Top 10 Most Annoying Things Managers Say
Goal.com is kicking off a new weekly series of Top 10s, which will run every Tuesday. First in the series are the Top 10 Most Annoying Things Managers Say...
9 Jun 2009 15:00:04
Alan Curbishley - West Ham United
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Alan Curbishley - West Ham United
10) He has been like a new signing
A player returning from a long-term injury. Classic Arsene Wenger spin. No, try signing a player. That's like a new signing.
9) At the end of the day
Every day ends, we know this. There is no need to tag this onto the start of a sentence.
8 I haven’t seen the video replay
A manager’s reaction after a player blatantly punches an opponent, or after Patrick Vieira spits in Neil Ruddock’s face five yards away from the dugout. “I didn’t Zee it.”
7) I can't fault the lads for effort
This is another way of saying that they're rubbish. There should never be a situation in a professional game in which 'effort' is a benchmark of performance. That's what you say to your kid's team before you take them out for pizza after losing the Under-9’s Cup Final; to say it to guys earning five figures a week is absurdly patronising.
6) We showed character
We played absolutely rubbish, the opposition hit the woodwork five times, and then we scored a fluky injury time equaliser off a corner that shouldn’t even have been awarded.
5) We’ve got a great crop of youngsters coming through
The first team’s awful, the reserve and youth teams are pretty average, but there’s no money available for transfers and we need to keep the fans’ spirits up somehow.
4) We Woz
“We woz robbed”, “We woz awful today”, “We woz second best.” Do managers not realise that this is grammatically incorrect? It is “We were robbed”, “We were awful today”, “We were second best.” One of the best things to come out of Alan Curbishley’s West Ham resignation was that we no longer had to listen to him say ‘We woz’.
3) We need to give 110 per cent
It is physically impossible to give more than 100 per cent. For some players, like Dimitar Berbatov, it is physically impossible to give more than 10 per cent.
2) It’s not over yet
You are 21 points clear with seven games left, and have a +40 superior goal difference over second place - just bloody admit that you have won the league.
1) There are no easy games in international football
Of course, Spain, Brazil and Italy must be at their very best in order to beat San Marino, Andorra, and the Cook Islands.
