Well BOY! 1. Man changes name to Fernando Torres weeks before transfer
Shaun McCormack's extravagant gesture to prove his dedication to Liverpool could not have come at a worse time: the 36-year-old from Sc**thorpe changed his name to Fernando Torres just before Christmas.
"I did think about changing my name to Steve Gerrard but I wanted something a little more flamboyant," said Fernando.
3, 4 and 5. Manchester City fans' triple tattoo trouble
Tattoo parlours and tattoo removal clinics in the Greater Manchester area have long been offering secret prayers of thanks to Manchester City. And, more specifically, fans' habits of getting pre-emptive tattoos done before players have been signed or trophies have been won.
Take 25-year-old Kirk Bradley, for example, who had " Manchester City - Champions League Winners 2011" tattooed on his left arm before the start of the 2009-10 season. City failed to qualify for the Champions League.
Then there was Chris Atkinson, who had the name of Brazilian superstar Kaka tattooed on his chest after becoming convinced that the playmaker would move to Eastlands from AC Milan. Kaka chose to go to Real Madrid instead, and Atkinson was left red-faced.
Not that he learnt his lesson: Atkinson later got a Robinho tattoo after a bet with a friend, this time sensibly waiting for the player's deal to be confirmed. The forward has since left at a loss of around £20m to the club's owners.
Atkinson is not worried, however, and has come up with a novel alternative to having his tattoos removed:
"I'll just wait until I have kids and call them Robinho and Kaka," he said.
Those well-publicised bits of body art proved to be no deterrent for City fan Simon Hart, who spent £500 having a massive image of Wayne Rooney etched into his back with the words "Rooney - City Legend" beneath it last autumn when the England striker seemed set to leave Manchester United.
Needless to say, Rooney decided to stay at Old Trafford leaving Hart with egg on his face as well as ink indelibly injected into his back.
"It would have been so sweet to ram it down their throats after all these years of getting the s****y end of the stick," said Hart.
"Now I've been shafted by United again - and I'm stuck with Shrek's ugly mug on my back."
