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Author Topic: Emerson Reveals That He Is 70!  (Read 2562 times)

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Offline Gladman

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Emerson Reveals That He Is 70!
« on: October 15, 2008, 09:18:29 AM »
Jus saw this article on goal .com and since everybody in a tense mood abou he game tonite jus gave u someting to laugh.


AC Milan midfielder Emerson has confessed that he is a lot older than was previously thought. The Brazilian has admitted that he robbed a grocery store in Rio de Janeiro back in 1950 when he was just 12-years-old.
Back in his prime Emerson was widely regarded as one of the best holding midfielders in world football, but in recent years his decline in form and fitness has been rapid. The Brazilian struggled during his one season at Real Madrid in 2006/07, while he has become something of a laughing stock since joining Milan last year.

Emerson is registered with the Italian league as being just 32-years-of-age, but his physical appearance and pedestrian play has suggested that he is a lot older than this.

Until now the ex-Roma man has always shrugged off claims about his age. Only a week ago, Emerson stated: “These are vicious and baseless rumours, and the next person who tries to say I am older than I am will have my fists to answer for.”

Over the weekend though, new evidence came to the fore that appeared to shed more light on Emerson’s real age. Archive footage of Brazil’s infamous 1950 World Cup final defeat to Uruguay was released for a new documentary. After the game at the Maracana in Rio, a 12-year-old boy, up-in-arms at his country’s tragic loss, is filmed smashing up a local groceries’ shop window before breaking in and looting the place for food. The boy had an uncanny resemblance to Emerson, and 58 years later he has now confessed that it was indeed he who was being filmed.

“For almost 60 years I have lived with the guilt of this shameful act, and it is something that has been eating me up inside,” the anchor man said after Milan’s 2-1 friendly defeat to FK Tirana last night.

“Now it is time to come clean. I confess that I was the person who vandalised that store before stealing the eggs, fruit, and Dubble Bubble.

“I am ashamed at what I did, and nothing I say now can ever make up for it, but I was just a young boy and didn’t know what I was doing. I was only 12, and I was devastated after Brazil lost. I saw a Brazil flag in the shop window, and that is when I snapped.”

Emerson’s confession means that it can now be deduced that he is in fact 70-years-old, and not 32.

One would have assumed that this stunning revelation would have implications on his Milan career, however Rossoneri vice president Adriano Galliani has insisted that Emerson will be staying at the club, and that he may even be handed a new contract.

“Emerson is 70? I have said many times that age is irrelevant,” ‘Uncle Fester’ declared this morning.

“Just think how much experience Emerson has that can be passed onto our younger players like Paolo Maldini and Giuseppe Favalli. He will be staying, and in fact I am thinking of offering him a new deal. He is an example to us all.”

The owner of the grocery store, who had to close his shop a year later due to his economic losses, has also been interviewed, but he insists that he forgives Emerson for what he did.

Marcos Havelange, 100, told Globoesporta: “For 58 years I have been in darkness as to who was responsible. I am pleased to finally find out.

“Emerson may have forced me to close down my business and go bankrupt, but I forgive him.”

goal.com

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Offline ON DE BLOCK

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Re: Emerson Reveals That He Is 70!
« Reply #1 on: October 15, 2008, 10:45:59 AM »
wow, im speechless :o

Online lefty

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Re: Emerson Reveals That He Is 70!
« Reply #2 on: October 15, 2008, 10:47:55 AM »
if jack read dis expect call ups for dwight and lattas till 2045 :rotfl: ::) :'(
I pity the fool....

Offline Midknight

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Re: Emerson Reveals That He Is 70!
« Reply #3 on: October 15, 2008, 10:48:51 AM »
goal.com again











 ;D
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Offline Mad Scorpion a/k/a Big Bo$$

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Re: Emerson Reveals That He Is 70!
« Reply #4 on: October 15, 2008, 10:51:25 AM »
No f**kin way!!! 70 jedd?!! Nah!!! :o

Offline vb

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Re: Emerson Reveals That He Is 70!
« Reply #5 on: October 15, 2008, 11:15:23 AM »
This is some kind of joke right?

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Online lefty

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Re: Emerson Reveals That He Is 70!
« Reply #6 on: October 15, 2008, 12:39:20 PM »
if that is true (highly doubtful) but If............I would donate money to the smithsonian to study he body u sure to find a cure for something
I pity the fool....

Offline Slade

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Re: Emerson Reveals That He Is 70!
« Reply #7 on: October 15, 2008, 12:48:40 PM »
Yuh lying.... I don't beleive that.

Offline assrancid

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Re: Emerson Reveals That He Is 70!
« Reply #8 on: October 15, 2008, 01:58:10 PM »
I cant believe you guys are actually buying into a parody!

Offline kiffysmooth

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Re: Emerson Reveals That He Is 70!
« Reply #9 on: October 15, 2008, 02:03:41 PM »
Nobody would believe my neighbor was 21 years old in Belmont Junior Secondary, and he didnt look it nydah.....

Ah tink he went on to do school leaving or someting so...

Offline assrancid

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Re: Emerson Reveals That He Is 70!
« Reply #10 on: October 15, 2008, 02:08:01 PM »
Yes guy, and Ronaldo {Portugal}went St Fancois Girls

Offline dinho

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Re: Emerson Reveals That He Is 70!
« Reply #11 on: October 15, 2008, 02:31:16 PM »
Allyuh never watch Marvin Gordon good in he Malick days?

I feel he clocking about 45 by now.. :devil:
         

Offline Grande

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Re: Emerson Reveals That He Is 70!
« Reply #12 on: October 15, 2008, 02:43:36 PM »
I really feel Emerson older than he say though. He does look like a ole man. Cafu is a next one I was suspicious about but his stamina made believe otherwise.

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Offline Filho

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Re: Emerson Reveals That He Is 70!
« Reply #13 on: October 15, 2008, 03:41:08 PM »
I really feel Emerson older than he say though. He does look like a ole man. Cafu is a next one I was suspicious about but his stamina made believe otherwise.

Cafu? Dais a new one.

Looks can be deceiving. Most ballers age real fast after they turn 30. In fact,a  34 year old baller does look like a old man on the pitch compared to a 34 year old civilian who does look like a normal young fella on the street. Is de fitness regimen and the high level of stress of professional sports. After a while...the extreme devotion to fitness does make the fellas look hard and worn and the fellas who play at the highest level constantly under a lot of stress (just a theory). the hard partying doh help either.

There are plenty young ballers like Rooney and Arjen Robben who look much older than they really are. Then fellas who jess age real fast after they trun 30. Like Cuahtemoc Blanco. Dat man look like he is 45. Easy.

Offline Blue

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Re: Emerson Reveals That He Is 70!
« Reply #14 on: October 15, 2008, 03:47:07 PM »
Yakubu says he's 25 


But Yakubu's younger brother is over 30 :rotfl:

Offline Warrior till death

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Re: Emerson Reveals That He Is 70!
« Reply #15 on: October 15, 2008, 03:48:27 PM »
Emerson is 32 years

Offline Gladman

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Re: Emerson Reveals That He Is 70!
« Reply #16 on: October 16, 2008, 08:40:17 AM »
This makes Emerson the oldest active footballer :rotfl:
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Offline weary1969

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Re: Emerson Reveals That He Is 70!
« Reply #17 on: October 16, 2008, 08:43:40 AM »
Who cares
Today you're the dog, tomorrow you're the hydrant - so be good to others - it comes back!"