We could replace Jamaica with Trinidad now.
Interesting take on Jam.
Unforunately, can't give credit to the writer.
Don't know who wrote it.
How can one place be so many things?
In 2006 Time Magazine boldly asked the question, that indirectly made the suggestion, that Jamaica was the most homophobic place on Earth.
That same year, a BBC report declared, that Jamaica is the murder capital of the world.
I have also read reports indicating that Jamaica has the frightening record, of having one of the highest prostate cancer rates in the world - which is partly why that daggering dance is very scary to me!
Here's another record. I don't think any research or study has been done yet, but I am willing to bet that Jamaicans have the record, for smoking more ganja and 'cussing more badwud', than any other people in the world.
And now we are hearing more exciting news: Jamaica has been rated the third happiest place on earth.
So what do these records suggest?
Are we happy with the madness of murder and cool with the irrationality of homophobia?
Am I jiggy with the prospect of prostate cancer?
Or are we just happy that no matter how life rough, we can still happily burn two spliff, whether in church, jail or hospital?
Maybe we're happy because we're always free to tell people special things 'bout dem modder!
Jamaicans are special.
We're special in many good ways and in several bad ways.
I remember thinking that some months ago, when I read the reports, that a crowd enthusiastically egged on a mentally disturbed man,
who was threatening to jump off a building - then cheered, when the man jumped into harm's way.
I also ponder about our 'exceptionality' when I hear the stories about drug addicted street people,
who allow passers-by to slap them in the face, punch them, or hit them over the back with a big stick - for a small fee.
I find it hard to imagine the level of insane desperation that would force someone, to daily endure pain as a way to get a quick handout.
But I find it even harder, to imagine how sick people have to be, to find entertainment, and release, in these random acts of violence.
But somehow the 'box me for a bills' or 'slap me for a nanny' business, keeps beaters and the beaten temporarily 'happy'.
I'm not surprised that Jamaica has been deemed one of the happiest countries on Earth.
We are the masters of contradiction.
We turn funerals into festivals and wakes into stage shows.
We mix musical vibes with murderous notions, and infuse merriment into 'bury-ment'.
We have the copyright on being 'hungry and feisty'.
We are a country of people who are 'poor and boasy'.
The majority of us are right and quiet, but we surrender our rights to people who are strong and wrong.
In fact, I'm sure Adam and Eve were Jamaican.
Why?
Only Jamaicans would be in a garden full of fruits and foods and be idly wasting time talking to a snake.
In fact some other nations would start trading the products in the garden and would have got rich - long time.
Other people would stew dung the snake, inna pot of curry, before him coulda say 'hisss-story', or turn the garden into a tourist attraction - but not we.
We allow the snake to turn don, and then we pay him for protection, and turn the place into the 'Garrison of Eden '.
But everything still criss - cause we happy!
So if yu happy and yu know it buss two blanks.
If yu pocket can afford it, full yu tank.
If yu happy and yu know it and yu really want to show it,
if yu happy and yu know it give God thanks!
