Tom Saintfiet: Hello! TTFA? Is it true, de dictator has been toppled? Whaaaat? I dey! What? Anil who? What? Slow meh roll? What? Short-term wuk? What? Gold Cup playoff? What? Guyana or Barbados? What? By Friday? Who is DL? Belgium? I am Belgian. Is this the TTFA or the Belgian FA? Either way AH READY! Yeah, slowing meh roll.
What? Yeah, ah know the introduction press conference routine. Ah affordable and cheap and perform or lose de wuk. Second choice. What? Williams and Cyrus still dey? Approaching retirement? Ok, ah geh yuh. Ah go handle dem "Odouls drinkers".
What? No double-header friendlies and none against Nicaragua or Anguilla? What? FIFA rankings? What? There will be home games?

What? What ah doing? Ah in a Uber on de way to de airport, my 'go' bag always packed nah ... yuh know ah like meh midnight resignations. What? Doh call allyuh, allyuh will call me? So ... what to tell de driver? Ah go take it here? What? Tell him to pick up who? Meh physio? What disres...? No usual suspects?

See allyuh in court. Allyuh paying fuh meh Uber. Oy, text me de Lawrence fella number nah. What? He doh like phone calls? Ok, ok. Ah will have Gambia text him, ah have a flight to Brussels to ketch.
Under his breath as he hangs up: "Friggin Trinis!"