Would you stay if he cheated?

[Brownsugar]

so the issue here is not that he slept around but that he didn't cover his tracks?

Yuh understand??!!.......

[dinho]

so the issue here is not that he slept around but that he didn't cover his tracks?

Yuh understand??!!.......

oh gawd ladies, we done beat out de moral side already.. lol

[Brownsugar]

so the issue here is not that he slept around but that he didn't cover his tracks?

Yuh understand??!!.......

oh gawd ladies, we done beat out de moral side already.. lol

chups....

[weary1969]

so the issue here is not that he slept around but that he didn't cover his tracks?

EXACTLY

so the issue here is not that he slept around but that he didn't cover his tracks?

ha ha ha de man is ah remedial horner

Send him d book fellas Horning Succesfully

[WestCoast]

some men have to have day "Deputy" oui

[Queen Macoomeh]

some men have to have day "Deputy" oui

Dais not a deputy hoss, dais de whole barracks...

[weary1969]

some men have to have day "Deputy" oui

Dais not a deputy hoss, dais de whole barracks...

ENT. D fella horn he deputies wit he wife.

[palos]

The topic was relationships. And (I will blame the wine), I said a woman should be able to have different men for different needs without society calling her names.
Well..lawd...good ting ah had meh vex money chook in meh brassiere...

Daz a real good point dey Queen.

Can ONE person fulfill ALL of our desires?

Should that ONE person be the be all and end all?

If yuh have a husband dat great in bed, home every night, you trust completely, but lazy no ass, doh do nutten rong de house, and cheap on top all a dat.....should you stay in the relationship purely because  allyuh married?

Or if was reversed.  He is de ultimate handy man, very generous with time and money, you trust him completely, but he cyah fork to save he life....yuh go jes grin and bear it because "love conquers all?"

Does the institution of marriage re: monogamy run counter to every basic instinct of a human being?

[Grande]

The topic was relationships. And (I will blame the wine), I said a woman should be able to have different men for different needs without society calling her names.
Well..lawd...good ting ah had meh vex money chook in meh brassiere...

Daz a real good point dey Queen.

Can ONE person fulfill ALL of our desires?

Should that ONE person be the be all and end all?

If yuh have a husband dat great in bed, home every night, you trust completely, but lazy no ass, doh do nutten rong de house, and cheap on top all a dat.....should you stay in the relationship purely because  allyuh married?

Or if was reversed.  He is de ultimate handy man, very generous with time and money, you trust him completely, but he cyah fork to save he life....yuh go jes grin and bear it because "love conquers all?"

Does the institution of marriage re: monogamy run counter to every basic instinct of a human being?

[Bourbon]

The topic was relationships. And (I will blame the wine), I said a woman should be able to have different men for different needs without society calling her names.
Well..lawd...good ting ah had meh vex money chook in meh brassiere...

Daz a real good point dey Queen.

Can ONE person fulfill ALL of our desires?

Should that ONE person be the be all and end all?

If yuh have a husband dat great in bed, home every night, you trust completely, but lazy no ass, doh do nutten rong de house, and cheap on top all a dat.....should you stay in the relationship purely because  allyuh married?

Or if was reversed.  He is de ultimate handy man, very generous with time and money, you trust him completely, but he cyah fork to save he life....yuh go jes grin and bear it because "love conquers all?"

Does the institution of marriage re: monogamy run counter to every basic instinct of a human being?

 

[Queen Macoomeh]

Yes, I think marriage is counter intuitive. It should not be attempted by those unable to discern things with anything but the 5 senses.
Additionally, things that should have absolutely no bearing on a relationship have come down hard on marriage. Taxes, laws, travel etc.
As a female, I can't pick up my happy arse and travel the way I'd like to because there are men out there looking specifically for said happy rear end. So a male is required to protect from other males.
I can be taken to court for infidelity. In some countries I could be put to death.
Were I to set up shop and invite males to come tess meh wine, I would be fined and/or jailed. Unless I invite only politicians and charged $20k per downstroke - in which case I would have my own kiss-meh-neck column with the New York Post - but I digress...

I don't think one person can fulfill all my desires. I dated a little and figured that out early. My thought at that time was to live large and avoid marriage. Then mister arrived and thwarted all that. He handles all my needs and almost all my wants. At first I wanted it all eh, no lie. Gave the poor man beans. But as you mature, you learn to do a few things.
You learn how to discern between your needs and your wants.
You learn that you too are unable to fulfill the other person's entire world.
You decide which of the unfulfilled wants are deal breakers.
in other words, you decide what is important you.

I'm not a greedy girl, so things and possessions don't sway me much.
As for bedroom action. Such a basic need can't be faked or denied for too long. If you catch yourself filing your nails or putting the mirror in such a way as to see the TV instead, you know you need to re-asses. We don't have a TV in our bedroom, so I good. 

If my husband was like either man you described, I would leave him. In fact, I'd never get married to him unless he pretended. That's another problem. Too many of us - both male and female - lie to get into bed/marriage even parenthood. In a case like that, the marriage would fall apart. Sadly, many do.

Lucky for me, mister and I have grown together as time passed. Not all of us are that fortunate.
He can drevay if he wants to. I don't own him. I can drevay too but I can't see anyone coming that good..uhmm...pardon the pun.

[palos]

Yes, I think marriage is counter intuitive. It should not be attempted by those unable to discern things with anything but the 5 senses.
Additionally, things that should have absolutely no bearing on a relationship have come down hard on marriage. Taxes, laws, travel etc.
As a female, I can't pick up my happy arse and travel the way I'd like to because there are men out there looking specifically for said happy rear end. So a male is required to protect from other males.
I can be taken to court for infidelity. In some countries I could be put to death.
Were I to set up shop and invite males to come tess meh wine, I would be fined and/or jailed. Unless I invite only politicians and charged $20k per downstroke - in which case I would have my own kiss-meh-neck column with the New York Post - but I digress...

I don't think one person can fulfill all my desires. I dated a little and figured that out early. My thought at that time was to live large and avoid marriage. Then mister arrived and thwarted all that. He handles all my needs and almost all my wants. At first I wanted it all eh, no lie. Gave the poor man beans. But as you mature, you learn to do a few things.
You learn how to discern between your needs and your wants.
You learn that you too are unable to fulfill the other person's entire world.
You decide which of the unfulfilled wants are deal breakers.
in other words, you decide what is important you.

I'm not a greedy girl, so things and possessions don't sway me much.
As for bedroom action. Such a basic need can't be faked or denied for too long. If you catch yourself filing your nails or putting the mirror in such a way as to see the TV instead, you know you need to re-asses. We don't have a TV in our bedroom, so I good. 

If my husband was like either man you described, I would leave him. In fact, I'd never get married to him unless he pretended. That's another problem. Too many of us - both male and female - lie to get into bed/marriage even parenthood. In a case like that, the marriage would fall apart. Sadly, many do.

Lucky for me, mister and I have grown together as time passed. Not all of us are that fortunate.
He can drevay if he wants to. I don't own him. I can drevay too but I can't see anyone coming that good..uhmm...pardon the pun.

Good, mature, insightful, even profound response Queen.

Especially like the statements highlighted in bold

Respeck 

[WestCoast]

Yes, I think marriage is counter intuitive. It should not be attempted by those unable to discern things with anything but the 5 senses.
Additionally, things that should have absolutely no bearing on a relationship have come down hard on marriage. Taxes, laws, travel etc.
As a female, I can't pick up my happy arse and travel the way I'd like to because there are men out there looking specifically for said happy rear end. So a male is required to protect from other males.
I can be taken to court for infidelity. In some countries I could be put to death.
Were I to set up shop and invite males to come tess meh wine, I would be fined and/or jailed. Unless I invite only politicians and charged $20k per downstroke - in which case I would have my own kiss-meh-neck column with the New York Post - but I digress...

I don't think one person can fulfill all my desires. I dated a little and figured that out early. My thought at that time was to live large and avoid marriage. Then mister arrived and thwarted all that. He handles all my needs and almost all my wants. At first I wanted it all eh, no lie. Gave the poor man beans. But as you mature, you learn to do a few things.
You learn how to discern between your needs and your wants.
You learn that you too are unable to fulfill the other person's entire world.
You decide which of the unfulfilled wants are deal breakers.
in other words, you decide what is important you.

I'm not a greedy girl, so things and possessions don't sway me much.
As for bedroom action. Such a basic need can't be faked or denied for too long. If you catch yourself filing your nails or putting the mirror in such a way as to see the TV instead, you know you need to re-asses. We don't have a TV in our bedroom, so I good. 

If my husband was like either man you described, I would leave him. In fact, I'd never get married to him unless he pretended. That's another problem. Too many of us - both male and female - lie to get into bed/marriage even parenthood. In a case like that, the marriage would fall apart. Sadly, many do.

Lucky for me, mister and I have grown together as time passed. Not all of us are that fortunate.
He can drevay if he wants to. I don't own him. I can drevay too but I can't see anyone coming that good..uhmm...pardon the pun.

oh gawd
LYRICS Gyul

[palos]

Yes, I think marriage is counter intuitive. It should not be attempted by those unable to discern things with anything but the 5 senses.
Additionally, things that should have absolutely no bearing on a relationship have come down hard on marriage. Taxes, laws, travel etc.
As a female, I can't pick up my happy arse and travel the way I'd like to because there are men out there looking specifically for said happy rear end. So a male is required to protect from other males.
I can be taken to court for infidelity. In some countries I could be put to death.
Were I to set up shop and invite males to come tess meh wine, I would be fined and/or jailed. Unless I invite only politicians and charged $20k per downstroke - in which case I would have my own kiss-meh-neck column with the New York Post - but I digress...

I don't think one person can fulfill all my desires. I dated a little and figured that out early. My thought at that time was to live large and avoid marriage. Then mister arrived and thwarted all that. He handles all my needs and almost all my wants. At first I wanted it all eh, no lie. Gave the poor man beans. But as you mature, you learn to do a few things.
You learn how to discern between your needs and your wants.
You learn that you too are unable to fulfill the other person's entire world.
You decide which of the unfulfilled wants are deal breakers.
in other words, you decide what is important you.

I'm not a greedy girl, so things and possessions don't sway me much.
As for bedroom action. Such a basic need can't be faked or denied for too long. If you catch yourself filing your nails or putting the mirror in such a way as to see the TV instead, you know you need to re-asses. We don't have a TV in our bedroom, so I good. 

If my husband was like either man you described, I would leave him. In fact, I'd never get married to him unless he pretended. That's another problem. Too many of us - both male and female - lie to get into bed/marriage even parenthood. In a case like that, the marriage would fall apart. Sadly, many do.

Lucky for me, mister and I have grown together as time passed. Not all of us are that fortunate.
He can drevay if he wants to. I don't own him. I can drevay too but I can't see anyone coming that good..uhmm...pardon the pun.

oh gawd
LYRICS Gyul

Like yuh anglin to see if yuh could get a chance to show yuh could come jes as good if not better boy West 

[WestCoast]

ah go call Brownsugar for ya eh

[palos]

ah go call Brownsugar for ya eh

Hol on...lemmeh tap she on she shoulder and leh she know yuh lookin fuh she 

[WestCoast]

ah go call Brownsugar for ya eh

Hol on...lemmeh tap she on she shoulder and leh she know yuh lookin fuh she 

You WISH
aye aye hold orn, she reach

[weary1969]

Yes, I think marriage is counter intuitive. It should not be attempted by those unable to discern things with anything but the 5 senses.
Additionally, things that should have absolutely no bearing on a relationship have come down hard on marriage. Taxes, laws, travel etc.
As a female, I can't pick up my happy arse and travel the way I'd like to because there are men out there looking specifically for said happy rear end. So a male is required to protect from other males.
I can be taken to court for infidelity. In some countries I could be put to death.
Were I to set up shop and invite males to come tess meh wine, I would be fined and/or jailed. Unless I invite only politicians and charged $20k per downstroke - in which case I would have my own kiss-meh-neck column with the New York Post - but I digress...

I don't think one person can fulfill all my desires. I dated a little and figured that out early. My thought at that time was to live large and avoid marriage. Then mister arrived and thwarted all that. He handles all my needs and almost all my wants. At first I wanted it all eh, no lie. Gave the poor man beans. But as you mature, you learn to do a few things.
You learn how to discern between your needs and your wants.
You learn that you too are unable to fulfill the other person's entire world.
You decide which of the unfulfilled wants are deal breakers.
in other words, you decide what is important you.

I'm not a greedy girl, so things and possessions don't sway me much.
As for bedroom action. Such a basic need can't be faked or denied for too long. If you catch yourself filing your nails or putting the mirror in such a way as to see the TV instead, you know you need to re-asses. We don't have a TV in our bedroom, so I good. 

If my husband was like either man you described, I would leave him. In fact, I'd never get married to him unless he pretended. That's another problem. Too many of us - both male and female - lie to get into bed/marriage even parenthood. In a case like that, the marriage would fall apart. Sadly, many do.

Lucky for me, mister and I have grown together as time passed. Not all of us are that fortunate.
He can drevay if he wants to. I don't own him. I can drevay too but I can't see anyone coming that good..uhmm...pardon the pun.

oh gawd
LYRICS Gyul

Cosign d gyul preach can I ask dat d offerin b donated 2 d food drive.

[Queen Macoomeh]

yeah man Palos, is so it go for me. Everybody have to find what works for them.
To me, nothing is sadder that seeing people all up in their 60's and 70's who have more regrets than anything else. They didn't clue in until too late. But if wayward is what you want then go for it but don't complain later.
At 25, things sweet but unless you have the ability to see beyond the length of your body part, you're likely to have too many regrets at 65.
I see people who have no clue who/where their children are or the children dislike them and avoid them.
So here you are, a used up saga girl/boy, your tattoes hanging loosely by your ankle and it takes 20 pills to get going in the morning. Your children don't call, you're alone because you slept your way through the village.
You sit down drooling on yourself by the window at Shady Acres.

Maybe it was worth it, I dunno. But I hope to grow old with my mister and if he goes before I do, I know he will leave a lil space next to him for when I reach.

[palos]

yeah man Palos, is so it go for me. Everybody have to find what works for them.
To me, nothing is sadder that seeing people all up in their 60's and 70's who have more regrets than anything else. They didn't clue in until too late. But if wayward is what you want then go for it but don't complain later.
At 25, things sweet but unless you have the ability to see beyond the length of your body part, you're likely to have too many regrets at 65.
I see people who have no clue who/where their children are or the children dislike them and avoid them.
So here you are, a used up saga girl/boy, your tattoes hanging loosely by your ankle and it takes 20 pills to get going in the morning. Your children don't call, you're alone because you slept your way through the village.
You sit down drooling on yourself by the window at Shady Acres.

Maybe it was worth it, I dunno. But I hope to grow old with my mister and if he goes before I do, I know he will leave a lil space next to him for when I reach.

Yeah Queen.  Feel yuh on dat.

Question.  How long it take yuh to reach dah state of "enlightenment" (for want of a better word)?

[Queen Macoomeh]

Yeah Queen.  Feel yuh on dat.

Question.  How long it take yuh to reach dah state of "enlightenment" (for want of a better word)?

A long time boy -years, plenty mistakes. I went from Miss Independant to 'why de arse dis man want to know where I going?' I wasn't wayward, just own-way. I used to jump into my car and vanish, end up in NY or Montreal dry so. Now somebody put a ring on my finger and asking me question? He mussee mad! 
I'd say the first 6-8 years were a major adjustment. Mister and I are from two completely different worlds too, so that was yet another hurdle.

I also think you need to be careful who your friends are and look closely at their relationships before taking advice from them. When Bob or Mary do not have a good relationship with their significant other, they will have biased advice to give you. And lawd know everybody becomes an expert on YOUR marriage.

And that business about not going to bed angry. NONSENSE. Go to bed angry if dais what de situation call for. Steupse. It doh have no bedtime switch to turn off. Sometimes I so vex I teefing de whole coverlet! And keep to your side eh because if you or Richard decide to look fuh my sapodilla, somebody go dead.
However, do not let it go on too long -days, weeks - nah. it kills something vital after a while...

ah should write a book...

[palos]

Yeah Queen.  Feel yuh on dat.

Question.  How long it take yuh to reach dah state of "enlightenment" (for want of a better word)?

A long time boy -years, plenty mistakes. I went from Miss Independant to 'why de arse dis man want to know where I going?' I wasn't wayward, just own-way. I used to jump into my car and vanish, end up in NY or Montreal dry so. Now somebody put a ring on my finger and asking me question? He mussee mad! 
I'd say the first 6-8 years were a major adjustment. Mister and I are from two completely different worlds too, so that was yet another hurdle.

I also think you need to be careful who your friends are and look closely at their relationships before taking advice from them. When Bob or Mary do not have a good relationship with their significant other, they will have biased advice to give you. And lawd know everybody becomes an expert on YOUR marriage.

And that business about not going to bed angry. NONSENSE. Go to bed angry if dais what de situation call for. Steupse. It doh have no bedtime switch to turn off. Sometimes I so vex I teefing de whole coverlet! And keep to your side eh because if you or Richard decide to look fuh my sapodilla, somebody go dead.
However, do not let it go on too long -days, weeks - nah. it kills something vital after a while...

ah should write a book...

Perhaps you should.  Make sure to include de sapodilla part 

Wit respeck to de years and plenty mistakes, ah know it doh have no one size fits all ting where marriage concerned and it fuh sure doh have no manual (aldoh it seem like yuh on yuh way to makin one), but was there ONE major ting dat cause yuh to clue een to de enlightenment yuh have today?

Or is it more of an accumulation of tings over time dat jes mek de realization dawn?  Ah guess wha ah really tryin to ask is, if yuh lookin to go into dis ting, what could KINDA prepare yuh fuh de REALITY of de situation?

[Queen Macoomeh]

Perhaps you should.  Make sure to include de sapodilla part 

Wit respeck to de years and plenty mistakes, ah know it doh have no one size fits all ting where marriage concerned and it fuh sure doh have no manual (aldoh it seem like yuh on yuh way to makin one), but was there ONE major ting dat cause yuh to clue een to de enlightenment yuh have today?

Or is it more of an accumulation of tings over time dat jes mek de realization dawn?  Ah guess wha ah really tryin to ask is, if yuh lookin to go into dis ting, what could KINDA prepare yuh fuh de REALITY of de situation?

Sorry. Under advice from meh sollysotter I can no longer answer your questions. Yuh have to wait for de book to come out...

No but serious. Putting physical attraction aside for a minute. You need to love the person's mind too and that takes time.
If I had to put my finger on one thing it would most likely be respect. Even in the deepest, darkest hour of real disagreements we kept that part. And lawd knows ah make some dragon size mistakes eh?
Marriage is wuk Palos, plenty plenty wuk and nothing can really prepare you. YOU have to be mature and open minded. So does she. You both have to WANT to make it. Not no half hearted business - "ah go see how it go" kinda ting. Or "is time I fine a lil ting to settle een wid" or "ah getting ole and want to make a chile before meh egg an dem dry up".
All yuh have to talk and talk some more. Find out what your deal breakers are. She smokes, she like to go clubbing without you? She lies about silly little things? She doh bade after? (oh GEEEDE!) 

And yuh know after all dat it still en have no guarantee?
You're right. There is no manual. But once children are part of your planning, try to find out what YOU can put up with and what you can't. Those little people need you both.
One BIG MACCO ting to talk about is MONEY. And here again, there is no one size fits all. Mister and I share an account. All income goes there. We pay bills, we do what we have to. Some folks say NAH, what is yours is yours, but I have learned that if I cannot share and trust, then I am in the wrong house. I have had people walk away with my belongings. But these are things, I can replace them. Once you have lost my trust, you are the one who lsot everything, not me. That took time to learn and I would not recommend it right away.

[Dutty]

Palos, ah fine yuh aksin plenty plenty question boy

Look like yuh done climb de sapodilla tree and focusin on one dat drop in yuh lap
....time to go and press mih suit

[palos]

Palos, ah fine yuh aksin plenty plenty question boy

Look like yuh done climb de sapodilla tree and focusin on one dat drop in yuh lap
....time to go and press mih suit

Jes askin on behalf of all de lost one's out dey like Jumbie, Eddoes, Truetrini and dem who BADLY want to know de answers but fraid to ask dem same questions bro...

By de way....is PLENTY climbin I do eh....

[Queen Macoomeh]

That's another thing you highlighted right there.
Fellas..ASK QUESTIONS, look around, find out. Stop with the foolish machismo for a little while and pay close attention. It's your life you playing with. Find out about her, check the family. If mammy on Ritalin and daddy in jail for mass murder, check yuhself. Visit the family, check where this girl living. If she keeps her home like a pigsty, guess what? Also, if she keeps her home like a museum, guess what?
Yes she weave whappen whappen and dem dresses she wears have yuh pardnas dribbling, but you have to wake up to this person each and every day. Dem same pardnas would laugh at you and have you on YouTube showing how she slap you up.
Watch yuhself.