Yorke interview with Sam.
By; Samuel Edwards (AKA.. Sam)
SAM - Yorkie, so how things pardna.
YORKE - Well Sam, I day, just trying to scrape a dollar here and there.
SAM - Well ah cah pay yuh for this interview yuh know.
YORKE - Nah man, ah own allyuh fellas this, is due time, I never made time for my people and only since 2005 I decide to dedicate my time to my people besides, my career was almost over and I felt I coulda give one more bling, so go ahead Sam, shoot.
SAM - Doh get vex eh, but how much thing yuh bull in your career.
YORKE - To be honest, I lay down some pipe on about 150 oman and hear de worst, 149 was white, them girl love Tobago moco, it hard and strong. De amount of oman I hit Sam, if yuh cut off they tutun and put it in a bag, you cah lift it Sam.
SAM - So, if they like it so much why did Katie Price horn yuh with de Aussi fella, Andre is he name ah think.
YORKE - (((Ring ring ring))), hold on Sam, I have to take this call. 'Hello',,,,, "wapan man, Lara here,,,, leh we go down by Villa tonight nah",,,, 'ah doing ah interview here Lara',,,, ah go call yuh back just soon. Ok, go ahead Sam, ask meh some football matters nah, this is what ah hear for, forget Katie, she is a money lover, a tin foot girl with fake tot-tots who me eh want no more.
SAM - So, why did you decide on not taking up the post to assists Latapy on the national team.
YORKE - Latapy like a midget in a urinal. Between you and me, Latapy is a change man, he sucking Jack balls day and night, he dont want anyone to help with the team because he fraid they take he wok. I was suppose to be head coach for T&T but when ah realise how he moving, I say nah boy, leh he go ahead, he eh know Jack go dust him out like a step child soon. He playing Belize, Antigua and Guyana and saying de team imporving. STEUPS....
SAM - So why yuh feel we fail to qualify for de 2010 world cup.
YORKE - We fail because we had a coach who had no balls (Maturana) and then he was assisted by a man who under minded him (Latapy). In other words, humpty dumpty was push, he Maturana didn't retire. Now Latapy got in power and he wants to run around Tobago and play ring around de posie and then saying de team fit and ready, is one setta backwards training he have de team doing, I could not handle it and decide my rep is more important. When he win a game, he does celebrate with cigarettes, I does bull girls, so we on a different vibes.
SAM - So ah hear you and de 7 Warriors accept seceret payments from the TTFF.
YORKE - Well Sam, I done with football and no more money coming in, so I have to do what I have to do, to hell with them other 16 fellas, they is some broke ass bitches who looking for de easy way out, I make mines and still making. Them fellas win they case so long and still cant get they money. I cant go against Jack, he does take care of me, is ah Hummer I pushing when I land in Trini compliments Jack and now that he is acting PM, money will flow like water, not even wasa could fix that pipe. Jack is like a daddy to me, I even wrote a song for him. ,,,,,,,,,,,,, At first I was afraid, I was petrified. Kept thinking I could never live without Jack by my side. And then he took good care of me when I came from Tobago,,,,, and gave me strength to step out the door so now I'm calling all my friends and hitting the dance floor''''' oh no not I, I learn to whiiiinnnne,,,, if Jack is not here I'll get left behind,,,,,, etc etc.........
SAM - So was Bertille St Clair really de man who break you out.
YORKE - Nah, John Homles was de man I really learn from, is nuff blues I watch and de man was bless. Ah tell yuh it had days I use to run home from school, spank de monkey, then go and play football, come home in de night and beat de Dolphin again, ah do it so much I was getting so skinny meh teeth was cocking out more, but Bertie came in good time, he save meh from meh self.
SAM - No, no, ah mean on de fotball scene nah.
YORKE - Oh, shit, shit, ah miss understood, well, St Clair had a piece in my career and he does act like an asshole and boast whole day in my name, so ah just continue giving him all de props, but from de earlies, it was my school coach who really help me at Signal Hill.
SAM - What really went wrong with you and Alex Ferguson.
YORKE - He had problems, he couldn't sex no more, he prick was dead like a pair of ole gloves and viagra was helping and I was just bulling them girl hands down, so like he use to get horras and decided to make some silly excuses to get rid of me, is not he business who I dating or not. De price was right in them days, look I end up like my hero John Holmes and act a blues with Mark Bosnich.
SAM - How was de experence in de world cup.
YORKE - Well de experience was great, is nuff thing I planass in Germany, expect to see a young Yorke spring up somewhere in Germany. On de field we play ball though, my best memory was when Sancho pull Peter Crouch balls during the T&T vs England match when he and Crouch went up and Crouch pull he hair to score, ah wish he did pull it harder because they woulda take him off the game and we mighta win that game as that was de turning point in that game.
SAM - Were you vex Latas didn't get much playing time.
YORKE - Again, Latas wanted de coaches wok and was promised it after the world cup, then Jack get vex when we didn't beat Sweden and say to hell with you Latas, so Latas say he not playing for that, send me home, but the fans was chatting Latas name and then Latas had no choice but to take a run out just to please de fans.
Latas so chupid, if he was a police, he woulda jump on he whistle and blow he horse.
SAM - So what is your next move now.
YORKE - I thought Sydney FC woulda sign meh after de game ah play for them last week vs Everton, but they say no, now ah go try to become a pundit for BBC or SkySports, ah tried ESPN but Shaka eh trying to put in a word for me, he just all for he self now, maybe de blacklist standout with de 7 vs de 16 still affecting him, but I made mines and I eh have a parrot on a stick to worry about, unlike him.
SAM - Yuh think Kenwyne Jones go be de next Yorke.
YORKE - HA !!!! Kenwyne does run like he shoe lace un-tie, de man big and strong and cant even get one shot off on goal, he does run like a maraton runner running a 100m race, with no ergency at all, he have alot to learn.
(ring ring ring))) 'hello',,, "hi, is this Yorkie",,,,, yes,,,,, but call me Dwight please, who is this ?,,,,, this is Weary from de soca warriors online and I work for de government too,,,,,, how can I help you baby,,,,,,,, ah need ah free autograph shirt from you, is that possible ? ,,,,,, (beep, beep beep))), TSTT operator, their appears to be a phone of the ringer, please hang up and try your call again.
SAM - Who was that Yorkie.
YORKE - Some girl looking for shirt, steups, Manning must be put she up to it, he vex since he lost election and he still vex with me because he suspect ah crack one of he cousin.
YORKE - Anyhow Sam, I have to go, tell de fans ah love them and if they need any tips on love, call me, I am de master of making love, ah plan on doing an next book about making love, the art.
SAM - Thanks Yorke, bye.
