Reply #10 on: June 29, 2007, 02:42:25 PM »
just move on brother.
soon ah go b ah lean mean bulling machine.

Offline Cantona007

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Re: A disturbing situation..sorry no Cliff notes
« Reply #11 on: June 29, 2007, 02:55:54 PM »
Thanks Bitter and everyone else for taking de time to read this and sharing yuh thoughts and insights. It is much appreciated.

I carefully read through each response.

Some of you were saying it is a tough situation to be in and sometimes it is, but it kind of is not. Racism is a heavy scourge and dem is jes two backside who choose to ride that boat. If you are exposed to it, your responsibility is clear.

My two good friends will of course want to know why I done with Eric and Korean friend and I will be honest and give it to dem straight.

Right now I doh know what they will do with dat information. Right now dey oblivious. Like pecan say I will be grateful fuh their true support and solidarity if given. If not, say what, two friends eh worth my personal stance against racism, or its effect on ppl.

If I don't confront Eric, it go be something I will keep regretting because I will have never truly faced the source and the world go be a bit worse for it.

So as for confronting him, I going to do so. I honestly eh know how yet, but I have allyuh suggestions into consideration.

Thanks again brothers and sisters for de thoughts and insight.







big up yuhself Grande... God will be with you and He will lead you to do the right thing... don't feel no pressure.
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Offline Grande

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Re: A disturbing situation..sorry no Cliff notes
« Reply #12 on: June 29, 2007, 03:10:33 PM »
Thanks Cantona, I eh go lie the whole thing have meh upset.

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Offline RasIred

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Re: A disturbing situation..sorry no Cliff notes
« Reply #13 on: June 29, 2007, 03:14:40 PM »
Yow Grande..........You doh want people like that round you at all. Liming with under cover racist ??.I doh think you an dem boy is friend........so doh sweat it. You might know peeps in the same circle..but them is not u friend......cause last time i see u .....u eh white or asian !!

Other thing....u say White boy.is a nationalist......how the arse he an the Korean dude hanging ?? Tha boy confused awah ? ?? CAUSE HE SHOULD not be liming hanging out wid nobody else but Whitey..so tell him he a Hypocrite and you should remind Korean boy  to look in a mirror

So yeah tell them they talking tata .clear u chest.....if they railing up still............A " hull u mudda ...." usually would make u feel better and doh study them at all

Offline Touches

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Re: A disturbing situation..sorry no Cliff notes
« Reply #14 on: June 30, 2007, 07:29:58 AM »
Grande,

What was it in the first place that made You and Eric become friends?

You say Eric is a white Russian migrating to Canada so essentially he is simply a product of his environment.

No person is inherently bad...we are all good. It is our interaction with others and what we are taught that makes us who we are.

My suggestion to you is this.

Since you and Eric and the Korean and whoever else were cool and are/were friends be big men and openly discuss what going on.

Pull Eric one side and say...I find yuh moving ahow? Why? Did you see me in the same light growing up and have I changed in your eyes or am I the same person.

If he hit you...Nah you different...you not like "THEM" then ask him what he mean by that.

Then Pull the Korean over and ask him what is he scene!

Now you have to realise that people could be friends and disagree over certain things. ALyuh could laugh have fun and share different views and thing but when it gets desrespectful then you have to draw the line.

Grande since you used to ignore...silence in some instances means consent...and Your partners never even knew you were offended and felt comfortable around you.

Finally I suggest you have a lime and all of you get together and say your piece and get it orf your chest. You is a big man and does pee froth. Openly say Eric and Korean alyuh does make racist statements and I not comfortable and move orn from there.

Breds the only person who can have emotion or have an effect on anything is YOU. You and your mental state are the determining factors as to what affects you. If you cyar handle it,them,the comments etc. Simply say fellas it was nice, remember the good times and ride out.

If anything is causing you grief you must let it go.

Eric and Korean and whoever else does affect your life in any way? They putting food on your table or paying yuh salary? You can tell then F^&k Away easy easy and walk off.





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Offline Grande

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Re: A disturbing situation..sorry no Cliff notes
« Reply #15 on: June 30, 2007, 11:30:49 AM »
That is what might have to happen.

Touches when Eric and I used to lime de few and far between comments he would make would often touch on stereotypes about people and we would ignore it, but yes I always wondered.

There is only so far you could take a stereotype and if yuh is a closet racist then you could use them to your advantage real good and look innocent innocent. Still, I blame myself fuh not taking Eric aside there and then.

Anyway is only since that incident in de car, discovery of his avid usage of Stormfront and remembrance of those certain comments that I know for sure about Eric.

You say Eric is a white Russian migrating to Canada so essentially he is simply a product of his environment.

I eh know what kinda vibes it have in Russia, I heard certain things but I know two other Russian fellers fairly well and dey don't even give off a hint of what Eric is like.

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Offline just cool

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Re: A disturbing situation..sorry no Cliff notes
« Reply #16 on: June 30, 2007, 04:50:13 PM »
You may not want to hear my take, but i can't resist. any way, a good girl is the hardest thing to find , apart from that , all plotonic relationships are replaceable, so my advice to you, cut and run BC it's only down hill from here. ppl out grow each especailly when they meet as youths, and as time progress folks find out who they really are and they somtimes move onn and flock with the ppl who  holds their present interest. in trini i had white friends ,some i met in school, some i met through freinds and family, junior achievment, and the YMCA, but we are no longer friends BC ppl move onn when they grow into adults and they adopt their own philosophy on life. when these white dudes head south i headed north, they would pass me by in the streets and i did the same, they hung out with prim and proper ppl and i hung out with real bad huligans from the hood who were bandits and drug dealers, and up till now the bandits and the drug dealers are my life long friends BC we met as adults when we concluded who we are and what philosophy we want to adhear to, not that i condone gansterism, on the contrary i really don't , but these guys will always be my friends BC we have the same philosophy in common, just differant occupations.               positive.
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Offline ribbit

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Re: A disturbing situation..sorry no Cliff notes
« Reply #17 on: June 30, 2007, 05:43:34 PM »
grande, that is an unfortunate situation. i think you have to play it cool - these kinds of ideological conflicts cannot be resolved by words. leaving that door of friendship open is all you can do and hopefully your paths will cross later in life with this chapter behind you. i knew people when i was growing up something like that - where they stopped viewing you as you and started viewing you as a representative of a race. that was when it was time to move in different circles and find other people to lime with.

 

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