Infidelity doesn’t cancel out love
Bobie-lee Dixon
Published: 30 Nov 2009
A woman may feel that she lacks sufficient proof that her spouse or significant other is actually having an affair.
Bobie-lee Dixon
What would you do if you found out that the boyfriend you considered to be prince charming, was nothing but a liar and a cheat? He was the best boyfriend you ever had. He treated you like a princess and made sure you were happy almost all the time. He rubbed your feet and took you to the beach quite often, he even cooked for you and would slow dance with you before it was “that time.” In your mind, you kept saying a little prayer for hope that it would last. “Thank you Lord for this wonderful man you sent into my life; he’s just perfect,” were the words from your heart. Now you are stuck between an apology and treachery.
Why women stay with men after they cheat
Most women who learned they were cheated on by their husbands or boyfriends often stay. Why? According to American infidelity examiner Ruth Houston, many people find it hard to understand why a woman would choose to stay in a marriage or a relationship with a man who has cheated on her, or who has a history of extramarital affairs. There are millions of women, who for various reasons, have chosen to stay with a cheating mate. Houston revealed that in her years of experience as a counselor, she has found the following being some of the main reasons why women may stay with a cheating husband or a boyfriend. She also indicated that these reasons may make sense only to the woman involved in such relationships.
Convenience—
It may be more convenient to stay with the cheater for the time being, until certain legal or financial measures have been put into place.
Financial reasons—
a woman may be financially dependent on her cheating mate.
Not willing to give up lifestyle—
leaving a wealthy or prominent man may mean that a woman has to give up a lavish lifestyle that includes a luxurious home, fancy car, expensive clothes and jewellery, exotic vacations and more.
Insufficient proof of infidelity—
A woman may feel that she lacks sufficient proof that her spouse or significant other is actually having an affair.
For the sake of the children—
some women feel that children should be raised in a two-parent home at all costs.
Fear of change—
leaving a long-time mate is a life-altering decision. A woman may be afraid to make such a drastic change in her life.
Low self esteem—a woman may have so little confidence in herself that she feels unable to make it on her own.
Bad timing—
the current economic situation, a serious illness, or any number of other problems may mean that leaving the cheater has to be put on temporary hold.
Thinking the cheater will change—
a woman may truly believe that a husband or boyfriend with a history of cheating will eventually change his cheating ways.
To achieve career goals—
remaining in the marriage or relationship with the cheater may be instrumental in the achievement of the woman’s career goals.
Hoping counselling will help—
if the couple, or the cheater himself is getting professional counselling, the woman may be hopeful that this will help.
Fear of being alone—
some women simply do not want to live without a man in their life and feel that even a cheating man is better than no man at all.
Loyalty—
a woman may feel that loyalty to her husband or mate overrules infidelity on his part. She may be determined to hang in there with him to the bitter end.
Religious beliefs—
for some wives, divorcing a cheating husband goes against their religious beliefs.
Desire to keep the family intact—
there are wives who believe it’s important to keep up the illusion of an intact family, despite the their husbands’ having affairs.
Belief that it won’t happen again—
a woman may feel that her husband’s or boyfriend’s infidelity is an isolated incident that will never happen again.
Love—
Infidelity doesn’t instantly cancel out love. A woman may still be very much in love with her husband or boyfriend, despite the fact that he has cheated on her.
Think
For every woman who has been faced with the reality of a cheating husband or boyfriend, no one but themselves can make the decision to stay or leave. A woman should examine her situation carefully before making her final decision. But, she must also keep in mind, though the cheater might be sorry for what he did, it doesn't mean it can't happen again. Love first knows respect; cheating can lead to the destruction of a beautiful home.
