First off, meh bamsee making mehgee like I going and sit an exam.
Secondly, I wish Real's De La Red all the best as he might not ever be able to play competitive football again.
Barcelona v Real Madrid: Preview
New Real Madrid boss Juande Ramos says his side have nothing to fear in Saturday's highly-anticipated derby clash against Barcelona at the Nou Camp.
Ramos took over from Bernd Schuster after the German coach was sacked on Tuesday.
Following his side's 4-3 defeat at home to Sevilla on Sunday, Schuster had claimed that the champions would not be able to beat Barcelona. That negative statement appeared to be the last straw for the Madrid board and the German was soon relieved of his duties, despite having brought two titles to the club last season.
The club wasted no time in appointing Ramos - who was recently sacked by Tottenham - until the end of the season.
The former Spurs boss then led his new side to an impressive 3-0 win over Zenit St Petersburg in the Champions League on Wednesday.
And Ramos was in a positive mood ahead of El Clasico.
"In this type of games there is no clear favourite,'' he said.
"The team is in good shape and we are convinced we can win the match, the players are very ambitious.''
The former Sevilla coach says he has not contemplated losing.
"Losing is not in my vocabulary at the moment,'' he said.
Ramos was full of praise for Barcelona, but believes the Catalans are beatable.
"Barcelona play great football and their players work perfectly together, but we are going for the victory. No team is invincible,'' he said.
And the new Madrid boss said he may adopt a five-man defence to deal with Barcelona's star-studded attack.
"I won't rule out using five defenders,'' he said.
"We could also play with four in defence, but only the players and I know how we have to play.''
Madrid currently sit in fifth place, a full nine points behind Barcelona.
And the champions' season has been blighted by a string of injuries.
Ruud van Nistelrooy, Mahamadou Diarra and Ruben De La Red are all sidelined for the rest of the campaign, while Gabriel Heinze, Pepe and Miguel Torres will also miss the game through injury.
Recent signing Klaas Jan Huntelaar is also injured, but is ineligible until January anyway.
Huntelaar's fellow Dutch international, Wesley Sneijder, has been called up to the squad for the derby, but the midfielder has not fully recovered from the injury he picked up against Getafe two weeks ago and is unlikely to be risked.
"If he's not OK, it's better not to risk it because he could break down and be out for another four weeks,'' said Ramos.
Marcelo and Arjen Robben also miss out through suspension.
Barcelona coach Pep Guardiola warned his players that Madrid's long list of casualties may make the champions even more dangerous.
"I have no idea which team Juande Ramos will pick because I'm not in Valdebebas (where Madrid train), but I am more scared of them with all these players out than if they came here with all of them (fit),'' he said.
"They are Real Madrid players and in that sense, it's a team like Barca: a team in which there are no second-rate players.''
Barcelona lost the corresponding fixture 1-0 last season and were thrashed 4-1 when the two teams met at the Santiago Bernabeu, a game in which the Catalan outfit were forced to welcome Madrid onto the pitch with a guard of honour as Schuster's side had just been crowned champions.
But Guardiola - who was Barca's youth team coach at the time - hopes revenge is not a motivating factor for his players.
"I hope they don't set out for revenge, that shouldn't be the way to go,'' he said.
"If we are able to concentrate on the game, the result will be the consequence of what happens (on the pitch) and we will have our chances, but I've told them to forget about the past and concentrate on the game.''
And Guardiola warned his players that, despite their rivals' obvious problems this season, Madrid are still champions.
"We'll go for it from the start, the result will be what it will be after that, but nobody should forget that we are up against the champions: that's my message,'' he said.
Andres Iniesta will train before the game and could make a surprise return following more than a month on the sidelines.
Should the Spain midfielder be deemed fit to play, Gabi Milito will be the only Barcelona player sidelined for the match.
The Argentina defender is still recovering from a long-term injury and has not featured all season.
Up front, Samuel Eto'o returns from suspension and looks set to start in the centre forward role.
That means Thierry Henry - who scored a hat-trick in last week's 4-0 thrashing of Valencia - will revert to left side of the team's three-pronged attack, with Lionel Messi on the right.
Barcelona lead the Primera Liga by six points from Villarreal, having won 11 or their past 12 league matches.
