grat·i·tudeˈgratəˌt(y)o͞od/Submit
noun
1.
the quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness.
It is with gratitude and with humility that I accept the offer to be a moderator- first things first- I eh get no memorandum of financial reimbursement for said duties as assigned hahahahha. Yuh know it is ah volunteer thing so as one who enjoys the virtual 'ole talk' I accepted the task.
I also know that from time to time, as with ' ole talk,' perceived conflicts or differences are played out. At times in a real ' old time Trini fashion with nuff pecong; at other times I have seen it get personal and offensive. So with that, ah went into meh files and modified a few pointers on conflict, ah use to share with meh staff at the start of the year.
Recognizing the Nature of ConflictA common belief is that in life there are two things, which we can be sure of: taxes and death, let me add one more to that list:
conflict. Anytime people come together to converse, meet or share a common space, the potential for conflict is ever present.
We all have personal values, norms, and beliefs. These often shaped and influenced by the way we perceive the world, make decisions and conduct our routine engagement with others. Sometimes our personal values are in conflict with societal or communal values or beliefs. When these opposing ideas challenge our beliefs, values or norms, we may find ourselves in a conflicting space. How then do we live with conflict? How do we truly honor and respect individual differences? How do we empathize with others who do not share our worldview?
The following analogies illustrate the contrasting styles or approaches of how some may chose to deal with conflict .
• The
Sprinter: These individuals see a conflict and they quickly run away from it. The conflict is avoided but not dealt with.
• The
Sweeper: These individuals simply sweep the conflict under the mat without dealing with it.
• The
Sidewinder: Individuals may approach conflict in an oblique way and not deal with the conflict itself.
• The
Bulldozer: This individual may approach the conflict head on and in some instances maybe so overpowering that they drive the conflict underground.
•
Grenade Tosser: This individual stirs up the conflict and then runs for cover.
•
Broadcaster: This individual seeks out allies for his/her position. They broadcast the nature of the conflict as oppose to dealing with it.
Using the acronym
W.A.I.T. provides a starting point for consideration when encountering a conflicting situation.
•
Words. The words we choose
•
Attitude. The attitude we have
•
Individual. The individual you choose to talk to.
•
Timing. The time you choose to deal with the conflict.- take time o react. Remember the focus is on the issue not the individual.
Respecting the other If you have an issue with me, pm me (privately)
If I see ‘ just’ cause to deal with an issue with you, I'll pm you (privately)
If someone has an issue with me and comes to you, direct them to me (I'll do the same for you)
If someone consistently will not come to me, say, "Let's pm together. I am sure he will respond to us about this" (I'll do the same for you)
Be careful how you interpret others. On matters that are unclear, do not feel pressured to interpret my feelings or thoughts. It is easy to misinterpret intentions.
I will be careful how I interpret you.
If it's confidential, don't tell. If anyone comes to me in confidence, I won't tell unless (a) the person is going to harm himself/herself or someone else, (b) a person has been hurt in some way.
I do not manipulate, I will not be manipulated. Do not let others try to manipulate me through you.
When in doubt, just say it.
Allyuh ah retired from meh career after many many years, so I eh taking up because ah missing the wuck related stress or wuck pressure- leh we continue on with fun, ole talk, sharing of opinions and mutual respect and leh we show others that we could solve we differences without the 'Gun talk. Enjoy the virtual lime without looking over yuh shoulder. Have ah laugh or two or share some thought provoking insights.
Respectfully,
ABTrini
