To be honest, I was hoping to learn two things: (1) whether you had any "buts" in your assessment of deference to refs and (2) your take on balancing advocacy for players (be it their safety or otherwise) with not being "deferential" to the referee's authority. The reason being I could relate to the original comment about refs in your neck of the woods. Why? I got on the wrong side of one at an edition of the Kickers Colonial Cup.
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The thing with me is i was quick to learn about Refs when i came here,not that i had any incidents with them but i find that they run a game like Police men,the law says this and you break the law you going to pay for it,it have kids who are scared to run offsides because they don't don't want the Ref to blow them.
My policy is "you right you wrong,you wrong you wrong" these guys have the authority to put you off so i don't let them upset me,i just ask them how long the game is and if i have any doubts about the rules,from there on i just deal with my players,usually i may have an assistant Coach who decide to take them on and i ask them to refrain from arguments with the Ref.
Referees differ and it's hard to understand what one will do from the next,this depends too on the level/experience of the Referee,not often you meet the same Referee twice to assess what he or she is capable of,my view is that those who have played the game make better Refs because they understand the game better.
The bottom line is you can't win these guys,regardless of what happens in a game the game goes on,finishes,results turned in,league/tournament ends,you try and send in a protest and see what happens to it,i've never heard the decision of a protest and even if they do what purpose did it serve.