More fuel for de fire ...
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I Confess Keeping black girl on the side
Published on: 9/22/07.
As told to Sanka Price
THERE ARE CERTAIN topics people in this country prefer not to speak about. One of these is race, or to put it bluntly, the question of white and black.
As a white Barbadian male I am in a privileged position to discuss this issue and I choose this medium because of the anonymity it gives.
Like so many of my (white) friends, married or otherwise, I have had many affairs with black women.
I have never thought of marrying any of them, and definitely have never thought of fathering a child with any. I do, however, have sex regularly with them.
My confession here should not astound anyone. After all, such affairs have been going on from the time of slavery. But I am admitting it because I enjoy black girls, and hopefully by breaking some ice on the issue, some of the other guys I know who date these girls would come forward and openly admit their preference.
Now, let me give you a run down on my exploits with black girls.
My first intimate encounter with a black woman was when I was 17 and still at secondary school. The young lady (who is married today) was so attracted to me that every time I looked at her all she could do was blush.
As you would expect, in those days we as white and black children hardly mixed socially even though we sat side by side in the same classroom, played on the same teams, and sometimes caught the same bus to get home if for some reason our usual lift was late in coming or just couldn't make it.
Problems dating black
Therefore you could understand how perplexed I was by her attention. I told my friends and asked them what they thought I should do. The answer was obvious.
The young lady and myself began talking shortly after that. I found her to be a very pleasant person, articulate, and possessing a much sharper intellect than mine.
Indeed, I found her to be capable of conversing on most topics with a fluency that I envied. Like most teens we spent hours on the telephone and courted heavily at school. After a few reports to my friends, however, I stopped. It wasn't funny anymore, because I was beginning to like this girl.
There were problems however. The first one was going out with her in public. Though I liked her a lot, I could not be seen with her.
In those days, every Saturday I went to the Vista cinema with my friends. My sister was dating one of the guys in the group, so if I had demonstrated more than a passing interest in a black girl, my parents would have heard about it and that would have spelt trouble.
The second difficulty I had was keeping my friendship with this girl a secret from my real girlfriend. One of my friends had been dating my girlfriend's sister and he did not particularly like the idea of me having a black girl.
What increased the pressure on me was the constant invitation from my black friend to go with her to the cinema or the beach. Although she did not insist when I said no, I couldn't help but feel guilty.
The fact that my whole world was built around a particular circle of friends made it impossible for me to accept her invitations. I didn't want my friends to think I was getting serious.
Anyway, when the holidays came, we secretly were able to meet each other on the beach and a few other places where we did not meet with too many glares.
She never once asked me to do things she knew would expose our relationship. Best of all, she never mentioned 'our problem' or behaved as if she was better than anyone else, as I find to be the case most times when one starts dating black girls.
It was after I began working that I realised the stupid things I had been told about black people were not true, but nevertheless it did make us white kids feel superior to them.
I remember members of my family, especially my father speaking of their laziness, indifferent attitude, their "thiefing ways" and so on. Because of my interaction with black people, I know those to be myths. A few weeks after starting work at the bank, I was dating the black clerk/typist who worked there. By this time I had my first car, so moving around freely was no headache like before.
Enjoying affair
Unfortunately for me however, this girl turned out to be one who "puts on airs" as the saying goes. She was too interested in dressing well with her hair and face all fancy, and showing off that she had a white boyfriend. Apparently, even her work began to suffer, too, because one day my boss called me into his office to tell me "the facts of life" as he termed it.
It was quite acceptable to have sex with the girl, he said, but I was to make sure that she knew it could not be more serious than that.
In other words I was given the go ahead to fool around, but was to make sure no one got attached. That affair eventually fizzled out.
Presently, I'm having an affair with another black girl. A sweet thing, bright and very versatile as well. I have never had a problem with her, and she knows that I also have a white girlfriend and accepts it.
The truth is that I like her a lot, and this being a different day and age, there are quite a few mixed couples who go around openly now. I however, have not yet found the courage to do so.
I suspect, however, that if my love for this girl grows I may one day find the courage to defy my family and friends and come out in the open and declare my love; but for now, I'm enjoying life as it is. Even if I do end up marrying my white girlfriend, I suppose I'll always have a black girl as a friend.
