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Author Topic: Why did the chicken cross the road? Some celebrated answers  (Read 11550 times)

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Offline pecan

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Some celebrated answers
« on: February 04, 2014, 05:41:46 AM »

ROB FORD:  That video of me snorting that chicken does not exist and I’ve only crossed that road in a drunken stupor.

SARAH PALIN: The chicken crossed the road because, gosh-darn it, he's a maverick!

BARACK OBAMA: Let me be clear, the chicken crossed the road because it was time for change! The chicken wanted change! Real change! Change he could believe in!

HILLARY CLINTON: When I was Secretary of State, I travelled that road thousands of times and I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road each time. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure, right from Day One, that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or against us. There is no middle ground here.

DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?

COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken.

STEPHEN HARPER:  Let me be perfectly clear.  I did not know about the chicken, I did not know about the road.  If I would have been made aware of them I would certainly have taken appropriate action and prevented the chicken from crossing the road.  The culprits responsible for the chicken crossing the road are being investigated by the RCMP.

THOMAS MULCAIR:  If the Prime Minister didn’t know about the chicken and he didn’t know about the road, how did he know that the chicken had any intention of crossing the road?

JUSTIN TRUDEAU:  The chicken crossed the road because the other side had legalized marijuana
AL GORE: I invented the chicken.

AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.

DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his current problems before adding new problems.

OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a NEW CAR so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.

JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth? That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, That chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the Liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like 'the other side.' That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that.

GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish it's lifelong dream of crossing the road.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2013, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2013. This new platform is much more stable and will never reboot.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?
Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.

Offline boss

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Re: Why did the chicken cross the road? Some celebrated answers
« Reply #1 on: February 04, 2014, 05:10:42 PM »
I found this in my email from 2009  :)

 
PATRICK MANNING:
It is a policy of my Government to allow chickens who have been historically alienated from the other side of the road to now have access to that side. I am presently in discussion with community leaders in the area to ensure that the chicken is able to cross safely. So the question just does not arise. In fact, ladies and gentlemen, if you observe carefully you can actually see pep in its step.
 
HOWARD CHIN LEE:
It is a result of a holistic plan to allow chickens from everywhere to cross the road safely without fear of being kidnapped.. I have instructed the police and army to ensure a safe crossing. We need to make the roads safe to cross again. If we were not so vigilant, the chicken may not have come this far.
 
BASDEO PANDAY:
Brothers and sisters, for so long the chicken has toiled in the vineyards of the other side of the road. It is the result of years of struggle against discrimination that the chicken can now cross the road.
 
KELVIN RAMNATH:
If the chicken is crossing in central Trinidad, its safety cannot be guaranteed.
 
GLADIATOR {102 FM Morning host}:
It is a response to Basdeo Panday's call for civil disobedience. Shame on you chicken!!!!!
 
KEITH ROWLEY:
The chicken is free to go anywhere. The other side of the road belongs to you!!!
 
COLM IMBERT:
The chicken cannot cross the road. It is dead!
 
KEN VALLEY:
It could run, but it can't hide!!!
 
PETER MINSHALL:
Oh dear sweet God!!! Do not question which side the chicken is on...just appreciate its beauty.... for what it is!!! 
 
RAMESH MAHARAJ:
We would have to file for an injunction to prevent more chickens from crossing.... otherwise there is the option of judicial review.
 
BARRY SINANAN {House Speaker}:
It is not a matter of urgent public importance.
 
A.N.R ROBINSON:
The chicken is clearly acting within the confines of the rule of law and the Constitution. I have no doubt that the decision to cross the road is based on moral and spiritual values.
 
ADESH NANAN:
The chicken is showing that there is now a shift in the paradigm.
 
HAZEL MANNING:
To join other chickens having their breakfases.
 
EDDIE HART:
To voter pad!!!! 
 
KEVIN BALDEOSINGH:
This whole question is devoid of any factual substance, yet the ignorant masses continue to ponder on this abstract concept from age to age. If we are to analyse this issue logically, and according to scientific thought, chickens cannot distinguish one side of the road from the other and hence, cannot determine on which side it is on in the first place. In his Theory of Relativity, the reknowned German physicist, Albert Einstein theorises that the chicken is already on the other side, depending on your (the observer) position. Hence the debate will automatically follow that the chicken is constantly crossing the road. This is clearly an argument to foster the illusive and baseless concepts of omnipotence and omnipresence. The logical conclusion is therefore: there is no chicken.
 
JOHN RAHAEL:
The chicken has recognised the need for a restructured road and this action is clearly an indication by the chicken to voluntarily separate itself from one side to the other.

 

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