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Offline scarface

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Things my mother taught me
« on: April 22, 2009, 07:30:29 AM »
Things my mother taught me  ;D
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My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE - "If you're go-
ing kill each other, do it outside - I just finished cleaning!"

My mother taught me RELIGION - "You better pray that will come out
of the carpet."

My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL - "If you don't straighten
up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week"

My mother taught me LOGIC - "Because I said so, that's why."

My Mother taught me LOGIC...#2 - "If you fall out of that swing
and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

My mother taught me FORESIGHT - "Make sure you wear clean under-
wear, in case you're in an accident."

My mother taught me IRONY - "Keep crying and I'll give you some-
thing to cry about."

My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS - "Shut your
mouth and eat your supper!"

My mother taught me about CONTORTIONS - "Will you "look" at the
dirt on the back of your neck!"

My mother taught me about STAMINA - "You'll sit there 'till all
that spinach is finished."

My mother taught me about WEATHER - "It looks as if a tornado
swept through your room."

My mother taught me how to solve PHYSICS PROBLEMS - "If I yelled
because I saw a meteor coming toward you; would you listen THEN?"

My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY - "If I've told you once, I've
told you a million times - Don't Exaggerate!!!"

My mother taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE - "I brought you into this
world, and I can take you out."

My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION - "Stop acting
like your father!"

My mother taught me about ENVY - "There are millions of less for-
tunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents
like you do!"

My Mother taught me about ANTICIPATION - "Just wait until we get
home."

My Mother taught me about RECEIVING - "You are going to get it
when we get home!"

My Mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE - "If you don't stop crossing
your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

My Mother taught me to THINK AHEAD - "If you don't pass your
spelling test, you'll never get a good job."

My Mother taught me ESP - "Put your sweater on; don't you think I
know when you're cold?"

My Mother taught me HUMOR - "When that lawn mower cuts off your
toes, don't come running to me."

My Mother taught me how to BECOME AN ADULT - "If you don't eat
your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

My Mother taught me about GENETICS - "You're just like your
father."

My Mother taught me about my ROOTS - "Do you think you were born
in a barn?"

My Mother taught me about WISDOM OF AGE - "When you get to be my
age, you will understand."

And my all time favorite... JUSTICE - "One day you'll have kids...
and I hope they turn out just like you!"

 

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