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Offline elan

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Soccer Is Ruining America
« on: March 18, 2009, 10:35:11 PM »
Soccer Is Ruining America
And we have no one to blame but ourselves.
By STEPHEN H. WEBB


Soccer is running America into the ground, and there is very little anyone can do about it. Social critics have long observed that we live in a therapeutic society that treats young people as if they can do no wrong. Every kid is a winner, and nobody is ever left behind, no matter how many times they watch the ball going the other way. Whether the dumbing down of America or soccer came first is hard to say, but soccer is clearly an important means by which American energy, drive and competitiveness are being undermined to the point of no return.


 What other game, to put it bluntly, is so boring to watch? (Bowling and golf come to mind, but the sound of crashing pins and the sight of the well-attired strolling on perfectly kept greens are at least inherently pleasurable activities.) The linear, two-dimensional action of soccer is like the rocking of a boat but without any storm and while the boat has not even left the dock. Think of two posses pursuing their prey in opposite directions without any bullets in their guns. Soccer is the fluoridation of the American sporting scene.

For those who think I jest, let me put forth four points, which is more points than most fans will see in a week of games—and more points than most soccer players have scored since their pee-wee days.

1) Any sport that limits you to using your feet, with the occasional bang of the head, has something very wrong with it. Indeed, soccer is a liberal's dream of tragedy: It creates an egalitarian playing field by rigorously enforcing a uniform disability. Anthropologists commonly define man according to his use of hands. We have the thumb, an opposable digit that God gave us to distinguish us from animals that walk on all fours. The thumb lets us do things like throw baseballs and fold our hands in prayer. We can even talk with our hands. Have you ever seen a deaf person trying to talk with his feet? When you are really angry and acting like an animal, you kick out with your feet. Only fools punch a wall with their hands. The Iraqi who threw his shoes at President Bush was following his primordial instincts. Showing someone your feet, or sticking your shoes in someone's face, is the ultimate sign of disrespect. Do kids ever say, "Trick or Treat, smell my hands"? Did Jesus wash his disciples' hands at the Last Supper? No, hands are divine (they are one of the body parts most frequently attributed to God), while feet are in need of redemption. In all the portraits of God's wrath, never once is he pictured as wanting to step on us or kick us; he does not stoop that low.

2) Sporting should be about breaking kids down before you start building them up. Take baseball, for example. When I was a kid, baseball was the most popular sport precisely because it was so demanding. Even its language was intimidating, with bases, bats, strikes and outs. Striding up to the plate gave each of us a chance to act like we were starring in a Western movie, and tapping the bat to the plate gave us our first experience with inventing self-indulgent personal rituals. The boy chosen to be the pitcher was inevitably the first kid on the team to reach puberty, and he threw a hard ball right at you.

Thus, you had to face the fear of disfigurement as well as the statistical probability of striking out. The spectacle of your failure was so public that it was like having all of your friends invited to your home to watch your dad forcing you to eat your vegetables. We also spent a lot of time in the outfield chanting, "Hey batter batter!" as if we were Buddhist monks on steroids. Our chanting was compensatory behavior, a way of making the time go by, which is surely why at soccer games today it is the parents who do all of the yelling.

3) Everyone knows that soccer is a foreign invasion, but few people know exactly what is wrong with that. More than having to do with its origin, soccer is a European sport because it is all about death and despair. Americans would never invent a sport where the better you get the less you score. Even the way most games end, in sudden death, suggests something of an old-fashioned duel. How could anyone enjoy a game where so much energy results in so little advantage, and which typically ends with a penalty kick out, as if it is the audience that needs to be put out of its misery? Shootouts are such an anticlimax to the game and are so unpredictable that the teams might as well flip a coin to see who wins—indeed, they might as well flip the coin before the game, and not play at all.

4) And then there is the question of sex. I know my daughter will kick me when she reads this, but soccer is a game for girls. Girls are too smart to waste an entire day playing baseball, and they do not have the bloodlust for football. Soccer penalizes shoving and burns countless calories, and the margins of victory are almost always too narrow to afford any gloating. As a display of nearly death-defying stamina, soccer mimics the paradigmatic feminine experience of childbirth more than the masculine business of destroying your opponent with insurmountable power.

Let me conclude on a note of despair appropriate to my topic. There is no way to run away from soccer, if only because it is a sport all about running. It is as relentless as it is easy, and it is as tiring to play as it is tedious to watch. The real tragedy is that soccer is a foreign invasion, but it is not a plot to overthrow America. For those inclined toward paranoia, it would be easy to blame soccer's success on the political left, which, after all, worked for years to bring European decadence and despair to America. The left tried to make existentialism, Marxism, poststructuralism, and deconstructionism fashionable in order to weaken the clarity, pragmatism and drive of American culture. What the left could not accomplish through these intellectual fads, one might suspect, they are trying to accomplish through sport.

Yet this suspicion would be mistaken. Soccer is of foreign origin, that is certainly true, but its promotion and implementation are thoroughly domestic. Soccer is a self-inflicted wound. Americans have nobody to blame but themselves. Conservative suburban families, the backbone of America, have turned to soccer in droves. Baseball is too intimidating, football too brutal, and basketball takes too much time to develop the required skills. American parents in the past several decades are overworked and exhausted, but their children are overweight and neglected. Soccer is the perfect antidote to television and video games. It forces kids to run and run, and everyone can play their role, no matter how minor or irrelevant to the game. Soccer and television are the peanut butter and jelly of parenting.

I should know. I am an overworked teacher, with books to read and books to write, and before I put in a video for the kids to watch while I work in the evenings, they need to have spent some of their energy. Otherwise, they want to play with me! Last year all three of my kids were on three different soccer teams at the same time. My daughter is on a traveling team, and she is quite good. I had to sign a form that said, among other things, I would not do anything embarrassing to her or the team during the game. I told the coach I could not sign it. She was perplexed and worried. "Why not," she asked? "Are you one of those parents who yells at their kids? "Not at all," I replied, "I read books on the sidelines during the game, and this embarrasses my daughter to no end." That is my one way of protesting the rise of this pitiful sport. Nonetheless, I must say that my kids and I come home from a soccer game a very happy family.

Mr. Webb is a professor of religion and philosophy at Wabash College. His recent books include "American Providence" and "Taking Religion to School."



If this was posted before let me know and i will delete it.

Article makes sense. ::)
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Offline WestCoast

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Re: Soccer Is Ruining America
« Reply #1 on: March 18, 2009, 10:46:42 PM »
I am wondering if this article was written
"Tongue in Cheek" ;D

please refer to
"2) Sporting should be about breaking kids down before you start building them up. Take baseball, for example. When I was a kid, baseball was the most popular sport precisely because it was so demanding. Even its language was intimidating, with bases, bats, strikes and outs."
« Last Edit: March 18, 2009, 10:53:52 PM by WestCoast »
Whatever you do, do it to the purpose; do it thoroughly, not superficially. Go to the bottom of things. Any thing half done, or half known, is in my mind, neither done nor known at all. Nay, worse, for it often misleads.
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Offline Toppa

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Re: Soccer Is Ruining America
« Reply #2 on: March 18, 2009, 10:49:42 PM »
He can't be serious.
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truetrini

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Re: Soccer Is Ruining America
« Reply #3 on: March 18, 2009, 11:09:44 PM »
This is obviously satirical in nature.  Anyone who thinks otherwise is a bloody moron and should be playing Baseball!

No need to roll eyes at this...tongue in cheek is applicable also!

Offline NJsTriniGunna

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Re: Soccer Is Ruining America
« Reply #4 on: March 18, 2009, 11:42:05 PM »
baseball? MUTHA FUGGEN BASEBALL? that shit is so f**kin boring. COme the hell on. You sit there for an hour and watch mu fuggas stand around until the ball is hit. to be qualified as a sport, fat mutha f**kas can't be equally as good as fit ppl. Yea, its discriminitory, but the same lazy f**k that sits down eatin chips and watchin tv all day shouldn't be able to be a beast just from the jump.... thats just my thoughts though.

But real talk, I just be sittin on the couch watching the game, and Im always ready to sleep, cause there is all this, walk around home plate. Swing the bat. Look at the sideline. Chew gum. Spit, dust off your shoes. Wonder if your gettin punani tonight. Then the occasional hit the ball, and get on base so you can do the same thing as you wait for the next player on your team to do the same, or your out so the other team can do that bullshit.

Offline Oz

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Re: Soccer Is Ruining America
« Reply #5 on: March 19, 2009, 12:19:26 AM »
Mr. Webb writes with all the oxymoronic intelligence of right-wing thinking. ;)

Offline Bakes

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Re: Soccer Is Ruining America
« Reply #6 on: March 19, 2009, 12:44:30 AM »
This is obviously satirical in nature.  Anyone who thinks otherwise is a bloody moron and should be playing Baseball!

No need to roll eyes at this...tongue in cheek is applicable also!

Come on now... satire?  People does barely get sarcasm here is satire yuh expecting dem tuh get?


Ah guess we shouldn't even bother properly calling it ah Jeremiad, they might really get addled den.

truetrini

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Re: Soccer Is Ruining America
« Reply #7 on: March 19, 2009, 05:47:13 AM »
This is obviously satirical in nature.  Anyone who thinks otherwise is a bloody moron and should be playing Baseball!

No need to roll eyes at this...tongue in cheek is applicable also!

Come on now... satire?  People does barely get sarcasm here is satire yuh expecting dem tuh get?


Ah guess we shouldn't even bother properly calling it ah Jeremiad, they might really get addled den.

Yuh killing me here...lol


Offline goalmember

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Re: Soccer Is Ruining America
« Reply #8 on: March 19, 2009, 05:54:02 AM »
obviously written by a red---- American who have either never left the land or lives somewhere in the middle of the country in a town surrounded by other red----s.

Offline verycute1

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Re: Soccer Is Ruining America
« Reply #9 on: March 19, 2009, 06:04:26 AM »
This is obviously satirical in nature.  Anyone who thinks otherwise is a bloody moron and should be playing Baseball!

No need to roll eyes at this...tongue in cheek is applicable also!

Come on now... satire?  People does barely get sarcasm here is satire yuh expecting dem tuh get?


Ah guess we shouldn't even bother properly calling it ah Jeremiad, they might really get addled den.


it was brilliant. Especially the part about not being able to sign the waiver because reading the book on the sidelines would embarrass the daughter anyway  :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:
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Offline Observer

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Re: Soccer Is Ruining America
« Reply #10 on: March 19, 2009, 07:31:42 AM »
Why do people get worked up over this.

When I watch basketball I wait for the last 2 minutes other than that I find it boring and I have seen many games live. Live is worst than on TV.

American Football for me is another boring sport that I watch only for the hits. Which means I watch highlites! Allyuh know that game actually only plays (ball in play) for less than 15 minutes.

Baseball??? Say no more ent home we use to call that Moral. Talk about read a book!
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Offline D.H.W

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Re: Soccer Is Ruining America
« Reply #11 on: March 19, 2009, 07:38:23 AM »
fork he
"Evil is powerless if the good are unafraid."
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truetrini

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Re: Soccer Is Ruining America
« Reply #12 on: March 19, 2009, 07:51:27 AM »
Why do people get worked up over this.

When I watch basketball I wait for the last 2 minutes other than that I find it boring and I have seen many games live. Live is worst than on TV.

American Football for me is another boring sport that I watch only for the hits. Which means I watch highlites! Allyuh know that game actually only plays (ball in play) for less than 15 minutes.

Baseball??? Say no more ent home we use to call that Moral. Talk about read a book!

The man kicksing...oh gosh fren....

Offline daryn

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Re: Soccer Is Ruining America
« Reply #13 on: March 19, 2009, 09:35:23 AM »
the reactions to this article confirm how well executed it is.

Offline sammy

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Re: Soccer Is Ruining America
« Reply #14 on: March 19, 2009, 10:05:51 AM »


Baseball??? Say no more ent home we use to call that Moral. Talk about read a book!

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Offline lefty

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Re: Soccer Is Ruining America
« Reply #15 on: March 19, 2009, 10:23:07 AM »
Why do people get worked up over this.

When I watch basketball I wait for the last 2 minutes other than that I find it boring and I have seen many games live. Live is worst than on TV.

American Football for me is another boring sport that I watch only for the hits. Which means I watch highlites! Allyuh know that game actually only plays (ball in play) for less than 15 minutes.

Baseball??? Say no more ent home we use to call that Moral. Talk about read a book!

The man kicksing...oh gosh fren....
KICKSIN, U FOR REAL, WHERE IN DAT U SEE KICKS, SHIT MAN!!!...................... ::) :P ;D
I pity the fool....

truetrini

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Re: Soccer Is Ruining America
« Reply #16 on: March 19, 2009, 10:31:38 AM »
ahhhhhh boy, journalism 101 miss allyuh.

I will jes read from now on and get my kicks...as Bakes said it is a part of letter writing called Jeremiad...oh well  take it how allyuh like

jeezeanages

Offline capodetutticapi

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Re: Soccer Is Ruining America
« Reply #17 on: March 19, 2009, 10:40:21 AM »
this dude clearly neva kick ah ball or even step on ah football field.i would love to hear reactions from pussies like lalas,donovan and big head bruce.
soon ah go b ah lean mean bulling machine.

Offline capodetutticapi

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Re: Soccer Is Ruining America
« Reply #18 on: March 19, 2009, 10:41:21 AM »
ahhhhhh boy, journalism 101 miss allyuh.

I will jes read from now on and get my kicks...as Bakes said it is a part of letter writing called Jeremiad...oh well  take it how allyuh like

jeezeanages
u and bakes like 2 peas in ah pod.
soon ah go b ah lean mean bulling machine.

Offline FF

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Re: Soccer Is Ruining America
« Reply #19 on: March 19, 2009, 10:45:02 AM »
ahhhhhh boy, journalism 101 miss allyuh.

I will jes read from now on and get my kicks...as Bakes said it is a part of letter writing called Jeremiad...oh well  take it how allyuh like

jeezeanages

This article went over many people heads not just the SW online community... originally posted on the WSJ online. It cause endless controversy and heated debate.
Here is Webb's response as to his intent..

http://matchfitusa.blogspot.com/2009/03/stephen-webb-speaks-to-match-fit-usa.html


Quote:
I think my next blog will be about the declining reading intelligence of the average blog reader. And the real tragedy that so many Americans have lost their sense of humor in the last several decades of the culture wars.


 :rotfl:
« Last Edit: March 19, 2009, 10:48:09 AM by FF »
THE BEATINGS WILL CONTINUE UNTIL MORALE IMPROVES

Offline Dinner Mints

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Re: Soccer Is Ruining America
« Reply #20 on: March 19, 2009, 10:47:19 AM »
This is obviously satirical in nature.  Anyone who thinks otherwise is a bloody moron and should be playing Baseball!

No need to roll eyes at this...tongue in cheek is applicable also!

Come on now... satire?  People does barely get sarcasm here is satire yuh expecting dem tuh get?
Is not just here. People in general doh get satire. Even after yuh tell them is satire.
"You didn't understand it" come like cussing dey mother.
« Last Edit: March 19, 2009, 10:49:39 AM by Gillie Face »

Offline elan

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Re: Soccer Is Ruining America
« Reply #21 on: March 19, 2009, 10:48:20 AM »
I don't think it went over many people head, men just cussing and getting on for so.

Capi last post reflect it.
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truetrini

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Re: Soccer Is Ruining America
« Reply #22 on: March 19, 2009, 10:58:02 AM »
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Stephen Webb Speaks To Match Fit USA
The American soccer community has recently been up in arms over an anti-soccer rant that appeared on the site First Things (and subsequently in the editorial section of the Wall Street Journal), entitled "How Soccer is Ruining America: A Jeremiad"

The article spawned immediate response from across the soccer world. Here is a brief selection of those:

American Soccer News: In defense of soccer in the U.S., Part II of many
Unprofessional Foul: Evil Soccer is Ruining Our Children, But Holy War is A OK
Ginge Talks the Footy: What Did We Do To This Guy? (Ginge subsequently posted follow ups)
Big Soccer thread on the matter

The author, Stephen Webb, is a professor of religion and philosophy at Wabash College in Crawfordsville, Indiana. In an effort to clarify Mr. Webb's intent (a question that has been hotly debated in soccer blogs), I contacted First Things via email. I was almost immediately put in touch with Mr. Webb, who has graciously responded to Match Fit USA's request for comment.

I have reproduced Mr. Webb's response verbatim.

MFUSA: Since your piece was first posted, there's been much discussion over your intent; for many who read it, it remains unclear whether it should be viewed as a satirical take, or should be taken at face value as your true opinions regarding soccer. Can you settle the issue?

Stephen Webb: The piece is satire, but I hope it was good satire, because in good satire, there is, of course, some grains of truth. I meant the piece to be a satire of the kinds of rants one finds on the far right these days. I thought that was obvious when I connected soccer to the flouridization of the water supply, which in the fifties was an object of anti-communist conspiracies from the likes of the John Birch Society. But satire only works well if it hits a nerve. That is, good satire hides the author's intent somewhat, mixing sincerity with absurdity, and I hope I was successful in that.

I do find children's soccer boring, and I do think the changing popularity of sports reflects deeper cultural changes, but I also realize that soccer is an interesting game and requires incredible fitness and skill. Part of my satire, which I hoped was obvious, was to point out in a backhanded way that I found my own youthful sports interest in baseball, with countless boring hours spent in the outfield and various humiliations at the plate, to be a very mixed blessing indeed. I am glad that neither of my sons likes baseball much and that both would rather play soccer. They get more exercise and less humiliation from soccer. Yet like people who have been through a hazing ritual, I have a certain nostalgia for the many hours I spend staring at hard balls thrown in the vicinity of my head!

I would like to add that I thought the piece had many very funny lines in it. How could people not read it and laugh! And I would like to add that the hundreds (yes hundreds) of responses I've received, most in the form of near-hate mail telling me how dumb I am, kind of prove my point that soccer players and fans are a little hyper-sensitive about their sport. You know the old saying, "I think you protest too much...." People who are overly defensive often betray the fact that they have something in deed of defending.

Having said all of that, I would say that my daughter loved the piece because she is really intelligent and has a great sense of humor, but what she loved even more were the hate emails. I have saved them all, and a couple of evenings ago we went through them one by one together, and we were both on the floor laughing so hard it took us over an hour to read them. Our favorite was one that called me a pirate (I have no idea where that came from) and another that said with theologians like me, no wonder Americans are going to church in declining numbers. I thought that was clever: the writer reversed my argument by saying that I was ruining religion in America!

Having said all of this, I teach at an all male school and am very interested in the decline of all-male bonding in America, and I do think that soccer is popular today because it is less violent, less aggressive than baseball, basketball or football, and that many American parents are attracted to it for the reasons I expressed in my article. But obviously the popularity of soccer is a symptom of these cultural changes, not a cause. I made it a cause to be provocative and funny.

I think my next blog will be about the declining reading intelligence of the average blog reader. And the real tragedy that so many Americans have lost their sense of humor in the last several decades of the culture wars.

Just as with his original piece, I suspect Mr. Webb's comments here will generate reaction from the soccer community. I do think he is accurate in saying that American soccer fans have thin skins; it's a condition I attribute to the general disdain the sport receives from most segments of American culture. It's interesting to note that Mr. Webb's satire, a piece which can easily be taken at face value, is exactly the type of abuse that causes American soccer fans to have that aforementioned thin skin.
As for his final salvo, I'll let you make of that what you will.

Feel free to share your thoughts, but be warned that any foul language, hate speech or the like will be subject to removal.


Offline Toppa

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Re: Soccer Is Ruining America
« Reply #23 on: March 19, 2009, 10:59:45 AM »
Why do people get worked up over this.

When I watch basketball I wait for the last 2 minutes other than that I find it boring and I have seen many games live.

I hear yuh horse!
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Offline Bakes

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Re: Soccer Is Ruining America
« Reply #24 on: March 19, 2009, 11:11:14 AM »
I don't think it went over many people head, men just cussing and getting on for so.

Capi last post reflect it.

You serious??  That article fly clear over most men head.

FF link from the blog is classic:

"But satire only works well if it hits a nerve. That is, good satire hides the author's intent somewhat, mixing sincerity with absurdity, and I hope I was successful in that.

I do find children's soccer boring, and I do think the changing popularity of sports reflects deeper cultural changes, but I also realize that soccer is an interesting game and requires incredible fitness and skill. Part of my satire, which I hoped was obvious, was to point out in a backhanded way that I found my own youthful sports interest in baseball, with countless boring hours spent in the outfield and various humiliations at the plate, to be a very mixed blessing indeed. I am glad that neither of my sons likes baseball much and that both would rather play soccer. They get more exercise and less humiliation from soccer. Yet like people who have been through a hazing ritual, I have a certain nostalgia for the many hours I spend staring at hard balls thrown in the vicinity of my head!"

Offline kingdavid

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Re: Soccer Is Ruining America
« Reply #25 on: March 19, 2009, 11:16:01 AM »
notice he say 'soccer' and not 'football' which is wat the most of the world kno the sport as. he talkin bout d shit he see the U.S playing

Offline lefty

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Re: Soccer Is Ruining America
« Reply #26 on: March 19, 2009, 11:16:10 AM »
ahhhhhh boy, journalism 101 miss allyuh.

I will jes read from now on and get my kicks...as Bakes said it is a part of letter writing called Jeremiad...oh well  take it how allyuh like

jeezeanages

um.................if u replyin to me u get take
I pity the fool....

Offline Peong

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Re: Soccer Is Ruining America
« Reply #27 on: March 19, 2009, 11:19:53 AM »
Yeh but even when he talkin serious he talkin shit.

Quote
...and I do think that soccer is popular today because it is less violent, less aggressive than baseball, basketball or football...

How baseball and basketball more aggressive than football?

Offline Dinner Mints

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Re: Soccer Is Ruining America
« Reply #28 on: March 19, 2009, 11:25:44 AM »
Yeh but even when he talkin serious he talkin shit.

Quote
...and I do think that soccer is popular today because it is less violent, less aggressive than baseball, basketball or football...

How baseball and basketball more aggressive than football?
The way kids in America play it?

Offline Bakes

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Re: Soccer Is Ruining America
« Reply #29 on: March 19, 2009, 12:03:58 PM »
How baseball and basketball more aggressive than football?

He's talking about kids... look at the context and you'll see he's discussing parental options, looking for sporting outlets for their kids.



...okay that's it, not responding to this thread anymore.

 

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