I had to share this with all yuh…
I am sitting here like po-me-one, stun and confuse.
Hear de lyrics (please pardon de big people words eh? Doh let de chirren see)
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March 30th, 2011
Well I doh really know where to start nuh…
I just went up the road by a bakery. They have nice pastry and the chirren like it so I pass in to buy one or two. I looking in the glass case and the lady behind the counter come and ask if I need help. I say no thanks and order two of that and three of that and went to pay. The lady say “Oh that’s a nice accent, where are you from?” I say Trinidad. She say “Sweet! We Caribbean women have nice everythings, don’t we?” And she tell me she’s from Puerto Rico. I say “Nice!” and we buss a small laugh.
Ay Ay…
All in a sudden a next other lady pipe up.
“Y’all ain’t worth sh…!” and she flick a 2 inch acrylic nail in we face.
Me and my new best friend (let’s call her Rosita) look at each other then look back at the woman (let’s call her Poopsin). Hear she, “y’all fulla sh… Y’all just like y’alls sef and don’t care bout no body elses. Y’all just lil fu…ers.”
Well…my mout open catching flies but Rosita wasn’t backward. She throw two Spanish cuss in Poopsin face (she sounded JUST like Jennefer Lopez – but doh say I profiling eh?) then said in English. “Who you talking to B..ch?”
All I want is two bun and a pastry but I getting a matinee show free so I lean up on the glass case to listen. Poopsin open up she cake hole and leggo in Rosita tail with an opening aria of freshly squeezed verbal planass then added. “I had one of y’alls. Sweetest piece I ever had then she ups and left me to go back to her husband.
Well lawd I put down my bag and accepted the fact that I will be late getting back to work because I am not leaving this bakery for Thy Kingdom Come.
Poopsin start to cry. She apologize to we for taking out she frustrations on we but when she heard we talking, all the pain and heartache overcome her. She woman was from Antigua (she said Antiguana but I was in no condition to correct her). And Poopsin fell in love but the woman only used her to “test her skills” then went back to her husband and is now pregnant (I assumed it isn’t Poopsin’s child but these days you really can’t vouch for anyone eh?) Rosita hand Poopsin a napkin. Poopsin take it, blow in it and say she can’t buy anything now, she is too distraught and she left.
Rosita and I looked at each other again. We couldn’t laugh – that would be unkind, right? We couldn’t cry because the suddenness of Poopsin’s attack and retreat had we swaying.
I picked up my bag and left the bakery.
Ah done talk eh? Doh akse me nutting!
