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Author Topic: No Sex Tonight  (Read 650 times)

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Offline nobody_s angel

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No Sex Tonight
« on: September 25, 2005, 05:16:09 PM »
Why do all these jokes have to make women look bad. Anyway this was funny.  :D

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much.  And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing.
I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." I said "WHAT?? What was that?"
So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...
"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am  not what I do for you in the bedroom?"
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit.
We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."

She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.

Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled WHAT?"
I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.
You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"
Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.
« Last Edit: September 25, 2005, 05:21:54 PM by Tallman »

Offline Feliziano

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Re: No Sex Tonight
« Reply #1 on: September 25, 2005, 08:36:55 PM »
that was so funny..i think i going to try that and see how much trouble ah going to get in  ;D
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Offline sprog

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Re: No Sex Tonight
« Reply #2 on: June 28, 2006, 01:36:38 PM »