Internet addiction

[ricky]

Interesting read,

"Like other addicts, users experience cravings, urges, withdrawal and tolerance, requiring more and better equipment and software, or more and more hours online, according to Dr. Jerald Block, a psychiatrist at the Oregon Health and Science University in Portland.

Block says people can lose all track of time or neglect "basic drives," like eating or sleeping. Relapse rates are high, he writes, and some people may need psychoactive medications or hospitalization.

Block says about 86 per cent of Internet addicts have some other form of mental illness, but that unless a therapist is looking for it, Internet addiction is likely to be missed....

According to addiction therapist John Macdonald, of the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health in Toronto, computer use becomes problematic when the behaviour starts affecting people's lives.

For example, is the person preoccupied with getting and staying online? "If they're not able to engage in it, is it emotionally upsetting for them?

"Are they isolating themselves too much?" Macdonald asks. "Is too much time being diverted to that activity?

Is it causing upheaval or conflict in their relationships

"The real proof in the pudding is: Is the amount that you do causing any problems in your life?"


http://www.canada.com/edmontonjournal/news/story.html?id=b893e10e-b729-45ba-ba7f-663bcbd96f15

[WestCoast]

Internet Saftey: Respond vs. React – Dealing With Bullies On The Internet 
 

Author:Stephanie Davies

Learn how to deal with internet bullies, stalkers, and trolls while protecting yourself and your sanity!

It is unfortunate, and inevitable, that if you spend any amount of time on the Internet you will eventually have an encounter with someone who is rude, troublesome, or even downright insane. After 9 years on the internet, I have seen my fair share of trolls, idiots, troublemakers, script-kiddies, and many other aggravating types online. While never pleasant, and encounter with these types of people can be dealt with in a positive manner that will allow you to stop the frustration and anger while discouraging them from continuing their actions.

Whenever you have an encounter with anyone online, it is completely different from a real-life encounter. Online, you can’t pick up verbal or physical cues that you normally would, not to mention that the internet is a huge place and to use the old saying “It takes all kinds". Some problems you will encounter will people online are easier solved than others, and while it is hard to understand, there are people online whose sole purpose is to start problems with others and to cause others pain and aggravation (these people are generally termed “trolls" in the online communities). Additionally, there are sets of online mannerisms, etiquette, and codes of conduct that are sometimes unspoken and unwritten that must be acknowledged in any online community.

When you first encounter someone who is giving you a hard time on the Internet, the first thing to do is to not react emotionally to the situation. Sometimes these people can become very personal, or even downright cruel or threatening, so you need to step back from the situation, calm yourself down and not make an immediate reaction to the person’s actions. To send an immediate reaction of your emotions and thoughts will most likely just encourage that person to keep responding and trying to get further under your skin. They have, much like a three-year-old might do, gotten a reaction out of you and will now continue their actions to get more of a reaction.

So after you have stepped back and allowed yourself time to calm down, the next part of the process is to identify the person’s goals in what they’ve said. Allow for the possibility of miscommunication first. If the person is responding to something you’ve said, is it possible that they misunderstood you, or that you are misunderstanding them? Remember, we can’t take non-verbal cues over the Internet, such as tone of voice, facial expressions, and body language – and some people are simply not good communicators. So take a look at the intent of the action and ask yourself if the person could be confused, or if you are misunderstanding them. If you think it may be a miscommunication on either part, respond with calm, collected thoughts and re-state your original intent with different wording and perhaps explain it out a little better to see if that helps the situation.

If the person seems to be just communicating you to harass, insult, or you get the feeling that they are being hurtful on purpose, then that person probably falls into one of the following categories: People who are idiots, People who are naturally mean (and would be in real life), and People who are trying to purposefully get a rise out of you for their own amusement. You can recognize these types of people if they use any of the following tactics:

1. Not making any logical sense in their communication.

2. Their communication has little, if any point to it.

3. The communication is filled with curse words, insults, and/or threatening language.

4. The communication may even be worded with correct grammar and a sense that they are stating a perfectly acceptable and even “righteous" statement, when the intent of the email is to hurt or anger you.

5. “Masked" threats, or hidden and subtle language that contains verbal “daggers" to get to you.

6. Continued communication to you, especially if you have chosen to ignore their actions.

7. The whole point of the communication is to insult you, demean or demoralize you, or to make you angry or fearful.

When coming into contact with these types of people the very first thing to do is to NOT RESPOND TO THEIR EFFORTS. I can’t emphasize that enough. While initially, ignoring their efforts may actually seem to make the problem worse (there is nothing a troll hates more than NOT getting attention!), in the long run, the game will get old to the person, and usually they will move on. This may take some time, and will be frustrating for you until they get tired of the game. Usually, their entire purpose in this is to cause you to become emotional, and to “keep the fires going" by encouraging their further response. And as the emails can be sometimes very personal, rude, and hurtful, it can be extremely hard to step back from the situation and remain calm while receiving these communications. Just remember that the other person does not know you, does not care about your feelings, and is simply a rude person. While their communications may seem very personal (they love to include personal attacks) they are only going by what they know of you online, and are using every tactic they can to get you to respond emotionally.

With that being said, there is a final category of people that thankfully, most people do not encounter over the internet, and these are the most dangerous – and most seriously disturbed – people on the internet. Just as in real life, there are sometimes true psychopaths on the Internet as well. These people may send you direct threats – to your own person, your family, your business, or other direct threats. These people cannot be reasoned with, and while they may or may not carry out the threats, it is important that you deal with these people quickly and thoroughly. The first thing to do if you get personal threats is to SAVE all copies of any messages that are sent by that person. If the situation escalates, you may need all of the proof you can get. The next thing to do is to NOT respond. Do not acknowledge their emails or correspond with them in any way.

Next, you need to call or visit your local police office, and file a report on the person threatening you. Any direct threat to you, your family or business should be taken very seriously and not ignored. Take copies of the threatening communication to the police, along with any information you have on this person (name, email address, IP address, location if you know it, and anything else that might help the police). Also, if the person has directly threatened you, make sure you step up your personal security! Be sure to lock all the doors on your house, be aware of suspicious vehicles or people around your neighborhood, and let someone else close to you know that you’ve been threatened. Even if the person making the threats isn’t serious, it is impossible to tell that over the Internet, and you should take every precaution to make sure that no harm comes to you.

You may also report these people to the following online resource, Wired Safety.Org. You should also immediately report these people to their ISP if at all possible, or at the very least, to their email provider.

Finally, when dealing with idiots on the Internet, it is important to remember that there are billions of people on the internet, and eventually you will have to deal with people you don’t like or come into conflict with. Be sure that when you do respond, it is with intelligent thought and with a calm, non-confrontational message. Stooping to “their level" will only make things worse. Also, keep as much information about yourself as private as you can. The more information someone has about you, the easier it is to bully you. Try to recognize what the person is wanting from you: A reaction? To hurt you emotionally? To get you angry? Recognize their purpose then don’t give them the satisfaction of replying in that way. If their messages are being sent through an online community of any sort, be sure to report their communications to the administrators or people in charge of that community as well.

 

[TriniCana]

Found this an interesting read.

The Internet can be a wonderful resource for kids. They can use it to research school reports, communicate with teachers and other kids, and play interactive games. Any child who is old enough to punch in a few letters on the keyboard can literally access the world.

But that access can also pose hazards to your children. For example, your 8-year-old might log on to a search engine and type in the word "Lego." But with just one missed keystroke, he or she might enter the word "Legs" instead, and be directed to thousands of websites with a focus on legs - some of which may contain pornographic material.

That's why it's important to be aware of what your children see and hear on the Internet, who they meet, and what they share about themselves online.

Just like any safety issue, it's a good idea to talk with your kids about your concerns, take advantage of resources to protect them from potential dangers, and keep a close eye on their activities.

Internet Safety Laws
A federal law has been created to help protect your kids while they are using the Internet. It is designed to keep anyone from obtaining your kids' personal information without you knowing about it and agreeing to it first.

The Children's Online Privacy Protection Act (COPPA) requires websites to explain their privacy policies on the site and get parents' consent before collecting or using a child's personal information, such as a name, address, phone number, or social security number. The law also prohibits a site from requiring a child to provide more personal information than necessary to play a game or contest.

But even with this law, your child's best online protection is you. By talking to your child about potential online dangers and monitoring his or her computer use, you'll be helping your child to surf the Internet safely.

Online Tools to Protect Your Child
There are online tools that you can use to control your child's access to adult material and help protect your child from Internet predators. No option is going to guarantee that your child will be kept away from 100% of the risks on the Internet. So it's important that you be aware of your child's computer activity and educate your child about the online risks.

Many Internet service providers (ISPs) provide parent-control options to block certain material from coming in to your child's computer. There is also software that can help block your child's access to certain sites based on a "bad site" list that your ISP creates. Filtering programs can block sites from coming in and restrict your child's personal information from being sent online. You can also find programs to monitor and track your child's online activity. Also, it's a good idea to create a screen name for your child to protect his or her real identity.

Become computer literate and learn how to block objectionable material.

Keep the computer in a common area, not in individual bedrooms, where you can watch and monitor your child.
Share an email account with your child so you can monitor messages.
Bookmark your child's favorite sites for easy access.
Spend time online together to teach your child appropriate online behavior.
Forbid your child from entering private chat rooms; block them with safety features provided by your Internet service provider or with special filtering software. Be aware that posting messages to chat rooms reveals your child's email address to others.
Monitor your credit card and phone bills for unfamiliar account charges.
Find out what, if any, online protection is offered by your child's school, after-school center, friends' homes, or any place where he or she could use a computer without your supervision.
Take your child seriously if he or she reports an uncomfortable online exchange.
Forward copies of obscene or threatening messages you or your child receives to your Internet service provider.

It's also a good idea to set up some simple rules for your kids to follow while they're using the Internet. These rules may include:

Follow the rules you set, as well as those set by your Internet service provider.
Never trade personal photographs in the mail or scanned photographs over the Internet.
Never reveal personal information, such as address, phone number, or school name or location. Use only a screen name. Never agree to meet anyone from a chat room in person.
Never respond to a threatening email or message.
Always tell a parent about any communication or conversation that was scary.
If your child has a new "friend," insist on being "introduced" online to that friend.

Chat Room Caution
A chat room is a virtual online room where a chat session takes place. Chat rooms are set up according to interest or subject, such as skiing or a favorite TV show. Because people can communicate to each other alone or in a group, chat rooms are among the most popular destinations on the Web - especially for kids and teens.

But there are hazards to chat rooms for kids. There have been incidents where kids met "friends" who were interested in exploiting them through chat rooms. No one knows how common chat-room predators are, but pedophiles (adults who are sexually interested in children) are known to frequent chat rooms.

These predators sometimes prod their online acquaintances to exchange personal information, such as addresses and phone numbers, thus putting the kids they are chatting with - and their families - at risk.

Many pedophiles pose as teenagers in chat rooms. Because many kids have been told by parents not to give out their home phone numbers, pedophiles may encourage kids to call them; with caller id, the offenders instantly have the kids' phone numbers.

Warning Signs That Your Child May Be a Victim
There are warning signs that your child is being targeted by an online predator. Your child may be spending long hours online, especially at night. If there are phone calls from people you don't know or unsolicited gifts arriving in the mail, it's a good idea to ask your child about any Internet contacts. If your child suddenly turns off the computer when you walk into the room, ask why and monitor computer time more closely. Withdrawal from family life and reluctance to discuss online activities are other signs that you need to look more closely at what your child is doing online.

By taking an active role in your child's Internet activities, you'll be ensuring that he or she can benefit from the wealth of valuable information the Internet has to offer, without being exposed to any potential dangers.

Updated and reviewed by: Steven Dowshen, MD
Date reviewed: April 2005
Originally reviewed by: Steven Dowshen, MD, and Neil Izenberg, MD